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Everything posted by Chumbimba

  1. I protested today and got interviewed: 2:00 mark They edited most of what I said to make them look good (I had some strong points) I just wanted to share this with you guys Also wanted to give props with anybody with a YouTube channel or in any profession where a camera is needed. Shit is difficult to be on camera lol
  2. Okay I have seen a recurring theme when it comes to my goals, passions and things I want to accomplish. I self-sabotage and I self-sabotage because I have a shame and guilt addiction. RN I am studying computer science and taking pre-calculus. The minute I start kicking ass my body and mind shut down. I eat bad food which makes my mind foggy to cover up the emptiness and guilt inside of me when I do make good progress. I had a meditation and visualization habit for 25 days going strong and then all of a sudden, I stop and go back to laziness patterns ( watching TV and eating bad food) I dont know how to stop the cycle. For years I have told myself I hate math and I am terrible at math and now I love it. I guilt myself though for not spending more time working on it and I fail. I quit every goal I try to accomplish. I have never accomplished anything of real value in my life and deep down I hate myself for it. Any tips on how to fix this ? I am tired of failing. I dont want to be at a call-center the rest of my life. I want to be a software engineer but I guilt myself for that goal because I feel as if it is a low consciousness career
  3. I see a lot of people on here want to get into coding/software engineering. I am currently learning python and want to go really deep into that but I also want to be a jack of all trades. Swift- app development Python- Backend Development Java- High Level language/ Multi-Purpose C#/unity- Game Development Linux- hacking and operating systems am I stretching myself too far ? Should I just focus on one language and master that one ? Is it possible to learn all these languages
  4. @John Doe my last question is where does the address come from, is it a random hexadecimal number or is it calculated from binary code ?
  5. @ivory I am getting my degree in CS. I have developed a love for math since I have started this endeavor. I call it an endeavor because it is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I am picking up the syntax of languages very quickly though its going to be learning algorithms and data structures and computer architecture where I will struggle
  6. Google Search: pointers are variables whose value is the address of another variable. where the memory is located.
  7. @John Doe so basically we are assigning the Hexadecimal to specific variable in C ? I know C is low-level so it is easy for the computer to read. I definitely get the analogy helped a lot, but practically what are the functions of pointers in C
  8. @John Doe Thank you for your advice ! I have actually done a c tutorial on YouTube and have gotten pretty good at syntax. Pointers are difficult for me though. When i said Linux I meant the command lines. I’m still confused on the whole computer science vs software development. I started taking this pursuit seriously maybe a month ago so I am still learning a ton
  9. @lostmedstudent you have to give yourself kudos for even making it through med school in the first place!! that shit took a lot out of you and not a lot of people can make it through that shit. I am in a similar situation. I am switching from psychology to software engineering/Computer Science and have met with tons of failure (especially in math) but as Leo said you need a strong vision. I visualized myself every night for about a month living in Bali writing code for people as a freelancer ( i know it's corny as shit) but I have learned soooo much about computers that I never would have know about before in just a couple months. Failure is temporary as fuck. you only fail if you quit. Do psycho-analysis on your boyfriend that you just moved in with, that would be excellent practice
  10. I have been eating Leo's veggie soup recipe for 5 days now and noticed some really good benefits I would like to share. I have eaten this and cut out a lot of bullshit from my diet like sugar, heavy meats, fast food, bread etc. Benefits: 1. I finally got a contrast for how I feel on a shitty diet vs. A good diet. SO MUCH BETTER !! -Happier -Less suffering - More loving and less emotionally reactive - A lot more physical energy - I wake up less groggy and tired -A lot more conscious and better focus - Realized that there is levels to consciousness. It's kind of like a meter where it can go infinitely high or low - Also a lot more self honesty. Less Self-Deception. I posted in the meditation group a while back about not knowing what self-deception is. Nobody responded (Fuck y'all ) but I figured it out for myself. The soup has taken a large portion of my diet this week. I have been hungry, but have been coping with hunger pains better too
  11. Get back on the horse and keep riding.
  12. @lostmedstudent don't do it.
  13. google drive and docs with folders
  14. I watched Leos video on successful people and as I am looking at my life purpose, if all goes well I will be extremely successful. Are all successful people unhappy ? is it worth even trying to be successful or should I just be normal and mediocre but content with life ? Can you be successful and happy ?
  15. I know I dont want to live in America because I don't like the culture. It's too materialistic
  16. I am in between chasing big success and having a simple frugal life where I have the simple things.
  17. @28 cm unbuffed You're right, I just feel a whole in my soul if I don't carry out on my life purpose fully and give selflessly
  18. LOL tinder is beating my ass. Barely any matches for me. I am much better at interacting in person. I am using tinder to burn the neediness out of me. I message them even when I am afraid
  19. Also I would love to travel. At the same time this all seems selfish. I would love to have a huge contribution on the world too
  20. @Roy Good questions. I guess I based my concept of success on how Leo defines it (watched too many of his videos). I want a slow life. I would love to live in Spain. Sedentary I don't like moving fast. I also don't want to be a wage slave. At least 100k a year. Probably a partner but no children (maybe one son ), day to day.. meditation, coding, watching movies, reading, learning, chilling. Hope this gives you perspective
  21. This one of the best books i have ever read hands down !! If you are serious about enlightenment or you just want a really good story to read pick up this book. It made me realize that I don’t meditate nearly enough towards my ultimate goal of awakening. It had me on a emotional rollercoaster the whole time. I couldn’t put it down
  22. keep going it only gets better.
  23. As my LP is unveiling I realized I need a lot more knowledge in the two fields I would like to integrate. @Leo Gura you talked about reading textbooks from cover to cover. How has that benefited you ? would you recommend it to someone in college studying two majors ?
  24. Thanks to my mom I had a really deep insight/self-reflection about myself. Last year, me ex girlfriend and I of about 18 months broke up and I have really been shooken up about it. I also lived with her recently and now I know who she is sleeping with so that doesent help. But ever since then I have been deeply bitter, critical and jealous of other people in intimate relationships or people who have more sex or sexual attention than me. I have been for pretty much all my life. Not only jealous of people in intimate relationships, but everyone. I have a belief that everyone is doing better than me in life and that my life sucks and I have to put all this extra work into my life to make it just a little bit functional, but it seems like everyone around me is thriving, Money, career, youtubers, spiritual teachers, even some of you on the forum who have mystical experiences because I have yet to have one. You name it, I will find a way to be jealous/envious of it. The insight came: Me and my mom were driving to walmart and I see a couple holding hands walking down the sidewalk. I say to my mom "It seems like everyone is in a relationship now." In like a cynical, judgemental tone... She responds "Good". It suddenly hit me.. it is a good thing that people are in relationships. Why am I so bitter and angry about that.. then I realized how deeply jealous I am and that I am huge hater pretending that I am so loving spiritual person whos shit doesent stink and that everyone is unconscious but me.. SELF DECEPTION IS A BITCH !! A huge weight got lifted off of my shoulders and it made me realize that I have been suffering from that without even knowing I am suffering from it. It opened my heart up. Anyway my point is how can I create abundance in my life so I can nip the jealousy and hater thing in the butt/bud (I don't know how the saying goes) or just transcend the whole game altogether? Thank you for listening
  25. I have tried and tried and tried again. Yesterday I HAD TWO POPEYES CHICKEN SANDWICHES. I tried to fast today and I broke it in 3 hours. I cant get over my cravings to sugar. Its a huge ego backlash because I cut out sugar and bad food and now I am back on it harder than ever. I dont know what to do. The gyms are closed in my area and I feel myself getting fat. Right when I was doing really good :'(