JohnnyBravo

Right now, this is irrelevant and not worth thinking about whats going on right now. Right now, process feelings. Think about this event one year from now with new eyes. I played the game of thinking "Must have been me or something I did" and it is just food to fuel the ego and inner critique. Engaging in this thinking is ugly and violent. Be gentle with yourself.

Yes avoid her totally. And by the way, there is nothing wrong with you. Dont think youre not good enough or whatever. Youre a good dude.

@decaprelap Consider this a gift from God/Life that you posted this right at this time and I have managed to respond at this time. I have been through the exact thing at one point and she said almost word for word that phrase "its not you its me." Here it is: Do not share your 'real feelings' with her despite the seductive temptation you have. You may think "I need to listen to my gut" and confess things to her. Do not do this. Totally get away from her. Let her be, do not initiate contact with her anymore. Not even a simple text. .......The reason I say this, is because if you can successfully do this for one month, she will reach out to you again. And it will be a secure, clear direct, I want you vibe. Do not send any closure messages or ask for any now. In the meantime, grieve, but stay highly invovled with life including meeting other women. She will come back, if you totally leave the space clean and clear for a while. If after one month there is nothing that has happen, I give you permission to do whatever you wish to do. Contact her. Confess feelings. Cry. Whatever you feel the need to. But for now, leave the space unfilled and do not fill it.

Does nofap work? Human connection works. If you quit porn but dont fulfil the desire for connection then you'll fail eventually. If you quit porn and have enough connection with people, the desire to engage with porn feels unnatural. The connection with people must be sincere enough amd loving enough free of fear lf intimacy. Once you connect with people on a quality level, porn becomes boring. So yes human connection that is honest and non pushy does 'work.'

Its Youtube created. Having said that, I vouch when you meet your twim flame and destiny gives you them, there is only one small catch..... You wont recognise this person as your twin flame even though they are. Based on this logic, you dont need to meet your twim flame or know its them to enjoy your existence or see yourself in another person. Bashar takes this idea to the extreme and vouches that every human you meet is your soulmate in that moment.

I found this Buddhist discussion on Rejection and practical ideas to understand what rejection is here: Discussion begins at 38.00 minutes. How to handle abusers, violence, rejection, what to do when you feel rejected..... Core message: even the parts of you that are rejected......it deserves your acceptance and love also

Also, if you want to feel less introverted and shy......quit all social media. Also reduce or severely limit your time in the online world.....its not a real world.

@Zizag idiot Great post. "Bold openess." Very good read thanks for posting this.

Practise is one thing. Practise being "feminine" whatever that means to you. Over time you will become familiar with this aspect of yourself and it will naturally integrate. You could also try uping up sincere emotional intensity when talking with people you trust (at first) and then also to strangers. Be more authentic and sincere and dont try and filter what you say as much. I mean emotion wise. If you feel sad, be sad totally. Feminine is not akin to being womanly. Very different things they arent even related. In intercations, try *yielding* more. With your brothers, let them win arguments or conversations they wish to dominate. Let go of the need to be correct or be seen as a dominant guy. Be passive more. Not lazy, not reactive, not overwhelming....practise feeling an allowing nature in yourself to take presence. For further ideas you can read The Tao of Leadership. The book is a interpretation of Taoism and the Tao Te Ching but with the focus on group dynamics. If you want to be more feminine (which is a very powerful quality) then examine Taoism. Be gentle. Let things be. allow things to happen naturally. Dont feel the need to always be "doing." Be composed, graceful, and see the magic that takes place. I have noticed generally many Japanese and Chinese older men have this balance well honed. There isnt an edginess or forcefulness about them, yet them make things happen almost effortlessly with people. Good luck! And dont be surprised if you end up with more girlfriends than your brothers. Being feminine is a very misunderstood quality. Western culture is overly about achievement, getting things done, domination, a brutality to life. This has drowned out the pure feminine. Likewise, the culture cannot be called masculine either. A better way would be to say Western culture is harshly anti-feminine nature. Please dont confuse this with feminism or women. I am not referring being feminie with those things. ......however. Feminism and its movement is as far away from pure feminine as possible in my opinion. A truely feminine woman is rare. A balanced man is rare. But you can do it!!

Oh yes! Finally a breath of fresh air. Yes @Highest and Im not being scarcastic. If this forum came more from this place; total acceptance and care, understanding everyone is ok and good enough... Nobody here is defective or broken or less-than-enough. Even if i think this way, i am still worthy. Existence needs one another and we all belong. We all have a role to play. Keep doing what youre doing

Is there a reason to read this? Already the title makes me cautious, but if you want me to read it for some reason then I will. Should one adopt a black heart- a closed heart- just for the sake of attaining a goal? No need. I shall speak with Hitler and be mentored by him. He will at least do a better job and not skim around the issue.

The most courageous act you can do is to drop the pursuit of being more courageous. This is an advanced understanding. But not too advanced. The real courageous one is secure being a coward.....If you cant understand this, then all attempts at strengthening courage are but ego stroking to make you feel you are now better than others or you are now somehow someone you can accept. Dan Pena is one of the biggest cowards I have met. He is not fearless. His fear is being perceived by others as anything but non-fearless. What reasoning do you wish to bave more courage?

@Dean Walker Yes I have noticed this thing with humor also. My tastes in it have changed dramatically over the years. Sarcasm has no humour points for me because of its violent masquerade. Much jokey style stand up comedy is disguised communication of something. I think humour is based largely on intent rather than context. Yes Id say its a good sign that youre progressing.....As your understanding of humanity becomes more 'real' for you and you develop compassion them your taste in humour will alter. Try going to a stand up comedy event. If you find the event sad and your heart is weeping for the people making the self depreciating or harmful jokes just to make people laugh, then youre awake enough. Laughing and amusement is not the same as Comedy. Comedy is usually quite dark. On the surface an entertainment, deeper an educational opinion is raised, deeper still an attack is being launched or prepared. Most comedians sadly attack themseleves. They are so accustomed to not feeling of any worrhy and try and get other people to confirm this to them in the viel of disguise . All comedy involves a lack of understanding of another person or group. Take for example famous Mr Bean. He is amusing, but not a comedian. The intent is different. Be playful, but dont be a comedian.

@Highest You are enlightened and you are God. I agree

@Highest

Love is a mystery to be experienced, and not a phenomenon to be analysed; it can be known, but not understood. Friendship is the highest form of love because it has the quality of non-possessiveness and respect. Surrender or devotion is another form of love, because it involves a gradual putting aside of your ego and focuses on the process of *giving love* whilst not being concerned about receiving love from an outside validation. In a sense, devotion is a consequence of love not vice versa. Take the example of loving a pet cat or dog you are responsible for. You give love without the need to receive it back and paradoxically you do end up receicing it back. Love is a state of being and not a behavior or classification. The word "love" has been so exploited, prostituted and weaponised for various agendas that this word isnt the best for representing what it is. If I had to pick a word, I would say "respect" is a closer to signal to what love is. Love is an inherent comprehension that you are connected to the other and you see their inner Godliness. Because of this, behaviour and expression of love is dependent on context.

@How to be wise Wow! I was meditating and had the insight, "Be the man you want to be now. Be the man you wish you had the permission to be; be that person now (permission a girlfriend would give by omission)."

@Alexink Hey brother, Start very, very, very small steps socialising. You have a few friends yes? Begin by being more proactive and the decision maker within your friendships. Examples: Ask a friend out to see a movie. Request a friend go and get a juice/drink/coffee somewhere with you. Ask a friend to help you out with study. Do something a little bit different. Small changes are actually big changes. Begin small. Do this every day with a different friend. Dont skip a single day. Within one or two weeks, your confidence will go up alot. Then you will feel powerful enough to begin talking to new people. Love yourself. Dont judge yourself. Trust your destiny. You are a good dude and you have significance. Start very small. Tomorrow, request a friend of yours to do something for you. Do this every day with a different friend for one week. Good luck!

Well done! A sign I got was electric zaps. Touching doorhandles or metal I get a slight painful zap to my fingers. It was temporary and went away after 4 months.

Im not interested in Rogan at all. He is a talking opinion..... I value his opinion. I value yours equally the same as to anyone elses. To me Rogan has never been capable of impressing or influencing me emotionally or intentionally. I value he does his show and gets guests on I like. Himself as a personality......Id love to see the more Sincere, less defensive, less harsh, less snappy, less I think I Know it all version of Rogan and just see him. I judge Joe Rogan feels inferior to people.....a constant tug o war over how he looks to others....He is a good man; he just needs to realise this himself and accept all the parts of him. Once he integrates himself, which will happen one day, his show will transform and his personality will be ultra magnetic. Less choppy, more graceful and intimate. You will know he reaches this point the day he says he no longer watches UFC. The day will come and soon that sport will no be banned, it will just be non popular or have a very niche audience like it used to.

@Paul92 I respect and honour your honesty. No need to pressure yourself to believe things that just arent sticking. Youre better off being honest with yourself rather than cheating a belief system. I argue you arent required to understand these things or 'get' them in order to have a happy ride in life! Osho has advocated to people that for someone who doesnt believe in the Magic of Life that there is only one remedy: utterly go and fall in love. I know you said you dont believe esoteric stuff, but Osho has a theory that if a person is too much of a living walking calculator, and someone stubborn, that Life will send them a woman his way purely for the purpose of falling in love. Sounds like things are going well. I would point out, you said you had a great date, but already youre thinking of the element of lack/fragility/missing out future opportunities or the enjoyment of them. Enjoy them! Bask in the good feeling! Let yourself be high on the emotional swing for ages! I think youre keeping yourself safe and within safety zones of your psyche that prevents you fully enjoying yourself without feeling guilty. I want to hear more of you....You sound very mature and very aware of how your mind can work in certain ways. How would you feel if you sincerly did believed in the Beauty of Life? Hypthetically?..... Or please let me know ive misunderstood. Sincerely wish to help even though this is an online forum and connection is (seemingly) diminished.

@Viking Youre doing a great job with everything youre doing. Well done for trying out the things that didnt work for you; there is nothing defective about you, those tools are just not for you right now. Slow and steady wins the race. If you're consistent in the Wim Hof breathing, to me, this is sufficient to warrant celebration! Just keep it up for another year, and then when you feel inspired you can browse for something to add into your toolkit. Test things out, be quick to drop things that just dont work or gel with you.....Trust yourself

Sam, I am totally sober reading this and can really resonate with your insight. Well done "Sam wants things, just let things be." My ego has had a hard time accepting my destiny (determinism) because of this constant thought of, "What if i screw up my destiny? What if I miss my train?" And reading your post, along with occurances in my life, the message is clear, *You cant screw up your destiny even if you try!* So yes, sit back and watch everything transpire. Im too chicken to try psychedelics. Modafinal and a classic Do Nothing meditation alongside Wim HOF breathing gets me spaced out enough. Ive vouched once I hit 30 years old Ill give LSD a go.

@Elia You can learn from Hailey Quinn. All her past 3 relationships were initiated by her, in her words. She is of the opinion that the narrative that only men are allowed to approach is harmful in todays age where customs and traditions are pretty much all over the place.

Ozzie is the only one worth learning from.