Waken

@ted73104 Thank you. I can relate to what you say. In the books Conversations with God, something was mentioned such as 'the fastest way to help yourself it to help another', which I've found quite true. It's like when you're afraid of something, and you notice someone else being afraid of that, if you can help him, you're helped yourself with that topic. What you give you become or something. Yes, being to stubborn to let go of trying to fix it all, I think many of us can relate, I know I can. Good to read that you're feeling much better now:)

@Blacksmith He sure knows how to roll out some wise sounding sayings

How I see it: Thoughts create emotions, but your very life energies can feel good too, that's not emotions. If you don't think negative thoughts, your experience will feel more pleasant, that has I would say more to do with your life energy/awareness. You don't need to think positive per se, in order to feel good, you just have to release negative thinking thoughts and you're good. If you feel okay or good, and go thinking good feeling thoughts then your energies raise a bit more, so if you like that you could do that. However, if you feel bad about something it may be easier for you to not think about it at all, than to try to think positive about it. That's why things like meditation can be great. My current understanding: If you feel bad that is because you're not aligned with what you are. Maybe you're doing activities that don't actually feel good to you, or you're thinking thoughts that feel bad/aren't aligned with your nature. Although frankly if it is the first case, you're actually doing activities because you have thoughts that aren't aligned with you, otherwise you'd do what feels good. If you meditate or whatever, you release resistance (resistant thinking) in the moment, and you'll thus feel better. But you didn't necessarily change your thoughts yet about the subject that made you feel bad, hence when by the living of your life you'll be seeing the subject where you have bad thinking about, you'll feel bad again. Therefore, you can again choose to meditate and release the resistance, OR you can take some effort and find thoughts that make you feel better about the subject. In the later case, when by the living of your life the same subject is brought under your attention again, you don't have negative/resistant thinking about it and thus won't feel bad/brought down anymore. Approaches such as being kind and gentle to yourself, may sound different, but are actually pretty much the same method (didn't think this through though lol), because then what you're doing is going through life and being in the state of mind where you think good feeling thoughts to yourself, which replace the negative/resistant thoughts, and do activities that feel good to you. What you say, changing your thoughts and working on your shadows I think might either be exact the same thing, or pretty much the same thing. I think a good approach to life is, doing what feels good to you (then you're aligning with what you are), and if resistant (unaligned) thinking comes up, working to release that resistance/finding relief. I would say a little better than the idea of thinking positive thoughts, is the idea of thinking thoughts that make you feel good/relief. Because for example good luck thinking positive when you feel like shit, and for example I like my calm and so calming thoughts may be more aligned with me than what people might typically associate with positive thoughts. Just some of my present thoughts on the situation, hope it helps a bit

@Nivsch Well something like that yes. I heard Matt Kahn say something of such nature about it, that your inner child knows it when you're trying to love it in order to get rid of the fear. He suggested practicing self-love just for the sake of loving yourself or such. Anyway, these days I don't try to wrestle with the fear anymore, or trying to accept it, or just feeling the emotion or whatever. Tried that for a long time because I thought that was how it needed to be done, but frankly I can't say that really seemed to help much lol. In some cases, maybe that helped but in others it seemed that the emotion just came back. That was a frustrating time. I think that might be because it comes down (mostly) towards the way you think about a subject, and then if you don't change your thoughts about something, the emotion might come back. I've heard more things like that. Sometimes when I feel something I now acknowledge how I feel about the subject, and then just find thoughts that feel better or such. Many teachers say that you have to face your fears, but I don't believe that anymore. Sometimes if you "go to the fear", you just make a bigger mess lol. If the issue doesn't come up much in your life, maybe better to just focus on what feels good, if you do get reminded on regularly in the living on your life, maybe better to work on associating better feeling thoughts with the subject. That's just my present thoughts on the subject.

I heard something channeled about it once, this was sort of the point: 'Depression is a natural reaction when one realizes that the answers can not be found outside. But when it is labeled as depression, it might be experienced more negatively than it would have to be without that definition'. Something that comes up for me to do, if you feel like getting out of that state of mind: State, or affirm, what it is that you don't want/like/prefer regarding whatever your emotion is about, and then write down the opposite of that. Even it the opposite doesn't feel good right now (you can't believe it), that's fine. For example, negative: "Life feels dull and I don't enjoy it anymore", positive: "This life experience is amazing, and full of wonderful opportunities to expand myself", or maybe a little gentler if that seems to big of an aim. Now just write down, next to that written statements things that are related to that that make you feel good or a bit better about the situation that feel true for you. For example, 'I like the weather today", "I've learned a lot the last years", etc. Write a bunch like 12 statements and then look back at your positive statement and feel the difference at how you now relate to that thought. Just a thought, wishing you well buddy

Hi Nivsch, I might be able to relate to your experience. I've tried many things and sometimes something works at a time, but doesn't seem to work quite another time. Maybe you tried to self-love yourself, even while you didn't really feel that because you wanted that to remove the fear? Perhaps sometimes we hear that self-love can heal us, and so we think that if we just self-love ourselves it will solve it, even when that doesn't really feel good to do. In that case, it might come closer to trying to force love onto ourselves instead an actual act of self-love. Not saying that's what you're doing per sé. I think it might be good to listen to your emotional guidance system to what feels good. If you would focus on giving yourself what feels good, then would you do things differently? Somethings you could try: Acknowledge how you feel about the issue, state your emotional position about it, then after you expressed these feelings, find thoughts that make you feel better, that give relief. When emotions arise, you can also just focus on something that makes you feel better, sometimes I put my focus on a sense of well-being that's in experience, but more strongly in the body. Actually there is also something called the 'focus wheel' by abraham hicks, that I tried recently and seemed quite powerful to work on a specific subject. Wishing you well

Okay, sounds good. I can't talk much about that since I didn't watch him much, but I like that you use the word alignment there. I still prefer other sources, but that doesn't mean he can't be the best thing on someone else's path.

@The0Self It seems to me that you're measuring someone based on the information he's saying. Or more accurately, I suspect you might be measuring (at least to some degree) based on how deep you interpret his explanations of what life is are. To me, that's a big no, and not at all what I'm looking for. Something I heard Matt Kahn say a couple of days ago, which resonated was something like: "not measuring how far someone is based on what someone is saying, but by the quality of the thoughts they are expressing or embodying." Frankly, I might have given that sentence my own spin a bit based on how I understand things, but I think that's much better. It's not about how "deep" someones thoughts are, but about his actual experience, his actual vibrations he's giving out. If you're looking at someones information, you're focusing on a small part of him, so to speak, if you focus on the energy he's expressing, you're focused on the total. Imagine someone who doesn't increase his depth of explanation in a period, but heals lots of his traumas and his whole experience has become expressing much more of a loving energy. If you're focused on someones information, you might then think that he didn't get any more advanced, while he is actually doing much better.

But if this method is taken up by someone who actually doesn't feel like doing it because he's trying to make it happen, it actually is resistance and therefore not really the same as letting go of control @Mason Riggle Love it

From 1:20 your question is answered by Bashar. Love listening to him. 'you don't need to make it work, the machine works. Let it work, let it work'

Like @hyruga said. I've a website on Wix, it's a free thing still, but when I expand it a little more and feel like it I can always buy a domain. Now I can add something when I like to, and don't have to worry about anything

lol, that gave me a laugh

Ha, yes I know that well. I guess you might find yourself in quite some points of a highly sensitive person https://hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/ . All the best to you

@Raptorsin7 Well, I have a quite strong preference for feeling peaceful and am fairly cautious and avoidant for people who I feel can have some sort of unstable anger leashes or something manipulative. Bentinho makes me feel a bit cautious that way. Same as with teal swan, but Bentinho gives me more of a vibe which I relate to a sense of dominance and like a sort of wanting to maintain power or so. Not saying he's bad news though, perhaps it's all not that bad, but it doesn't feel for me

Well if you just keep looking into it like you did, it will clear up more and more. 'the separate self' could be seen as like a combination of multiple beliefs, with 'I'm a/the observer' as a part of it. You can clear it all out by just simply investigating like you already did. For example.. you say 'my brain', 'my head', can you find anything that the head would belong to, or could it also be seen as just a head? And what is 'head' in your experience when you close your eyes, can you notice that there are sensations, but that thought just adds the idea of a head to it? Can you even find anything that is doing is looking and investigating? Well.. if it attracts you to become clear on that you are not a person/that there is no person, you can pm me. I've been helping/guiding people get clarity on this topic on and (mostly) off in this topic for like 7 years. I love doing it

Ha, I liked your post, and can definitely relate to your story. I'm sharing about myself for in case that might put some things for yourself in a slightly better feeling perspective. I'm quite a quiet and peaceful person, and always liked being by myself. I generally just feel much more peaceful that way. Only very recently found that the term 'highly sensitive person' seems to apply to me, which partly explains why I often liked being alone, because being with other people on this planet can come with some unease for me. In terms of dating, I would also feel an intimate and long term relationship matches better with me. Anyway, about 9 or 10 years I rolled into spirituality and I was pretty much constantly busy with that from that point. I messed around a little with girls before, but not that much. Sometimes the thought would come up during my business with spirituality about if I shouldn't date a girl, but no one really landed on my path and I didn't feel like making work of it. Sometimes the thought would come up, but it would pretty much just stay with a thought. Then 2 years ago I thought 'okay, maybe I'm missing out on this dating thing' and I'm missing out on some development. So I dated a bit, had a bit of sex with some female but in the end it didn't seem to work out, so we ended things. Met up with someone after that but the energy just wasn't quite there. In hindsight, as is usually the case, I suppose I'm glad I did it, even just so I'm more at ease with not spending effort at it now. My thoughts on how to do life now are just going with the flow, going with the current of creation. Doing what's most attractive, good feeling in the moment and not doing things out of a trying to get something or trying to make something happen or from a neediness or whatever. My understanding of that is is that if you go with the current, the stream, all will unfold in a way just right for you

Well I don't think you have to struggle to much with this. It's fine. Everybody has some things to work out. One of the things you could do if you like is just when an opportunity arises, share even just the tinniest bit more than you usually do. You could start easy, like sharing on the internet when it feels right, whatever. You keep doing that and after a while you find that you're actually much opener than you used to be.

My thoughts; just relax and go with the flow, with the current of creation. No need to try so hard. When resistant thoughts come up, perhaps take a look at it and let it go. When unpleasant emotions come up, instead of avoiding it, allow yourself to be present with it.

Doesn't resonate with me, but if it does for someone else that's great

simply being fully yourself. meaning to be aligned with the unique natural vibration that you are. Which is, what I would think, also what anybody here actually really wants, because that means being aligned with what feels good. That doesn't mean at all growth/more has stopped. Pushing spirituality is a contradiction. But hey, when you're really anxiously trying to get to some ego/mind made fantasies, you might just feel the tendency to flat out ignore statements such as that:)

The "cat" is just life/seeing/sight/color/consciousness, happening nowhere without observer. With other words you don't experience objects, that's just adding the idea of a backside, weight, function, etc to the experience. The sight/color/cat/etc doesn't travel to a brain or whatever to be processed, it is just there. There is no subject-object split, it's all wraped up as one

I can appreciate your time and energies to help. Your writings to me seem to be able to increase a sense of understanding and well-being. But sometimes behaviors from parents and friends are just not expressing love or care and aren't conducive for someones well-being at all. Of course that doesn't mean that they don't also have love for us. Valuing a someones nature, choices and boundaries to me seem to express love. Parents may know better how to survive in this world than a child, and their help then is of course very useful, but that's different than control. Sometimes it's just best to leave an environment instead of trying to speak right behaviors of control or manipulation. That of course doesn't at all mean that you can't choose for your own well-being and choose to think loving thoughts about your parents or whoever still, they still have their traumas to heal and their journey to go through after all.

Wow, your story baffled me. I can definitely relate, but perhaps your story is even a bit more intense. From your story it seems to me that you've grown up in an environment with some manipulation going on, as so many on this world have experienced. The thing that I would like to tell you is that I could understand it if you have gotten the idea from that whole situation you've been in for all of your years that you are 'off' in some ways, have uncertainties and that you don't know what the 'best choices' are (for you). I would vote for choosing whatever feels best to you, whatever gives you a sense of relief, whatever your hearts desire is so to speak. I'm in a situation too where I might make a certain choice and in my mind I hear the judgement from certain family members about it when I contemplate the choice. However, I've come to stand much stronger in what resonates to me, and don't buy suggestions from others anymore that "they know what's best for me". I'm even dropping listening to my own thoughts about what's best for me, and am getting stronger attuned to what choices feel best in the body instead. I think I saw a message in this thread about confronting them and trying to change the relationship dynamics. Ugh.. sounds struggly. If you would ask me I would suggest taking the path of least resistance, and that might mean to just get out of the whole situation. You can just feel what option feels like having most relief in it. You might like to consider that holding grudges or resentment against others isn't what will make you feel really good though. Perhaps express your judgements about it if you feel that releases it, and after that seek thoughts about the situations that will give you even more relief. Turn what happened in the past into wisdom, love and understanding, and then you might come to see what happened as a big gift in domains such as self empowerment.

I texted with a girl/woman who was exploring polygamy, and she said she liked it so far. She proposed me that we could just let life flow and see how we felt to relate to each other (if at all). I resonated with her ideas about that. That eventually resulted to us not talking anymore because we both probably didn't quite feel it. I don't think you need to think on it so much, but just feel what feels best for you. For me the idea of having a love relationship with a single person currently feels best

I sleep about 8 hours. I think in general the less sleep you need, it could mean that you are more in tune with your soul/inner being/natural state. I'm however also a fairly sensitive person, and have heard they need more sleep.