Waken

It's not the response you've asked for, but thought to share anyway: I've got into the thought of being appreciative when coming across something that gives rise to resistance in me, because that means there is something I can heal/let go there. Not thanking the negativity itself, but the situation/opportunity.

If forgiving him/them is something you tried, and it didn't work, maybe you tried the forgiveness 'out of your center'. Perhaps you tried forgiving with the intent to get your emotion away. Perhaps try to be loving and understanding with yourself (first) for what you've been through and loving the you that may still feel the pain or resentment that you may still carry. Not with the intention of getting rid of anything, but choosing to do it for giving your ego/yourself the gift of the love you crave in that area.

I somewhat agree. I think meditation is great for if you feel your mind is a bit running, worrying, restless or such. You meditate and you become clearer again. Then you can go about your day. But as a transformational tool, not enough at all if it's the only thing. Perhaps that is because it's not effective at changing the way you relate to things/changing your beliefs. For that, something like living with the intention to love yourself is far far more transformative in my experience, they don't even compare.

@Hello world I'm very sorry to hear that man. This physical life on earth can be hard on lots of us and very hard on some.. The whole world is a very messy place right now, lots of people who end up in very bad feeling places at this point. I know you must be feeling deep pain. I don't know what to tell you except to express that I know there is nothing wrong with you and that I feel love for you, whatever you decide to do ❤️

Oh, I like that one, trying to find different character rotations/trials. Isn't that true! Sometimes you may see someone you haven't seen for a while, and notice they are trying out a different identity. It can even be a little uncomfortable like 'oh yea, you know I wasn't like this before, and you may know that I really do this in order to find fulfillment'. You can always give your own ego the love, understanding and acknowledgement it so longs for, then we may accept other egos better too

Perhaps you can allow yourself to know, that everyone in this world craves to feel good, feel love. And that because they don't feel that, and don't know how to find that, they look for it in all sorts of ways. When you see someone playing a what you call a drama queen for example, you might see that they really they just long to feel good and that their behavior is a way to try to make themselves feel better. That is all the more reasons to be loving

You could just make it your only intention of your life to love yourself. That's pretty much my 'approach' and I would say it's quite the same idea as following your passion, but just another way of looking at it. You know, you feel, the love that you crave for, so you can just feel what makes you feel good, that's love. For example if you feel like you're looking for confirmation or attention, you can give that to yourself. Give yourself the love, the nourishment that you are seeking/wanting to get from outside you, and give yourself the gift of your own support, your attention, your love. Self-love isn't something to force on yourself. What I like doing is I just find loving thoughts about myself when I feel some disturbance. For example, if you feel insecurity around woman, something that could work for me is perhaps putting a hand at my heart and say something like 'I know I have some insecurity in relation to speaking with woman. I've felt that way for quite some time now and it's been quite a burden to feel this way for this long. I don't exactly know why, maybe I just didn't grow up around people that really felt the love they crave, and didn't relate to me in the loving way I craved. I know though, that in order to feel well in life, I only have to love myself, and I can give that to myself. I can always choose to be loving with myself, no matter what. And I know that if I can love myself, I can be an example for others too, so this world will be healed from the old energies of anxiety and that a new energy of love can begin'. That sentence begins purposely with acknowledging and affirming how you feel in an accepting way, then gives the assurance and a sense of self-love that you might feel you crave and then even builds the energy a bit higher at the end into a bigger sense of love. Of course, you would benefit from making it your own, and finding thoughts that feel good to you. I used this method for example yesterday night when laying in bed, and I can build really great feelings of love with this method, and dissolved a lots of resistance like shame and fear. It's really powerful when done well. You can give the acceptance and nourishment you crave, to yourself as a loving gift.

@zazen Yes, my thoughts also. Frankly, I've so very little contact since quite some years with people that have a more average worldview, that I have at times really wondered how people in my country think and live

Well, you can always see the situation as an opportunity to release all your concerns about what everyone thinks of you. Something valuable I once heard is that when you remain in a positive state, you can get always get a/the benefit from a situation you don't prefer. If you stay in a negative state, you might only be able to perceive a negative impact from it. So why not choose to use it for your benefit. Changing/transforming how you relate to something often gives you a much better change in the quality of your life than getting what you think you want. If you want love, become love. Love yourself more for the parts of you that so yearn it. Be kind with yourself. Find better feeling thoughts than the ones you currently hold. Release the fears behind the statements you gave. You can come to experience life so much more precious than anything the world could possibly ever give you. You can start choosing to care less for the situation you're in, and more for the way you're choosing to experience the situations. The key in life is not in what you can get, but in what you can become. Choose and express thoughts that feel better, even if only a little better. Come into alignment with what resonates with you. I'd say you can turn yourself into a well of love and joy. Just takes practice.

Devaluing a girl because she has sex with you on the 1st, 2nd, whatever date is very silly to me. Some silly societal thoughts there imo. If there is chemistry and you feel like it, then it seems to me great to go with that. I resonate more with the idea that neither of the parties has to fake anything or play any games. If a girl thinks or likes the idea that I have to work for something like that, I'd be very much put off. I don't want to persuade her, to 'win' her, I want it only if we both want it and that we treat each other like equals there. But who knows, maybe the guy you're dating thinks different.

@Late Boomer Had to google that word. According to google: Anima 1. PSYCHOANALYSIS (in Jungian psychology) the feminine part of a man's personality. Yep, makes sense. Thanks

Yeah it's not very good

@tolo

Ah yes, that all resonates. However, I wasn't talking about the body/gender, but meant that sensitivity is more of a feminine energy. In the way that every person has both masculine and feminine energies. Like, perhaps, you could say that achieving is more of a masculine energy and receptivity and sensitivity more of a feminine one.

Sure, I'm a male that's more sensitive than usual. Sensitivity can perhaps be likened to be a more feminine quality. I sometimes think of it that it may be accurate to say that someone who is highly sensitive is in general a more developed soul, at least in the feminine aspect. This world is obviously quite unhealthy bend towards masculinity, quite dense/steeped in physicality, and of course when you're more sensitive that doesn't resonate much with you. Spirituality is just a softer thing -much softer than trying to achieve success (as a materialist defines success) or such and that environment will make you suffer more- which is more in alignment with the gentler/softer nature of someone more sensitive. Those are my thoughts anyway

@tolo I see, thank you for your response:-)

You have these online tests like 'are you highly sensitive?', perhaps you'd like to check it out. I found I ticked a lot of the boxes and felt more peace of mind reading what high sensitivity entails. Felt less of a weirdo afterwards. Hypersensitivity to sounds is something I have too. I also got it with lights at times. Actually I heard not too long ago someone who helped people with hypersensitivity and he suggested these people use earplugs more lol. A thought I have is actually to move to another country or location at a point where the environment is more aligned with my preferences.

Why was there fear for not having someone? How others would see you if you didn't have someone? Like a fear of being seen as not a competent/worthy woman or so? I've been wondering lately what the motivation is for the people around me to try to be into relationships all the time. I thought perhaps mostly trying to feel whole/complete, but didn't consider fear as a common reason too. Well, to me it doesn't like commitment issues. Maybe your friends are getting into relationships from a place of lack or fear, try to find wholeness/completeness in relationships, think that's the way to do it and then project onto you that there is something off with you. Last woman I dated after a long time told me something similar, something like that I was afraid of connecting deeply. Looking back I would rather say that I might have felt an idealistic image/though/fantasy of finding completion in merging together from her and that felt claustrophobic to me, especially since I didn't feel we were quite the match I would have liked. What a pressure and sense of restriction when someone tries to find his or hers completion with you. That's what many people try, not feeling the love/wholeness they want and then hoping a relationship will do it. Going into a relationship for the purpose of expressing and sharing joy and love is different. Perhaps if you want love, better to love yourself

Yes can relate. No, wouldn't say at all that it means there are commitment issues. It seems to me most peoples reasons for constantly looking for relationships come from a lack or fear (negative motivations). Perhaps best to always choose the best feeling option and steer away from negative motivations. But you say 'single life too comfortable alone'. Is there a fear behind the thought of not having someone? Otherwise, why would you say it's too comfortable.. Perhaps let that reasons go

Don't agree. Most people (and the world at large) are overly and unhealthy balanced towards the masculine. People that are more balanced are often called weak, and not 'real man' (and I know from experience) because they are more sensitive. Being a more balanced male doesn't mean you're being an incompetent male who needs to compensate for that, but rather just have to allow yourself to get to a better environment. A greater sensitivity is a blessing if your environment is a bit aligned with you. Of course, I don't know if being better balanced between the male and female is the case here, but maybe it is

I can relate to a degree and probably a lot of people here can. Well, you might feel bad, but the ones making fun of you aren't feeling quite fulfilled as well. Perhaps you yourself have thoughts about yourself of being weak and such. What you see in another is often to a degree the image they have of themselves. Others often don't think too much but just relate to you as the images you put out. Perhaps use it as an opportunity to respect yourself more and not rely so much on what others think of you. Just choosing better friends and surroundings when you can. Perhaps you're just a little more sensitive than the average there or such and in the right environment that could be a gift. As you're in camp now, probably not too much to do about the situation itself. You could if you wish just (politely) say that they aren't being very nice or such. You might be the better judge of that

Well, having a simple life without much business results in a mind more at rest and peace. His vibe for me definitely feels more pleasantly easy and sober than most people. You can create this in your own life too, just stop striving so hard, stop trying to find distractions and fulfillment and such and just go more with the flow, do what feels best to do.

Well what I understood is that your dreams are often a symbolization of what you or your soul experiences away from the body. For example, you might come go from nonphysically back to the physical, and do what you may call 'wake up', but what you remember, as a dream corresponding to that may be for example you ascending down stairs, or landing with an airplane, etc. Those dreams then are a symbolization of what's going on. But maybe you can get more use from it if you look at how the dream makes you feel. Perhaps go 'into' the feeling as see if there's like a message from you there, or something to heal or integrate or such. Just some thoughts

@Dumuzzi Yes, love that. Thank you :-)

That appears synchronous with what has been going on for me today, thank you