Espaim

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Everything posted by Espaim

  1. Being an English as second language person I can't even understand half of the ingredients in your list That's a pretty healthy diet already. Going to use this as inspiration. I know you asked for advice but I couldn't go without commenting.
  2. Leo she is sucking my dick!! Is she just being polite for not letting it dry?
  3. I second this. It helped me see through a lot of shit in myself. I had to stop though because I was getting nauseus everytime when I dosed after one month.
  4. I can't relate really. But I'll share my perspective as it will maybe give you a greater breadth of perspectives. Never had any relationship or sex. Not even the basic things like holding hands. Still, I don't feel the insecurities people of my age generally feel when they're this way because I don't have the burning desire to try those things. I tried to dig deep on psychedelics to see if I'm repressing something but nothing relevant came out. Well, there it goes. This pressure is self-created. There's no absolute need to have someone to be married or settle down as a rule in the universe. This seems to be a fear of loneliness projected as pressure. You may dig deeper and find what's the core issue that causes this feeling. Because I have no access into your psyche. Even if someone in your family said this straight: "you should find someone to settle down with", you still have the choice to impose this request in yourself or not. Is there a problem in being a ugly duckling? In a objective or absolute sense, if you get what I mean? How does it feel to be an ugly duckling?
  5. Not in any absolute sense Only if agreed.
  6. For how much time in a row have you eliminated gluten, dairy, corn and soy?
  7. I don't see any significant amount of protein here. If you could specify what you mean by pulses it would help. And you may be intolerant to some food or food type like gluten or dairy. If this is the case and you're intolerant to gluten having wheat as a major ingredient in your diet isn't going to help you in any way.
  8. Lol I wish LSD helped with fatigue.
  9. Okay man you're right. @iceprincess Go to a doctor and make a general bloodwork. If it seems to be all okay, focus on the lifestyle changes cited above. If not and if your doctor wants to put you on meds choose Modafinil over other options first as it's the lesser evil. Adderall, Vyvanse and Ritalin will be a wreck in your system for sure. Also, if you're into illegal shit LSD microdosing could also help you. And the best part is not addictive at all. It's actually anti-addictive.
  10. Holy shit. Now that's inspiring.
  11. Lol I got it wrong here. It was 0,1g. 0,4g would have left me traumatized.
  12. This thread is going to be dedicated to all my insights from my DMT trips. I have a reasonable amount of DMT (changa) with me and I plan to post every trip report on this thread. I'm planning to trip every week for more or less 25 weeks straight on Sundays starting tomorrow.. If I see this is taking a toll on my mental health I'll stop. For what purposes am I going to be tripping? Understading of reality Rewiring of brain system and habits Equipment Old dirty water bong Torch lighter Set and setting Always at home seated in my sofa at my living room My dad knows what I'm doing and he has smoked DMT himself (he has tripped on mushrooms too). He can help me if shit happens so I'm stress free at my home. Planned protocol for Tripping Sundays Wake up at 7:00am Brush my teeth Stretch Meditate for 30 minutes Check if I have something bothering me that day If yes, do not trip Light incense Load bong Just do it After the trip Take notes on my trip notebook Share them on this forum Eat lentils as always
  13. Everytime when I take shrooms. Sometimes when I take LSD. Never on DMT. Always on the comeup. I just think of it as a release. For me, the emotions that I feel on the comeup are things I've been neglecting about my emotions.
  14. Trip #2 Dosage: 0,4 g Minutes meditated: 10 min So this time I weighted the dose. I was feeling pretty bad today and I just decided it would be a good opportunity to have a trip. I smoked some part of the Changa and I somewhat left my body. I was like a common psychedelic trip. I felt like everthing was warping and morphing in my room. I heard a voice in my head that told me to take more DMT so I took it and I had a great Ego Death. I was out being god for around 5 minutes before the effects of the drug weared off me. Then I just didn't know what to do. I smoked the rest of DMT that was on my bong and nothing exceptional happend. I found this to be a profound trip because two etities told me to slow down on psychedelics and healed me. I am a fucking addictic to psychedelics. I use them as escapism to my life. I don't really like my current awareness so I recur to psychedelics to have something different. I'm currently drunk asf. I'm pretty lost. Please help me god.!!!!!
  15. I cannot remember anything clearly if I take a high dose of DMT. On LSD I have almost all the spiritual realisations possible (as spoken on Leo's video about 30 facets of awakening.) And I feel like I'm somewhat sober.
  16. @Leo Gura I have very similar problems to what you have. I have a great deal of empathy for you. You mentioned in your health video that you can only eat 5-10 foods. What are those, if you could mind to mention them? I'm considering trying an alternative diet. Anything that can help with my chronic fatigue.
  17. I only tried Changa. When I breakthrough I cannot remember exactly what happened. It's sort of a blurred memory where I can only remember two or three events. I can remember the comeup and the comedown. If I do low doses I can remember what happened but it's nothing special when compared to mushrooms or LSD. I use Changa because the source I use changa is cheaper than pure DMT. I don't know it's cheaper why but I don't care.
  18. First post ever Let's get that shit moving!! I'm fucking tired of living a life of ups and downs, more down than up. How I started I used to be super socially anxious from 12 to 17. Until 15, I used to game a lot and didn't care about my health and self-development. At 16 I actually stopped compulsive gaming and I noticed that I had fcking crippling social anxiety. I also discovered MGTOW around this age and got obsessed with it (this obsesssion went away a long time ago but I'm still sort of a asexual, my libido is very low). Some of the red pill still runs through my inner game but it's nothing compared to before. When I was about 16 I started going to the gym for real and got more confident. At 17 I started using antidepressives to get by with my social anxiety but it didn't really do much about anhedonia. Those were 8 fucked up months. Nonetheless, antidepressives killed more than 70% of my social anxiety. I still need to work on many areas as I will explain further. Current state Hypomaniac, almost jumped off the 2nd floor of my house in the peak of hypomania (I'm fine now, don't worry) Also: I'm on winter holidays from college(you now, I'm on the southern hemisphere) 18 years; Brazilian; currently on college studying Mechanical Engineering How my life is right now In the past 2 years I have learned to play the guitar, acoustic guitar and bass, all to intermediate/advanced level and some other instruments. Maybe I'm overestimating my skills but I don't really care. I stopped practicing everything due to college. I usually read 1 hour a day I meditate 10-30min a day. I hit the gym 3x a week. I have a little amount of close friends (one to be more accurate 1) and a bunch of "friends" and acquaintances that I don't really talk when I'm in the depressed phase. I'm addicted to the internet and primarily Reddit. What I like to do Playing the bass guitar Hiking Going to museums Going to theaters Biking (sadly my bikes are fucked because I don't have money to fix them. They work, though) Learning (about everything literally, I'm the most curious person I know) Meditating Watching The Simpsons Little shitty insights I'm pretty sure I have some type of bipolar disorder but okay. I attract shitty people to my life and only notice after becoming their friends. I start too many things and rarely finish any (at least when hypermaniac). I'm very creative and curious (when not unhealthy) but all this creativity is not really used to something useful, only for useless shit. My goals (not in any particular order) Socialize more and develop my social skills (I've been isolating myself a lot due to anhedonia and social anxiety) Actually doing personal development Fix my eating habits Fix my weird mood changes Find an area within Mechanical Engineering that allows me to help people directly Develop a strong routine Grow my influence circle Start working part-time Learn French(up to B1) Exercise 2x a week(cardio) Those are not all my goals. I have a pretty detailed chart of everything I want to do but that's too much to type in here, so I'll leave you all with this shitty post. Also, I do not plan to post here everyday, only like once every 2 weeks or 1 month just to see how much I have progressed. Have a nice day!
  19. Trip #1 Dosage: Unknown Wake up time: 7:00am Minutes meditated: 20 I only did it because I posted it here and I wanted commitment. Otherwise I would just go back to sleep. I was pretty anxious before loading the bong and even during my meditation. It's like I'm putting a death-sentence substance into my body hahaha or at least that's what I thought. "I" did have an ego death. The funny thing is I cannot remember that moment. This made me question whether I'm living authentically or not, which has been a recurring worrying of mine. My smoking technique is pretty poor. If I want to get anything more of the experience I'll probably need to up my game a little bit. Next time Use cold water Measure 100mg changa apppropriately Hold the first blow as much as possible. I find that the biggest amount of smoke (and probably DMT) is on the first blow but I just puffed it out because it irritated my throat. Those were a lot of rookie mistakes but I'll get it eventually.
  20. I think I will create more specific threads for different areas of my life. This is getting a little bit confusing here. When I created this topic I didn't even know psychedelics were a thing
  21. Planning on smoking some DMT tomorrow or next week. I'm indecive right now because DMT is so powerful and profound for me I'm a little bit afraid of what it may show me.
  22. Started taking Modafinil today again... Microdosing LSD seems to be having a good effect on my overall mood and perspective on life. Feeling pretty good overall Productivity has been a issue for me for a long time now. When I was younger I used to be more of a juggernaut just brute-forcing my way through the rough work. As I entered in stage Green this tendency has dropped considerably. I'm not going to use that as an excuse to be a lazy ass though.