AlphaAbundance

@traveler Its probably not necessary however it doesnt hurt to have one lmaoo. If you can find one then by all means get one. The level of benefit that a teacher provides whether its +10% or +70% IDK

I haven't tried them but feel dreadful thinking of doing these practices and continuing to put in the effort if kundalini transmissions turn out to work and raise your consciousness much more efficiently

@FocusOnTruth What would you lose by not doing the work and only doing transmissions? What benefit does transmissions + work (meditation/inquiry) have over just transmissions? Sorry I just want it loud and clear so my ego/me has no excuses

@Nahm Ok will try that out

What should I do? I just feel like I'm close but can't get there <-- just literally this feeling.

@Joker_Theory @tsuki@FishyGratitude I eventually fell asleep. If any of those fears turn out to be true I would never know until it happens so I might as well just be at peace with the present moment. At least thats what Ill convince myself of right now until I can effectively deal with these fears or have some breakthrough. Im just going to try and accept that anything can happen.

So many people on this damn forum tryna sound smart and poetic and enlightened!!! Like give a fucking straight answer.Some of y'all be giving solid advice but I be seeing some people that clearly don't no shit! Do you think ur a guru? Do you think your a level 10000 enlightened master? Do you think ur Leo? Stop spreading delusion with your poetic asses. Ps: All love hippie shit stay on the path

I've researched in this forum and the things mind-body complexes have said are There is some value to enlightenment as a physical being? Quite frankly is it better than full ego death after physical death if not than who gives a shit? (All this better experience shit is probably ego) Why cash a lottery ticket 80 years from now when you can now Yeah you would cashing in that lottery ticket by blowing your brains out The only reason that I'm here right now is because I am only 95% sure about enlightenment stuff with few breakthroughs/insights, meditative moments and even if I was 100% sure about enlightment with an mystical experience --> I am still uncertain if this is the best way to go about this. It's similar to asking religious people if there is heaven after life why not blow there brains out (except they have the explanation that it is a sin to kill yourself meaning u now go to hell) Someone clarify this please

@Joker_Theory Just imagination I have some acid but I dont ever think Im gonna take that shit I ain't tryna visualize this

Damn this is like top tier suffering someone help, the fucking doubt and fear, this may be some sort of pyschosis, all fears of what could potentially happen are now real @FishyUr suggestion has helped a bit

@Fishy Bless so yes but that's like a burglar is in your house and coming upstairs with a gun and you feel through the emotion of fear THAT DOESNT CHANGE THE FACT that there is INFINITE REALITIES and one of them is exactly like this one except my lamp can literally turn into a fucking monster and torture me for 1000 years (What makes this one any different from those). How do I know this is not that reality. I understand these are thoughts and feeling of fear but like the burglar situation I'd doesnt change the actual facts of the situation. Help me I'm so terrified havent slept and its 5AM. What's stopping this reality from being the one where everything is exactly the same except my lamp turns into a fucking monster and eats me up or the one where everything is EXACTLY the same except the world turns into hellfire. Because those realities have to exist if Absolute infinity is real, HOW do I know those aren't this one??? This exact scenario???

@QandC LMFAOO help me though its 4AM and I can't sleep @tsuki Wait but I still lowkey fell my body and visual field, is that delusion?

@okulele Bless I might mess around and buy the book list because Leo was talking about how you can waste years of your life not doing the practice properly. Is this the book that you used?

@Pouya Wait how you know there is no reality out there? If someone else is experiencing it isn't that shit there?

@tsuki Holy fuck I'm scared

@Shaun WOAH a fellow superior high conscious superior being Same with people around me PEASANTS

@tsuki Wait ur telling me thoughts/imagination isbabsolute infinity and also the true self/noself is absolute infinity? I understand that in terms of nonduality everything is absolute infinity but I hope you get what I mean. Like are thoughts, the fact that thoughts can bring up anything absolute infinity?

@tsuki I can't find shit? Does absolute infinity not mean infinite realities? Meaning one were you teleport to where I am and this whole place turns to hell fire and 1000 slenderman rip us, as we keep regrowing for infinite torture?

@tsuki I don't understand most of what you said. If you can could you clarify? Stop imaging as in let go of the thoughts? What is not knowing? What do you mean regardless of the point of view? How does this apply to my problem? What do you mean by "getting there"? And not changing anything? What do you mean by removing things that obscure your view, etc? How does this apply to my problem? Just answer anything you can

This is combined with fear of the dark, fear of paranormal, fear of demons, fear of monsters, fear of being completely alone except logically debunking or feeling through the emotion doesnt seem to work (later because the thought comes up right afterward again, consistently)

@Nahm I will follow your suggestions. I "Can't get there" was a thought afterwards, perhaps a thought that appeared while self-inquiry that was let go but during the self-inquiry it seems like I am close like I feel peace, but can't get there to "Nothingness", "Enlightenment". There's an existential fear that something horrible/bad will happen, my life will end or some bullshit. So your saying question it and let go?

Appreciate all the feedback @TrynaBeTurquoiseYou mean like practicing mindfulness throughout the day?,

I do concentration meditation (10 min), mindfulness meditation (20 min), self-inquiry (30 min), spirituality/psychology research (1 hour) daily What else can I do for fastest, efficient enlightenment? Anything I should add? Kriya Yoga? Enlightment/direct experience inquiry? I hope to be increasing the time for each practice (except research) as I master those times

I feel desire to do self-inquiry while doing concentration practice. Is there any value to doing concentration alone or mindfulness meditation in addition to self-inquiry rather than doing straight self-injury?

Except there's no mouse....and no cat......