[When should I self accept and when its just a limiting belief I have?]

40 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

Ime, the sense that “I’m not good enough” runs deep into the subconscious. Bringing it up to the conscious level is super helpful because awareness is part of the cure.

One thing I realized is that “voice” in my head saying “You aren’t good enough” is not my true voice. They are other people’s voices that got programmed into me. When I was a boy, I loved climbing trees. It was joy and freedom. And never once did I ever think “I’m not good enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not good-looking enough. I’m not ‘xyz’ enough”. All that stuff got programmed into me. Particularly, by hyper critical adults. Then those their voices became the voices in my head. I would now criticize myself. I was my own worst critic. Realizing this is a game-changer. Yet the voices kept appearing and I had to go through a process of de-conditioning.

How are these voices limiting? One of the strongest voices was “I’m not smart enough”. With this programmed belief, I am going to activities that require being smart - because I don’t want to fail and I don’t want people to find out I’m not smart enough. Or if I do engage in ‘smart people’ activities, I will constantly be worrying about wether I am smart enough. I will feel like an imposter and worry about if I said something stupid. I will be trying to prove to others I am smart enough. I will seek their approval and validation. Yet no amount of validation, recognition, publications, scholarships or awards will fill that deep hole of “I’m not smart enough”. All of this is distraction from actually exploring and developing my true gifts and abilities. In addition to all the distracting thoughts I mentioned above. . . I had a belief that “being smart” meant memorizing a lot of facts. It turns out this is actually my weakest aptitude. I’m not very good at memorization and I don’t even like it. Yet I thought memorization and knowing facts meant “being smart”. This blocked me from developing my actual skills. I am a natural abstract thinker. Yet to access my abstract thinking abilities, I had to realize and drop the belief that “I’m not smart enough”. And that “being smart enough” meant memorizing, knowing facts and receiving awards. Beliefs that other people programmed into me. Once free of this, I was able to start exploring what I actually love to do and what I am naturally good at. In doing so, life becomes more fascinating, enjoyable, creative and free. We no longer have to live somebody else’s life.  

Thanks for the honest example and explanation. 

But I still don't understand when the part of accepting myself as I am comes...

Maybe I just should accept that I am not good enough? (not smart enough)

Can you see what I mean?

[When should I self accept and when its just a limiting belief I have?]

Hey there everybody

I am doing some work on myself lately and I feel stuck.

When should I self accept and when its just a limiting belief I have?

What are the difference between accepting myself as I am and limiting beliefs?

I will explain:

here are some judgments of things I don’t like about myself:

I am fat

I am too fearful 

I am not good enough 

I am messy

I don't allow myself to feel emotions 

I am negative about myself 

I hate myself

Now, the problem is - maybe these are just limiting beliefs? Maybe, I am good enough?

How can I know what’s true?
And on the other side, self acceptance, maybe I just should accept that I hate myself, and I am fucked up and all of that..

Maybe its a belief? 
help please..

Before I am accepting that I hate myself, how can I know its just a belief in my head? 
Maybe I love myself..

Thank you so much everybody!

[Sharing a deep fear state]

Hi everyone,

I study a NLP Therapist course, and at the last lesson we studied about “speaking with the part” - which means speaking with the part that -stops you/You don’t want/Bad habit/ etc.. 

The idea behind this technique is that behind every behavior there is a positive intention.

So I took this tool and integrated it into trying understand what the Truth is.

The part I decided to talk with was my suffering. I asked it: why are you here!? Why are you really here? (I was really disappointed, hurt, suffered). It didn’t answered. I asked in a different way: What am I gaining from you? Boom. It said: your life. I was shocked and afraid. In that moment, I understood that if I want my suffering to leave, I need to die.

It was so painful to understand that. I understood that moment what Leo is always speaks about and now it got so real, this fear of death was powerful and paralyzing.

I couldn’t handle that it was too terrifying.

I think that only after doing the work for real you start to get why it so hard and so radical.

I would like to hear your opinions about it and your states of fear of death.

[Leo, Israel is a very complex and nuanced culture]

I believe that the main problem of the Israeli left is blaming Netanyahu for destroying the country, and not taking any responsibility. So many Israelis are so focused on him, and no one is really looking for a real deep solution for both sides.

Leo, it is very much like you said in your conciseness politics mini-series. Each side (Israeli right and left) is self-biased and no one goes within to find whats really needs to be done. The Israeli left is so stuck on a victim position, it might be the reason the country is so stuck in deeply-blue orange state.        But at the same time, the country is only 70 years old and most of the right wingers came to here in the 50s from eastern states while they were really into red-blue position - So I believe we’re really progressing into more and more green. 

By the way, do you believe it is yourself taking to yourself right now? Its so radical. Really hard to swallow. But I’m still trying to be open to that.

[Problem with career continuation]

Hello everybody, I’m new here at actualized.org. 

I am really sorry for my English, I’m trying to do my best.

I live in Israel, and I am an artist- songwriter and a guitar player. After reading a lot about self-actualization, seeing many of Leo’s videos, practicing meditation, eating healthy food and actually, just moving myself into self-actualization - I am standing in front of a problem.

According to the Israeli law, every teenager that has grown to 18 years old, has to be drafted to the IDF (Israeli army) and to serve the Israeli army for 3 years. This is putting me in front of a problem- 

First, the whole Israeli army is very very blue and orange (Spiral Dynamics), and I really want to belive that I am somewhere at green and yellow. So, it is really hard to me to take a part in a deep blue system, as the IDF, that works by hierarchy and prestiges. So, I dont know if it is right to “serve” that kind of system as a green or yellow person. I believe it doesn’t allow me to grow spiritually and makes me stuck.

Second, I have another option, which's to go against the system of the army and the law and find a way out and become free from those 3 years and continue my journey of self actualization.  But, it will cost a lot of lies, pain, and tons of mental power and in the and of that, to the rest of my life I will be considered as a betrayer that should not live in Israel.

I want to clarify that serving the IDF will stop me from continuing any kind of practicing MINDFULNESS, FITNESS AND SPORTS, PRACTICING THE GUITAR (My dream) AND EATING HEALTHY FOOD.

Actually, my question is - Should I take the risk, and to sacrifice a lot: My career and a full stop of self actualization for 3 years(!) -become a soldier or should I become a “traitor” that slipped away from serving the IDF.

Any idea? I am desperate .