Sukhpaal

So, LSD whooped my ass to say the least. I decided to take a breakthrough dose because I had taken 100-150ug doses before and handed them without a problem, even tho 150ug was starting to get difficult. So, I took the 200ug and instantly I felt as if I was dying literally. I began panicking and trying to hold on to myself but I was dying out really fast. As time went on reality started breaking down and eventually that is when death came. Reality turned into nothingness and I went back to nothingness. It was shocking, I died and left my body and went to the place where I was before I took this human body. There was just complete nothingness, and it was terrifying until the death swallowed me whole. This death period lasted probably around 10-20 minutes and then I slowly started regathering myself as an ego and it was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me but it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Ironic isn't it? My death was the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life. It felt like God grabbed me and tore me to shreds! Here is some of the insights that came up shortly after I came back from death. As an Ego, I try to put an anchor in reality to create a meaning in life and a purpose. There is no place to put the anchor How could you place an anchor where there is nothing there On the anchor I put my deepest sense of self on for me its: My ex GF, other unconscious beliefs/values adopted, my brother But there is no where to put the anchor because reality does not exist and the anchor doesn't even exist! Because nothing exists, I try to make something exist so I adopt beliefs and reinforcements to make myself feel that I exist I was struggling and desperately trying to find an anchor before i even met my ex gf Then later on used her as the anchor Now shes gone and there is no anchor Even though the anchor is illusory and was never there to begin with I used my ex gf to deepen my illusion Unconsciously But my brother as well I used many others as an anchor Anchor that is illusory and non existent My brother and mom made the basis of the anchor then everything else added onto it Of course each thing added on which proportioned differently My ex gf became a huge proportion of the anchor And i used her to make the anchor feel more real than ever but then she was stripped away and now my anchor feels hollow and empty again But she is an illusion she doesn't even exist i just tried using another ego to fulfill me as an ego Sports teams, video games, and many other hobbies Were also thrown onto the anchor the ANCHOR IS ILLUSORY AND DOES NOT EXIST! used my ex girlfriend's appearance as an appeal to my ego's anchor I also noticed that there is no difference between atheist and religious person. atheist : no god is my god religious: god is my god Unless I full go into the empty void and die, I will continue to use people on my anchor the brain itself is a hallucination 'Other' people are hallucinations 'Life' is a giant hallucination Overall, I understand that even though it was the most terrifying experience I've ever had, I must die again. My goal is to surrender myself fully to death without any resistance. Of course, this will take years and years of consciousness work but I know I can do it.

@phoenix666 Exactly! It's crazy how long I resisted haha, like I resisted for awhile. But yeah it is exactly how you described it, it's something everyone should experience, really changes everything.

@phoenix666 Yeah its crazy because the hell part feels like its gonna be forever.

@Truth Addict It wasn’t pleasant at all believe me lol, it was pleasant after occurred. Leading up to the death was the most pain I’ve ever felt mentally, I went insane lol

@Mikael89 Well suicide involved the body dying as well, like the heart stops beating and all that. The death I experienced, I died as an ego and the body kept running its course. The best description I can come up with is, imagine being dead but being able to still see through your eyes and use the body. It kind of does not make sense, that is why experiencing it for yourself helps a ton. Whatever I say, won’t help too much. But I do get where you’re coming from. The psychadelic high is a hallucination inside the hallucination (life) itself. For example when you’re sober how do you know your brain is not hallucinating reality? How do we know for sure anything really exists? All we have is our human senses thats it, its never a DIRECT experience. I feel that I went beyond human perception with psychadelics. But thanks for the feedback it is true we should question everything! ☺️

@OBEler Exactly! Until we wake up and become conscious of reality we will forget it is just an hallucination. Wake up through death and enjoy the illusion ☺️

Thanks guys! @OBEler It is quite complicating haha, the death brought me peace. My death was liberation, it was truth. It was terrifying at the start to know that there was nothing and all of this is a hallucination. But eventually I surrendered and went into the void. It sounds depressing that all there is, is nothingness but that is just ego talk. Being conscious of reality and the illusion of reality is the most glorious thing ever. When you’re conscious of reality you realize there are no problems with life and whatever problem there is out there, you just made it up. Everything is perfect right now, it doesn’t get any better than the present moment.

Hmm, how long do you do self inquiry and meditation for? Trying Yoga might help. Yea psychadelics I feel would help you a ton! They really blow your mind up, literally lmao

@Truth Damn, what does your daily practice look like when it comes to consciousness work? Must suck feeling like you plateaued.

Anyone ever try combining psychadelics with Yoga? Or is that a terrible idea? ?

Leo Gura, Sadhguru, Peter Ralston, Eckhart Tolle are the main sources I get my information from.

@Viking If you're able to sometimes focus on your medulla right now, I think with practice you'll get better and will be able to channel it more often. I guess the best thing to do right now is be patient and just try your best to feel out whatever the book tells you to. Hopefully we're able to feel out the subtleness in the chakras and medulla n stuff like that with practice over time.

@Viking Ohhh, I'm not too sure yet to be honest. I'm not far in the book yet, I've only been doing up to Lesson 7 so far. For me personally, whenever I focus on bhrumadhya I get super emotional and it feels tormenting for me as an ego. My body starts shaking up and stuff, I just assumed focusing on bhrumadhya was what you were suppose to do unless he says otherwise later in the book? And thats another thing I found difficult. How do you focus on the medulla? I also assume it is with a lot of practice because I can barely feel the 5 chakras right now because I'm a super noob hahaha

@Viking On page 53, step 5 it says first start off focusing on back of the head then imagine that you are looking forward from the back to the point between the eyebrows. While doing it, you shift your eyes a bit directly upwards but do not strain them.

Another thing I love about kriya yoga is it forces you to be active. When I would meditate it would be so much easier wandering off and losing focus but during Kriya, you do different techniques for different amount of time so I feel more engaged in Kriya yoga than I did with meditation.

@onacloudynight Thanks man!, I was just confused because I just started. It's crazy how fast things start happening with yoga

Hey guys, I just started doing lesson 1-4 in the book on Leo's List. I noticed during the concentration lesson, while focusing on Bhrumadhya my lower spine started to shake uncontrollably. Then my whole body started shaking and I felt like crying but there was no physical pain occurring. Anyone else experience this?

Thanks ! @Charlotte

But isn't attachment neurotic? therefore making romantic love neurotic? So then all love relationships with a partner would be neurotic? doesn't sound right

Mind blown. I did it for 15 minutes, I started losing sensation in my arms and legs and felt a tingling sensation in my forehead. I had an outburst of crying and I just cried but mindfully for around 10 minutes. I felt so much trauma that I've caused to myself and others rise up to the surface. I saw the importance of love better. I realized love is the way. Love is very important, not the neurotic kind but of course unconditional love to everyone. I also saw a better insight of all the manipulations and dirty deeds I do on the daily basis. I saw how I manipulated my ex girlfriend for my needs and how I basically emotionally tormented her. But, that's not to say I need to punish myself, the only way to get better is to do the inner work. I feel more of the need to just die as an ego because when you live a lie, you pay the price. I recommend holotrophic breathing. 10/10.

I feel that, another factor is doing too much too soon. Like the 25 day fast he did with water and all that stuff might have been too dramatic for his psyche to handle. Then homeostasis goes into overdrive and he falls into massive depression and harms himself. Just a theory though, hopefully he is okay.

Hey guys, when someone deceives you like for example manipulates you into doing something or lies to you about something big, how do you react? I still find myself wanting to seek revenge and I know that "seeking revenge" itself is a self deception.

Hey guys, I have had problems bulking lately. I find it hard to get in the calories I need with most healthy foods because the calories are just not enough. So I find myself having to eat junk food to meet my caloric needs daily. But I find myself becoming depressed and anxious when I go this route. What kind of foods do you guys eat when you bulk?

Thanks guys I will put everything into practice!

@Slade I will do this even though milk gives me the runs LOL @d0ornokey Had no idea avocado had that many calories! thanks bro