Willie

@Gianna Well, I won’t take a screenshot of our conversation. But my exact wording was “Is your spouse ok with the stuff you do and the people you see?” because there were a bunch of people at the party she already knew. Also, she said last week that she wanted to meet this week. I’m going to follow up and see if she’s still interested.

Yeah, I know “well, if you have to ask...?”. I’ll go ahead and preface this by saying I apologized twice already. I met a woman at a party on Friday the 13th, and we hit it off well. We’re now friends on a social media site, and her profile says she is married and polyamorous. She gave me her number, and we’ve been texting back and forth. She asked me for my address and said she can‘t have people at her place because of her marriage. Her spouse doesn’t have a profile on the site, she was alone at the party, and I don’t recall seeing a wedding ring (which doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t have one). I’m well-acquainted with the notion of polyamory (I’ve been a unicorn) and I’m fine with everything up to the point where I’d be a dirty secret that causes marital strain. So, along with giving her my address, I asked if her spouse is ok with her doing this. She became defensive. She said I came across as judge-mental, and she isn’t hiding anything. What say y’all?

Here’s a take that won’t get a thread locked:

Ok This is me singing Drive by Incubus (sorry for the phone mic quality). Here are the lyrics: Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear. And I can’t help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer. It’s driven me before and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I’m beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel. Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes, yeah. Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there. And I’ll be there. So if I decide to waiver my chance to be one of the hive, will I choose water over wine, and hold my own and drive? OH, OH!!! It’s driven me before and it seems to be the way that everyone else gets around. But lately I’m beginning to find that when I drive myself my light is found. Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes, yeah. Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there. And I’ll be there. https://voca.ro/16sNdvRUtSQO

Such a polite and orderly robbery...

Cheer up, emo kid! ?

Are you crazy?! That’s not how you start a conversation with anybody! You should start with “Hey, what’s your name?” and build from there. If it replies with Nunya, then you’ve got something interesting!

Well, it helps to be very isolated and have low population density also. But yes, vaccination and wearing masks certainly had an effect. The United States could never be like Iceland, no matter how many people are vaccinated and wearing masks.

Well, I’m pretty good at karaoke...but I’m not sure if it counts. It’s not original material and I’m not playing an instrument. I do have an instrument, but I’m out of practice and not comfortable recording with it.

?

Sounds more like some word vomit Trump would toss out to sound tough. I hope it’s only a grasp at some “good optics” because he has seen his approval slipping. Biden is wise enough not to call off the withdrawal over a few dead Marines.

Cost: millions of people around the world die to a very non-lethal and veeeeeeeery contagious virus. Benefit: I can live my life how I want and not give a fuck. OR I could give a fuck if I wanted. That’s freedom. And freedom ain’t free.

He doesn’t need to screw up, because of... ...all these people who love Trump and hate him already.

bingo

Not clicking on it, but just from reading the link: 1. I agree on not blaming Biden. 2. That mess was started by George Bush, not Donald Trump. 3. That’s just, like, your opinion, maaaaan. (Why do opinions get published in the news so much anyway?)

Too arbitrary and ripe for corrupting into some ideological agenda.

If you publicly call someone out, be ready to back it up when they try to defend themselves. Otherwise, you’re just someone creating unnecessary drama and probably won’t be taken seriously afterward. This is why things like whistleblowing and the #metoo movement are big deals, and probably also why Trump wanted strong libel laws. It’s all different forms of people calling out bad behavior publicly, and those who are called out getting defensive. Cancel culture falls into the same category, but it can be taken too far. It’s easy to make baseless claims about a person on social media platforms. But overall, it’s ethical to do so and it’s good to hold people accountable to things they’ve done.

Alright, the update: It was a success! I was really nervous and jittery at first, taking long, deep breaths to try and calm myself. And then I come to find out through the initial forced conversations that I certainly wasn’t the only socially awkward person there. For a few people, it was their first public kink event since March last year. So it was like being reintroduced to the art of peopling. And hey, some of us aren’t great at that. And that’s ok! It was very liberating to know that it’s a shared experience. I’m used to being in a crowd feeling isolated, but that wasn’t the case here. And as a bonus, I was invited to another party tonight that I previously didn’t know about! So hooray for spontaneity and meeting even more people!

Hi, I’m bad with titles! Or putting my thoughts out into the world, generally. So I usually resist it, and internalize. That means this is a new and different thing for me, and it might be terrible because why would I do something well on the first try? That also means I’m not talkative and am socially awkward. I admit that I’m weird. That’s ok! Nothing weird about being weird, perfectly normal. But I care about how I’m perceived, and most people perceive me as weird. I therefore don’t go out of my way to engage people. I have a shitty defeatist attitude about it, really. People are more receptive to talking with people they can relate to, and I get that. But hardly anybody can relate to me, and vice versa. So, it’s like, why even bother? What is it about people that is so worth my time and effort anyway? Well, life is about living. Having experiences, good and bad, and (hopefully) learning something from them. And through my life, I’ve learned that socializing is a painful and bad thing. Like willingly touching a hot stove. Here’s a simplistic depiction of what I’m on about: That is from a therapy website because I’m about ready to admit it’s a problem that needs correcting. Also, to go along with the shitty defeatist attitude, here’s another simplistic depiction: Not only am I awkward, I am avoidant. I resist talking with people and doing things. It leads to a limited experience of life, which leads to depression. At least, I think that’s how it works. But before I commit my time, effort, and money to admit I need professional help, I want to try this first. So if you’ve read all this, thank you! It was good to get it off of my chest, so to speak. If you feel so inclined, leave a reply and maybe we can make a conversation out of it. That also goes for other posts I add here later on.

I do love me some Carlin clips! He’d probably be glad we’re thinning the herd anyway...

Ok. Well. The past couple weeks for me have been mostly a bad headspace. The defeatist attitude of people not being worth my effort stops me from trying things. There’s a party happening this evening that has potential to either reverse or exacerbate that mindset. I’ve been looking forward to it for awhile, and I’m nervous and excited at the same time. It’s a BDSM party with 20 men and 20 women where male nudity is mandatory. And I think it’s the perfect example of a counter-intuitive move. I’m terrible at meeting new people. I don’t fit stereotypes well, but you get fairly close if you just see me as a stereotypical shy, introverted loner. This party is not something I would do normally. But what better opportunity is there to just be myself and see who connects with that!? There’s nothing complicated about it. Just be open to new experiences. I will update afterward. Hopefully only good news!

Short and sweet. Very nice!

What would thinking without feeling look like? What would feeling without thinking look like?

That was a very interesting conversation to listen too! I remember the thread of suggestions for Leo to go talk on podcasts or have a video talking with someone, and Kastrup’s name came up a few times. I think I know why that is, now.

Hey, if more people are willing to get vaccinated with this method that’s great!