JustThinkingAloud

Maybe imagine how big boobs age, it might cure you!

Decide who you want to be and practice doing it. It’s hard work though, it’s much easier to find the good bits about yourself. Also, there are reasons why you are the way you are, once you try to change it, good things about you might change too. Once you accept yourself, you’ll get more confidence and you’ll open up more. I’d do this before trying to find a girlfriend, it might get quite confusing for her to know who you are.

Maybe you need to make yourself happy again. Do what you enjoy doing to give yourself a boost. You created awesome life before so the skill to create it again is there.

Maybe try to practice the way you want to be. Decide and visualise how you would deal with situations before it happens, it’s much easier that way. Once it does happen then you got a plan to fall back on. It gets a bit too emotional to think on your feet it the middle of it all. You’ll start doing it without thinking about it once you’ve practised enough. I don’t think there’s such a thing as “overthinking”, the only time that it can become a problem is if you’re not getting anywhere and your thoughts keep going in circles. Analyse it, come to a conclusion, test it, correct it if necessary and keep repeating it till you start doing it without even knowing.

I talk myself out it. You’ve created a habit of thinking like that, break the habit, reasons yourself out it. Also, the anxiety comes from something that happened in the past or you scared that something will happen in the future. Explore it, find exactly what thoughts are triggering it the most to understand where it comes from so you can deal with it.

I love this. You don’t have to go big on your passion, start with small steps first and see where it leads.

What about trying it first. Take couple of months off and do it the way you want to do it. You won’t need that much money and it will give you more confidence that it’s what you really want.

I make notes to help me summarise the topic to make more generalised views. It also helps to put it in your own words, make your own connections. I was told that involving all senses helps a lot when trying to memorise (sorry, I don’t remember the source). So writing the notes, reading out loud, doing exercises, visualising how you would apply the new information etc. Repetition works too but it’s much more effective when you emotionally connect to it, eg you enjoy what you’re learning. I wouldn’t memorise too many details, it can clutter the mind.

I’m full Czech, I was born there. I left when I was 18 to escape my family, now I live in Australia. I couldn't go any further away from them! Interpol still found me though. Maybe I should've tried Antarctica but that could be a bit lonely.

What about this option? You can compensate him once you have enough money. Just an idea, would it be wrong? I think it might be ok.

Please ignore me if it’s not what you want hear. I don’t think that looks matter when you want a long term relationship. We all age and become “ugly”, if you love that person, it doesn’t matter, the attraction is still there. Turn off the lights! haha If you struggle with that as at this moment there’s still too much focus on looks. The best chance of finding someone is to go for your “league”.

Maybe find places where people like that would go. Seminars, courses etc.

I’m so sorry that this happened to you, it sucks to be deceived into doing something that you would never do! Unfortunately, you can’t change the past, it’ll always be with you, you can’t magically erase it. So why not to try to numb the experience or try to talk yourself out of your emotions. It did happen, you can’t change it, it sucks, oh well, don’t let it affect the rest of your life and take even more of your happiness away. You know that it won’t happen to you again, you’ll watch every girl like a hawk now! Share your experience, help others to know how to tell that a girl is transgender. Maybe those girls don't have other choice than to deceive. If you had to choose between having sex or deception, what would you choose? Or invest your time into inventing a time machine and change the past! I now it sounds like I’m making a joke, I’m not, it’s another option, it’s all up to you! You the one in charge of your life and sometimes things happen that we don’t like and can’t change, don’t let it destroy even more of your life than it already did.

Smoking! I’m down to 2 to 3 cigarettes a day from 60 a day. It’s bloody hard work! I’ve tried using will power but it didn’t work, I went “nuclear” and put myself off trying. Now, I’m using persuasion and I’m nearly there.

We are all unique and create unique habits and perceptions. You’ve let yourself be like that so you became like that. The question is whether it’s ok by you. If you want to change it, you can. If you don’t want to change, that’s completely fine too.

Try to find the reasons why you got hurt and that will make it easier to prevent being hurt again. Learn the lesson and have an action plan to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. You will still have the fear to remind you to be careful, take step at a time and learn how to avoid being hurt again. The fear will eventually go away once you learn better way of doing things.

You really need to want whatever your main goal is. It needs to feel good, just thinking about getting it should spark great feelings. Also, it’s not just all happy actions to get there, sometimes you have to do what you don’t like doing to get there so you need to focus on your main goal and use that great feeling to give you the motivation to get through it. Sometimes, when we’re not having any progress towards the goal, we can start questioning whether it’s all worth it. Find things to do that put you closer to your goal and celebrate every progress towards it, it will help to motivate you too. Of course, if you need a break, do it. Use it to review what you want and how to go about getting it. Good luck!

Do something about it! It’s not right what they’re doing! That’s bullying. Keep trying to fix it or leave. You might not be able to fix it right away but you’ll get better at it with experience. Try asking questions like: What is your problem? What’s wrong with what I’m doing? What have I done to you? Or even stating: I’ve heard that. That’s wrong what you’re doing. Mind your own business. Get over it. That’s not your problem what I’m doing. Every little bit counts, you'll eventually get there. Environment like this is not good for you. Not that you should care what they think, it’s all wrong what they are saying but it’s hard to constantly ignore this negativity, you have better things to do with your energy. Just make sure you don’t ever step down to their level but you still have to do something. People like that shouldn’t get away with it, that’s wrong! I wouldn’t really care why they’re doing it, it’s hard to understand mean people.

I’d give Biology a go, just make sure that it’s really what you want. You won’t lose the years you studied English, the knowledge will stay with you and you still have your Masters. You can still use that in case things won’t work out with Biology.

If you expect the “reality” to give you life purpose, you need to dream “realistic” goals or at least “realistic” steps towards that goal so you get some satisfaction. I believe that doing what makes you and other people happy is our life purpose. You get motivation to become great at it and other people get what makes them happy and even pay you for it. You make the world happier place. I’ll never stop trying, if I get there great, if I don’t at least I know I’ve done my best and probably helped someone else to be great or continue from where I finished. Once you give up, that’s it, you remove your chances of getting what you want.

Pushing myself doesn’t work for me. I find a way that makes me want to do things. I focus on the final result that I really want that makes me want to do even what I don’t like doing. It’s also a good double check that what I’m doing is productive and leads to getting what I want. I also create a daily/weekly etc routine, that way I don’t have to think what to do next or whether I have done enough. It keeps it more balanced and less emotional.

Deal with your thoughts and emotions beforehand. Imagine any situation you could be facing and find a solution how to deal with it before it actually happens. This way you’ll be prepared and will know what to do when it actually does happen. It takes practice as everything but it can help quite a lot.

I don’t think truth and happiness are mutually exclusive. You can have both if you want to. You’re the one in control of your happiness. We can be quite resilient when we want to. In any situation, we can always find some happiness or hope. Of course, it’s much easier to be happy when we actually get what we want. So if it’s the truth you want, the natural reaction is to get happy when you find it or get closer because you got or are closer to what you wanted. With fulfilment, it depends how high your goal is. If you just want to find the ultimate truth, you might not ever get fulfilment. But there’s still a way around it, appreciate progress, every step closer to the ultimate truth is a sign that you’re getting there and a proof that you’re on the right track and you can make that fulfilling too. Progress is great because it makes you closer to your goal. Personally, if I had to choose, I choose truth because I can’t be genuinely happy without it. Things get quite confusing and unpredictable without knowing the truth.

There’s another possibility. Actions speak much louder than words. He still wants to be with you. He could be just scared of the attachment while he still wants to stay. Why else he’s still with you? He did say he doesn’t like the attachment, he didn’t say he doesn’t like you. As you said, he has an issue which might be related from his upbringing. I think it’ll be very hard to get a commitment out of him but is it really that important. There’s no guarantees when it comes to the future, so many men “commit” and don’t deliver. Is it really that bad to not “commit” but deliver. But of course, be careful and make sure that his actions do show love.

Missing someone that you love when they’re not around is completely fine. Would you really love them if you were happy that they’re not around? Being completely hopeless when they’re not around might be a sign of a problem.