reves

@Jake Chambers OMG I am deeply sorry you are transitioning soon. I cannot even comprehend what you are going through. I used to spend time with cancer patients at a hospital. Just being there with them, expending time with them during chemotherapy or so. Sometimes one will just pass away during the therapy and others would follow. It was devastating but also one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. I love the Dark Tower series, its one of my all time favorites. I hope you find Roland and the Dark Tower! All the best!

I think it would be great to have a place that we can trust to share sources, which could be the case of actualized.org. But I also think that we are not that mature yet as a global society and it could cause more harm than good and also probably cause troubles to actualized.org and Leo.

Interesting! Sounds like the Pomodoro technique taken to the next level. I wonder, what kind of yoga are you doing? How long? Cheers.

Hi @Leo Gura thanks for the update! Nice to know you found the cause of your illness and I hope yo can find a solution soon. Would it be possible to find some sort of middle point for you? Like publishing videos less often? Or getting more support from the patreons or something like that. I was actually relived when you decide to take the break, trying to follow the teachings in every video you publish takes a lot of time and effort and I have not even been able to catch up with all the material you have published. I would not mind if you publish less often, or even if you take longer breaks, after all it is better to have quality content/teachings.

The Dark Tower Series by Stephen King.

I find L-Theanine very subtle, 200 mg is the sweet-spot for me, more than that will give me a headache.

I would suggest 100 mcg first, start slow you can always increase the dosage later. Get to know the substance first, before you try higher doses. LSD is similar but not the same as magic mushrooms, it also last longer so in case you into a bad trip the hell will last longer. I have had some pretty scary trips at 200 mcg, but every one is different, that is why it is important to get to know the substance first and find the right dose for you. I would not go out to nature or sit in darkness if it is the first time I try a new psychedelic. It is better to stay in a safe place, you can try to relax and contemplate, drink some ginger tea or something. Good luck!

You can find a lot of information about Kriya Yoga in its mega-thread. I have been doing it daily for more than two years now and I haven't had any problems. I really like it, for me it is like micro dosing psychedelics and I feel very a lot of energy. But everyone is different, so the only way to really know is trying it!

It should not be illegal to buy a test kit, but you gotta do your own research. Safer in Night is a polish organization that sells all kind of test kits in Europe, I got one for LSD and has worked so far. Best luck!

This is the report of my last trip with LSD on May 22th of 2020. It was a very intense, somehow "bad tripping" experience and it has taken me some more effort than the normal to process all I went through. Here are some of the most interesting aspects, I how you enjoy reading it! Medicine: 175 ug of 1p-LSD Intention - What is God? - What is a Miracle? - What is my purpose in this life? - What is Telepathy? How does it works? The Trip I made some Kriya Yoga for an hour and at the end I took the medicine around 9:00 am. I started to feel the effects around 40 minutes after taking the medicine. I was sitting in the kitchen, as I was drinking some ginger tea I had a powerful mystical experience. The whole day was raining, however the room suddenly was very radiant full of light, I started to get very strong visual effects and as I was looking at both of my hands the illusion of self, of being apart from everything just dropped. Everything was pure white light around me, I could not see anything else. I was as if I had imploded, I became pure radiating Love. It was so miraculous being so present everywhere and anywhere, Absolute Infinity. Everything made perfect sense during that moment, as I realized that the present moment was everything that ever was, that ever will be and that ever is, that I AM. I cried because of this realization, that God is Infinite Creativity, Infinite Love, its Everything and its ME. No words make justice to describe the indescribable. As I started to feel the effects of the medicine getting stronger, I went to the room to lie down on the bed. And then it hit me like a train at full speed. It was as if I got connected to a stream and I started to get all kind of epiphanies and realizations, as if somebody was talking direct to me. At one moment it said: "Call me however you want to call me, God, Father, Consciousness, you know who I am, you have always known who I AM." It was as if I got connected to a second order level of consciousness where everything made perfect sense, I could see what I have done in past lives, what I was meant to do during this life and what I would do in future lives. It was more like remembering who I am and remembering all this stuff. At one moment I saw as I where a huge energy tree and that with every "trip" I am sort of building some sort of bridge between the dimension of reality I am used to and other new dimensions I am getting to know. And that somehow this was something very important I had to do during this lifetime. I could not tell the difference between having the eyes open or closed, between imagining something or the reality as I am used to be. This, together with the connection with the stream of messages with the Higher Consciousness started to freak me out. I started to think that I was really losing, but I also got scared because I would not know the difference if I was imagining jumping out of the window or doing it for real. And as I was tripping alone (even though this was not the first time) I just could not calm myself down. It was as something was wrong, or something could go really wrong if I just let go, and my ego was resisting very hard. As I could get lost in a Strange Loop and become crazy mad. I did everything I know to try to calm me down, but realizing that everything is a dream, an illusion was something that my ego was not being able to accept very easy as I experiencing during the trip. So I called a friend, just to get the illusion of being in control and doing something I am used to do, and to get the illusion of other. We talked for 20/30 minutes and I managed to calm down. I was moving in the room as I was talking but I could not feel the body. I was seeing like a bubble of consciousness moving with me, but outside of this bubble everything was just nothing, pure Nothingness. The most interesting thing however, is that as we where talking on the phone, I realized like on a meta-level that I was creating the whole thing in real-time, the illusion of me being in panic, the illusion of other (this friend), the mobile phones and telecommunication systems, the room, the floor, every fucking thing I AM! After this call I could calm down a little and continue tripping, I also realized that I had barely hit the two hour mark and that I had a long hard trip before me. As I could not completely let go of the illusion of fear, I lied on the floor, and tried to remain in an open position. I had all kind of crazy visions, like seeing at my hands and having like twenty fingers on each one. I realized how I project my shadow on external things, and how until that moment I was always "thinking" that something external is the source of this shadow. It was as if I could turn around and see me completely as I am, with all the fears and things that I can not accept about myself. Later after seven or perhaps eight hours of experiencing madness the ego started to reassembly more and I ate something and went for a walk in the forest. This helped me start recounting the trip and release all a lot of energy. Finally, on the evening night I was able to sit down very peacefully and in total surrender, for two hours or so. Conclusions In retrospective, I see that my ego was generating all of this fear and resistance and that: I should probably had to go deeper into this madness. However, I just could not do it during that moment, it felt so hard to let go. And this is fine, something you are able to push through but sometimes it is better to hold on. This only gives me the courage to keep on doing this work. It also allowed me to accept me more as I am, to be more genuine with myself and with what I really want to be. I already had some glimpses to realize that everything is a dream, but this is by far the most direct experience I have had into the Truth. It is possible to communicate with God, in fact we are always doing this because we are all One and we are all God. It is true that every awakening is always the greatest awakening, because we are always expanding more and more, forever infinitely. Being able to realize the Truth is not always the sweetest of thing you will experience, but it is every moment of pain and craziness worth it! As always thanks to the great community of Actualized.org and @Leo Gura for his great teachings and amazing content! Thanks for reading and for the comments!

Yes I like to do Hatha/Yin Yoga or maybe just going for a walk before Kriya Yoga its really worth doing. It also help to get the body relaxed and fit to sit for longer periods, I am also able to concentrate easier when I do it.

@Leo Gura Hi thanks, yes I went right to the edge I see that the more I trip the less dosage I need, I will definitely lower the dose next time. I was thinking on doing some low dose trips with mushrooms maybe, to integrate this huge trip. What do you think about that? Thanks!! @Corpus yes, you have to be very careful when tripping alone. I knew I was freaking out, but had no desire to jump ot of the window or something like that. I was able to remain just sitting/laying down on the floor. But I have been increasing the dose very carefully and I do other practices like meditation, kriya yoga, contemplation etc.. @Kingston Wow 600 ug, that is way to much for me, but hey, I get the part about the ontological orgasm its awesome!

@Gneh Onebar thanks! 100 ug are already breakthrough territory for me. But I have been working with 150-200 ug ranges and I have started to see that it is too much

Yes start slow, you can always increase the dose, you can ask around all you want, but everyone is different and you have to find how different doses work for you. And if you with a high dose you can get scared and never want to try a psychedelic again. It is also true that LSD last very long, so in case get into a "bad trip" you will have to be willing to go through the whole trip, which can get very confusing and scary. Best luck!

@StarStruck Not really, it does not feel as I can swallow it at any moment. It just get more flexible. But it is also not that important. Yo can practice KP by just rising the tongue as much as you can, I think some books call it baby Khechari. Don't get to fixed on doing "perfect" forms, they are already perfect as you do it, just keep on doing it.

OMG i would never cut the tongue to achieve more flexibility. I started doing the exercises to get more flexibility (described in most of the books) and after six months of doing it every day it has been enough to do Khechira without to much effort and reach the top of the mouth. After a year I can reach the top of the mouth almost effortlessly. I just clean wash my mouth before I do Kriya Yoga and that is it.

I like Yin Yoga, normally you stay at one position for 5 minutes and it allows you to be in a meditative flow.

I will try this, I though that because this substance is orally active, it will make no sense to plug it. But I see I was just making assumptions, thanks a lot!

Great trip report, thanks for sharing it! Looks like it was a very intense trip. I have made some trips with 4-HO-MET but all orally, and by far not so intense. Have you tried orally? Can tell the difference? Is it much more intense plugged? Thanks!

Goodspeed Kilindi! Found all of his videos very inspiring.

Nils Frahm - All Armed: I really like all the music from Nils Frahm, he has some good ones, specially for tripping. New York - Mad Rush

@lostmedstudent Thanks! Yes I updated the trip report and added the intentions. I have been tripping with the specific intention to understand why am I so afraid of tripping. Yes, not like I am afraid of dying on the everyday life, but this fear and/or resistance appears specially when I am trying to do a practice like meditation, contemplation, and specially psychedelic tripping.

Some Background I have been doing Kriya Yoga since the beginning of 2019 and also started working with psychedelics last year, and a steady-daily meditation practice for more than two years now. I also like to do some other practices like Hatha and Yin Yoga. I had some powerful awakenings in previous trips, but this one is the biggest/deepest one yet I have experienced. For a couple of months now, I incorporated Yoga Fire technique to my Kriya Yoga practice. Since then I also started to notice an increase in energy I feel, I also started listening the sound of Om and the Chakras more intensively and feel as if some energy is building-up at the top of the head. The Trip Medicine: 200 ug of 1P-LSD Intention: What is God? What is Death? Why am I so afraid of tripping? I made all the preparations and took the medicine around 7:30 on an empty stomach. Normally I have to wait about an hour to start feeling the effects of LSD, but this time I started to feel the come-up after 30 minutes. During the first moments it felt as if a lot of energy was moving through body sort of rewiring it. After some trips I can start to realize how this process is rewiring, like upgrading my body. I then started to get in sort of a mystical state. With almost no effort, the illusion of being a separate being from the world would rapidly fade, everything would start to become Luminous Emptiness, the white energy of Absolute Love. For a moment it was as if I could see outside the bubble of reality of my small-self, only the things that where around my field of view where in existence and everything outside this bubble was just nothing, just pure white energy. It was a state of consciousness I have never reached before, I felt infinite, total, loved, there was no time. And suddenly I had this very powerful mystical experience, as I was laying down concentrated looking at my finger tips. It was the first time that I could intentionally let go of the illusion of self. Little by little the sensations experienced by my body started to fade away, as I started getting dissolved in the great sea of Nothingness, as this was happening I felt complete, surrounded by unconditional Love. At one moment I was no more, I don't have the words to describe this experience. It felt as if I was returning home, a sensation of Completeness, Absolute Love, Compassion, Infinity, Total Serenity. And then little by little, just as it started the illusion of my small self started to form again in front of my eyes, as I was being reborn. I already had these sort of Samadhi experiences in the past, but this was the first time I could stay so long and so conscious in this state, being able to contemplate so deep as never before. It has never been so easy for me to tear the illusion of Maya. After every awakening, I also realized how I am getting more conscious, is like the field of awareness keeps expanding. I got some powerful visions, but deep inside I knew that it was all an illusion. After a couple of hours on this God-mode I got some ego-backslash, I felt a strong need to get grounded on the illusion of reality I am normally used to be. It can be very shocking and frightening when the reality starts to melt in front of you and when you realize that the idea you have of the world and yourself is false and then you awaken to your real Self. It was as I suddenly wanted to forget everything I just had seen but, that what has been seen cannot be unseen. This made me realize why I always find it so hard to do the work, the ego finds always excuses to postpone tripping. It is because with every trip the illusion of what I think I am has to die in order to awaken to the true Self. Its like a sacrifice where we offer the illusion of oneself. But it also feels great, awesome to awaken to the true Self. It feels more real, is just Being Truth. It was also the first time I stopped being afraid of dying. I have never felt like this on psychedelics before, it was as if some line of code would suddenly be erased in the mind and I became fearless. The psychedelic also showed me for the first time with so much clarity some of my shadows. At that moment I realized that they are just false ideas projected on to something/someone. Conclusions and Questions With every trip I feel as if I am getting aligned with a higher consciousness. I understood and felt the dangers of this work, as I suddenly became so fearless. With every trip I feel more and more committed to this work. I love getting mind-fucked, I love remembering my true Identity. I love all the insights I get. It also makes me appreciate everything more deeply, every moment of life. Does anybody can also hear/feel the Om and the Chakras? Is this like some sort of Kundalini awakening? I would be very grateful if you can point me in the right direction where I can find more information about this. As always, thanks you so much for reading this post. Thanks to @Leo Gura for his amazing teachings and to all the great community of actualized.org! Namaste.

@billiesimon Thanks! So far 4-AcO-DMT, 4-HO-MET and 1P-LSD