SQAAD

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Everything posted by SQAAD

  1. @UDT Are you serious? I dont wanna fuck women nor do i care about being an alpha male chimp.
  2. At 8 minutes and 30 seconds of this video, Leo talks about existing as every single possible decision point of his life simultaneously. Leo is this still valid? Or not? Do i exist as every single possibility of my life? This is EPIC if it is the case and implies Parallel Universes i guess.
  3. @ajasatya Thanks ,i will have to contemplate that one. Anyways most people are screwed mentally. If someone finds my physical appearance funny i can't change that. I just want to not care about idiots like that.
  4. So i have been hearing from Leo how people have a self-image. Even a Spiritual self-image. And i get the sense like this has some sort of negative connotation from the way Leo talks about it. Is it wrong to have a self-image? What self-image "Should' we have? I'm confused... Can anyone give an explanation? - Thanks .
  5. @Leo Gura Thanks for your time. I am willing to surrender to be honest. I am tired already of my egoic problems. So much delusion, pain and suffering.
  6. @Preetom Why is it a fallacy? Why can't i as God create whatever i want? That fantasy of mine lets say. I also watch Rupert Spira. But i am tired of theory already. Can't understand these things with theory. Need some more awakening experiences. Gotta buy shrooms again i guess.
  7. @Leo Gura So much goddamn work Leo. If i was God (i don't say that i am not) i would first & firemost know that i am God and then create whatever i want for myself. Total Paradise. I would be in a beach alone with 100.000 beautiful women, whatever food & luxury i wanted & that's it. Why God is such a masochist? That fantasy of mine could be theoretically accomplished by a God who has Infinite power at his disposal. It sucks being God but not feeling like you are one lol. It sucks dreaming realities without knowing that you are doing so. So much suffering for nothing.
  8. @Leo Gura What self-image do you have Leo? Is it even possible to Not have a self-image?
  9. @Serotoninluv It was the latter. I knew it conceptually BUT still i couldn't disidentify with my thoughts & emotions. Mind started getting anxious & thinking things like "what if there is something wrong w/ me etc.". Very annoying. I just wanted to get revenge on this guy so maybe i can get rid of the awful feelings. Very irrational i know. I don't like getting doubtful about myself because of others.
  10. @Shin Nice. What's the main difference between loving kindness meditation & the long meditation? Also what technique do you use in general? I just observe the breath .
  11. How much do you meditate per day?
  12. @Shin Thanks for the support man!! Life is hard for everybody.
  13. @Shin First time i started to do Nofap was close to an year ago. At my first attempts i failed after the 2-week mark. Then my best streak was 51 days.I was on top of the world! Then i had a massive ego backlash that lasted for at least a couple of months . 2 steps forward and 3-4 steps backwards it was really lol.
  14. Days 25-26: Terrible, extremely bad anxiety and a lot of energy wasted on stupid compulsions. Almost masturbated. I am on the brink of quitting tbh...
  15. Some redpill people & others say that low self esteem is irreparable after a certain threshold but i can't find the reason Why? What's your opinion about that? Is it true? Personally i dislike these kind of absolute statements & it caused me anxiety.
  16. Today i didn't manage to be compulsion-free & started reading some articles/studies regarding OCD (i wish i didn't do that ). I stumbled across terrible news for my ego. Basically what i found is that OCD sufferers have impairments in learning ,memory & attention. That came as a complete shock & huge dissapointment to me because i always believed that i had increased concentration compared to others... Anyways now i am dealing with terrible anxiety & "negative" thoughts regarding these scientific findings. I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor yet to be OCD but i definetely believe that i am OCD, although my compulsions are generally mild. Any advice would be highly appreciated. It seems the more i know the worst for my ego. Does any of you who struggle with OCD have difficulty learning & remembering things? Personally i don't believe to have this issue but maybe im just deluded according to science... I don't know what to believe anymore....
  17. @Shin Thank you for the advice. Yes i meditate 30 mins a day. Will defininetely increase it as time passes on.
  18. Day 20: I had a dry dream in the morning having sex with a beautiful blonde. Didn't ejaculate. Days 21-23: Increased Memory & also i am studying 2 hours more. Day 24:Today was a very bad day for my psychologically. Strong ego backlash came into being. Wanted badly to masturbate so i can cope with my issues. The thought that i will deepy regret it afterwards, and the profounds benefits i gain, prevented me from doing it. .
  19. @oMarcos My main purpose is to become the best version of myself, to reach a peak. Also i want to achieve something that most men have never achieved. I don't know anyone close to me who has remained abstinent from sex & masturbation alltogether not even for 2 months. I wanna challenge myself and see what happens to me as time passes one. It's also an experiment for me. If i am able to conquer the sexual desire (at least for a year) then i can conquer anything else!!
  20. @Good-boy One year is enough for me and what i am trying to accomplish. For self mastery is not enough, yes i agree.
  21. Ok so God reincarnates until it reaches nirvana, then gets bored & repeats.Plus every child of God will finally reach nirvana. Now my question is as follow: Lets say i am the child that reaches Nirvana first. And Hitler at the same time is struggling to reach Nirvana as well. So while I have finally reached Nirvana, at the same time i am Hitler strugglng to reach Nirvana? Hope this makes sense.... @Leo Gura
  22. @Anderz If everything is happening in the now moment then "the future" is already being experienced simultaneously with the "past". Time doesn't exist. Consciousness doesn't need to obey the arrow of time. The numbers that already have been counted didn't go anywhere. They still exist in the now. Everything (past & future) already exists all at once. Infinity just is. Everything has already happened in a sense. That's my understanding so far. Maybe i'm wrong.
  23. @Anderz Yes maybe... But at the same time (assuming there in only Now & everything happens simultaneously) you are already living in the past, future & "present" at the SAME EXACT "Time" of every possible configuration of life.
  24. @Inliytened1 I always thought that there was no plan, no purpose. Even Martin Ball who has taken crazy amounts of 5-MeO supported this claim in his interview with @Leo Gura Is Martin Ball full of s**t then? I'm confused...