SQAAD

@TheAvatarState Thank you for the advice! I mostly feel shame because of others (my sis for example). I can see it in her face that she hasn't forgotten me for this incident. We are ok, i asked her sorry but we never discussed it any further. I caused her embarassment. I can't do the work for her. I have forgotten myself. She hasn't. Yes it was stupid to take too much acid at home. It was my first time and only time. I didn't expect to get so fked up. My reality changed completely. It was so crazy... I took large doses of mushrooms many times before and never lost all sense of reality like it happened with LSD lol.

Thanks for sharing. I needed to read this.

@RobertZ Why is lost esteem irreparable? I don't understand...

@John Iverson

@Elisabeth From what i can remember, my sister took a different shape than the ordinary & i don't think i even realised she was my sister at that moment.(maybe i did though). I couldn't distinguish anything. "Reality" didn't make sense to me anymore. Crazy. Mind-blowing it was.

@John Iverson I have done quite a lot of contemplation & i can't find the part of me that would want to have sex with my sister. I guess i have to dig deeper. Also i have accepted/dealt with what happened.

@Salvijus Did you buy any of his courses in order to learn yoga? How did you learn it? I wanna try it.

@DrewNows Yes it is very tricky. To this day i hold the belief that everything someone does it's because it will make them feel happy first & then the others. For example you might be doing charity work but you do it because first & foremost it will make you happy otherwise you wouldn't do it. I don't know if this belief is true of false but my minds holds it as a dogma. I don't even know if true love is possible from the place of the ego.

@DrewNows Nice. Are you able to understand/distinguish nowadays when someone is doing something out of love for you? Btw now i am on a mission as to understanding what love is. This video inspired, frightned me & caused my ego to revaluate many things. It' very true what Teal Swan says that most of us don't know what love is & therefore we are not truly capable of loving others.

@DrewNows Nice video but she didn't clarify how do you distinguish getting love from someone as opposed to someone just being egotistical. I am all about receiving love but first i need to spot it.

@Zigzag Idiot Thanks man! Finally someone reads my whole post & replies with compassion and understanding.

@now is forever I totally agree with you. Nor did i say the hallucinations were true (in case you imply that),

@Shadowraix Maybe that's it . I don't know . I remember having crazy "delusions" while tripping.

@Shadowraix Only once i had this problem (privacy about drugs etc). Nobody bothers me in my room.

@SFRL Personally my father is never at home. & my mom works most of the day. She takes care of myself & doesn't want to be alone at home & girlfriends is something i despise. Leaving my family to live with another family (gf,kids)? No. There is no reason to torture myself just yet. You have your own standards & i respect that but not everyone can be like you.

@SFRL Find my Life Purpose & be financially independent.

@SFRL I don't care about getting laid at least for this year. If i was to be living alone at this moment of my life i wouldn't have much time for self-developing because i would be constantly worried /working on my survival. Either way one day i will be forced to live alone but for now i take advantage of the situtation. I believe i am self-developing at my own pace. I understand your point of view though. Being able to survive & take care of yourself is very very important & definetely one day i want to be on my own but i don't see the reason to hurry. Nor do i want to find girls. If i was to live alone i would probably rent a small hole that i would be embarassed to invite someone or a chick inside. I don't know where you live. Here in Greece most people my age & older live with their parents. It's not an excuse though.You can survive on your own but it is extremely hard for most people when they barely get their needs met.

@SFRL Why not? I spend less money this way. I don't have to worry about cooking or washing my clothes. Plus i enjoy hanging out with my mother.

@SFRL No but i had plenty of sex before this incident.

When i go outside for a walk & a girl doesn't even notice me/look at me many times i get annoyed & pissed off. It happens only with women i find attractive. Why do i get annoyed so much? & What can i do to stop caring? -Thanks.

@John Iverson I have dealt with it. Maybe not enough though. I just want to understand why did i do it. I have accepted it now. But i am curious.

@David Hammond I have done it. They all said that they made tattos of symbols that mean a lot to them. Still though i couldn't penetrate more deeply as to Why they did it...

@Farnaby I do the above you said a LOT & definetely i have to stop it. I try to stop it but it's very very powerful to resist. Sometimes i am succesful at it, other times i give in the ruminations/compulsions... Thanks.

@Salvijus Do you have any source you can link so that i can visit & learn an effective form of yoga that will help me with my sexual abstinence/nofap journey? I see many things on the internet that i don't trust (Too many videos/articles).

@jbram2002 I agree & that's why i want to understand why they do it. (tattoos)