SQAAD

@torgeir Yes it is true that people get tired of the bs that goes on with addiction. But trust me , if drug addicts had all the resources in the world, they would probably never quit, not in a million years. If they had all the money in the world, they would die with a needle in their arms or a bong of meth in their mouth. Everything that is pleasurable leads to you wanting it more and more. This is why the solution is to let go of it eventually. Doing the pleasurable activity over and over again only helps in the sense that it produces tons of suffering which motivates you even more to wanna let it go.

Obviously because they are not eating enough.. But why aren't they eating enought? I don't get it.. What is the Psychology behind it?? It's mind boggling to me. Because it seems so counter-intuitive not to do something that is pleasurable.

@roopepa You made some good questions and points. Actually there is an underlying belief behind all of this. I have this belief that ''if i don't check X and control it as much as possible then something bad will happen''.

@Nahm This is impressive. The fear is created by us but it represents something that could or not happen. Thats why it is hard not to take fear seriously... If someone was pointing at me with a gun it would be hard not to fear at that moment. He might or not pull that trigger. I am creating a fear at that moment but it is hard not to. The same analogy applies to everyday life situations.

This is 'real' hardcore science right there. This guy creates legal high. But he always tests them on himself before 'publishing' them on the market lol. Thats hardcore stuff. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0NRsaPmVX8

@Nahm The ''i don't know'' part is very difficult for me because i am an obssesive type of person who gets laser focused and stucks on the details. Dealing with uncertainty can be difficult at times bc you wanna make sure nothing bad will happen.. The ego-mind wants to control every possible variable as much as it can. It makes some sense why we don't deal well with uncertainty. Because 20.000 years ago if you had uncertainty about something you heard on the forrest you would probably check and avoid getting eaten alive by some tiger. Lol. This is why i think suffering is a necessary evil. A double-edged sword. My number one goal is mental fitness. So this is why navigating with all these mental obstacles is very important for me. I would like to know how you personally deal with severe fear. You just ignore it? Just recognize it for what it is? Whats your process ?

@Nahm No you don't sound critical. You sound helpful and have good intentions behind what you post. Thank you for the advice :-)

@Nahm I think the fear is in regard mostly with the future for me. There is always a possibility of going through some experiences that you don't wanna go through. There are some possibilities like getting severe brain damage, getting dementia or cancer etc that seems too terrible. You can never say ''oh that won't happen to me''. And its hard to say even ''oh its just a thought''. Yes it is that but that thought symbolises smthing which could happen to you. The challenge of fear and life is that the thing you fear may happen to you. For me what arises usually is a thought of some future scenario accompanied with some terrible terrible feeling in my throat. When i get this terrible feeling its hard for me to continue doing my normal activities. I can do them but its a struggle at times, especially when the fear is 10/10. Luckily i don't fuel the fear by ruminating on it. But when i do stupid sh*t the fear can't be avoided. When i am drinking lots of coffee and sleep few hours, i fear about my health for example. And for good reason, because sometimes i get some terrible sensations in my head tha feel like some sort of brain damage. Lol. All my main fears are concerned around the brain for some reason. I fear more losing my mind and its capabilities rather than getting some other terrible disease. Fear is a good mechanism. But it creates tons of suffering. Thats why it works getting your attention. Anyones life can become miserable in an instant. Lastly my direct experience of past, is all the past memories. I believe past exists. It doesn't exist right now but it has existed before.

@Iesu Sure buddy, whatever you say. I am not your dog & Nice projection there. What you said here, i could say exactly the same thing for you. Probably you must be 12 year old posting something like this. Go watch some gore content and lets see how healthy you will be.

I don't understand this part.. Why do you translate fear this way? I don't agree with that. I can fear losing my house. Yes Its a thought. But this thought could be actualized in the near future. I could also fear losing my mind, and this could also happen and i might end up retarded or in an insane asylym forever. By my mind i mean ''the intelligent and smooth way my thoughts patterns, processing speed, understanding and etc work together in harmony''. In this moment depression is a thought. But when i experienced it, it was not just a thought. It was a terrible terrible terrible state to be in. @Nahm

@Nahm That is a good point. I agree with you.

@DecemberFlower 1 year ago i wanted to trip hard. So i bought some LSA capsules from a headshop. The owner of the shop recommended me to combine the capsules with Syrian Rue (MAIO) for stronger effect. I just did a little bit of research, didn't find any good information and decided to combine the two. At the beginning i took 4 capsules of LSA and a teaspoon of Syrian rue. Then afterwards i had one of the best trips of my life. Very increased Consciousness. It suddenly became apparent to me that this is God. Everything became recontextualized. The state i was in was so good and beautiful, that i didn't want it to end. So i took another 4 capsules after few hours. Big mistake. For like 2-3 days afterwards straight i was high.. Or at least i was thinking that i was high. I am not sure at this point. But for like 2 days straight i couldn't sleep and was in a mystical state where my reality had dramatically shifted. It seems my neurotransmitters were out of balance. Then after 2 days of no sleep and constantly feeling high and enlightned i began losing my mind. I just wanted things to return to normal. I couldn't take it any more. The fear started hitting me. The hopelessness. The meaningless of God. And my mind began deteriorating very rapidly to the point where i lost my mind and had to be sent for psychiatric treament. I stayed in a psychiatric hospital for 3 weeks. They put me on antipsychotic medications which caused me to experience memory issues. My memory has always been my greatest strength. And suddenly i would forget what i wanted to say mid-sentence. When i came off the medications (my memory eventually returned to normal) but my brain chemistry was still all messed up. I had to suffer through a horrible depression that i've never felt before for 2-3 weeks straight. NOTHING would end the depression. Imagine that i couldn't even watch a youtube video for 5 minutes straight because i would get bored and depressed out of my mind. Nothing could make me interested or excited. Not even walking would provide any relief. It was pure torture. Depression is no joke. I now have empathy for those are clinically depressed. Its one of the worst things. They wanted me to take these antipsychotic drugs for like 4 months straight. But i realised immediately how dangerous these pharmaceuticals are and after i was released from the hospital i began tapering off . Sure some people need them. But trust they are really really dangerous. You feel your mind slowly eroding when taking them. Until that point i never knew what depression was. I am leaving many many details but basically this stupid mistake costed me a LOT of suffering and pain for several months afterwards. The worst experience of my life ever by far.

@lmfao Fair only because of Oneness. Other than that its a series of dreams and nightmares. Some of which make no sense whatsoever.

@Scholar I love what you said here. Very nice and poetic.

@Nahm My point is that Reality is hellish for a lot of people. It's not just a thought or a belief. Its reality. Its brutal. Its horrifically brutal. I would love it to be otherwise but i have to be honest with myself. I can't fake that everything is good when peoples limbs are being chopped off at Mexico right this very moment and all this barbaric stuff is happening all around us.

@Nahm Why do you say that? Because i am complaining about how reality is?

I have been meditating for the last 5 years on and off (mostly on) and i was in the same situation like you. I've read articles, watched several videos, etc and was feeling very confused at times about what meditation really is... The last year i have been meditating consistently. I regard myself as an intermediary level meditaror who can enter into meditative states with not much thinking or monkey mind involved. Nowadays i really enjoy meditation. Its like a drug for me. My advice to you is: Do not overcomplicate. Just find a technique, test it out and see if you enjoy it. Personally my favourite technique is just observing my breath and the space between thoughts and sensations. When your mind starts thinking , just bring it gently into the present moment, focusing on the object you wanna focus. But remember, meditation is not just a focus exercise. It is also relaxation. You focus on the breath but also you relax your attention. For me meditation is more like a relaxation exercise. After a while, you will not be meditating. Meditation will just happen to you.But it takes couple of years to get to that point. Its not a doing when you are experienced meditator. But in the beginning its a doing for sure.Meditation is the best thing i ever did for myself. It really works but it takes some years. Advanced meditators can get into very deep states. But newbies don't get much from it until they become more experienced. Also you need to distinguish between having thoughts and thinking. These are two different things. If you are having thoughts while meditating, thats not an issue. But if you are actively thinking about stuff, thats definitely an issue, Check this great video out if you are interested in learning the difference. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VnDsZSIWUDU

@Danioover9000 I think we are always dealing with some unknown variables in any situation. 100% certainty is impossible.

@BipolarGrowth I agree with you. Shulgins life purpose was to create and explore all these different chemicals. He really enjoyed it. And was in love with the whole process.

@Carl-Richard Thats the point: You don't know. But thats what true science is all about. Exploring and finding out. You can do it on animals or yourself at some cases. With your logic nobody would ever touch many psychedelics or research chemical just because we have not sufficient enough data. 5meo malt could be potentially neurotoxic as it is 5meo-dipt but i would be willing to try it nonetheless. I care about my well-being and safety but sometimes it is worth the risk. Personally i would risk my health in (an intelligent way) for God. Last time i was offered DMT by some friend. It could have been poison from all i knew. But i took the risk. I believe Leo is risking his health also with all his experiements. But i admire that he is putting skin in the game. When someone is willing to put his health on the line (in an intelligent way, not recklessly) for some greater cause thats very admirable. On the other hand when someone just cares about his well-being and nothing else, thats a petty sad existance full of fear and always obsessed with self-preservation. We don't admire people like that. They never do any breakthroughs in their lifes. They just survive. Thats why we admire people like Gandhi, Spartacus and Martin Luther King.The guy in the video does something good by testing the drugs on himself 1st.

Thats they problem with chasing money and having money be yout top priority. This is a really sad and unique case. This guy has sold his health to the devil for money. He is a cautionary tale for all the future generations. He is doing these mukbangs and ruining his health for money. At this point he has made some millions and could probably stop but he keeps going hard at it. This will not end well for him. Greediness never ends well. Eventually you lose everything when you are super greedy.

@Nahm Why is that the case? I don't get it.

@BipolarGrowth I really like it when i see scientists putting some skin in the game. Maybe its not wise or the most intelligent thing, but it shows some courage and passion for the job :-) I like courageous people. But it is easy to do stupid sh*t and think you are being courageous. So its very very very hard to draw a clear line.......

@Leo Gura Yup. I think to wanna be an athlete you have to be stuck at stage Orange or below.. Anything below Stage Green is pure devilry for my own tastes. Just the notion of being concerned with becoming the best , number #1 on the entire planet and really be concerned about that is pretty egotistical and low consciousness i believe. These people believe that they more important and significant when in reality they are as significant as an ant in the cosmic scale. I have watched bodybuilding carefully and also mma. I have seen a pattern. When these athletes become number one in what they do, it doesn't really change much. And eventually they lose that number one spot and try to reclaim it again and again like drug addicts. The ego never gets satisfied. That number one spot you got in the world will mean nothing in your deathbed. lol

This site says that i should avoid mixing L-Tryptophan with Hawain Baby Woodrose because they both raise serotonin... https://www.drugs.com/tryptophan.html The total dosage of l-tryptophan i will be ingesting is like 400mg alongside with 600mg of hawaian baby woodrose..