Zigzag Idiot

Brad addresses the views of a stereotypical naysayer. Is Espistimology the word he's looking for? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epistemology http://hardcorezen.info/ He writes good books, anyway.

Thanks @khalifa These longer documentaries should maybe be grouped together.

I've come to appreciate more the difference between 5 meo dmt and NN dmt. Freebase dmt is much more gentler. I overdid my first dose Of 5 meo dmt @'about 17 mg. The subsequent doses were smaller and more tolerable but then I loaded again with a heavy dose a couple of days ago. Somewhere around 18 - 21 mgs. Too much in that it really grabbed me by the boo boo. It felt like the experience of time came to a halt. Perhaps had it been just the right amount beacuase it didn't really traumatize me but it sure Rattled my cage in a big way. This gave me empathy for those who do too much their first time. Dabbing in a bubber is my method. Using a small piece of aluminum foil sitting on the scale. 3x 3 inch of aluminum fool, kept unwrinked and with a crease put in it . The open baggy held almost perpendicular and a plastic straw is then inserted into the baggy to use as a shovel. It works good with me. With the dmt piled out delicately and measured onto the foil. The small tin foil peice is then gently picked up and with the crease all the material is poured in to a tiny Metal measuring spoon. Heat the titanium bowl dump and pouring the contents into the rig being sure to be drawing on the bubbler as the material hits the hot metal. I hold my lungs as full as I can. Seems to add to the power of the trip. For people starting out, I would definitively start out keeping the dosage of 5 meo dmt at 4mg or preferably lower when smoked. Also - Close your eyes and just keep trying to be open and curious.

Not even psychedelics can help with my ability to produce art. ? With both 5 meo dmt, but more so NN dmt, I like to have 3 songs lined up to listen to with good headphones. With my eyes closed I just listen to the music and watch whatever show is playing on the inner screen of my mind. Ive been experimenting some with mixing them together which I'll probably be criticized for,,,. Approximately 40-50 mg dmt freebase with 8-10 mg 5 meo dmt. So far my best trips have been with pushing the upper limits doing solely one or the other though. This evening I experienced what I would describe as 'crazy spiraling lightening' in my inner vision as I tripped listening to- Sometimes I'll listen to a Terence McKenna talk instead or maybe just silence.

William James Thompson, BA (hons) J.G.Bennett‟s Interpretation of the Teachings of G.I.Gurdjieff: a study of transmission in the fourth way Thesis submitted for the degree of PhD, University of Lancaster, February 1995 https://www.scribd.com/document/115029506/W-J-THOMPSON-Gurdjieff-Bennet-and-the-Fourth-Way Interesting and detailed Table of Contents

Layer after layer The yo yo of Being is a part of the ride and so I repeat the same old quotes about the trap of the thinking mind. This degree of continual forgetting is an amazing rediscovery time and again and again. The repetitive motion of finding oneself through Identification (even true and worthy descriptions) keeps the being energy just below the critical velocity needed to escape the gravitational field of narrative selfhood.” - Cynthia Bourgeault Have you got sufficient inner observation? Have you cleared and well dug a big space in your mind through the practice of inner attention and put a hedge round it and a gate so that you can hear the click of the gate and watch this darling little thought coming up the drive all ready to say: “Oh, how tired I am,” etc.? I fancy that once we let it in very far every thought gets hold of us and wrings us, takes our blood, makes us react, talk, behave, in a certain way, and then, satisfied with having dined off us, it retires for a time. Nicoll psychological commentaries page 683.

I've recently encountered a freebase NN dmt referred to as Spacedust. Seems good quality; slightly yellow but not really harsh at all when smoked. Vaping 50 mg in a bubbler with a titanium bowl is giving a pretty consistent breakthrough into what I believe is a form of the Chrysanthemum??? When encountering the Chrysanthemum space previously with NN dmt fumarate the experience was harsh and the visuals were spinning in a slower mechanical rotation of the bright colored patterns. The Chrysanthemum space I've encountered with the freebase dmt is quite discernibly crisp and fast moving and more 3 dimensional. My whole visual field blinks very rhythmically with its changing patterns. Seemingly in sync with my heartbeat. At times, the experience will be of being inside a building in which the floors, walls, ceiling are unfolding quickly in motion and is quite pleasant. There is a change in sound. There seems to be a slight or muffled buzzing sound. If sound is coming from a tv or computer speaker, it becomes hollow and more distant when the visuals overcome me. Trip duration is about 10 minutes.

I felt pretty busted out by Leo's video as well. We can experience drastic changes in states of consciousness but the work of purifying the emotional body is what moves us in vertical stage growth. We've got bad software in our hardware among other things. IME A lot can be done in just witnessing the present moment. Im going to consult the ICHING now.

@Bill W Thank you, friend.

From Pauls letters to the Romans Ezekiel

I would recommend to anyone while doing their spiritual practices to also always have a good biography of someone going. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lives_of_John_Lennon https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_River_of_Doubt It helps round out our being.

I loved the book too. Also thought the movie adaptation was very good also. Lincoln is an inspiring character without a doubt. Danial Day Lewis did a great job in his performance.

Sometimes it can be, IME. Some claim, that primarily the capacity to feel negative emotion but not give expression to it is a part of the true transformative practice. The ability to 'hold one's tongue' as some say,,,, Arnold Keyserling, student of Gurdjieff, said that if a Person could go for two years, (which is the cycle of Mars) and not outwardly express negative emotion, the internal alchemical cooking that takes place becomes a particular Intellegence where anything that happens thereafter will simply be taken more as, - What is - and will not produce a reactive, mechanical, negative emotion or expression regardless of what may happen after a successful two years. Some might call it a formula for cultivating Sainthood or pure grace. Ive been attempting this for about 15 years and have lost count at the number of times I've had to start over,,,, ?Although I haven't succeeded, I feel it's a very worthwhile practice that does begin to produce more of a spaciousness in a person. Eventually, we do become less of a puppet of our mechanical reactivity.

@Sahil Pandit Besides the Jocko motivation video 'Good' that you shared in your Journal . I laughed so hard, I lost my breath. I already told you about it though. I was on a fairly stout dose of lsd. That probably also had something to do with it. This Homer Simpson clip puts me in stitches. This is like the third time I've shared this so I imagine a lot of people are getting sick of seeing it. Laughter is good medicine. I was going to post here last night but got diverted watching David Cross and Larry David clips for a couple hours. Two of my favorite comedians.

Reminded me of Almaas writing about 'basic trust'. Basic trust is the soul's way of attuning to a fundamental law of reality, the fact that our sense of existing as a separate and isolated entity is false, that our ego experience of isolation and helplessness is an illusion based on identification with the world of physical manifestation. Knowing that we are all part of one reality means that our true nature is not defined by ego experience in the physical body and cannot be fundamentally hurt or destroyed. If the individual soul is in touch with this reality of non-separateness, then it will reflect that by functioning in a way that expresses this knowledge. Facets of Unity, pg. 24 Basic Trust Enables You to Completely Stay with Experience As we have seen, when you are trying to make something happen, you are not trusting the natural order; you don't trust that Essence itself will manifest in the way it is needed. The first point of departure from this trust is always a rejection of the now. To apply the perspective of basic trust, of true will, you must have the complete confidence that staying completely with what you are experiencing in this moment, will result in what needs to happen, without your having to think about a certain outcome. When the confidence is there, your awareness of exactly what is happening in you will allow you to see that your organism will do the best it can in the situation. Your mind, however, doesn't allow that complete Presence in the now; it thinks it knows what is best for you, but of course it knows only what has happened in the past, and can lead you only in ways conditioned by your history. Diamond Heart Book Two, pg. 118 The Innate Sense that Life is Fundamentally Benevolent The presence of basic trust indicates that you have the innate sense that life is fundamentally benevolent, and that benevolence exists independent of you and your actions. You will have this sense to the extent that your grounding in the universe has not been disturbed. The relative presence or absence of basic trust is a belly quality, something one’s whole being is either grounded in or not. The disturbance of basic trust is a significant factor in ego development because the perspective of ego is diametrically opposed to the sense of basic trust. The ego’s perspective arises out of a lack of this trust. It is based on distrust, on paranoia, on fear, on the conviction that you're not going to be adequately taken care of and that the universe is not there to hold and take care of you in the ways that you need. This conviction causes you to believe that you have to engage in all kinds of manipulations and games to get your needs met and to make things work out. Facets of Unity, pg. 25 Trusting the Dynamism of the Inquiry In time, you develop basic trust and you learn to trust the dynamism of the inquiry. This will happen as result of several things: first, clearly recognizing the optimizing force in the dynamism of your own unfolding; second, truly seeing that optimization is the nature of the dynamism; and third, having faith that the optimizing is occurring even when you can’t feel it in the moment. Then you are trusting the guidance and the unfoldment. Basic trust – the knowing that you just need to relax and things will work out fine – is an automatic result of this developing knowledge of reality. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 122 With Basic Trust You Take Risks When you have a lot of basic trust, you are courageous and authentic. You take risks. You don't sit on your capacities. You engage in life wholeheartedly, doing what feels appropriate to you with the confidence that it will work out. Without much basic trust, you are paralyzed with fear of failure and fear of rejection. Facets of Unity, pg. 28 Without Basic Trust We Live Our Lives Defensively If basic trust informs your experience, your psyche is relaxed. Your soul is at peace with itself and with your situation, resting in the unquestioned confidence that the universe provides, that you have, and will receive, what you really need, and that things are workable. If we really have this trust, this deep inner relaxation, it becomes possible to live our lives out of love, out of an appreciation of life, out of enjoyment in what the universe provides for us, and out of compassion and kindness for others and ourselves. Without it, we live our lives defensively, in conflict with others and with ourselves, becoming self-centered and egoistic. To find our basic trust is to reconnect with our natural state that we have become separated from. When we are innately infused by reality, our soul or consciousness is completely transparent to the truth that we and the universe are one, that we are supported by reality and that reality is by its very nature good, and that what happens is inevitably right since it emerges out of that inherent perfection. When you understand this, it becomes obvious why it is so difficult to relax and let go, and why it is so important regain our basic trust. Facets of Unity, pg. 32 Without Basic Trust We React According to Our Conditioning Now we can see how the presence or absence of basic trust is crucial to the initial step in the process of the transformation of any sector of the ego. This step is only completed by giving up the particular structure we have been holding on to. Basic trust gives you the capacity and the willingness to let go of the images, identifications, structures, beliefs, ideas, and concepts -- the remnants of the past that make up the ego. Implicit in this initial step is the second one: If you are able to surrender, then you are willing to be. You are willing to not try to change things, to not manipulate them, to not push and pull at them. You are willing to just be present, which is a sort of realization itself. First, then, is the death of the old; second is the realization of Being. If you don't have basic trust, you will react to what arises in accordance with your conditioning and will want your process to go one way or another. You won’t let yourself just be present; you’ll be tense and contracted. So basic trust is needed for you to be able to allow the ego to die, and also for you to be willing to just be, without reacting. Facets of Unity, pg. 26

@skywords I hope you stick around. The forum needs more people who are in their 60's and 70's. I'm 52 going on 15,,,,, The more I dig into Spiral Dynamics the richer it gets. Especially when joined with other frames of reference. This topic will probably get moved but I'm glad you're here! ?‍♂️

Thanks! @yangmilun My words are worthless unless they help you connect with your inner Truth. Your summary is pretty rich. Instead of getting what we want we get what God/Cosmos wants. In letting go of the false part of ourselves, we experience unity consciousness and having Conscience. Conscience is the Intellegence of the Universe. The biggest obstacle to awakening Conscience is the inner bully of superego. Superego is the internalized voice of authority in us which is usually connected to a particular parent or caregiver. Imagination to begin with is our biggest hindrance leading us into infinite subtleties of self deceptions and magical thinking. But when the emotional center is purified we get access to the Causal realm also called the Imaginal realm or the realm of the atom. Being that I'm still on the way, I don't know but I think there are different depths of Cosmic Consciousness. When we purify our negative emotions we can intuit and grok others better.