Zigzag Idiot

Anna, I see, I understand. No problems,,, everyone is welcome to post here ?

I'm somewhat indebted to other beings such as my brother/godfather, William, an iconoclastic heretic in his own right who happens to possess heart.

Thank god it's perservred.

Yes! Im busted! ?✌️

I'm checking out for a while.this mornin /evening what ever it is I the meantime,,, thank you all of you placeholders,,,,,

I love her heart. Her blessing and burden is embodiment of adrenal (Mars) warrior essence type in a feminine Automaton.

I shouldn't be communicating for a while this evening. Experimenting with a higher intake of Lsd leaves me as messed up as a soup sandwich. ?

Man is legion. In metaphorically alluding to Gurdjieffs' and others view that we are a multiplicity, I've often referred to myself as a ship of fools who sometimes fight among themselves over control of the helm.

This is Mr Hollywood before life kicked the shit out if him.

Your thoughts reminded me of the following commentaries about the Enneatype 6 when at the yellow and turquoise stages of development. Type Six: The Questioner/The Trusting Self. In the Yellow level of consciousness, Type Six, the Questioner, is able to trust himself for the first time. The Trusting Self transforms rigidity and inconsistency into solidity as faith is embodied. From an understanding of the need for adaptive, flexible systems, the Trusting Self can operate under external authority when needed, or can serve as the authority. “Authority can be authorities because I’m the authority too, and I trust myself” (Ooten, Unpublished; Ooten, 2010). Type Six: The Questioner/The Faithful Self. Type Six, the Questioner, understands at the Turquoise level that fear is simply one aspect of the multitude of experiences, and it has no more meaning than any other experience (Ooten, Unpublished). Realizing that life and death are merely energy states, the Faithful Self understands that security is always present and trusts in reality as it unfolds. Faith and trust in the unknowing brings courage to act spontaneously and allows Type Six to lead the continuation of life (Esposito, 2008; Ooten, 2010). from : http://www.consciousdynamicsllc.com/home/levels_of_consciousness.html

I agree in part that for some in turquoise, they are able to pull off playing a roll in such a way that the subtleties will be conveyveyed to those in thier presence and it's possible for a form of transmission to take place for those the role player is intent on reaching. As Ken Wilber might say, meeting people where they are at - but presented with a metaphorical step latter and delivered with an intuitive intelligence that knows how to get the message delivered. I don't KNOW but I think it's a valid possibility ,,,,? Just thinking out loud,,,,

"Knowledge attained when the mind is in the heart." @8:30 Cynthia Bourgeault, Episcopal Priest and Phd, is also a longtime student of the Gurdjieff Work.

UNCLEAN’ STATES “The Work is a very strong, clean thing, and so demands a great deal of inner cleanness and strength and sincerity with oneself. Who are the unclean in the Gospels? Every form of hypocrisy and pretense, every form of looking down one’s nose, every form of sighing slightly, every form of pseudo patience—yes, all this is uncleanness and we come to know it. It is a very good stage to reach, when one knows it.” V. 2, p. 551 YOU HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE NEGATIVE’ “Now the Work says you have a right not to be negative...To be able to feel this draws down force to help you. You stand upright, as it were, in yourself, among all the mess of your negativeness, and you feel and know that it is not necessary to lie down in that mess. To say this phrase in the right way to yourself, to feel the meaning of the words: ‘I have a right not to be negative,’ is actually a form of self- remembering, of feeling a trace of real ‘I,’ that lifts you up above the level of your negative ‘I’s which are all the time telling you without a pause that you have every right to be negative.” V. 1, p. 161 GIVING UP SUFFERING “A man, a woman, cannot awaken if they retain this dreadful weight, their mechanical suffering, and nourish it, by a continual process of justifying it.” V. 4, p. 1240 GIVING UP SUFFERING II “A man, a woman, must give up their suffering and sacrifice that first of all, because this can lead to a change of Being. For this to happen one must be able to see through self-observation what one suffers from...There is the suffering of man towards woman, of woman towards man...Then take all the mechanical forms of suffer- ing that arise from feeling that you have never been understood by your parents, your husband, your wife, or your children...It is exactly this suffering derived from life and all its awkwardness that has to be sacrificed.” V. 3, pp. 850, 852 From : Gems of Wisdom

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Over the years I've repeatedly experienced 'being in the desert of darkness and meaninglessness" and it's an awful feeling. Having that thousand yard stare,,,,,, At times I've been bolstered by a macabre saying of Gurdjieffs that he meant as dark humor and who himself admitted he contemplated suicide at a few certain times. He said - "Hell, its only terrible first few days. I never know if the antidote will be gritting my teeth and hanging tough or throwing my hands up and saying, "fuck it". If you know what I mean. You're not alone. Look at these thoughtful responses from others here and take heart. Find the path back to loving yourself and having a feeling of innocence and wishing well for others. A good cry or perhaps radically throwing yourself into a strenuous physical activity have been turning points for me in these periodic states of psychic entropy. Bless you and may light shine on you soon. As @Nahm said, I too wish you well.

To me, he's pointing out how proud we materialists of the west are in regard to individuality backed up by the thinking mind. Descartes - I think, therefore I am. This is an identification with mind instead of an experience of being. To articulate using a quote from Almaas- An Important Difference Between the Mind and Being These fantasies, beliefs and misinformation actually accompany almost all internalized object relations to some extent. Internalized object relations are rarely true representations of actual events or relationships. One’s memory traces include all kinds of ideas, fantasies and images that never had an objective reality. Another source of extraneous material comes from the psychic processes of organization and integration themselves. These processes modify the original object relations as more impressions are internalized. This is necessary for the integration of object relations units of various affect and content. This extra material, whether it is attached to actual memories of object relations or consists of pure fabrications, cannot be absorbed into Being. This is an important difference between the mind and Being. The mind can absorb and identify with any psychic material it believes to be true. It does not have the capacity, on its own, to discern what is objective truth and what is not. In other words, the mind can be deceived, even by itself. Being, on the other hand, is pure reality. It is the actual stuff and consciousness of truth, and cannot be deceived. It does not try not to be deceived; it is simply truth by its nature, a self-conscious medium made of pure sensitivity. Any falsehood, that is, anything which is not the objective truth of what actually happened in past interactions which produced a particular object relation, is felt in comparison to Being to be dull, gross and distasteful. When one is in contact with Being, these falsehoods are felt to be lifeless, thick and heavy veils in comparison to the luminosity of Being. I view Terence as moving into second tier in adolescence basically. Just my opinion though. I don't know anything about John Locke. Hope this has made some sense,,,,,, Thoughts anyone,,,,?

@Zigzag Idiot Don't be an Idiot.

I'm thinking parts of this blends with Terence Mckenna's stoned ape Theory and some parts it doesn't. Commentary anyone?

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/xd57jw/a-chronology-of-terence-mckenna-related-books-ideas-people-and-other-things

Memories as a whiskey drunk Scientologist in the early nineties.

I really liked this one. Watched it twice yesterday. Says a lot about the ups and downs of everyone's life. I'm going to take a look at one you shared above.

The term "sonship" really freaked me out at first when I ran across it in ACIM. It's been on my mind lately. https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/?s=Sonship ...I said it is possible even in this world to listen to one Voice. 13 If you are part of God and the Sonship is One, you cannot be limited to the self the ego sees. T-5.IV.3. Every loving thought held in any part of the Sonship belongs to every...