Zigzag Idiot

Laughter is sometimes the expression of understanding Laughter can be an expression of a polite acknowledgement Laughter can sometimes be a form of ignorance and the expression of mockery and arrogance If you think about everything long enough anything can be logical

Processing Hatred I don’t have any children. What I comment on here is just my perspective from a distance. Yet also from my experience as a child who at times felt hatred for my parents, like all kids do on occasion. It’s just a part of being on this pain factory of a planet. If hatred arises. Let yourself feel it fully. I think too many parents get divided against themselves with the guilt they feel whenever they get angry with their children. Especially when the children are young and fairly innocent. When their children get into their adolescence and young adulthood. It is a little more understandable because as young adults we all go through belligerent spells of having our nose stuck up in the air or having it up someone else’s ass. In the process, just embarrassing family members nearly to death or outraging the shit out of them. Speaking hatefully towards someone has a higher price, contrasted to holding one’s tongue and maybe instead taking our frustration out on a punching bag,,, busting glass ,, splitting wood,,, chopping weeds,,, etc.,,, screaming into a pillow,,, or whatnot,,,,, Long story short if you feel angry towards someone. Feel it fully and just hate the shit out of them and get it out of your system. Try not to cuss them if possible. That’s a tall order and one I’ve failed at many times.

Statements aimed at everyone- We're all liars and wishful thinkers caught somewhere in the layers of being well-meaning. The more angry you are at this statement, the more self-deceptive and asleep you are. Us introverts

Some pithy comments from Martin Butler,,,,, Reminded me of this excerpt from the works of AH Almaas- Being Where You Are This process of locating yourself is a profoundly personal one, a subtle and sensitive unfolding of inner awareness that does not use obvious external signposts to tell you where you are at any given time. It requires discipline and patience, gentleness and attunement, because the only one who can know where your consciousness is is you. To truly be where you are requires a capacity for listening, a willingness to be open, and a curiosity about your own experience that most likely few people have ever shown toward you. What this calls for is the development of your ability to truly witness yourself, to be a pure and undistorted mirror for where and how you are appearing in the moment. Ultimately, this means seeing yourself without the aid of anyone else’s perspective, anyone else’s experience, or anyone else’s beliefs and judgments. It means not seeing yourself from the outside or locating yourself by where you are relative to external criteria. It is by seeing yourself from inside, from the center of your own experience, that you can discover your own truth, the untouched True Nature of what you are. The Unfolding Now, pg. 224 https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/being

This is an annoying song.. It’s funny if you sing along with slightly changed lyrics; “I want to rock and roll all night and potty everyday. I like the punch of Tony Iommi’s Lead guitar in this song.

The ‘redneck snowflake’ sailor self traveling with this ship of fools/space cruiser I am. Astral beings visit me. There are more than one category of these beings. They can visit me with this energy body they have that has a translucent shimmer about it which changes in density or perception. I perceive them more through a clairaudient state. They can also exist as mock-ups which play on my own psychological projections. All of this sounds quite flaky. Especially with the life I lead and the states of consciousness that are quite varied. As a redneck snowflake and milk toast warrior what else would be expected than something paradoxical and perhaps a bit controversial. An example such as the mystic realm approached through a schizophrenic state. My description of Astral beings could be way off with the technology that exists today which could work in conjunction with different dimensions and communities. Such as the existence of holograms and the existence of little known communities of folks who can operate with non-local consciousness. Throw in the leap frogging speed of technological advancement in nanotechnology and science in general. That’s why I say take a grain of salt with my sometimes outrageous commentary. Imaginative conjecture is a good descriptive phrase for putting your acquired knowledge into an “as if it were true” mental folder for use in remaining open minded while pondering differing ideas. I should confess that I’m a rogue student of the Diamond Approach Teaching and one that has fallen behind in both reading subject matter and exercising personal discipline in general. You can’t be all things to all people,,,, That’s a good excuse anyway,,,,

Laughter and sex I was thinking about an experience a long time ago. A girlfriend started sucking my dick and I got the giggles. Then she got the giggles. When she got the giggles, it was the cutest thing ever. She couldn’t put in her mouth because she was smiling, trying not to, which made me giggle even more because it was so cute. We ended up laughing so hard I lost my hard-on. It was the most fun I ever had not getting a blowjob by the both of us having a laughing fit. If you’re fucking and begin to laugh as you have an orgasm and it’s a mutual experience. It’s a rare experience and a rich one as well.

What is the neurotic mind set? Attention is dispersed and scattered. I've seen the phrase "discursive thought" used from the dissection and study of Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta. I can relate discursive thought to the neurotic condition. Also the phrase-" internal dialogue" from Neo-Shamanism. Being deliberate is a phrase that for me, is very rich. Being deliberate is a shortcut into a state of mindfulness. In being mindful, my attention is concentrated and not dispersed. The practice of 'cleaning my atmosphere' or 'cleaning the luminous egg surrounding my body' has to be remembered and carried out on an intermittent but continual basis. If not my states of consciousness, which are always in flux will enter into a downward spiral of psychic entropy. The concept and reality of each of us having a luminous egg surrounding us comes from shamanism corresponds to modern day research revealing the electromagnetic field which surrounds a persons body about the width of outstretched arms and extends upward to a varying degree but does so much more when we go outdoors into a natural environment. I've listened to Ken Wilber speak of this phenomena. Joseph Chilton Pierce has written about this as well. The atmosphere of the luminous egg or aura is cleaned by disconnecting the metaphorical hooks from other people who distract us. Sometimes through their claiming we are responsible for their lives or perhaps through attempts at shaming us for not meeting the standards of the collective ego. Having a clean aura or luminous egg translates into having inner quiet. You gather up all of your dispersed attention and are able to place it where you want at will. Make up your own rules in regards to morals. What the small still voice of awakened conscience relates to is the personal ethic more than contemporary social mores.* Your personal ethic is more encompassing than codes of moral behavior set in place by contemporary cultures. *What is the full meaning of mores? Mores are the customs, norms, and behaviors that are acceptable to a society or social group.

Mechanical behavior = running on autopilot Often this allows the expression of negative emotions. Control of, or "holding one's tongue" is not an easy task. Especially when being confronted with something unpleasant. Maybe even an injustice. A quote from Red Hawk- Sometimes I eat the bear; sometimes the bear eats me. My degree of Being fluctuates. Morality is necessary but not sufficient. Awakened conscience is crucial in the effort of raising one's overall degree of Being. I awaken to some extent and then inevitably, I nap,,,, Not expressing negative emotions is very effective for increasing one's degree of Being. Maurice Nicoll- YOU HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE NEGATIVE’ “Now the Work says you have a right not to be negative...To be able to feel this draws down force to help you. You stand upright, as it were, in yourself, among all the mess of your negativeness, and you feel and know that it is not necessary to lie down in that mess. To say this phrase in the right way to yourself, to feel the meaning of the words: ‘I have a right not to be negative,’ is actually a form of self- remembering, of feeling a trace of real ‘I,’ that lifts you up above the level of your negative ‘I’s which are all the time telling you without a pause that you have every right to be negative.” V. 1, p. 161 BEARING UNPLEASANT MANIFESTATIONS “One sign of Being is the capacity to bear the unpleasant manifestations of others. Why is this a sign of greater Being? The answer is that you cannot do this unless you have seen in yourself what you dislike in others...When you have just criticized someone, go over what you said carefully and apply it to yourself. This neutralizes poison in you.” V. 1, pp. 168, 176

Self Observation: The Awakening of Conscience: An Owner's Manual by Red Hawk

,,,,,,,,, Great Idea! @LastThursday I very much agree. Hope this idea gets some attention.

You cannot count on me You can count on me to be an Ordinary Idiot sometimes You can count on me to be imperfect You can count on me to not even try at a crucial time,,, on occasion You can count on me to be the fuck up 37% of the time You can count on me to be the foolish fool every now and then You can count on me to be a Genial Idiot once in a while You can count on me to be an oblivious horndog; just like the 87% who are reading this You can count on me to be the inconsistent friend who does the right thing sometimes You can count on me to put my foot in my mouth and turn red-faced every-great-once-in-a-while You can count on me to display a character flaw (blind-spot/chief feature) that lets you forgive yourself for having the same sort of peculiarity, whatever it may be that horrifies you whenever you catch a glimpse of it You can count on me to be a Zigzag Idiot sometimes but not always If you hate someone, forgive them so you won't hate yourself You cannot count on me because I can't be all things; to all people I could go on but I've got some practical tasks to work on Have a nice day

Todays I CHING Reading\Consultation My paraphrasing ,,,,,, It's one's own puritanical, self righteous ego that demonizes the sexual energy which divides a person against themselves. Themselves/ourselves = multidimensional aspects of both personality and essence. Puritanical self righteous is over stating it. Throwing the the coins this morning gave Line 4 and 6 of Hexagram 53 as a part of my reading. Line 4. The wild goose gradually draws near the tree. Perhaps it will find a flat branch. No blame. The flat branch represents those times in life when the person who is bringing his true self to maturity is placed in difficult situations. People formerly in his circle resent that he no longer takes part in their ego-activities. They misunderstand his behavior and challenge him to explain or defend himself, in attempts to draw him into ego-confrontations. He needs to say the inner No to their incorrect behavior, then ask the Sage in their presence to intervene with the egos in them. Thereafter, he allows events to develop without interference (he rests on a flat branch), and remains reserved with them until the Sage has intervened. Acting in this way removes all blame from the situation, for there is no longer any basis for discord. Line 6. The wild goose gradually draws near the cloud heights. Its feathers can be used for the sacred dance. Good fortune. From the Cosmic viewpoint, the metaphor of the cloud heights means "out of the clouds," out of the grasp of the ego, with its delusions, flatteries, fears, and doubts- out of confusion and disorder, and into clarity. Here, the true self is pictured as emerging to lead the personality, with all parts of the person unified into a single being, and a single psyche. The person is whole, complete, and in harmony with the Cosmos. The image given in this line can also describe the effect of an inner No we have said to another's ego-behavior. If we then turn the matter over to the Cosmos, it can discipline the ego and free his true self from its grip. However, when his true self then shows itself, it is important to remain on guard, stay neutral, and not open ourselves prematurely until his true self has become firmly established. This prevents the ego in him, which is still strong, from interpreting our openness as weakness, which would allow it to prey upon our true self. When this happens, it steals the victory and gains control over the relationship. In the words of the metaphor of this line, it plucks the true self and decorates itself with its feathers to dance the "sacred dance" of victory. The line can also indicate a person who has reached the goal of self-development as defined by the collective ego. The metaphor of the goose's feathers being used for the sacred dance points to a person's having sacrificed his animal nature in order to overcome his body's supposed evil influence. The self-flattery of being taken into the "heavenly realm" after having conquered his lower nature is the good fortune imagined. However, in "leaving the earth far behind," as Wilhelm's commentary puts it, he is actually leaving behind the source of his life-force; the earth is the living entity and consciousness that nourishes a person in every possible way. Beliefs that demonize the earth and our connection with it are the source of illnesses that can lead to an untimely death. By cutting himself off from his bodily nature, which, through his feelings, connects him with the earth's life force, he becomes a person "without a head" as described in Hexa- gram 8, Holding Together, Line 6, or a walking dead person. He lacks the ability to further connect with the Cosmic Whole. (See Glossary: Walking Dead Person.) The collective ego has erected its own monument of spiritual perfection: the perfected person who has fought evil in himself, and then crusades against evil in the world. The definition of evil is whatever the collective ego has designated as such, at any given moment: poverty, crime, chaos, etc. In this effort, the hero must necessarily see culprits that must either be overcome and repressed, or extinguished. These ideas have given rise to the great Crusades, wars, and Inquisitions of Western history, and the genocides that have occurred worldwide. The Sage teaches us that the word "culprit" has no Cosmic basis. Evil comes only from the mistaken ideas that each individual holds in his psyche. Each individual is solely responsible for what he permits to reside in his psyche, for inasmuch as he allows these ideas within himself, he separates from the Cosmic Whole. Chief among these destructive ideas are the ideas of there being a culprit, and of original fault. These ideas must not be allowed to give rise to outer action or to hostile thoughts, but are to be deprogrammed by each person's saying the inner No to them.

An unaccomplished Seesaw Seer This describes how some of us are. Thinking that we know something and that we can justifiably council others. Why not? We seemingly know ourselves more intimately than we know others. No? Is this the root of our apparent wisdom? Apparently clear yet opaque so apparently not so transparent as we thought at first apparently. Until the emotional center becomes purified, a person is simply an unguided projectile. Among other things and such and stuff,,,, Why act stupid only to make it more difficult for others to take us seriously? We don't know I say. You go ask your others and see what they say... Thank you Ocke de Boer and I thank you for so much more, Ocke de Boer. Until we tame our wild selves... What is this we begin with? An unguided projectile or an Unguided Golum? We know not? Dot, dot, dot... Knock Knock Knock. Hello? Department of Transportation. Department of Transportation. Department of Transportation. Is this simply one's instinctual moving center echoing while we're grounded in the Belly center? Or perhaps ungrounded in a knot it would echo? No? I don't know. So I know not. A Seesaw Seer is pulled along the ups and downs of the emotional center. What is a placeholder...? Department of Human Services. Department of Human Services. Department of Human Services. Is this not simply just the Golden rule? Yes? No? Sness? Yo? Snot. Istoo. Isnot. Some of us observe others and how they argue while we hold our tongues and observe our own confusion of tongues. Knots perhaps now undone. Thanks a lot. We are traveling the road to integration and individuation. Slow down or prepare to stop. Work in progress. Become your own sovereign government and govern your many selves or maybe not. Either way... Thanks a lot. Brad Warner, Zen Master. Some say not. Because his spiritual materialism or Zen Devil appearance is not on display. Why? He is not a Zen Devil. See what I mean? Some will not see. Whether you do or not... Thanks a lot.

I craved alcohol from adolescence until I was 38 in 2005. It's a blessing to no longer crave it. I have no desire to start drinking again either. Alcohol made me really emotionally unstable. I used to attend AA meetings a long time ago. One of the sayings I remember.... H.A.L.T. Try to avoid being hungry, angry, lonely, or tired - These conditions/emotions can often trigger a strong compulsion to drink. Being hungry always made drinking more of a temptation for me,,, The other conditions- angry, lonely and tired are not so easy to avoid. I experienced alcoholism almost as an allergy in the way my body reacted to it. Although I no longer drink, I have a methamphetamine habit/addiction that I'm trying to observe. It's been my experience that Society\cultural ego often tries to shame people into quitting their addictions which I think actually worsens a persons condition related to whatever habit or substance they may be compelled to indulge in. I smoked cigarettes for 15 years or so. It was a very difficult addiction to break. This was 22 years ago. It was realization that I did not want quit and so I smoked for another 5 years before I felt the full motivation to quit. I haven't smoked cigarettes since. Long story short- IMO.,, People shaming others about their addictions only adds to the problem. How nice it would be if we could live in a world without having some insecure, self righteous asshole shaking their fingers at others who were in the midst of resolving their own disparities. Good luck @Ima Freeman

An Idiots idioms, colloquialisms, metaphors, similes, allegories, abstractions, hyperbole and allergies. An Idiots Idiot can be a Piccadilly award winner with a yuckfou attitude. A candle in the wind is similar to a fart in a blizzard. A human lifetime juxtaposed to the lifetime of a solar system can add a sobering perspective. Don’t piss away your life trying to live up to other’s ideas of what you should be doing. Or if doing is more important than being. “ I can’t hear you, said the blind man to his deaf wife.”

I’ve got a case of tinnitus it seems,,,

The Miami think and speak haunts me,,, Where is the acknowledgement, where is the Love. Please pass the Black eyed peas. More biscuits please,,,, I think I have Industrial disease and no credibility it seems,,,

Where is the privacy ,,,,, Who?

The discovery of Discoveries of the Salem which trials in scapegoating shaking pissing possum jawed ,,,, little ole me and the bullshit continues,,,,

The hurdles of ever changing moods,,,, Rome falls nine times an hour,,,, One of the best articles concerning our disjointed conscious states or as some have described it as one’s disrupted continuity of consciousness. If you’re reading a difficult book some have described it as following the red thread of meaning, The Problem of the Subtle Sybil Effect LAWS OF WISDOM by Ralph Losey The underlying reason the big questions are so difficult to answer is ultimately personal ñ we are swamped in a plethora of identities, most of them false. These false personas were imposed upon us from the outside by society and from the inside by our own muddled thinking. For most of us there is no single unified self, no uniform field of continuous consciousness. Our “common sense” notion to the contrary, that we are one person with a singular identity, is based on a false assumption. In the words of psychologist Charles Tart, Ph.D.: We just assume that a given person is relatively consistent with himself, that he constitutes one person with various characteristics, traits, and so on. Thus you call yourself by one name, with the implication that you are indeed one person even though you have a range of moods and feelings. …. we actually have many quite discrete subpersonalities, each of which calls itself “I” when it happens to be activated by appropriate environmental stimuli, but we have no unity of personality at all except in the sense that all the various subpersonalities are associated with the same physical body and name. (1) As Professor Tart and many others have found, by the time we become adults our identity is disjointed, fragmented, perhaps even fractal, like a “Julia Set.”(2) We have one series of identities and personalities inherited from our parents, fashioned to meet their expectations, or to rebel against them. There is another series of personalities acquired in the course of schooling, another while dating, another at work, another in a sport or hobby, etc. Close observation of yourself will reveal that you are different people at different times. There is precious little continuity between your different states of consciousness. When you are one person one moment, you have usually forgotten that you were a completely different person a few moments before, and will be yet another person later. You are consumed by the personality of the moment. The personalities are isolated from each other by barriers of unawareness. There are defenses or buffers between the many “I’s”. There is no underlying actor to play the part. No one who remembers and coordinates all of the roles. It’s as if a series of different people – acquaintances, not friends – took turns inhabiting the same body. We are one person when we first wake up, another person to our children, another to our spouse, another to our boss, etc. One “I” may make a promise, but the next “I” will not remember to keep it, or will not want to keep it. We live in a chaotic world where an endless series of things happen to us that do not fit together, do not make sense. Many important things seem to be the result of chance or luck. There is no conscious being there to see the “big picture” so that it can all make sense. There is no center, no empty hub uniting the many spokes of the wheel, the many fragments of self. The conscious states alternate unconnected by inner silence. It is like hearing foreign words or sentences without any underlying comprehension. The underlying being who comprehends and integrates is unconscious. The actor is asleep. The play goes on mechanically, uncomprehendingly. For such a one the “scientists” are correct, man is a machine and enlightenment is impossible, or merely a delusion, another fleeting role.,,,,,,, The rest of the article can be found in the link below. https://schoolofwisdom.com/laws-of-wisdom/the-problem-of-the-subtle-sybil-effect/

Don’t make unconditional Love a standard that you want to live up to as a station of consciousness. The vast majority of us are incapable of doing that and it actually becomes a stumbling block. Be open to experiencing it as a state of consciousness that shows up unexpectedly. Forget the idea of making love. Fully embody your lust. It’s more honest.

Chaos Theory and trivial math nerd philosophical questions. If I’m more open minded than usual. Does ambiguity in regards to my certainty increase or decrease? If I’m living near the Arctic circle and have an adjustable home mortgage rate. If I move below the equator. Does my mortgage rate go lower also or possibly lower at a tangential degree of angle?