Zigzag Idiot

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  1. Obviously no one has offered an opinion. That’s fine. I perhaps understand. Often times I find myself somewhat peeved at responses from others that seem to rather have a condescending tone. It’s simply not skillful means. I would like to stay away from that kind of one-ups-man-ship or holier-than -thou dialogue. I really do welcome blunt feedback on my communication skills,,,, My I Ching reading for today was rather foreboding, yet there is most always hope and light to seen in the overall messages.
  2. 4 out of 40 To be brutally honest. I experience a certain amount of pride in not testing high in Narcissistic qualities. This implies an inherent contradiction. To be more blunt, I believe this test be rather shallow and rather high on the scale of bullshito. It's not my intention to be overtly antagonistic though,,,,,?‍♂️✌ The Last Element Which Supports Narcissism This clarifies the observation that one of the main sources of narcissism is the self-reflective capacity of the normal self. More precisely, one of the main characteristics of narcissism is self-consciousness, an outcome of the normal self’s capacity for self-reflection. It is only at the level of the Absolute that this characteristic disappears. It does not disappear at the earlier stages of self-realization, not even at the level of nonconceptual reality because there is always consciousness when we reflect. The ego-self hangs on to this consciousness, even nonconceptual consciousness, by self-reflection. In the experience of nonconceptual reality, we perceive pure consciousness when looking backward or inward. In the experience of the Absolute, consciousness disappears when we attempt to reflect. The experience then is not self-consciousness but cessation of all consciousness. We could say that in the self-realization of the absolute truth, our front is the perception of phenomena, which is the same as the phenomena, and our back is total cessation. The quality of this depth of Being, whose nature is total cessation, dissolves self-consciousness. This eliminates the last element which supports narcissism. The Point of Existence, pg. 426 The Root of Narcissism In the experience of self-realization, the self recognizes its identity as presence. When a person is identified with something other than the primordial presence, self-realization is absent. He is not then being himself; he is not simply being. He is not one with his essence. The most fundamental and deepest aspect of the soul is absent in his experience of himself. This is the root of narcissism. In narcissism, the experience of the self is disconnected from its core, from the depths of what it is. It is estranged from its true nature, exiled from its primordial home. The soul’s estrangement from its true nature is the basis of narcissism. Here, we are using the term narcissism in the colloquial sense, similar to what is referred to as narcissistic disturbance in psychoanalytic terminology. The Point of Existence, pg. 26 The Self of the Average Individual is Deeply and Fundamentally Narcissistic Narcissism is a very general, basic element of ego life. The self of the average individual is deeply and fundamentally narcissistic. The complete resolution of narcissism will elude us until the achievement of self-realization. All that conventional psychotherapy can do is alleviate symptoms resulting from severe disturbances of narcissism, and, when successful, can help the individual to reach the level of the narcissism of everyday life. To proceed further and address this fundamental narcissism, only spiritual development will make a real difference. We also believe that understanding the spiritual nature of the self can help us to understand even the severe forms of narcissistic disturbance. This perspective can help us to see that we cannot separate our psychology from our spirituality, our psyche from our spirit, for we are fundamentally whole. Our self is one self, and cannot be dichotomized into a spiritual or “higher” self and a psychical or psychophysical self. The Point of Existence, pg. 46
  3. i sound like an asshole and a Zen Devil sometimes,,, I think. A strange combination of arrogance and humbleness so often found with people in this forum who take it upon themselves to give advice or encouragement of some kind Does my reply have that flavor? I ask for vote on this matter from anyone reading along. Especially moderators. I ask for brutal honesty Vote 1) It has the smell of Zen Devil 2) It was an appropriate response 3) I'm annoying dealing with Asperger's/ insecurity psychological blindspot 4) I'm a genius and everyone loves me for the most part . Use your own language and tell it like you see it if so compelled.
  4. What You've written reminded me of some AH Almaas material. In his work he studied developmental psychology and Object relations theory quite extensively. I just choose one of the excerpts from the following webpage. https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/negative-merging Thank you for responding . My hope is for you to gain some catharsis from this material. Or put another way, understanding through Love and healing . Or Love and healing through understanding. Genetic Source of Negative Merging It is important to consider here the genetic source of negative merging. Object relations theory would consider the source to be primarily the frustration and inadequate gratification in the interaction between infant and mother. This is clearly true, but we see another important, but rarely recognized, source: the infant is actually in a real merged relationship with its mother, not only a delusional one. In other words, the consciousness of the infant not only does not differentiate where a certain feeling is coming from, but is also in a complete state of empathy. The infant feels everything in the environment, especially in his mother. This is what it means to be in a merged state; it is a merged consciousness, not only a perception of common boundaries. Thus the mother’s state has a direct effect on the infant. Mothers know this phenomenon very well. Psychotherapists know this both from their empathic capacities and from the reports of their severely disturbed patients who cannot tell their feelings from those of others. During the symbiotic phase the infant is in complete contact with the mother’s consciousness. He feels her joy, her fear, her anger, her pain, her frustration, her weakness and so on. But he is not aware that these are the mother’s feelings, for he has no sense of a separate self. So what he feels and what mother experiences make up the content of his merged relationship with her. Pearl Beyond Price, pg. 246
  5. it snowed some yesterday and I was a bit confused. The reflection from the sun on the snow was too much for my light sensitive eyes. Wearing that hat made me feel somewhat egoic. My eyes and face are puffy because I eat too much sugar and junk food. Besides having other habits of ingestion which are frowned upon by most conventional folks. It provides uncommon perspectives. I claim neither the right hand path nor the left hand path. I’m simply on a path of my own choosing and would rather not define it beyond the examination of my shadow, the cultural shadow and what constitutes observing partial dimensions of the mystical realm through various sensitive schizophrenic perspectives.
  6. D Sometimes having a good cry can be like awakening from sleep. Yet different in that "I" cannot name it other than an indescribable understanding similar to Self-remembering. How can I gain a fullness from becoming emptied? Inner quiet returns. Anguish is now gone. Trust is present. For now anyway. My irreverence is now seen on the horizon,, It cares; yet It cares not "I" does not become "it" "it does not become "I" There's an existence of both and neither It is the place of no pity equal to a certain Understanding of openness of Being
  7. I Love/love/Love Women A few days ago Gesundheit posted a YouTube lecture given by Emerald. I just watched it . In the words of Chief Lodge-skins- "She makes my heart soar like a hawk". I love her. I Love her. I Love her wisdom. I Love her the way a stalker loves. By the way. We are all stalkers or Trolls. However you want express what the essence of infatuation is all about. Completely throwing oneself away like a fool and totally worshiping a person in one's own imaginal inner world. As a very unexpressive deadpan introvert, which I am, and a complete letdown to all women who expect me to be this expressive externally. Well,, this is my confession. I love others from a distance. I Love/love Loba and then I hate her and then I love/Love her again the next day. I Love/love Myioko. The gentle sweetness of her expressions and femininity. I also have Loves locally and the reliability of a fair weather friend to be honest. I may sound like a tortured soul but I feel peace and contentment. Years ago I was a perpetually tortured Nay-bob frequently in the throws of self pity. Moody and just a torture to others. Not so much these days. I am selfish but a lover of solitude and nature. Today I spent the whole afternoon gorging on chocolate ice cream and napping intermittently having pleasant vivid dreams. My apologies to anyone I've offended or embarrassed. I am harmless.
  8. I was thinking of posting in the other threads here on the concepts of using A.I. to learn or become human-like. We’re on the verge of having technology that uses holographic imaging technology capable of recording audio/video independently and transmitting information through to particular individuals in which the human hologram has been duplicated after. To put it succinctly, a person would have numerous holographic duplicates which would upload our individual experiences, interactions and relationships at a distance and then upon returning download the experiences. Holographic images morphing into holograms then basically becoming equal to an Astral body. Or if not accomplishing the task of helping individuals exercise their metaphysical capacities to the point of having independent Astral-Subtle-Causal bodies. Developing eventually into helping us to bridge the gap between physical and metaphysical occurrence of death of the body. This would occur by way of us all giving birth to a litter of holographic copycats lol,,,,, who return to base to help us grow or simply improve the quality of our existence. No more shitty vacations at distant tourist hotspots ? lol. Many here will see the overall basic concepts which are subject to morphing one way or another to accomplish the task we all wish for. Dare I say immortality,,, or at least a much richer quality of existence. Another inclusion here to accomplishing all of these tasks would be supercomputers using AI in the merging of holograms and humans. This would be a technological capacity which could also be used in the most terrifying ways. Having the checks and balances insuring the highest of ethical standards would have to first and foremost. I welcome comments and video’s which might contribute to these ideas.
  9. Laughter is sometimes the expression of understanding Laughter can be an expression of a polite acknowledgement Laughter can sometimes be a form of ignorance and the expression of mockery and arrogance If you think about everything long enough anything can be logical
  10. Processing Hatred I don’t have any children. What I comment on here is just my perspective from a distance. Yet also from my experience as a child who at times felt hatred for my parents, like all kids do on occasion. It’s just a part of being on this pain factory of a planet. If hatred arises. Let yourself feel it fully. I think too many parents get divided against themselves with the guilt they feel whenever they get angry with their children. Especially when the children are young and fairly innocent. When their children get into their adolescence and young adulthood. It is a little more understandable because as young adults we all go through belligerent spells of having our nose stuck up in the air or having it up someone else’s ass. In the process, just embarrassing family members nearly to death or outraging the shit out of them. Speaking hatefully towards someone has a higher price, contrasted to holding one’s tongue and maybe instead taking our frustration out on a punching bag,,, busting glass ,, splitting wood,,, chopping weeds,,, etc.,,, screaming into a pillow,,, or whatnot,,,,, Long story short if you feel angry towards someone. Feel it fully and just hate the shit out of them and get it out of your system. Try not to cuss them if possible. That’s a tall order and one I’ve failed at many times.
  11. Statements aimed at everyone- We're all liars and wishful thinkers caught somewhere in the layers of being well-meaning. The more angry you are at this statement, the more self-deceptive and asleep you are. Us introverts
  12. Some pithy comments from Martin Butler,,,,, Reminded me of this excerpt from the works of AH Almaas- Being Where You Are This process of locating yourself is a profoundly personal one, a subtle and sensitive unfolding of inner awareness that does not use obvious external signposts to tell you where you are at any given time. It requires discipline and patience, gentleness and attunement, because the only one who can know where your consciousness is is you. To truly be where you are requires a capacity for listening, a willingness to be open, and a curiosity about your own experience that most likely few people have ever shown toward you. What this calls for is the development of your ability to truly witness yourself, to be a pure and undistorted mirror for where and how you are appearing in the moment. Ultimately, this means seeing yourself without the aid of anyone else’s perspective, anyone else’s experience, or anyone else’s beliefs and judgments. It means not seeing yourself from the outside or locating yourself by where you are relative to external criteria. It is by seeing yourself from inside, from the center of your own experience, that you can discover your own truth, the untouched True Nature of what you are. The Unfolding Now, pg. 224 https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/being
  13. This is an annoying song.. It’s funny if you sing along with slightly changed lyrics; “I want to rock and roll all night and potty everyday. I like the punch of Tony Iommi’s Lead guitar in this song.
  14. The ‘redneck snowflake’ sailor self traveling with this ship of fools/space cruiser I am. Astral beings visit me. There are more than one category of these beings. They can visit me with this energy body they have that has a translucent shimmer about it which changes in density or perception. I perceive them more through a clairaudient state. They can also exist as mock-ups which play on my own psychological projections. All of this sounds quite flaky. Especially with the life I lead and the states of consciousness that are quite varied. As a redneck snowflake and milk toast warrior what else would be expected than something paradoxical and perhaps a bit controversial. An example such as the mystic realm approached through a schizophrenic state. My description of Astral beings could be way off with the technology that exists today which could work in conjunction with different dimensions and communities. Such as the existence of holograms and the existence of little known communities of folks who can operate with non-local consciousness. Throw in the leap frogging speed of technological advancement in nanotechnology and science in general. That’s why I say take a grain of salt with my sometimes outrageous commentary. Imaginative conjecture is a good descriptive phrase for putting your acquired knowledge into an “as if it were true” mental folder for use in remaining open minded while pondering differing ideas. I should confess that I’m a rogue student of the Diamond Approach Teaching and one that has fallen behind in both reading subject matter and exercising personal discipline in general. You can’t be all things to all people,,,, That’s a good excuse anyway,,,,
  15. Laughter and sex I was thinking about an experience a long time ago. A girlfriend started sucking my dick and I got the giggles. Then she got the giggles. When she got the giggles, it was the cutest thing ever. She couldn’t put in her mouth because she was smiling, trying not to, which made me giggle even more because it was so cute. We ended up laughing so hard I lost my hard-on. It was the most fun I ever had not getting a blowjob by the both of us having a laughing fit. If you’re fucking and begin to laugh as you have an orgasm and it’s a mutual experience. It’s a rare experience and a rich one as well.
  16. What is the neurotic mind set? Attention is dispersed and scattered. I've seen the phrase "discursive thought" used from the dissection and study of Buddhism and Advaita Vedanta. I can relate discursive thought to the neurotic condition. Also the phrase-" internal dialogue" from Neo-Shamanism. Being deliberate is a phrase that for me, is very rich. Being deliberate is a shortcut into a state of mindfulness. In being mindful, my attention is concentrated and not dispersed. The practice of 'cleaning my atmosphere' or 'cleaning the luminous egg surrounding my body' has to be remembered and carried out on an intermittent but continual basis. If not my states of consciousness, which are always in flux will enter into a downward spiral of psychic entropy. The concept and reality of each of us having a luminous egg surrounding us comes from shamanism corresponds to modern day research revealing the electromagnetic field which surrounds a persons body about the width of outstretched arms and extends upward to a varying degree but does so much more when we go outdoors into a natural environment. I've listened to Ken Wilber speak of this phenomena. Joseph Chilton Pierce has written about this as well. The atmosphere of the luminous egg or aura is cleaned by disconnecting the metaphorical hooks from other people who distract us. Sometimes through their claiming we are responsible for their lives or perhaps through attempts at shaming us for not meeting the standards of the collective ego. Having a clean aura or luminous egg translates into having inner quiet. You gather up all of your dispersed attention and are able to place it where you want at will. Make up your own rules in regards to morals. What the small still voice of awakened conscience relates to is the personal ethic more than contemporary social mores.* Your personal ethic is more encompassing than codes of moral behavior set in place by contemporary cultures. *What is the full meaning of mores? Mores are the customs, norms, and behaviors that are acceptable to a society or social group.
  17. Mechanical behavior = running on autopilot Often this allows the expression of negative emotions. Control of, or "holding one's tongue" is not an easy task. Especially when being confronted with something unpleasant. Maybe even an injustice. A quote from Red Hawk- Sometimes I eat the bear; sometimes the bear eats me. My degree of Being fluctuates. Morality is necessary but not sufficient. Awakened conscience is crucial in the effort of raising one's overall degree of Being. I awaken to some extent and then inevitably, I nap,,,, Not expressing negative emotions is very effective for increasing one's degree of Being. Maurice Nicoll- YOU HAVE A RIGHT NOT TO BE NEGATIVE’ “Now the Work says you have a right not to be negative...To be able to feel this draws down force to help you. You stand upright, as it were, in yourself, among all the mess of your negativeness, and you feel and know that it is not necessary to lie down in that mess. To say this phrase in the right way to yourself, to feel the meaning of the words: ‘I have a right not to be negative,’ is actually a form of self- remembering, of feeling a trace of real ‘I,’ that lifts you up above the level of your negative ‘I’s which are all the time telling you without a pause that you have every right to be negative.” V. 1, p. 161 BEARING UNPLEASANT MANIFESTATIONS “One sign of Being is the capacity to bear the unpleasant manifestations of others. Why is this a sign of greater Being? The answer is that you cannot do this unless you have seen in yourself what you dislike in others...When you have just criticized someone, go over what you said carefully and apply it to yourself. This neutralizes poison in you.” V. 1, pp. 168, 176
  18. Self Observation: The Awakening of Conscience: An Owner's Manual by Red Hawk
  19. ,,,,,,,,, Great Idea! @LastThursday I very much agree. Hope this idea gets some attention.
  20. You cannot count on me You can count on me to be an Ordinary Idiot sometimes You can count on me to be imperfect You can count on me to not even try at a crucial time,,, on occasion You can count on me to be the fuck up 37% of the time You can count on me to be the foolish fool every now and then You can count on me to be a Genial Idiot once in a while You can count on me to be an oblivious horndog; just like the 87% who are reading this You can count on me to be the inconsistent friend who does the right thing sometimes You can count on me to put my foot in my mouth and turn red-faced every-great-once-in-a-while You can count on me to display a character flaw (blind-spot/chief feature) that lets you forgive yourself for having the same sort of peculiarity, whatever it may be that horrifies you whenever you catch a glimpse of it You can count on me to be a Zigzag Idiot sometimes but not always If you hate someone, forgive them so you won't hate yourself You cannot count on me because I can't be all things; to all people I could go on but I've got some practical tasks to work on Have a nice day
  21. Todays I CHING Reading\Consultation My paraphrasing ,,,,,, It's one's own puritanical, self righteous ego that demonizes the sexual energy which divides a person against themselves. Themselves/ourselves = multidimensional aspects of both personality and essence. Puritanical self righteous is over stating it. Throwing the the coins this morning gave Line 4 and 6 of Hexagram 53 as a part of my reading. Line 4. The wild goose gradually draws near the tree. Perhaps it will find a flat branch. No blame. The flat branch represents those times in life when the person who is bringing his true self to maturity is placed in difficult situations. People formerly in his circle resent that he no longer takes part in their ego-activities. They misunderstand his behavior and challenge him to explain or defend himself, in attempts to draw him into ego-confrontations. He needs to say the inner No to their incorrect behavior, then ask the Sage in their presence to intervene with the egos in them. Thereafter, he allows events to develop without interference (he rests on a flat branch), and remains reserved with them until the Sage has intervened. Acting in this way removes all blame from the situation, for there is no longer any basis for discord. Line 6. The wild goose gradually draws near the cloud heights. Its feathers can be used for the sacred dance. Good fortune. From the Cosmic viewpoint, the metaphor of the cloud heights means "out of the clouds," out of the grasp of the ego, with its delusions, flatteries, fears, and doubts- out of confusion and disorder, and into clarity. Here, the true self is pictured as emerging to lead the personality, with all parts of the person unified into a single being, and a single psyche. The person is whole, complete, and in harmony with the Cosmos. The image given in this line can also describe the effect of an inner No we have said to another's ego-behavior. If we then turn the matter over to the Cosmos, it can discipline the ego and free his true self from its grip. However, when his true self then shows itself, it is important to remain on guard, stay neutral, and not open ourselves prematurely until his true self has become firmly established. This prevents the ego in him, which is still strong, from interpreting our openness as weakness, which would allow it to prey upon our true self. When this happens, it steals the victory and gains control over the relationship. In the words of the metaphor of this line, it plucks the true self and decorates itself with its feathers to dance the "sacred dance" of victory. The line can also indicate a person who has reached the goal of self-development as defined by the collective ego. The metaphor of the goose's feathers being used for the sacred dance points to a person's having sacrificed his animal nature in order to overcome his body's supposed evil influence. The self-flattery of being taken into the "heavenly realm" after having conquered his lower nature is the good fortune imagined. However, in "leaving the earth far behind," as Wilhelm's commentary puts it, he is actually leaving behind the source of his life-force; the earth is the living entity and consciousness that nourishes a person in every possible way. Beliefs that demonize the earth and our connection with it are the source of illnesses that can lead to an untimely death. By cutting himself off from his bodily nature, which, through his feelings, connects him with the earth's life force, he becomes a person "without a head" as described in Hexa- gram 8, Holding Together, Line 6, or a walking dead person. He lacks the ability to further connect with the Cosmic Whole. (See Glossary: Walking Dead Person.) The collective ego has erected its own monument of spiritual perfection: the perfected person who has fought evil in himself, and then crusades against evil in the world. The definition of evil is whatever the collective ego has designated as such, at any given moment: poverty, crime, chaos, etc. In this effort, the hero must necessarily see culprits that must either be overcome and repressed, or extinguished. These ideas have given rise to the great Crusades, wars, and Inquisitions of Western history, and the genocides that have occurred worldwide. The Sage teaches us that the word "culprit" has no Cosmic basis. Evil comes only from the mistaken ideas that each individual holds in his psyche. Each individual is solely responsible for what he permits to reside in his psyche, for inasmuch as he allows these ideas within himself, he separates from the Cosmic Whole. Chief among these destructive ideas are the ideas of there being a culprit, and of original fault. These ideas must not be allowed to give rise to outer action or to hostile thoughts, but are to be deprogrammed by each person's saying the inner No to them.
  22. An unaccomplished Seesaw Seer This describes how some of us are. Thinking that we know something and that we can justifiably council others. Why not? We seemingly know ourselves more intimately than we know others. No? Is this the root of our apparent wisdom? Apparently clear yet opaque so apparently not so transparent as we thought at first apparently. Until the emotional center becomes purified, a person is simply an unguided projectile. Among other things and such and stuff,,,, Why act stupid only to make it more difficult for others to take us seriously? We don't know I say. You go ask your others and see what they say... Thank you Ocke de Boer and I thank you for so much more, Ocke de Boer. Until we tame our wild selves... What is this we begin with? An unguided projectile or an Unguided Golum? We know not? Dot, dot, dot... Knock Knock Knock. Hello? Department of Transportation. Department of Transportation. Department of Transportation. Is this simply one's instinctual moving center echoing while we're grounded in the Belly center? Or perhaps ungrounded in a knot it would echo? No? I don't know. So I know not. A Seesaw Seer is pulled along the ups and downs of the emotional center. What is a placeholder...? Department of Human Services. Department of Human Services. Department of Human Services. Is this not simply just the Golden rule? Yes? No? Sness? Yo? Snot. Istoo. Isnot. Some of us observe others and how they argue while we hold our tongues and observe our own confusion of tongues. Knots perhaps now undone. Thanks a lot. We are traveling the road to integration and individuation. Slow down or prepare to stop. Work in progress. Become your own sovereign government and govern your many selves or maybe not. Either way... Thanks a lot. Brad Warner, Zen Master. Some say not. Because his spiritual materialism or Zen Devil appearance is not on display. Why? He is not a Zen Devil. See what I mean? Some will not see. Whether you do or not... Thanks a lot.