Zigzag Idiot

Definitely a negative aspect of red wasnt so sure if this represented a positive aspect of red?

@Aquarius I didn't understand a word of it but I enjoyed it immensely! Look forward to the English version. I was one of your first subscribers on your other YouTube channel.

To Have your Being is to render your ego harmless (perhaps,,,,,? 28 ‘For in him we live and move and have our being.’ - Acts 17:28 God, who encompasses ALL Being, nevertheless created separate beings who have everything individually, but who want to share it to increase their joy. Nothing that is real can be increased EXCEPT by sharing it. That is why God Himself created you. Divine Abstraction takes joy in application, and that is what creation MEANS. How, what, and to whom are irrelevant, because real creation gives everything, since it can only create like itself. Remember that in being, there is no difference between having and being, as there is in existence. In the state of being, the mind gives everything always. - ACIM chapter 4 . For you have denied the condition of his Being, which is his perfect blamelessness. Out of Love he was created, and in Love he abides. Goodness and mercy have always followed him, for he has always extended the Love of his Father. When you have accepted the Atonement for yourselves, you will realize that there IS no guilt in God's Son. And ONLY as you look upon him as guiltless, can you understand his Oneness. For the idea of guilt brings a belief of condemnation of one by another, projecting separation in place of unity. You can condemn only yourself, and by doing so, you cannot know that you are God's Son. For you have denied the condition of his Being, which is his perfect blamelessness. Im feeling a pull to dive back into the Science of Idiotism I encourage anyone who's interested to buy a copy of The Realized Idiot by Bruno Martin and help me make contributions to The Science of Idiotism. It would help if your were a reader of Gurdjieff books. This is not negative foolishness. Its more like Contemplative psychoanalysis that involves purification of the emotional center.

Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī, also known as Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Balkhī, Mevlânâ/Mawlānā, Mevlevî/Mawlawī, and more popularly simply as Rumi, was a 13th-century Persian poet, faqih, Islamic scholar, theologian, and Sufi mystic originally from Greater Khorasan. Wikipedia Born: September 30, 1207, Balkh, Afghanistan Died: December 17, 1273, Konya, Turkey Title: Mevlânâ, Mawlānā, Mevlevî, Mawlawī Buried: December 18, 1273, Mevlana Museum, Konya, Turkey

@seeking_brilliance Great idea to have a book study group in a Journal. Hopefully someone will join in. Nonetheless your doing a good job. I'm reading this journal so that in a sense, I'm reading the book somewhat vicariously.

@Toby Thanks for Sharing. Just discovered this last night. Bernadette Roberts is a modern mystic that I see as being in a league all her own. Without Peers as far as I know. Except for maybe Cynthia Bourgeault. IME Bernadette Roberts refers to Karlfried Graf Durckeim as she explains how the hara or the third chakra has a vital role in human consciousness. Ted Nottingham made a good video about Durckeim in the past. I've left it in case it would be of interest to anyone.

As a counterphobic enneatype six, you sound also like a counterphobic enneatype six. So maybe some study on this can help you to observe it in a larger frame of reference which might allow you to become free of it to a degree. You can Google Counterphobic enneatype six and get a lot of information. Below is a bit from a search I just did. The truly confounding element when it comes to typing Sixes is that there are two fundamentally different strategies that Sixes adopt for dealing with fear. Some Sixes are basically phobic. Phobic Sixes are generally compliant, affiliative and cooperative. Other Sixes adopt the opposite strategy of dealing with fear, and become counterphobic, essentially taking a defiant stand against whatever they find threatening. This is the Six who takes on authority or who adopts a dare devil attitude towards physical danger. Counterphobic Sixes can be agressive and, rather than looking for authorities, can adopt a rebellious or anti-authoritarian demeanor. Counterphobic Sixes are often unaware of the fear that motivates their actions. In fact, Sixes in general, tend to be blind to the extent of their own anxiety. Because it is the constant back drop to all of their emotions, Sixes are frequently unaware of its existence, as they have nothing with which to contrast it. From: https://www.eclecticenergies.com/enneagram/type6

A ship of fools I am with all of them fighting over the helm. Maurice Nicoll wisdom on human multiplicity and the pendulum CHAPTER 21 ESCAPING FROM THE LAW OF THE PENDULUM THE LAW OF THE PENDULUM “Our moods are all hung on to pendulums. We should not trust them. Unfortunately, we identify with them. We take them as ourselves. We say: ‘I feel,’ ‘I think,’ and so on. We forget that ‘Real I’ is in the centre of the pendulum-swing, and we allow ourselves to swing between ex- citement and dejection, between enthusiasm and depression, between over-valuation and under-valuation, between conceit and humility, and so on, endlessly. In all this there is no centre of gravity.” V. 1, pp. 328-9 THE LAW OF THE PENDULUM II “Our whole lives, ordinarily, are governed by the Law of the Pendu- lum. We all swing to and fro. When you are in one opposite you are unconscious of the other, and vice versa. You may have idle dreams of rising and rising, of progressing and progressing, of getting better and better, but all these are indeed idle dreams...What do you think self-knowledge means? It means knowledge of all sides of yourself... If you can see both sides of yourself, what you call your good side and your bad, then you begin to be conscious in opposites at the same time.” V. 1, p. 325 ON HAVING NO MIDDLE “The pendulum is the great thief within. I only remind you that you have to find some method of managing it; or else it will take away anything that it gives...If you let yourself identify mechanically with each of the two opposites in turn—that is, with one side and then the other side of the emotional pendulum, wholly believing each with your whole feeling of ‘I’—you will remain helplessly on the pendulum, swinging to and fro from excitement to depression, from depression to excitement...We have to draw the feeling of I out of the opposites. That means one attempts to withdraw the feeling of I from the feeling that one is good or the feeling that one is bad...The feel- ing of I can be squandered in infinite ways.” V. 5, pp. 1561, 1655-6 ON OBTAINING A MIDDLE “We have to observe the whole swing from one extreme to the other in order to discover our particular opposites...An increase in con- sciousness in regard to our emotional life through the making of the opposites conscious by following the swing in Time, and so seeing how they are connected, shifts consciousness gradually towards the middle zone of the pendulum, to a third place lying between the op- posites which becomes receptive of new emotions not on the pendu- lum. We acquire a middle.” V. 5, p. 1563 SEEING THE OPPOSITES “Try sometimes to see the opposite point of view to that which you hold...If the opposite is genuinely and with effort included in con- sciousness the sphere of consciousness is greatly increased and a number of unpleasant features in us disappear. Our one-sidedness, which causes our over-sensitive reactions and also our totally wrong ways of self-evaluation, is replaced by a broader, fuller consciousness. We can no longer insist we are right nor be cast down when proved to be wrong. We find it more difficult to be petty. In fact, we begin to escape from the prison of ourselves whose bars and gates result from our one-sidedness.” V. 5, p. 1521 THIRD FORCE “The Work teaches that there are three forces in every manifesta- tion. We see only two—if we see as far as that...Third Force lies between the opposites and so we can picture it as the mid-point of the pendulum-swing. If you take the feeling of ‘I’ out of both sides of the pendulum, then you do not feel yourself through the opposites and the feeling of ‘I’ moves to the centre, into nothingness, or, if you pre- fer, into not-somethingness. Here in the middle is the place or state where ‘Real I’ is.” V. 1, pp. 329-30 INNER SILENCE “Different ‘I’s, ranged along the orbit of the swing, wish to say now this and now that, as the light of consciousness touches them, wakes them to momentary life. To a limited extent one may permit them to speak, provided one has a distinct idea that neither side is right. Inner silence means being silent in oneself. It means not taking sides in yourself and so being silent. This is impossible if you identify with every ‘I.’ You may let talk take place on one side or the other, but you observe it and are in yourself silent.” V. 1, p. 334 THE FEELING OF NOTHINGNESS “When the Work says that a man must come to realize his own nothingness before he can be re-born, it does not mean that he must humble himself and so on, but that he must by long self-observation actually begin to realize that he is nothing and that there is no such person as himself. The object of this is to get into a position, psycho- logically speaking, between the opposites...Why is it so important to get somewhere into the centre of the pendulum and not swing to and fro? Because here, between the opposites, lie all the possibilities of growth. Here influences from higher levels can reach us. Here, in this place where one can feel one’s own nothingness (and where one is therefore free from contradictions), influences and meanings com- ing from higher centres, which have no contradictions, can be felt. Not regarding yourself as good or bad, not priding yourself on being just or otherwise, not thinking you are well-treated or badly-treated, not being caught by either movement through identifying, you come into this mid-position. This is not easy! With personality active, it is impossible.” V. 1, p. 329

Being ok with ambiguity Living with any ambiguity used to drive me berserk. Whatever situation I was a part of in the past, I wanted everything planned out ahead of time. I had absolutely no trust that things would unfold in the way they needed to. Larry McMurtry, in one of his novels described one character as being as noncommittal as the Buddha. That description has stuck with me. Probably just because I found it to be so funny at the time I read it. I'm not that ambiguous but I'm somewhere in the middle. Doesn't planning things out mean that you're not present? For me back then, much of the time I was living in a future that didn't exist anticipating possibilities which always included a number of doom scenarios. I can see in retrospect that a good deal of this was because I was consumed with a vague fear. I'm not saying that all my fear has been conquered but I'm not as consumed by it as I used to be. Some applicable Almaas quotes- All of Our Feelings or Emotions are Communications from the Heart All of our feelings or emotions are communications from the heart: they are reflections and reverberations of the basic emotional tone of the heart, which is love. And no matter how far removed from that quality of the heart they might be, as reflections they have something to reveal. So if you don’t follow them—if you say, "This is a bad feeling; I should just feel good . . . I should just feel love"—then you're not listening to the messages of your heart. If you take any emotion and really study it and follow the feeling itself, you will find that it will ultimately take you back to your original movement of love toward the Beloved. That is one of the central rationales on this path for becoming aware of your feelings: To move toward the Beloved, you activate whatever feeling is there at a given moment, you remove the repression, you feel it fully, in order to recognize what it is and understand it. The more that all of your feelings are understood, the more they reveal the deeper roots of those feelings in our true nature. What are they about? What are they telling you? Why do you feel angry? It's good to feel your anger, but you have to find out the reason for it. Remember what Rumi said: He doesn't have any stones to throw. He doesn't have anger, because the love is fully moving in its natural direction. Why would he be angry? If you're angry, it means that a barrier is still there. The anger is not bad, but it's not the end point. Its value is that it helps remove barriers; but first it is a message to us that there is a barrier. Love Unveiled, pg. 93 Grounding Awareness in Bodily Experience is Important Inner support implies that we need to be in touch with our experience. Inquiry is not a mental exercise, disconnected from ordinary reality. We have to be rooted in our everyday personal experience and in touch with our own thoughts, feelings, body, and behavior. Inquiry does not require us to leave our body or try to reach unusual transcended heights of perception—and we will not feel our inner support by doing so. Instead, we need to become more concrete, more down to earth, by delving into our own everyday experience. It is the embodied soul that is the entry to all the treasures of Being. When you are inquiring, it is important to keep sensing your body—to stay in direct touch with its movements and sensations. This includes the numbness, the dullness, or the tensions you may feel. To ground your awareness in your bodily experience is important because your essential qualities are going to arise in the same place where you experience your feelings, emotions, and reactions. They are not going to appear above your head, they are going to arise within you. So your body is actually your entry into the mystery. Spacecruiser Inquiry, pg. 294 Without Basic Trust We React According to Our Conditioning Now we can see how the presence or absence of basic trust is crucial to the initial step in the process of the transformation of any sector of the ego. This step is only completed by giving up the particular structure we have been holding on to. Basic trust gives you the capacity and the willingness to let go of the images, identifications, structures, beliefs, ideas, and concepts -- the remnants of the past that make up the ego. Implicit in this initial step is the second one: If you are able to surrender, then you are willing to be. You are willing to not try to change things, to not manipulate them, to not push and pull at them. You are willing to just be present, which is a sort of realization itself. First, then, is the death of the old; second is the realization of Being. If you don't have basic trust, you will react to what arises in accordance with your conditioning and will want your process to go one way or another. You won’t let yourself just be present; you’ll be tense and contracted. So basic trust is needed for you to be able to allow the ego to die, and also for you to be willing to just be, without reacting. Facets of Unity, pg. 26 from https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/basic-trust

I'm kinda tired of the Summer heat and humidity. Ready for fall weather to get here. I've been putting up security cameras around my house and driveway. The cameras have audio as well as night vision. For $20 a piece, they are a great deal. Really convenient also that I can access them through I phone or IPad. Allows me to see any traffic approaching the house. Should have done this a long time ago. The Source of Some of Your Anger by Dr. Jim Rosen ©2020 Dr. Jim Rosen You have a need to feel important and worthwhile. Not more worthwhile or important than other people, but no less either. If you think that someone is controlling you or disapproving of your lifestyle, you can easily get the idea that your worth as a person is being threatened. So you’re going to get angry. By lashing out with anger, you are trying to push away the other person’s control and regain your self-esteem. But the anger only gives you a false sense of control in a situation where you think that you lack it. It’s not really the anger or the striking back that put you in charge of your own life. Your real power, the real taking charge, is in your ability to choose how you’re going to respond in those situations. When you are the one who makes the choices, and then you stand by your choices, this source of your anger melts away.

Very much so. Oftentimes it's related to the idea below and that I'm trying to constrain and force the process in a certain way. In effect, setting up conditions beforehand that guarantees suffering in the future and not realizing that I'm doing it.

In the past I remember more than once of having such an inner torment that it was a distinct feeling of " I would not wish this on anyone." I respect your openness and you continuing to share your experience. Self hatred has been a part of my journey. Thinking it had been resolved only to later discover a deeper layer. Ive found it interesting and strange also that emotional pain can notiicably come in waves like the physical pain of a tooth or earache. Don't know really what that means,,,,but it reminds me that sometimes all I can do is to let go and allow whatever the experience is to unfold instead of fighting against something that will do nothing other than wear me down. There are a lot of subtleties it seems. A lot of back and forth,,,, sometimes revealing something unexpected and pleasant. I don't want to get in your space. Just felt like sharing some. Your sharing what you do will most likely be a help to someone else doing their work. In a way, were all in it together. Peace.

“I’m gonna fix brown rice everyday,”??‍♀️?? The epitome of 3 Mars essence types. Lots of adrenaline and sexual energy. Very embodied with their natural rhythm in expressive, raw, jubilant capacity for dance. Dusty Hill is Mars/jovial. That gives them some extra flair overall. I think they’re a riot, Hilarious and brilliant in their own way. Mars FORTHRIGHT, CONFRONTATIONAL, ACTION-ORIENTED Martials are brave warriors built for self-assertion and combat. Even their silence has an ominous quality to it, as if they are ticking over before the next outburst. Their eyes have a fixed and fiery stare, their voice is bullishly projected. With fast-moving adrenalin, their style of action is sudden and powerful, using gestures and movement that are willful, punchy and jerky. They relish causes to fight for or to campaign against, aiming for and achieving one goal after another. Socially, they are blunt and direct, not knowing how to be insincere with niceties or flattery. Martials are energetic in work, thriving on challenge and adversity. They favour the instantly effective physical approach, which can be over-forceful. When led by another, ideally a wise Saturn, they are loyal, painstaking and disciplined. As they are impetuous and quick-tempered, they fall easily into quarrels. Having released their adrenalin they quickly forget, and their animosity turns to impulsive, selfless generosity.

Any space that evokes more of a 'belly centered' quality for me will most often allow the intellectual center the space to settle down into just a receptive condition,,,, The flexibility of doing spontaneous 20 minute Centering Prayer meditations works out good for me. It's argued that just 2 of these /day has An accumulative effect.,,

Its only Friday. I thought it was Sunday.

More about 3 times 4 from R.C.L., a Spiritual Lawyer About integration and Individuating THE THREE REALMS These three levels we now call the realms of Body, Soul and Spirit. The realms follow the classic tripartite division. Body is the realm of the material world, Soul the realm of energy, including psyche and personality, Spirit the realm of ideas, qualities, cognition and mentation. In space our consciousness always emphasizes one of these three. This is the basic law of three the trinity which is found in all cultures of the world as a kind of spatial hierarchy. Like the four time-like functions, the three spatial realms constitute a basic structural law, a constitutional principle, that appears in all fields and scales of experience. Every phenomena has a physical, energetical and spiritual quality. On the microcosmic level, every electron has a body level where it appears and acts like a particle; a soul or energy level where it appears and acts like a wave; and a spiritual level where it has certain "quantum" characteristics, behaves in an unpredictable manner and has unique qualities. On the scale of human consciousness, all phenomena again appear in these three realms. For this reason each of our four functions has three levels. For instance, Sensing does not occur in the abstract, you either sense a thing an energy, or an idea; In space, every event, every phenomena, every time function, happens in these three realms. Spirit means the following fields of consciousness, the following experiences: animating vital principle; meaning; ideas; representations; quality; space-time continuum; intelligent or sentient part of a being; essential principle; significance; in corporeality; intellect; concept; thought;noesticity; event; information; pattern; gestalt; the abstract; ideation; idea, human brain; knowledge. Soul means the world of people; psyche; energy; wave; time; vitality; bio-plasma; Chakra; I or Chi; vital force; ego-self; self-other; sociality; individual; entity; mind as in body-"mind"-spirit; limbic system, mammalian brain; instincts. Body means physical; solid; matter; mass; space; particle; cerebellum, brain stem, reptilian brain; conditioned learning. To understand and integrate our consciousness, it is not enough to understand and improve the four functions, we must also understand the three realms. We must learn to identify and recognize where each component of our consciousness lies. This classification helps us to make sense of the chaos. It facilitates our thinking, allows us to better comprehend what is happening in the world around us and the inner world. By having a basic schemata to refer to, you can learn to verify a thought which may come to you. It is a kind of legal citation process, a structural analysis involving internal precedent checking. Is the thought complete, is it holistic? Does it have all three components, body-soul-spirit? What component is missing from the idea? Which realm is emphasized? Which function does the thought pertain to? Where in the overall schemata does the thought fit? What does that tell you about it? This is all part of the thought discipline process described in the Opening Statement. In addition to helping you to think better, learning to recognize what phenomena involve which realms also helps you to identify and sort out the functions. Knowing the three realms, understanding how they are different and how they work together, facilitates the fourfold integration process. It helps you to separate and strengthen the functions, and then to unify them. The integration process can be better understood by including the law of three. Recall that the problem with the four functions at first is their hodgepodge intermingling, where one function tends to dominate others, and all get stunted and weak. The problem at first with the three realms is just the opposite. They are completely separate from each other, even alienated. The body and mind are disconnected, too far apart. When we are into our bodies, we tend to lose our soul and spirit. The clicheé example is the muscle-builder with enormous body and tiny head, and even smaller mind and personality. Conversely, when into spiritual things, we tend to forget, even reject our body. Just look at some monks, nuns and priests. When into our psyche our personality, our soul we tend to lose both body and spirit. The problem is to bring these three separate worlds into one. We must strive to unite our physical consciousness, with our consciousness of our psyche and our spirituality. Again, like the functions, these three realms should be of equal importance. The spirit is not better than the body, and visa versa. But like the functions, we naturally tend to emphasize one realm to the detriment of the others. We need to observe our self and learn which one we emphasize. Then we need to make conscious efforts to boost the weaker realms. We need to bring the three realms into balance. For instance, an intellectual prone to the world of ideas would achieve balance with exercise, by developing the body. They also need to interact with people more and develop their soul. The spiritual tend to ignore the body, sometime even punish it for the sake of their spirit. They also tend to want to go live in a cave without the distractions of other people. The body and soul are as much our home as the spirit. All three realms should be cared for and respected. Likewise balance must be sought by the physically-oriented, those who spend all their time concerned with their bodies, how they look, what they weigh, what they eat, and how they exercise. They should also be concerned with their mind and soul. What we feed our head is just as important as what we feed our stomach. A good heart is as important as a pretty face or healthy body. Finally, there are those who emphasize their social life above all else. They would rather talk than eat or read. They are constantly talking, to them self and others, and usually they are quite in love with the sound of their own voice. They are devoted to personal issues, to themselves and to intimacy with others. They take themselves very seriously and can talk about themselves for hours. The soul is important, but it is all too easy to become self obsessive, "overwhelmed with me". Both the body and the transpersonal spiritual elements must be included for the soul to develop harmoniously, for individuation to be possible. Another basic law of the individuation process is that failure to unite the three realms will obstruct the integration of the four functions. After the functions have been strengthened and separated, and are otherwise able to begin their backward trek to integration, they will not be able to do so unless the realms are also in a process of balancing and uniting. The total integration of consciousness into Awareness, super consciousness, as described for instance by Jung's individuation process, requires the three realms to be brought together into a unified field of awareness where each component supports the other. From http://www.lawsofwisdom.com/course-overview/statement-of-the-law/laws-of-human-consciousness/ There is much more on this page about Integration, the four functions, Jung and Freud's interaction, Jean Houston and Robert Masters work with Lsd back in the day, Paul McLean and the triune brain.

More mellow

Some mellow 70's music

We are living in the Age of Information. The Age of Aquarius. Guru's are passé. No longer necessary. I don't know if that applies to Spiritual Masters or not, I know that some Spiritual Masters walk the path of the Malamat. Also known as the Way of Blame. They are the eaters of suffering. I believe the more influences we can have the better. We can take life as a Teacher. Trees are good too. The higher in Consciousness can SEE the lower but the lower in Consciousness cannot SEE the higher. grain of salt,,,,,