Zigzag Idiot

5-1-2019 21 Biting Through Line 2 38. Separating/Opposition I received this same changing line 2 days ago. It's about being under a spell and becoming free of it. The Cosmos is trying to help me to become free of it. If I resist this help and continue to blame wrong things, the Oracle councils that I will only create another fate for myself.

Have you ever thought about becoming a Professional Massage Therapist?

@Preetom I pretty much agree. Also what Leo said in the last video about how language itself is dualistic,,,,and the confusion caused. For instance, I used the word Self in my post above which I'm surprised no one jumped all over and lined me out, parroting the wisdom that there is no self. Which, by the way, I agree with. The ego is illusory. In the forum here, people (me included) are often talking past one another and don't even realize it at times. Because there is so much nuance in how a lot of words are used. Not to mention useful concepts which get interpreted differently. Through on top of that the different traditions which seem at odds on the surface. Its a recipe for confusion at times for sure.

I know without a doubt there exists the phenomena of Self Remembering and Self Forgetting. Checked out the book. Looks very good. Thanks ?

? That's a good feeling. Empty yet Full,,,,,

I've had a twice daily practice of Centering Prayer meditation for a couple of years. In this method objectless awareness or non-conceptual awareness is cultivated. I haven't experienced any compulsions or problems with my memory from this practice. While everything about hasn't been pleasant, I haven't experienced anything that wasn't beneficial. My introduction and learning was through Cynthia Bourgeaults teachings.

You can also go home wearing one sock,,,,

I agree with this also. Although I didn't say one couldn't enjoy,,,,,

I agree. To awaken means basically moving against what the variety of all modern Cultures hold up as ideal.

4-30-2019 3 Making a New Beginning Lines 2 and 6 61 Inner Truth ??? Pondering ?

When the movie The Sixth Sense came out, it really had an effect on me. I Invented a homemade practice I called 'playing dead' where I would escape to a mountain top in the national forest and sit for a couple of hours and just imagine myself dead like the characters in this movie. It produced some novel experiences as well as some inner quiet (oddly enough) which I was in bad need of at that time. Doesn't seem like 20 years has passed. Death IS sneaky,,,,,

When focusing on practicing mindfulness, DELIBERATE is my mantra, in a sense. Being deliberate seems to really capture the essence of mindfulness in a felt way. The Intellectual Center has the slowest speed of the three centers. The Kings are very deliberate. The Emotional Center is quicker. Which causes the angry word to be spoken before the Intellectual Center can have influence. The Instinctive/Moving Center is by far the quickest. A good Tennis player is an example. Even a better example is if the tennis player is being chased by a pack of pit bulls. The quickest part of the Intellectual Center is called the formatory center and only gives stimulus response answers which can often be witty but most often are fairly shallow. The talking trees in Lord of the Rings to me are embodiments of the 'Kings' - the Intellectual Center as a whole. Some say that Brilliance can only come from essence and Being and not conditioned personality.

If I wasn't an Idiot, I would take Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson instead of Power Of Now.

@tsuki I copied this paragraph from your quote in Sacred Space Journal. I'm thinking it could apply to what I put below. Any thoughts? In trying to develop the will, the most fatal pitfall is to confuse will with the chauvinism of the ego. Will is not willpower, virility, obstinancy, or hardness. Will is unity of desire. Will expresses itself best against no resistance when its action passes unnoticed. Only when the mind is in a state of multiple desire do we witness the idiot agonizations of will-power. Pitting oneself against various oaths, abstentions, and tests is merely to set up conflicts in the mind. The will always manifests as the victory of the strongest desire, yet the ego reacts with disgust if its chosen desire fails. The magician therefore seeks unity of desire before he attempts to act. Desires are re-arranged before an act, not during it. In all things he must live like this. As reorganization of belief is the key to liberation, so is reorganization of desire the key to will. From Carroll, Peter J.. Liber Null & Psychonaut: An Introduction to Chaos Magic (p. 55). Red Wheel Weiser. Kindle Edition. Integration - Christian symbology - Alchemy - Chaos Theory Four functions of Consciousness work in conjunction with Four Chaos Attractors In the Law of three, three forces manifests a new arising Active Force Thinking Circuit attractor Passive Force Feeling Point attractor Egoic Consciousness Neutralizing force Sensing Torus attractor New Arising - Willing Strange attractor Being -Three Centered Knowing - Intuition Thinking, Feeling, Sensing are all interchangeable acting as any of the three forces. Work in Progress. I'm playing,,,, Comments welcome

Good. Clip Martin Butler refers to in his podcast above. Very good to ponder.

4-29-2019 21. Biting Through. Lines 2 and 3 14. Possession in Great Measure The changing lines of hexagram 21 cautions me about self righteousness

Way to go!! Your conscious suffering with this will pay back good dividends. One day there will be no cravings.

@Karla Great thoughts in your reflection video about human tendency to suppress things. The definition you gave of the Devil. How suppression of shadow elements only makes only them grow stronger. One of the things that is really stressed in A Course In Miracles is the human tendency to "dissociate" almost constantly. Just the same thing that you mention. I would say the number 1 thing in ACIM though is the idea of forgiveness and all it entails. Theres a part of me that still wants to puke or cringe when I bring up ACIM. I had such a strong prejudice about it for years. The Name - A Course in Miracles - It sounds so new agey,,,, Puke Based on Christianity - Everyone thinks of church and feeling guilty. Being a square and having no fun.,,,, puke puke The text was channeled from Jesus - Good God, How ridiculous and naive I must sound,,,, More Puke Yet the text has been so meaningful for me, I quote and refer to the book anyway. ??

4-28-2019 24 Returning Lines 1,3 and 4 62 Preponderance of the Small

@tsuki Thanks! Im watching it now,,,

Ouuu good.

Sensing the body is key in separating thinking and feeling. Integration and embodiment happen together. Alchemy and Integration The fourfold nature of consciousness is a basic law. Knowledge of this law stretches back to the dawn of history. Evidence of the apprehension of the fourfold ness of our experience can be found in nearly every culture on Earth. In the West we have the tradition of the four elements arising in ancient Greece, if not before. Everything could be reduced to the four elements of earth, air, fire and water. Prematurity continued in Western traditions, both within Christianity and elsewhere. The basic symbol of Christianity, the cross, represents the four with one function emphasized, the feeling function of God as Love. Even though the fourfold cross was the basic symbol of Christianity, Church doctrine favored the laws of the trinity (father/son/holy-ghost) over that of the maternity. In the West the most important traditions emphasizing the four continued outside of the church in the hidden or occult traditions such as magic and alchemy. The great twentieth- century psychologist Carl Jung has written extensively on the psychological nature of these occult traditions. He found that the psychological symbolism of the four elements was the basis of medieval alchemy. The Alchemists search for gold was actually a secret search for perfect integration of the four psychological functions. This spiritual quest had to be disguised as chemistry to avoid the inquisition. From http://www.lawsofwisdom.com/course-overview/statement-of-the-law/laws-of-human-consciousness/

4-27-2019 17 Following Lines 2 and 3 43 Resoluteness/Breakthrough

Advocating for gog I'm advocating for Gog to be given another chance because there's a part of my nature that seems to be just like a part of his nature ? and in the past I've been shown Mercy by people who didn't really know me. I don't know Gog at all really. We've exchanged a few emails. When I asked him why he was banned from the forum he wrote this back to me. I asked him if I could use his own words in advocating for him and he said that would be fine and so I pasted it below: The reason I got banned from actualized was because I became very paranoid about the nature of some of the other posters, thinking them to be representatives of an oppressive class, the idea that they were oppressive being part of my paranoia. I am idealist when it comes to war. War should be as subtle as possible, with minimum pain or repression inflicted . In my delusional state of delusional psychosis, I came to believe that some of the other posters were responsible for the wars going on at the moment, such as has been happening in Libya or Syria, and I challenged some of them in private messages with somewhat psychotic outbursts. Leo personally banned me for "abusing the PM system". From a still slightly delusional perspective, the ban only came after I PMd someone called "Mount Bananas" who had made a post saying "This is a distraction, the account should be deleted, I have written to Leo and the Moderators and they have taken no action, can someone please delete this account". Such a post seems very strange to me, even now when I am relatively sane, but there is probably nothing to read into it. At any rate I PMd him calling him "Stalin" and asking if he could find out whether "Gaddafi was still being held by Boko Haram", something that probably is a complete fabrication of what happened anyway. I freely admit this was a psychotic outburst, and after writing that I was banned. Zigzag Idiot- This occurred just before Leo went on his last solo retreat. I told Gog I would make this appeal after Leo returned and everything settled down. @Leo Gura @Charlotte @Serotoninluv I just ask for an acknowledgement that this message has been seen and considered by Leo. Thank you

An analogy about psychological integration My grandmother would sometimes put her hearing aids in a drawer. I would walk by hours later and hear them echoing to each other with the batteries almost depleted. Because they weren't turned off, the second that she laid them in the drawer, the slight tap would be picked up by one and amplified through its little speaker and would begin a chain reaction in which they would be "singing back and forth to one another in a continual chain reaction of sound. This is comparable to monkey-mind and of being psychologically unintegrated. Before integration, thinking and feeling are entangled and constantly triggering one another. Integration involves disentangling thinking and feeling. Emotions which are negative are entangled thinking and feeling which can become stored as tensions in the body. Emotions which are positive come from a harmonious blend of thinking and feeling and are expressions of Love. Psychological integration involves disentangling the intellectual-emotional complex to where they can then be consciously harmonized. This amounts to freedom in being in possession of ones own attention to direct consciously by an autonomous Will. Although this is a process which takes time, it occurs all at once. We can become still and quiet inside.