Zigzag Idiot

On this last YouTube, the insights you gave about looking at the clock during meditation was interesting and helpful. It's something that's been discussed a little by Journalers here in the recent past. I pasted the video since I mentioned it in case someone wanted to view it.

Just finished watching. Woo Woo doesn't spook me off. It just goes into the 'what if' category. Especially when it comes from someone who has some degree of credibility like Him. I found his mention of 5d Reality very interesting along with the idea of ascension being a metaphor for activation of a higher body and disappearance of the ego. I forget the term he used for higher body.

I understand Matt Kahn better now. I get him. Yesterday was a rich experience. To be lighthearted is key in many ways. To know means to know all. Not to know all means not to know. In order to know all, it is only necessary to know a little. But, in order to know this little, it is first necessary to know pretty much. (Gurdjieff)

@Anderz I arrived at dry fasting intuitively in 2015. Taken as an exercise in conscious suffering, my body has never transformed more quickly. Ocke deBoer uses the phrase -- bossing the Automaton around -- in describing carrying out practices of discipline. Utilizing this phrase has a distinct effect of clarifying and reinforcing my intentions. It re-enforces the concept that I'm am not the body. The ability to boss the Automaton around seems to strengthen witnessing presence. At a certain threshold in doing any fast but especially a dry fast, I experience an inflow of new subtle energy that I take to be chi or Prana. It's then that I feel my body is energized by this new, finer energy. Intuitively I feel it's this life force or chi that feeds not only my Automaton but my very being. This kind of Conscious suffering is simple but not easy. I draw a line between bossing the Automaton around and bullying myself. The former feels like discipline/love and the latter feels more like unloving masochism. It feels like the Witness can feed on Impartial Love/Chi but requires a balancing act of sorts.This balancing act is a whole subject unto itself. Ive been a fan of Nassim Haramein for a few years. I'm enjoying your Journal!

What he says really doesn't contradict this. Most of his quotes I pasted are after 47:00. I once had a theory God often used kids and old people in their 'second childhood' as instruments to 'mess' with us when it was needed in realtime.

@d0ornokey I feel the same way and have subscribed to his YouTube but for now I'm not going to allow myself to think about such an ambitious undertaking in using the excuse I'm a stones throw from being a wore out old man. Good luck ttom,,, give it hell!! ?‍♂️?

"All is one, now go fuck yourself" Make peace with your inner child "I'm here to resolve the madness" "I was brought here to free you from the shit that doesn't work." Quotes above from Matt Kahn in this video making an argument AGAINST shadow work. @Wisebaxter Thank you for sending this video link to me last night. Metanoia = reversal "Break on through to the other side" - more Jim Morrison ?

There's an old saying that sex is what makes the world go around. Gurdjieff countered this notion saying it's not sex that makes the world go around but negativity does. The momentum of the world is propelled by negative emotion and this is a major ingredient in spiritual sleep. This is connected with the idea of awakening and not being a puppet of reactivity in accord with group think. People are afraid of being alienated from the herd. Projection comes from the subconscious in which people extract elements they don't want to be responsible for and then pin it on others in their outer world. Many have connected this tendency with the phenomena of scapegoating others. Let's find someone to scapegoat so we can relax for the time being while it's someone else in the spotlight. Stuck in duality of good and bad, (blue) sheeple of fear point to those awful sinners. The (orange) ambitious materialists point to the unambitious ignorant losers sustained by others tax dollars. Better not become one of them,,,, The (green) self righteousnessly condemn those in the territory they have just traveled through,,, This idea of negativity propelling the world would align more with power than competence. Look at the news media and how people's attention becomes hooked or the advertising industry sending a constant barrage of messages telling us what we should want or be afraid of and how it splits one against themselves in comparison to others. The fundamentalists of the religions constantly shaming people and instilling fear,,,, I could go on but instead of a nickel, I'll stop at two cents.

@Yellow_Girl Good recommendations you give. Fasting is so powerful and simple and a great initiator into different facets of healing. In connection with the second recommendation, I've had helpful insights from pondering spontaneity juxtaposed to reactivity. Reactivity seems to happen from ones contracted and fearful conditioned ego and spontaneity is the action of the True Self at ease in the present moment connected to a larger context and a state of flow. Spontaneity seems to cultivate the capacity for more spontaneity.

5-16-2019 59. Dissolution/Dissolving Line 6 29. The Abyss/Danger

Thanks! ? A girlfriend once told me that I was similar to Jack Nicholson's character in the movie As Good As It Gets. I represent the gray area perhaps. Also In childhood, a friend of my Mothers who was well educated and traveled was visiting when she saw my collection of banana stickers running vertically restuck onto on the front of the refrigerator and named it with a fair amount of theatrics. It stands out in memory because she kind of made a big deal about it. Some of my compulsive tendencies are not very flattering. Being lighthearted helps me integrate some of these aspects and not make a problem or a big deal about it. It's not a big deal in my life. So far as being a problem, it's way down on the list of things which cause me suffering or worry. I sure don't mean to make light of this tendency in regards to other people though because I know in a lot of situations it's a major disruption and a source of suffering in their life. Centering Prayer meditation has been good for me in this regard because it's all about letting go of thoughts.

I've worked in the outdoors for years. This is my collection of empty used up chapstick dispensers. The Graduates or Alumni. Chapsticks that get ruined going through the clothes dryer don't get to become Alumni. They get thrown away. Somewhere I have another lost collection to go with these,,,, I have a theory that people who are a little OCD are naturally gifted systems thinkers. Maybe,,, maybe not,,,?‍♂️

My first and favorite book on Numerology. Never found any others who really compare. also by same Author.

@now is forever Mmmmm that needs some cornbread with it,,,

Oops ,,, missed yesterday 5-14-2019 61. Inner Truth Lines 5 and 6 19 Approaching Jointly 5 -15-2019 12 Being Halted

My concentrating at times on the spiritual practice of not complaining or expressing negative emotion I'm afraid can sometimes easily be interpreted as preachy or self righteousness. Especially if you've been one who happens to be "in the soup" at the time. We all go into the soup periodically whether or not we want to admit it. Those who don't go there have usually have done so, so much in the past that they are beyond judgement of others in regard to this. Using one's expressing of negative emotion as a gauge of spiritual development is an honest indicator. It's usually not very flattering though because it's a tough thing to do and promoting this kind of assessment is never going to be widely popular. The other day I used some emoticons in a post on my IPad and when I later read it on my I phone one of the emoticons showed up as a ♂️. Needless to say It changes the whole tone of a post. I had to go copy this one and couldn't even find one on my IPad. In case I've sent you a message recently and this symbol was typed in which made it seemed peculiar,,,, now you know. I had forgotten about this but now I'm going back to try to figure out which one of the emoticons changes over different operating systems.

I agree with @Space and would also like to have a link. I see wisdom in your caveat.

2 minutes

@DrewNows It was my interpretation also that that would be ok,,, a relief valve where open book type people could process shadow out here in front of God and everybody. Sounds risky but I will probably jump in at least once in a while if it takes off.

The Looking Glass Self - I am who I think you think I am This is so relevant to self observation and Inquiry and also a perfect description of what in the Fourth Way is called 'inner considering'. A very prevalent but specific neurosis in most everyone which disperses our precious commodity of attention available for one's own direction. Reminded me to search you tube again which resulted in discovering a good fresh one,,,,, just 2 minutes long - Of all the videos I've seen of Leo's, this is the one which I find speaks the most about this neurotic tendency. Inner considering starts the process of ego backlash. IME and why it's so relevant for all of us to understand and recognize it. If we understand, our chances are better for putting a stick into the spinning spokes of this form of monkey mind.

I visit there sometimes. Nisargadatta describes it well - "Nothing is wrong anymore".

I've admitted to my tendency in the past of being a complainer and being blind to the utter uselessness of it. It is something which still returns at times, like when I'm under a lot of stress. Complaining is unnecessary suffering. I like this video Serotoninluv shared in his Journal. It speaks to this idea of things that are slow healing. As well, It speaks to why our inner state can change so drastically from deficiency back into fullness and flow when the light of Consciousness touches on a shadow issue and healing occurs. It helps me to understand the ups and downs of life. Especially while engaged in the process of shadow work. Next week some other issue may rise to the surface from the subconscious but being aware of a larger frame of reference and how healing can sometimes play out by sitting with issues can give one some space in which to let it happen.

5-13-2013 24. Returning A small part of the text concerning hexagram 24 - Returning also indicates the direction in which the path of development leads: back to the person's original nature. It does not lead forward, through cultivating virtues or becoming something we are not, but is a process of continuous subtraction of what we have falsely added, thus to allow the True Self to resume its path toward maturation. Each step on this path leads to increasing light and relief. One takes this path through ceasing to look outward for the solutions to problems, to look inward instead to the choices that have been made. Each hexagram illuminates some hidden part of the psyche, helping us to discover our true nature.

5-12-2019 54. The Marrying Maiden/An Untenable Situation. Line 6 38 Separating/Opposition