Zigzag Idiot

In my mind a placeholder is someone so independent minded yet trustworthy that they act on one’s behalf when it’s needed while one is absent. They don’t seek influential power but act only from a place of benevolence. Their humility compliments their confidence like a cool breeze on a warm day. They are the good Samaritans who do not judge.

I just woke up from a dream. I had taken a load of tree length logs to sell. The place I sold them was where I used to market my cattle across the state line over in Oklahoma. Which is a strange idea,,,, I was standing out in the in the parking area talking with aqaintences when they called out to me over a loud speaker. “Mr. Smith, could you please move your truck? It’s holding up others in the unloading line,,,” She then went on to say- Your invoice and check are fastened to your truck. We thank you for your business. As I broke away from those who I had been chatting with I began to look in the direction of where I had parked. I found to my amazement that the invoice and check was about 10 feet by 50 feet in size which made my log truck look almost tiny in comparison. I hurried over and spoke with the owners of the marketplace for just a second as I started the truck and let it build air. End of dream.

The Science of Idiotism is about the hindrances to becoming a Self Realized Being, plus other stuff. The term Idiot here is drawing an the old Greek usage of it as: being oneself,,unpretentious ,,,, But it is used also simultaneously as the standard modern usage of fool because until we 'have our Being', life is experienced on the emotional pendulum connected with dualistic thinking and we are pretty much just a torture to the world, of some kind or other. I used to be an a epic complainer in addition to Alcoholic and coward. After that, I went around depressed and with a long sad face because I couldn't drink alcohol and party it up forever. Some people can but I realized I couldn't. The Science of Idiotism is a little known teaching from the mystic George Gurdjieff. Bruno Martins - The Realized Idiot - is about the only book written solely about The Science of Idiotism. It's very good. I recommend it. You can find a little here and there with a google search. Zigzag idiot is #9 on the Ladder of Reason. Of all the Idiots, I thought this one made the best screen name. I've been working on my self for a few years doing self inquiry. Keeping this Journal out here in front of God and everybody meshes well with the Gurdjieff work of Self Observation and Self Remembering. The whole lot of us are just bad full of bullshit, says Gurdjieff. Justifying,,, self deception,,, Kundabuffer he called it in his book Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson. I really like AH Almaas's The Diamond Approach. It's Gurdjieff,,, modernized plus psychological explanation of things like our defenses against inadequacy. Is it a schizoid splitting off and sticking ones head in the sand? or do we employ a Grandiose self to shield against inadequacy. This work which includes, very much processing our shadow material can be very painful and destabilizing. Being light hearted can amount to good strategy if it can be sincere and natural. This Work teaches we project any repressed guilt we may have out onto others. I've observed this in myself over time. Also, we don't have to be negative. The practice of not expressing negative emotions has shown me the existence of my own spiritual sleep. We wake up and although might never sleep as deeply again, spiritually, we take naps as E.J. Gold put it. It's very difficult sometimes to just simply feel , without repressing negative emotions and not give expression to them. It pays out big dividends in 'spiritual coin' though. Remind me of this, if, in later post, I go off on a angry emotional rant.

What’s one of the last things that David Koresh said? ”is it hot in here or am I crazy?”

Technically, we are all narcissistic. At least at some point. As children we all have some degree of selfishness to grow out of. Which some/many never do. Narcissism = self absorption / self centered / self concerned It’s a basic ingredient for survival. Most of the finger pointing which so prevalent is for the most part towards those who exhibit pathological narcissism. What is this phenomena? Projection, mostly. More than likely. What’s missing with the accuser's? Integration and Individuation. These are people who have to identify others who are exhibiting the very thing which they can not admit to seeing in themselves. It’s normal self preservation. But there’s a lot going on there,,,,, we all have to deal with it and as always, it’s easier to see in others. That is both narcissistic tendencies and projection. Powerful phenomena to study in others so we can apply it to ourselves. This is an understanding which makes forgiveness possible or overlooking a possible grievance. Fundamental and Pathological Narcissism Fundamental narcissism, the specific and most central manifestation of the disconnection from the essential core of the self, the Presence of being, underlies all other forms of narcissism. Pathological narcissism is a distortion or an exaggeration of fundamental narcissism. Fundamental narcissism is an intrinsic property of the ego-self, which is the self as experienced in the dimension of conventional experience. The Point of Existence, pg. 91 Narcissism is the Loss of Essential Identity Narcissism is not simply alienation from being, but more specifically it is the loss of the Essential Identity. Given our discussion of the function of the Essential Identity to allow identification with one's true nature, it is clear that this loss is the central factor in our incapacity to know ourselves as Being, and thus, in our narcissism. The Point of Existence, pg. 148

Excerpt from Almaas Glossary Ego Development and Basic Distrust To the extent that the environment provides adequate holding, the child can develop in the context of a continuity of being that allows and supports the individuation of the soul—one’s unique embodiment of Being. Because there are degrees of holding and of impingement, and because no holding environment is without failures, we typically develop a real (essential) and false (egoic) self in varying proportions. Basic trust is usually not totally missing, but it is seldom complete. To have absolute basic trust is to be completely realized. //—————————————/ https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases

It doesn't matter what genre. It doesn't have to be inspirational. It doesn't need to be explained. Everything is welcome. Sad, goofy, angry, happy, inspirational, weird, profound, profane, etc.,,,,

Hey, you know no one thing newly. You non-adversarial adverbial you. Until you do. When everything is one. There is no Knowing two. Until you do. Then time begins again and the world becomes ordinary dookie do. Do you realize real eyes realize real lies,,,,,,, Really? No. You knew no one thing anew. THEN YOU DO. Wake up. You know? You know that one eyed man in the land of the blind is three, but acts like he's one, not two. At once, he's being mechanical Jack, Queen who is all feeling and King of Intentionality of attention. This Being is borne anew from Borneo. You horny ole careless, carefree, yet careful you. THERE you are acting as if you don't give a care. But secretly,,,,,,, you do! But sometimes I don't. I'm a flawed human being and so are you. You are somewhat like me and I am somewhat like you. Can You observe yourself in the midst of negativity and stop. Sometimes I'm able to but not always. It's difficult. It's difficult to just observe and not get lost in self-criticism. This is the work.

To say this masterpiece evokes strong and varied feelings,,,, It's still an understatement.

A lot depends on the worldview of those who are around you. It invites trouble. Especially when you're surrounded by fundamentalists of any religion with exceptions. Referring to oneself as God or being one with God has a nuance to it that many people will overlook. To feel or experience it is one thing. It's cheapened when it's stated verbally. But perhaps not 100 percent of the time. I read everyone's response after I wrote what I did above. We're all close to understanding one another it seems.

Song from my adolescent years I rediscovered. It’s 5:30 in the morning. Breakfast is finished. I’m laying in a warm bed. It’s still dark outside. I feel comfortable and good kind of lazy.

Here's a good example of independent mindedness. 55 second clip In my adolescent years. I had a "bad" LSD trip. Actually it was the comedown that became very unpleasant. In hindsight, this was simply an onset of fear. About 5-6 years ago at age 52. Within a 6 -8 month period, I took LSD at least 30 times. Most often at doses of 400-600 micrograms. Not once did I have a bad trip. I believe bad trips occur with lower doses when doubt and fear enter as the trip begins. With a good stout dose. At onset (30-45min) one is overwhelmed and hurled into this experience leaving no time for one to drift in doubt allowing fear to develop. This is my opinion anyway. Note; Set and setting,,, Having a safe and secure environment for tripping is very important.

I was listening to a YouTube on the long awaited Pi Phone and got really excited about what I heard. Several ideas formed in a holistic way complimenting each other. With a focus on the elderly using an AI that makes ease of use in a way that eases the burden of their adult children and grandchildren improving the quality of life for all. An AI that acts on their behalf, growing more in tune with what would be their choices and actually providing choices for them when practical. This kind of interaction would promote learning because of neuroplacticity and decrease their overall fear that’s so common with ,,,, confusion. I began trying to express my insights on a post in the forum a few days ago. Didn’t do a very good job. Oh well,,,, If A.I. is used in a psychologically maleficent way against humanity. We’re fucked. This comes from a force that can be continual and have disastrous effects through exhaustion of its targets (victims). There have already been reports of suicide in teenagers interacting with chat bots. My hope is an ethic that comes to fruition that has the potential for being a true protector. That’s the kind of vibe I was getting the other day. Leo seemed to dismiss what I was getting at and another forum member replied with “just fake news”. 🤷‍♂️ But then again I wasn’t expressing myself very clearly and the promotional YouTube may very well be considered as fake news. Stupidity is its own punishment. That applies to everyone but not equally it seems,,,

I'm listening to another Pi Phone promotion this morning and it seems to be addressing many different ideas in a way that gives me hope instead of suspicion. One of the first topics discussed was focusing on older people who have more trouble keeping up with technological changes that's so common with cell phone technology and related issues. First off, the Pi Phone will be created in a way that it falls under the category of durable goods. It will last at least 10 years. Utilizing new nano-technology now available such as self healing glass and integrated with AI. By focusing on the elderly with promotions aimed at them. This shows responsibility with offering a product that will ease the burden of family members and caretakers farther along than one might expect. By utilizing AI, which can act on behalf of each individual in offering them more choices that, on their own, would have not been thought of. This in itself promotes learning and neuroplasticity. Another by-product in addressing this issue is a potential increase in the well being of the elderly. The Pi Phone will be very easy to use utilizing A.I. technology. Older people are often marginalized and this is sad. It is also true that very often they can be an absolute pain in the ass. This paradoxical relationship which many of us have with our elders often highlights our selfishness. Ponder on the points made in the following YouTube and add to the notion of its practicality and its holistic qualities if inspired in some way.

Random favorite quotes from biographies "By this time my inward mirth had reached a zenith". - Yogananda The Autobiography of a Yogi by Swami Yogananda : Chapter 04 By this time my inward mirth had reached a zenith; I unceremoniously made for the train, whistling for departure. Amar followed with the official, who was credulous and obliging enough to put us into a … Feb 13, 2017 · His fellow cowboys were openly amused when Roosevelt urged his horse forward, and instead of saying, “Giddyup,” he would command, “Hasten forward quickly there!” - Theodore Roosevelt

@Natasha Tori Maru In pointing this out. You are now spiritual materialist. I point this out to you and now I am Zen Devil. How I hate this at times. Not being able to say everything at once and being done with it all. I appreciate the forum but it becomes a merry-go-round fairly often. Do you think our degree of being is in a fluctuating state? I observe my 'need' to engage in commentary and sometimes see it plainly as identifying. Depends on the mood I'm in. Some days, Rome falls nine times an hour. Sometimes not. Pokin fun,, Being light-hearted,,,

@eos_nyxia Second question is interesting. That somewhat brings into question one's self-deception in relation to humility. @Monke I get you, Somewhat I think,,,, Bring up a relevant issue to discuss and get other's criticism. Or is it the distinctions they make translates in that direction? In varying degrees. Some thoughtful responses also. How can we all be so much alike yet vastly different in other perspectives or lines of development? Rhetorical questions. One after another. I guess that's all I'm good for.

Beware of domestic terrorists who employ the passive-aggressive technique of psycho-emotional button pushing and amygdala hijacking. It often occurs in semi-conscious friends and family members who may ironically display the intention of caring, empathy, or "meaning well". This undermining menacing phenomena can also be delivered with an attitude of absent mindedness or indifference. It can even be completely accidental and through the receiver's own projection, bring about the malignancy. Ignorance piled on ignorance brings what it brings. Forgiveness is arrived at thru understanding. Understanding can happen quickly but usually doesn't. In the Fourth Way. It is stated that Understanding is a combination of Being and Knowledge.

We are vulnerable. Most people are more vulnerable psychologically and emotionally than we suspect. I fear what Artificial Intelligence will do to affect our mental health in the future. In general, we do not admit our own negativity towards others. The tendency to provoke or manipulate others through ‘button pushing’…….This is a tendency that happens unconsciously and in a semi-conscious way. What will A.I. do when this human frailty is exposed within its intelligence? Are those who are concerned with ethics within the world of A.I. even have this on their radar? There’s an idea in the Fourth Way (esoteric Christianity) that it’s not sex that makes the world go around but rather negative emotions. It’s not a very cheerful idea but has a basis in objective observation. 11 minutes This video references the 48 laws of power, morphic resonance and other things and ideas and stuff,,, 20 seconds. Joe Pesci ,,,te hee hee

I’m out of touch with technology so far as practical applications go, but I enjoy learning about break throughs and the potential impacts this will have on our lives in the near future, 1-5 years,,, The potential impact quantum computing will have on humanity makes artificial intelligence seem like no big deal,,,, As always, take this with a grain of salt. Yet I always exist on the side of optimism and gullibility with the habit of everything going into the as-if-it’s-true mental file folder until it’s determined without a doubt to be complete bullshit.