Zigzag Idiot

"Life without foolishness would be unbearable," - Carl Jung

The Science of Idiotism is about the hindrances to becoming a Self Realized Being, plus other stuff. The term Idiot here is drawing an the old Greek usage of it as: being oneself,,unpretentious ,,,, But it is used also simultaneously as the standard modern usage of fool because until we 'have our Being', life is experienced on the emotional pendulum connected with dualistic thinking and we are pretty much just a torture to the world, of some kind or other. I used to be an a epic complainer in addition to Alcoholic and coward. After that, I went around depressed and with a long sad face because I couldn't drink alcohol and party it up forever. Some people can but I realized I couldn't. The Science of Idiotism is a little known teaching from the mystic George Gurdjieff. Bruno Martins - The Realized Idiot - is about the only book written solely about The Science of Idiotism. It's very good. I recommend it. You can find a little here and there with a google search. Zigzag idiot is #9 on the Ladder of Reason. Of all the Idiots, I thought this one made the best screen name. I've been working on my self for a few years doing self inquiry. Keeping this Journal out here in front of God and everybody meshes well with the Gurdjieff work of Self Observation and Self Remembering. The whole lot of us are just bad full of bullshit, says Gurdjieff. Justifying,,, self deception,,, Kundabuffer he called it in his book Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson. I really like AH Almaas's The Diamond Approach. It's Gurdjieff,,, modernized plus psychological explanation of things like our defenses against inadequacy. Is it a schizoid splitting off and sticking ones head in the sand? or do we employ a Grandiose self to shield against inadequacy. This work which includes, very much processing our shadow material can be very painful and destabilizing. Being light hearted can amount to good strategy if it can be sincere and natural. This Work teaches we project any repressed guilt we may have out onto others. I've observed this in myself over time. Also, we don't have to be negative. The practice of not expressing negative emotions has shown me the existence of my own spiritual sleep. We wake up and although might never sleep as deeply again, spiritually, we take naps as E.J. Gold put it. It's very difficult sometimes to just simply feel , without repressing negative emotions and not give expression to them. It pays out big dividends in 'spiritual coin' though. Remind me of this, if, in later post, I go off on a angry emotional rant.

Reasons to be optimistic about the near future. Brain droppings- I wonder if what’s referred to as Artificial General Intelligence is synonymous with what’s called the “Singularity” ? Maybe this could also be viewed as the Rapture” or resurrection from another perspective. Maybe they could be viewed as set points on a multidimensional scale. The term quickening was used a couple of decades ago,,, If the physical and metaphysical bridge were completed to a more through understanding,,, Should we be expectant of clear vision and understanding of what awaits us after the death of the physical body? Or a more certain spectrum of possible existences,,,? This clip came to mind-

It doesn't matter what genre. It doesn't have to be inspirational. It doesn't need to be explained. Everything is welcome. Sad, goofy, angry, happy, inspirational, weird, profound, profane, etc.,,,,

In actualizing one’s potential. I’m looking at elements of that process. In the Almaas’ work, the Diamond Approach. Sitting with “the psychological/emotional hole one feels”, the deficient emptiness. One’s fracturedness, parts of my shadow that I’ve been able to confront. Almaas was a student of the Gurdjieff literature (fourth way or esoteric Christianity) which has self observation and self remembering as two main pillars within the work. Some modern psychotherapists describe it as self-inquiry. To take all this into a pile. A rhetorical question- How do you discover and admit to different elements of your very own biases and self deceptions? https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/holes-theory This blends great with what I’ve encountered with Emeralds lectures in which she steps down jungian psychology in an understandable way. I’ve also encountered a channel that find very enjoyable and informative with a ‘stepping down’ of Jung’s writings on integration, individuation, the shadow, and archetypes.

I’ve been busy refurbishing a rent house, working on a John Deere square baler, installing vinyl plank flooring in my own house, and, among other things,,,,, pondering. I lost a good friend two weeks ago. She was just 60 years old. This weighs on me. I could have been a better friend. Getting the call that she had left her body. The permanence of this. What happens after the physical body dies? I don’t know. Reincarnation,, or some kind of eternal existence ,? I don’t know. What’s the reality of the astral or energy body. Some people claim the realization of infinity or ‘God realization’. I haven’t had either of these experiences. Maybe minor mystical experiences that I would call inner seeing-knowing. But I’m not sure of the complete accuracy of these experiences. Helpful information and understanding have come about but when weighed against the scope of infinity or eternity,,,,, shatters any confidence. I know that the more people I lose that are close to me,,, it makes death a little less scary. To say that I keep these loved ones in my heart may seem to sound like an empty cliche at first. I’ve short changed everyone I’ve ever known in some way. I’m a selfish human being. I try to observe this with ruthless honesty. The felt sense of being forgiven as well as forgiving others is encountered in my inner world, tempering the pain of my mistakes from out of the past. The heart’s feeling capacity, with all of its changeable characteristics, leads me forward into the unknown.

Hey @MuadDib, the video was too weird for me, but thanks anyhow,,, I'm, trying to practice at being independent minded and opinionated without being obnoxious. In examining and trying to explain my bluntness, an extensive self-referential element surfaces which highlights my neurotic insecure psychological stance. Sounds worse than it really is and translates as more,,,, really is less. --------------------------------------------------------------- I've lost credibility in my community. People take my words, and they get fed back to me with a slightly different intent/context. It seems there is a great deal of suspicion about me. I've chosen a lifestyle which has more freedom. My hyperbolic remarks, at times, have been taken as serious remarks which equates as a ridiculous attitude on my part. A completely different meaning and intention than what was begun with,,, ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ And now some Castenada- The very first principle of stalking is that a warrior stalks himself. He stalks himself ruthlessly, cunningly, patiently, and sweetly. Stalking is the art of using behavior in novel ways for specific purposes. Normal human behavior in the world of everyday life is routine. Any behavior that breaks from routine causes an unusual effect on our total being. That unusual effect is what sorcerers seek, because it is cumulative. The sorcerer seers of ancient times, through their seeing, first noticed that unusual behavior produced a tremor in the assemblage point. They soon discovered that if unusual behavior was practiced systematically and directed wisely, it eventually forced the assemblage point to move. The real challenge for those sorcerer seers, was finding a system of behavior that was neither petty nor capricious, but that combined the morality and the sense of beauty which differentiates sorcerer seers from plain witches. Anyone who succeeds in moving his assemblage point to a new position is a sorcerer. And from that new position, he can do all kinds of good and bad things to his fellow men. Being a sorcerer, therefore, can be like being a cobbler or a baker. The quest of sorcerer seers is to go beyond that stand. And to do that, they need morality and beauty. For sorcerers, stalking is the foundation on which everything else they do is built. It is the art of controlled folly. Sorcerers say that the fourth abstract core happens when the spirit cuts our chains of self-reflection. Cutting our chains is marvelous, but also very undesirable, for nobody wants to be free. What a strange feeling: to realize that everything we think, everything we say depends on the position of the assemblage point. The secret of our chains is that they imprison us, but by keeping us pinned down on our comfortable spot of self-reflection, they defend us from the onslaughts of the unknown. Once our chains are cut, we are no longer bound by the concerns of the daily world. We are still in the daily world, but we don't belong there anymore. In order to belong we must share the concerns of people. And without chains we can't. What distinguishes normal people is that we share a metaphorical dagger: the concerns of our self-reflection. With this dagger, we cut ourselves and bleed; and the job of our chains of self-reflection is to give us the feeling that we are bleeding together, that we are sharing something wonderful: our humanity. But if we were to examine it, we would discover that we are bleeding alone; that we are not sharing anything; that all we are doing is toying with our manageable, unreal, man-made reflection. Sorcerers are no longer in the world of daily affairs because they are no longer prey to their self-reflection. And now some Castenada-

Perhaps you are misunderstood, and I'm misunderstood. Others are misunderstood as well and they misunderstand us and each other somewhat? We're all dangerous. I appreciated your expression, and I probably projected in some way which resulted in me being an annoyance. That was not intended. I wish you well.

Have we come to life on this planet in order to be only disciplined ascetics? Denying oneself all pleasures? You can't enjoy orgasms, fried foods, alcohol, sugar, narcotics, or chocolate after your die. Can't you see? It requires a physical body!! Some Buddhists speak about the realm of hungry ghosts. My limited understanding interprets this realm as a place of unhealed addictions. Gluttony is a danger. But also a life not fully lived is a danger as well. For me, sometimes, the road through is the road out. Yet, sometimes not. Ambiguity is that gray area between the absolutes of black and white. The foundation which enables us to be competent liars. It's a necessity for survival on this pain factory planet. Ambiguous subjectivity allows us the experience of our justifications, excuses, and self-deceptions. We all lie to ourselves and other people. We begin this early in life. It's natural and you see it in other people easier than you see it in yourself. This blaming keeps the inertia of subtle or blatant fault finding in the outer world and away from our inner world. A truly mature human being has to see through all this in its many forms. It doesn't disappear all at once. Not even close. You have to encounter it in yourself so many times that it just wears you down through exhaustion. The effects of this seeing result in the degree of understanding that remains. This is something that fluctuates as well. Practicing ruthless self-observation without self-criticism. It's very difficult to let the action of quiet remorse awaken our conscience. Self-recrimination keeps one on the merry-go-round of guilt and turning away into the shadows of repression and forgetting or some form of self-justification. We have to bear the burden of our actions in the world. When you can see your own bullshit. Forgiving others becomes so much easier. Surprisingly, my forward progress in the last 5 years has been in the action and paradoxically the felt expression of unbridled hatred. I'm not as repressed as I used to be, carrying around a burden of low-grade guilt and cynicism. The experience of fully feeling deep hatred has allowed it to burn up cleanly. It is something I never expected. I can feel a peace and inner quiet that is fresh. It does not last and that's okay as well. It's not supposed to. There are so many different states of consciousness and degrees of being that are possible. Repression is a counterforce that that shuts one off from experiencing different aspects of life. Human beings have more subtle energy centers, (chakras) than other mammals who have no neocortex. We have many more possibilities than hamsters and dogs. Though, we have possible discoveries yet to be made concerning dolphins and whales. Human beings are quite varied. Multilayered evolution as individuals and as a collective species is in progress. There seems to be a quickening in this unfolding evolution as well if you look at the speed of new knowledge acquired and new technologies advancing the human potential. Have a nice day.

Thank you for helping me to realize that the world is a nicer place than it was before Courageous yet benign expression of individuation Communicating from your hara *Makes my heart soar like a hawk You are a human being and know where the center of the Earth is *- Paraphrasing quotes of Chief Dan George

I liked listening to this fellow. He trained himself with Robert Monroe and the Monroe Institute in development of out of body experiences. I’ll listen to this again because I was letting this play as I worked one day last week. To say the conversation was far reaching would be an understatement. I get enjoyment in watching this monkey, below,

I liked the movie,,, I very much agree.

My YouTube shorts picks- This first one is sobering. Victims of war. I went through Moab a couple of times but didn’t get to spend much time sightseeing. I plan on visiting again.

ESSENCE TYPES This YouTube on essence or body types was put together in a very interesting way.

@ivankiss

I’ve been thinking about how embarrassing this journal is for people who THINK they know me. I’m not embarrassed at all and that’s a lie. Aren’t we all multidimensional Beings? Some will contend that we’re not. I don’t wish to argue with anyone. Blah , blah, blah, I erased some, blah , blah, blah….. ,,,,,,,a starter kit for undoing the twist in ourselves which perpetuates our misery. Letting go,,,, Finding peace through non-attachment. We can leap out of our graves. “If you could float above the earth and become aware of all the negativity that is going on, you would never laugh again. The world is ruled by negative emotions."

Skillful Means Ken Wilber is the originator of Integral Theory, a comprehensive philosophy. Skillful means, a concept related to Wilber's work, recognizes paradoxes and the need to liberate others... Hey people. When someone starts outing themselves for ---------? whatever it may be,,,, Keep your words of wisdom to yourself. Or, at least, REALLY observe yourself. I used to be pretty bad about offering unsolicited advice. It's a terrible blind spot for many of us. You'll notice in the reaction of those who you are trying to "help",,, a rather cool response, sometimes. This happens quite a bit here in the actualized forum and it gets pointed out fairly often as well. Maybe more than i realize. I don't interact with others here on the forum as I used to as. I'm a fitful contributor and sporadic in my approach to actualizing. Not engaging in self criticism is a part of my approach as well. This allows me to backslide with wild abandon from time to time and dispense with all that self flagellating that goes along with being a rather insecure introvert. I'm a terrible speaker and don't give a damn about that inability. Rather being fascinated with states and stages of consciousness, essence or endocrine types and things of that nature,,,, Perhaps a surface level look at Freud and Jungian psychology as well. I like watching Emerald's video's. She's a good teacher for me. Time to crash out and crawl into bed.

People talk about their story of awakening. The story of awakening isn't really special. No one's really is. They're all somewhat the same. And we also have many different kinds of awakenings. For. the most part, when people start to tell you about their story. You can watch them go into identification and their need to be seen in a certain way. It's a huge trap that turns them into a certain kind of Idiot. Perhaps a squirming Idiot or a round Idiot. It doesn't really matter. I'm no different. I've done the same damn thing. We all have these episodes and it's not that we're in complete delusion but rather,,, How do you translate a really moving transformational experience that has no distinct place in one's timeline with markers, time stamps, and foot notes. Something fundamental in one's perception changed which translates into a broader understanding, But the new perspective is so all encompassing,,,, it's difficult to relate it to another human being linguistically. That's just one way of framing it. An awakening experience could be framed in a completely different way. Like Nisargadatta's statement - "Nothing is wrong anymore". The more one talks about it, the more one can envision the needle moving on the bullshit detector. Be careful and try to catch yourself next time it happens. if you avoid that identification of needing to tell your story. Your world may become a bit larger in a sense, because all at once, your understanding grows, people are a little more predictable, and your humbled through seeing your own foolishness. The whole tone of this message is somewhat arrogant and sarcastic. My bad,,, but still,,,

Leo’s brief entry into his blog about psychopathic stage orange CEO’s reminded me of a recent study I encountered. I’m absolutely the least qualified to have an informed opinion on this matter, but the experiments described by Ralph Losey I found to be very interesting and encouraging. There seems to be hope for a appellate court system that would move at a much quicker pace eliminating back logs and with what seems like a very ethical oversight.

Leo’s brief entry into his blog about psychopathic stage orange CEO’s reminded me of a recent study I encountered. I’m absolutely the least qualified to have an informed opinion on this matter, but the experiments described by Ralph Losey I found to be very interesting and encouraging. There seems to be hope for a appellate court system that would move at a much quicker pace eliminating back logs and with what seems like a very ethical oversight.

Nanotechnology Artificial Intelligence Robotics Quantum Computing There are so many areas of our life that are undergoing a paradigm shift. Wonderful, beneficial advances,,,, At the same time just consider how vulnerable we become through loss of privacy. Are you a bit shy or self conscious in some areas of your life? What would you do if you saw images of yourself having sex being displayed on an electronic billboard or through a website and then disseminated by email. Think how people in politics have to consider these possibilities. Because of the strong opinions involved and potential vindictiveness of political adversaries. Our opinions are affected considerably through advertising, varieties of news sources, deep fakes in cheap tabloid news with its paparazzi on the prowl, computer hackers for hire, etc.,,, Pubic opinion is swayed so easily. People who are in politics, legislators, law enforcement, judicial posts, teachers who have to answer to administrators or school board meetings. How important is personal privacy to you? How free are you? To do as you wish or to say what you really think,,,, Look at how identified we all become over different issues. Being gaslit in today’s world or in the near future could be very vicious. Stop and consider with brutal honesty your own psychological integration. Are you individuated enough that you could withstand public ridicule? For arguments sake, can you admit to having parts of your life that you would not on public display? Strong opinions given to a spouse or close friend while in an angry rant. How long has it been since you had freaky sex? What if you were to realize that you were being monitored and were unsure how long it had been going on? Setting aside politics for a minute. Be thankful for all people in public life that make sacrifices you’re not even aware of. No one is perfect. We are all flawed and vulnerable in some way.

This guy is pretty funny. Here are my picks of his short vids- I’ve been remodeling an older house. All new flooring. Installing carpet and linoleum planks. Painting walls, plumbing repairs etc.,, This has been keeping me fairly busy as well as doing some welding repairs on a steel corral. Finally got a windshield put back on my pickup. I’ve been driving it around for the last 8 months without a windshield. I mostly drive a 2015 Subaru and work out of it. Blah, blah blah. I haven’t meditated in a long time. Two days ago I prayed. A short petitionary. It felt good. Perhaps a layer of cynicism was shed. I SHOULD return to doing centering prayer meditation like I did in the past. I was a lot more efficient in work and accomplishing tasks. That “SHOULD”, is, sometimes the voice of the superego. It keeps you from truly individuating. But it also coincides with one’s inner truth or conscience. I find it both paradoxical and ironic that Freud’s delineation of the superego or inner critic can be a barrier to one’s own awakened conscience. But from my experience and understanding, the dang thing goes back to sleep. Us humans do that. We nap. I I’ve got an excellent podcast to share maybe next time I post. It’s about emotional purification. It’s just great. Very reaffirming ,,,, There’s a part or two in it that makes me feel like a complete phony. Well shoot,,, Here it is,,,

@UpperMaster Good suggestion. To humble brag. I assume you’re thinking of spiritual materialism. People who take on a role in which they think they are very “spiritual” , compassionate, realized or enlightened. But when faced with the everyday problems of the world,,, they rage or fall apart. @Santiago Ram I believe your heart is in the right place. Admiting unflattering things about yourself takes courage. Some people who think that they know more than you do and see you admit your pride are likely to challenge you. Because they themselves have deep insecurities and pretend that they don’t. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Consulting the I CHING this morning I got hexagram 13. No changing lines,,, 13. Associating with People Ch'ien Li The Judgment: Associating with people in the open. Success. It furthers to cross the great water and to be firm and correct. In this hexagram, the Sage addresses the Cosmic Principle of Re-lating, which principle is observable in a person's relationship with the Sage, and which relationship is defined in Hexagram 4, Youthful Folly. The Cosmic Principle of Relating is defined by one single limitation: "no relationship with the ego." Through firmly refusing to relate to the ego in himself and in others, a person follows what is correct. In this way the "great water," which is a metaphor for the gulf standing between the way of the collective ego and the Cosmic Way, is crossed. "Associating with people in the open" means that one's openness is restricted to another's true self only. We relate openly to others when the ego in them is absent, and withdraw into caution and hesitation when the egos become active. Reserve and caution prevent the predatory and parasitic appetite of the ego from gaining the sustenance (our chi energy) it seeks to stay alive. Observing this restriction also aids, nourishes, and strengthens others' true selves. This is the way the Sage retreats the instant the ego in us is present, and returns the moment we have reached a true humility. When a person observes this limitation in relating to another, he is in harmony with the Cosmos. He also creates duration in his relationships by ensuring that they are based on the attraction that always exists between people's true selves. The retreat of the Sage in the presence of the ego gives the example of how to retreat from others. The Sage, in retreating, calls out to our true self to rally itself to stand up to the ego, to affirm its leadership of the personality. Thus the Sage does not "give up" on us. When the ego in another is dominating, we say the inner No to it, and call on their true selves. This activates the Sage in their presence (which has been shut out) to displace the ego's dominance. Just as we experience hindrances in our relationship with the Sage when we put the Sage up as "special," or higher, or in an opposite way see ourselves as the judge of the Sage, we erect similar hindrances when we relate to others in these ways. The Sage also points out the problems connected with the ideals of fellowship and brotherhood traditionally associated with this hexa-gram. These ideals are the basis of the attempt to create a humanistic society where "men are brothers," as a remedy to the evils caused by factionalism as, for example, during the historical era of the "warring states" in China. Such ideals of a universal order designed to create a "lasting unity among men" are bound to fail because they are man-centered, and thus fail to take into account the Cosmic Order on which all unity is based. They also rule out the Helpers, which are necessary to make unity possible.

Addiction This is one part in how I go about healing an addiction. This may sound like bullshit to some. It may not work at all with some essence or personality types. It’s my addiction and with it my self deception,,,,, and other stuff. Don’t shame a person. Don’t divide them against themselves. It may be the job of parents to see their children through the ability to feel shame. I’m only guessing because I’ve never been a parent. Only a child. Perhaps in arrested development. To be brutally honest. When does shame become a hindrance? Children have a brutal honesty at times which is perplexing and stubborn. Perhaps when shame limits innocent curiosity that stifles growth or understanding does it interfere with higher stages of growth. Are my actions actually malicious? Is there a gray area here between right and wrong that has so many variables in this area that one’s personal sense of propriety require metaphorical binoculars and time for pondering,,,,,? Humans who understand the difference between shame and remorse or regret are being contacted by conscience. Cultivated conscience is different from awakened conscience. The yo-yo of being energy and the fluctuations in awakened conscience are something to be considered. We awaken and then we nap, so to speak,,, Somehow connected with that brightly glaring vision of hindsight,,,,😮 SATIATE, SATE, SURFEIT, CLOY, PALL, GLUT, GORGE mean to fill to repletion. SATIATE and SATE may sometimes imply only complete satisfaction but more often suggest repletion that has destroyed interest or desire. years of globe-trotting had satiated their interest in travel readers were sated with sensationalistic stories SURFEIT implies a nauseating repletion. surfeited themselves with junk food CLOY stresses the disgust or boredom resulting from such surfeiting. sentimental pictures that cloy after a while PALL emphasizes the loss of ability to stimulate interest or appetite. a life of leisure eventually begins to pall GLUT implies excess in feeding or supplying. a market glutted with diet books GORGE suggests glutting to the point of bursting or choking. gorged themselves with chocolate Timing- The individual themselves have to decide this. This decision is connected with a willingness to endure suffering. Having gone through periods of being completely satisfied, an organic, inner will is stimulated to see this through. In chronic depression, the ability to remember the felt sense of happiness is lost in a fog of sorts. That’s been my experience in the past. To satiate with intensity allows one to build a storehouse of fullness in satisfaction that you can contact again through memory. It can be a rather seemingly bland place you contact in the future but nonetheless, it can give you the faint memory that the indulgence you need to get past is a practical necessity to move onward in life.