Zigzag Idiot

The following 1 minute clip is Hamilton Morris on Joe Rogan’s podcast. It speaks for itself,,, He mentions virtue signaling. Virtue signaling was and probably still is mixed in with my psychological blind spot at times,,,, https://youtube.com/clip/Ugkxvhu2eGx0iBNdp7gdX3B9scV4kZu9KuEw?si=gtd0dGZxkrwt8Dup

The Science of Idiotism is about the hindrances to becoming a Self Realized Being, plus other stuff. The term Idiot here is drawing an the old Greek usage of it as: being oneself,,unpretentious ,,,, But it is used also simultaneously as the standard modern usage of fool because until we 'have our Being', life is experienced on the emotional pendulum connected with dualistic thinking and we are pretty much just a torture to the world, of some kind or other. I used to be an a epic complainer in addition to Alcoholic and coward. After that, I went around depressed and with a long sad face because I couldn't drink alcohol and party it up forever. Some people can but I realized I couldn't. The Science of Idiotism is a little known teaching from the mystic George Gurdjieff. Bruno Martins - The Realized Idiot - is about the only book written solely about The Science of Idiotism. It's very good. I recommend it. You can find a little here and there with a google search. Zigzag idiot is #9 on the Ladder of Reason. Of all the Idiots, I thought this one made the best screen name. I've been working on my self for a few years doing self inquiry. Keeping this Journal out here in front of God and everybody meshes well with the Gurdjieff work of Self Observation and Self Remembering. The whole lot of us are just bad full of bullshit, says Gurdjieff. Justifying,,, self deception,,, Kundabuffer he called it in his book Beelzebub's Tales To His Grandson. I really like AH Almaas's The Diamond Approach. It's Gurdjieff,,, modernized plus psychological explanation of things like our defenses against inadequacy. Is it a schizoid splitting off and sticking ones head in the sand? or do we employ a Grandiose self to shield against inadequacy. This work which includes, very much processing our shadow material can be very painful and destabilizing. Being light hearted can amount to good strategy if it can be sincere and natural. This Work teaches we project any repressed guilt we may have out onto others. I've observed this in myself over time. Also, we don't have to be negative. The practice of not expressing negative emotions has shown me the existence of my own spiritual sleep. We wake up and although might never sleep as deeply again, spiritually, we take naps as E.J. Gold put it. It's very difficult sometimes to just simply feel , without repressing negative emotions and not give expression to them. It pays out big dividends in 'spiritual coin' though. Remind me of this, if, in later post, I go off on a angry emotional rant.

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxHPyTD08AggMTduoYtXcOerjN9Ngr4bOl?si=pD7XHW59dHER3XRO

Does a heart have a voice? Does a heart have a mind? Do you let your mind rule your heart always or sometimes? Have you ever been lost somewhere in that mixture? Of course. We all do that. From the depths we each emerge with something unique along with a degree of being.

At least the dry spell has broken. It’s raining outside. I’ve eaten breakfast and it’s still dark. I’m full and sleepy lying in a warm bed. The window is open. There is a cool breeze. Listening to the rain, I feel at peace and I am thankful. I can tell that I’m going to drift back into some sleep. If I were to say anything more about how I feel right now. It would ,,,, If you’ve ever escaped from a hell. Experiencing the contrast of its absence. Tears flow,,,, How could I ever describe what I realize at this moment. This torrent of scenes visualized with feelings of distilled intensity containing a knowledge that I find impossible to convey because of its richness.. This feeling/knowledge comes to me again. It’s in the memory of specific people and the look in their eyes of a heart relation that speaks to something much greater than me.

Is a anyone following this story?

Morsels of information for those who want to abstract/ponder or ponder/abstract planetary evolution and the idea of singularity or eschatology,,,, yeah man,,,

I got kicked in the head by a horse when I was about 10 years old. I was over at a friends house and we were sledding down the hill on a mixture of sleet and snow. I had found a piece of Formica (countertop material),,, You can imagine what a great sled that made. We punched a small hole in it close to the edge and tied a hay string through it so one side could be flared up. That was the front of the sled of course. It couldn’t really be steered though. After a while some horses had drifted into our side of the hill we were sleding on. I should have known better but I slid right into the group of horses and one of them kicked me in the forehead. It knocked me unconscious for a minute or so. My friend Greg ran down to see how I was and he helped me back to their house. His dad picked me up and put me in a vehicle and took me to the hospital. I had bump the size of a goose egg on one left side of my forehead. I may have shared this story earlier somewhere in my journal. I tend to repeat myself somewhat. They x-rayed me me at the hospital and sent back home. Watching the YouTube below today triggered the memory of that event. It hurts me to watch this. The first scene here is the worst,,,

@Dayo Thank you for starting this thread! A good number of people come to A Course in Miracles through introduction by their psychotherapists. In large part due to their having a tenacious grip on some trauma they have endured and are unable to let go of their victimhood. What is the eventual fix needed here? Dis-identification or the ability to let go. In another word, forgiveness. ACIM is a work that came to fruition through a woman who channeled the historical Jesus Christ over a five year period in the late 1960’s. She was a secular Jewish psychotherapist named Helen Schucman. The text reads very much like the New Testament but with modern terms like ‘ego’ mixed into it. This paraphrasing of the Bible is absolutely hilarious. God Is Disappointed In You came out about 10- 15 years ago. Its genius quality is in its ability to dissolve false seriousness that seems to be a plague on Christians throughout the ages.

@Yimpa Well,,, yeah kinda everything goes into a as-if-it’s-true mental file folder. This story is still going with different variations. Little ole gas lit me saw it made the Drudge Report earlier today.

Do you mean fake news? I’m a fooled fool, still. Looks exciting!

I’ve heard it said that a fully awakened human is incapable of violence. Maurice Nicoll, a Scottish physician and a Teacher of Gurdjieffs system related a vivid dream he had. There was a man who was being harassed by some people but he seemed to be not affected at all. He remained passive and calm in the face of their taunts. Nicoll referred to him as a man of no violence who possessed a curious power. He tells the story better than I do. I recommend the Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurdjieff and Ouspensky. It’s a very comprehensive yet readable set of 5 volumes containing around 4500 pages. His lightheartedness and sometimes blunt statements makes for enjoyable reading. Bye

"The chakras are the outer layer of the astral body"- Ocke deBoer The Fourth Way, sometimes referred to as esoteric Christianity or "The Work", teaches that we have four bodies in potential. Carnal or physical body Astral or kedsjan body Spiritual or mental body Divine or causal body This is not a quick or easy task. It takes years. Solar coating of the higher bodies.....To be able to remain quiet rather than to react with harsh or vengeful speech. Or having the ability to observe yourself failing to do this. Become horrified and maybe depressed by observing one's own unconstrained imagination in relation to life. There are many practices. To become effective, the Work has to become a priority. Your house has to be on fire for 20 years or more Have fun.

I tore the rotator cuff in my left shoulder in the winter of 2012. Sometime around 2019 the right shoulder rotator cuff experienced a similar tear. But not as severe. Gonna have to plan a surgery for this sometime in the next year. A new acquaintance informed me that she got hers fixed with just an out-patient surgery . That sounds hopeful. I’m tired of the chronic pain and lack of mobility with my arms.

The following was a part of my mornings reading. Practical advice for dealing with oneself and others when there are discordant energies present. From - I Ching The Oracle of the Cosmic Way Retreating from Conflict or Opposition Retreating means withdrawing inwardly from all argumentative attitudes: with yourself others, the Cosmos, Nature, Fate, life, etc., The idea of opposition has no Cosmic validity. Everything in the nature of the Cosmos is based on the principle of harmony. There fore, when you see anything or anyone as your opponent, enemy, or adversary, it is a sign that you have separated from the Cosmic Harmony and are engaging in an inner war. Continuing always leads to humiliation. (see Hexagram 6, Conflict, Line 1) Withdrawal from conflict first requires relinguishing the demands of the ego in yourself by saying No to seeing anything as an opponent. Second, ask the Sage in your presence for help. If your confictis with another, also ask the Sage in that person's presence to intervene with the ego in him. (Doing this is helpful in all situations and group meetings.) Calling on the Sage in a person's presence is one thing the [Ching means when it counsels us "to see the great man." Retreating into an attitude of reserve is the correct response to any ego display in others (vindictiveness, temper, etc.). This begins first by retreating from the ego in yourself by saying the inner No to indulging in any anger or annoyance. You next disengage from eye-to-eye contact (the ego in a person derives its energy from being recognized in another's eyes) until the person returns to humility. The need to retreat can be either inner or outer, such as: when you watch an evil deed with your inner eye and make a judgment that the other person doing it is evil; when you argue inwardly with another's statements or ideas; when you fasten on a subject or person with worry, or anticipate possible negative consequences. Retreat does not mean you smother natural feelings of dissent. It means to first say the inner No, when there are clear feelings of wrong-doing, and then to ask the Sage and Cosmic Helpers to take care of it. This means that you also give your anger over to these Helpers. When the retreat is done sincerely, there is no need for it to be noticed by the other. Sulking is not a retreat, but a display intended to make a point. It only shows that the ego is still attached to the confict. A retreat has only one aim: to end the conflict and the exchange of energy that conflict creates. If the other persists, it may be necessary to signalize one's determination not to participate in any further discussion. The unexpected effect of retreating is that the energies of your anger become transformed into Helpers that will show themselves in exactly the right way at the right time.

The following is a poorly worded, bullshit statement from the previous journal entry. - It’s been said we have to have a healthy functioning ego before further progress can be made. “ To have your being” as it’s referred to in the New Testament and the equivalent in other traditions. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzxxzzzzx In the Abraham Maslow model of human development it is expressed that in the first tier we have “survival or deficiency needs” . Moving into 2nd tier there are “being needs” to be fulfilled and expressed through our healthy individuality. To have your being is mentioned in the New Testament. Acts 17:28 I should have gave the equivalent of this scripture found in other traditions’ but it would require more work than I care to do. I looked at the possibilities of this translating across into Buddhist and Hindu texts and it seems very possible,,,,, enough said,,,,, My journal is full of half baked ideas, possibilities, castles in the air, bad music, questionable ideas, confusing statements but also some decent crunched analogies and valuable quotes from a variety of people.

The self esteem that many therapists work their patients towards seems to be,,,,, egotistical. Sure it is. It’s been said we have to have a healthy functioning ego before further progress can be made. “ To have your being” as it’s referred to in the New Testament and the equivalent in other traditions. Concerning folks who are in therapy. To get relief from psychological and emotional torment can mean everything. You never know who has experienced a trauma of some kind that placed them in a hell of sorts, There are many different kinds of hell. To escape any form of Hell is its own reward. Two excerpts from Almaas online glossary- What is Hell? Diamond Approach Teachings About: Hell https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/hell Attachment is the Pure Substance of Hell Itself Do you remember what we said attachment was? It is the pure substance of Hell itself. It is pure, unadulterated anguish. The anguish is exactly what is produced by the movement of attachment. The movement of attachment always occurs in one of two ways, either a movement away from pain or a movement towards pleasure. Regardless of how you might try to get out of this dilemma, you won’t. If you have either of these two attitudes – which are actually one attitude – you are in the dilemma. You can’t get out of a sticky situation by becoming stickier. You can’t get out of a swamp by going further into it. No matter how many times I say this, how many times I read the stories, you will not get it unless you make that principle of understanding your practice every minute, as much as possible. Diamond Heart Book One, pg. 225 Seeing that the Ego Ideal Doesn't Work When someone achieves the ego ideal and sees that it doesn’t work, the attempts to fill the hole from then on are generally not effective. The person either tries to find another, similar ideal, or he simply modifies it. The ego ideal is always based on some kind of positivity—its aim is to give you a positive experience. It is a defense against a negative identity, a negative sense of self. There was a state of harmony that was lost, and the ego ideal is an attempt to regain that harmony. However, the loss of the state of harmony means the presence of negativity. The ego ideal is, in a sense, a way to deal with that negativity by retaining the hope for regaining a positive experience. If a person sees through the ego ideal, he will begin to experience a negative state, which is the absence of the original harmony. He will have to deal with the negative part of the self that is angry and hateful, and will have to see his self-hatred and self-rejection. In other words, you were in paradise and you were then thrown out of it into hell. You then try to build a certain ideal based on a hope of getting back to paradise, so you won’t be suffering in hell. You have this fantasy in your mind while you’re in hell, believing that if you work hard enough at being a certain way, you’ll get back into paradise. The moment you give up that hope, you find out you really are in hell, and you experience the depth of the negativity of self-hatred and self-rejection. When you recognize the ego ideal, there will be all kinds of defenses against it. I’m not trying, by the way, to tell you what will happen in your process; we’re just trying to understand the process. If you’re trying to anticipate what will happen, you are already motivated by the ego ideal. You want a result; the result you have in mind can only be a product of your ego ideal. You’re still caught in it, ensnared by it. The best approach is simply to understand it. Then you’ll see what will happen. It will not happen exactly the same way for everyone. Diamond Heart Book Three, pg. 61 This guy states it well in this YouTube short.

One minute and 30 seconds- Jessica Britt gives a good reminder about an intrinsic condition that relates to one’s ability remain ‘present’ or the inevitable Self- forgetting.

Ted Nottingham’s delivery of this message and his wording creates a springboard for useful self observation and, perhaps, subsequent Self remembering. Emotional purification means facing one’s own reactivity. When your agape’ flavored actualizer personality suddenly goes away and you hear another self saying “I want to pluck out your eyeballs and eat your liver you goddamned motherfucking daughter raping shit-ass. Old timers in the Work would say about this- “It’s hot in the kitchen “ or That’s some good cooking,,,,. It’s lunar coating. If the one who was reacting verbally with all the violence contained in spoken word. Power of spoken word!!! If they had not spoken and held their tongue. After a time. An increase in energy and consciousness will often happen. This is solar coating. I’m writing to my self. There’s a place between lunar and solar coating. That’s when you wave to yourself as you go over the waterfall of reactivity. That’s better than nothing, Very high stress and intense emotions. That’s where real work and real growth occurs. I have had to watch myself fail so many times that ,,,, it’s hard to describe. My every-which-way-ness was encountered there,,,, Bootcamp in the military is a good example. These folks are ground down to exhaustion and mental distress and then built back. It’s a proven method that has a history of instilling the capacity of greater discipline in young adults. My point being, military bootcamp and do-it-yourself actualizing have similarities but provides a good contrast. Discipline matters but which lines of development are important to each separate individual. People in the actualizing community can have vast differences when looked upon by others.

"Life without foolishness would be unbearable," - Carl Jung

Reasons to be optimistic about the near future. Brain droppings- I wonder if what’s referred to as Artificial General Intelligence is synonymous with what’s called the “Singularity” ? Maybe this could also be viewed as the Rapture” or resurrection from another perspective. Maybe they could be viewed as set points on a multidimensional scale. The term quickening was used a couple of decades ago,,, If the physical and metaphysical bridge were completed to a more through understanding,,, Should we be expectant of clear vision and understanding of what awaits us after the death of the physical body? Or a more certain spectrum of possible existences,,,? This clip came to mind-

It doesn't matter what genre. It doesn't have to be inspirational. It doesn't need to be explained. Everything is welcome. Sad, goofy, angry, happy, inspirational, weird, profound, profane, etc.,,,,

In actualizing one’s potential. I’m looking at elements of that process. In the Almaas’ work, the Diamond Approach. Sitting with “the psychological/emotional hole one feels”, the deficient emptiness. One’s fracturedness, parts of my shadow that I’ve been able to confront. Almaas was a student of the Gurdjieff literature (fourth way or esoteric Christianity) which has self observation and self remembering as two main pillars within the work. Some modern psychotherapists describe it as self-inquiry. To take all this into a pile. A rhetorical question- How do you discover and admit to different elements of your very own biases and self deceptions? https://www.diamondapproach.org/glossary/refinery_phrases/holes-theory This blends great with what I’ve encountered with Emeralds lectures in which she steps down jungian psychology in an understandable way. I’ve also encountered a channel that find very enjoyable and informative with a ‘stepping down’ of Jung’s writings on integration, individuation, the shadow, and archetypes.

I’ve been busy refurbishing a rent house, working on a John Deere square baler, installing vinyl plank flooring in my own house, and, among other things,,,,, pondering. I lost a good friend two weeks ago. She was just 60 years old. This weighs on me. I could have been a better friend. Getting the call that she had left her body. The permanence of this. What happens after the physical body dies? I don’t know. Reincarnation,, or some kind of eternal existence ,? I don’t know. What’s the reality of the astral or energy body. Some people claim the realization of infinity or ‘God realization’. I haven’t had either of these experiences. Maybe minor mystical experiences that I would call inner seeing-knowing. But I’m not sure of the complete accuracy of these experiences. Helpful information and understanding have come about but when weighed against the scope of infinity or eternity,,,,, shatters any confidence. I know that the more people I lose that are close to me,,, it makes death a little less scary. To say that I keep these loved ones in my heart may seem to sound like an empty cliche at first. I’ve short changed everyone I’ve ever known in some way. I’m a selfish human being. I try to observe this with ruthless honesty. The felt sense of being forgiven as well as forgiving others is encountered in my inner world, tempering the pain of my mistakes from out of the past. The heart’s feeling capacity, with all of its changeable characteristics, leads me forward into the unknown.