ivory

I know what you mean. I went through a stage like this. What sort of values did you have?

That whole thought cloud you are stuck in will disappear once you become stronger and more authentic. You don't necessarily need to do anything to help it along though. I too blamed my mom for how I was. Those thoughts cleared up after a couple years of inner work. You're not going to see results overnight. When you see yourself caught in victim thinking just notice them. Don't let them affect your behaviors. Do what matters despite how you feel.

Spiritual growth. One of the only guarantees in life is that it's going to throw you challenges. We are expected to rise up to those challenges.

I smell bullshit

Right on man.

I'd take it easy on myself. I was really motivated once I started self-actualization work then I realized that change happens really slowly. Now my level of effort is more in alignment with the way that growth unfolds.

Elysian, I don't see this coming from a place of love. You've set yourself up as "the savior". I think you have some good insights but I believe that your motives are misguided. What makes you think you are in a place to be "healing" others? Sounds like ego.

I experience that as well. I'll soon be heading back to the zen center to connect with the teachers and other members. I may also start volunteering to advance environmental causes. I'm hoping these things will have a positive effect.

@okulele Interesting video choice. I have actually spoken with Hogen a few times when I lived in Portland.

I'm new to Leo's videos, some I found relevant, and some I thought to be immature (his older vids). However, his talks on spiral dynamics were amazing. As a self-assessment I'd say that I have a lot of orange and yellow but not so much green. People often think I'm a dick so I'm not really good in relationships. I'm also a bit of a lone-wolf. I must say, though, the stage green has motivated me in a way I didn't expect. I find myself wanting to seek out more meaningful relationships, give money to the homeless on the street, and learn to listen better in conversation. I'd also like to start a loving kindness meditation practice. I didn't realize how selfish I was and how much I was shutting other people out until now. Anyone want to share about their experience opening the heart?

I think it depends on the strength of the habit. It took me 3 months to develop good sleep habits.

My experience is that you can really only deeply focus on one thing at a time. I disagree with the latter point. People are too impatient to deal with one thing at a time.

I just ordered two of Ken Wilber's books and the original Spiral Dynamics books. Mindfulness in plain english is a good book for learning about meditation. So is The Mind Illuminated.

Read this book

There are a few interesting things I that have happened since learning about spiral dynamics: I see groups and individuals for where they're at in the journey Society no longer seems chaotic Fewer judgements of others More aware of my thoughts when I do judge others I'm more optimist about society Less struggle Less confusion as to what I should be focusing on

I have a therapist. That's exactly what we focus on. Therapists are not just for those in crisis or with mental health problems.

Sounds a lot like what a therapist does.

Training myself to sleep 8 hours a day.

Out of curiosity did you choose the do-nothing meditation? I'd have picked some type of breath meditation if I were you. With breath meditation you start to see the benefits in a very short period of time.

I would agree with that. Cheers.

I would suggest finding a good non-duality teacher.

I used to. Probably still do to a certain degree.

So much of what you wrote resonates with me. I think you and I are both orange+yellow. I think we both need to integrate the healthy aspects of green.

I have a lot of orange as well. I have different desires at this stage in my life but I see a lot of similarities.

What are your motives for these things?