ivory

@ivankiss I find it interesting when people filter people's words through their own judgements. It's like, "Hey! Read it again. Next time with an open mind!" Nothing but love here. Have a good day ya'll.

@Aeris In my experience @ivankiss speaks the truth. Open your eyes and listen to what he's saying. Maybe it's you that's not ready for the truth.

Inauthentic motivations often lead to struggle, fatigue, and disappointment. That's how you identify them.

Journaling can help you get really clear on the exact fear. Fear of public speaking is secondary, something like fear of looking stupid is primary. Once you isolate the fear with precision you'll know what to do. Even if that means opening up to the thoughts and feelings that make up that fear.

When working on day to day mindfulness I find it helpful to work with the breath first. The breath makes the mind calm and tranquil and more ready to practice mindfulness. There's much less resistance with the mind is calm.

LOL, yeah, what @outlandish said

It also depends on the potency. I took a 2.5 dose and it was almost too much. Lots of anxiety for the first hour of the peak. I kept forgetting who I was and even the fact that I had taken mushrooms. Was a very confusing trip.

@outlandish Nice post! I find that with authenticity there is a lack of striving in one's efforts. That's the manifestation. Authentic motives include love, well-being, honesty, and curiosity. Once inauthentic motives are stripped down (in the way you suggested), authentic motives take their place. Love, joy, and creativity spring forth.

@Joseph Maynor I completely agree. Life purpose is not priority #1. Health and wellbeing is. Once you are consistently meeting your physical and emotional needs, only then can you focus on other things with authenticity. Self-love is the goal, everything else springs forth from that.

@Wisebaxter You seem addiction prone. Have you ever tried loving kindness meditation? I've been practicing loving kindness towards self and I can't tell you how much of a difference it has made. In a very short period of time I started taking better care of myself. Now almost everything I do is an extension of self-love. Better diet, consistent meditation practice, and just physical and mental health all around. I have a tendency to slip back into my old ways but that just reminds me that I need to keep practicing. In any case, best of luck to you on your journey!

Dude, your posts are huge.

I wouldn't worry about raising their consciousness. Let them be. They'll change when they change. Or not. It's not up to you. I like to hang out with my friends one on one. This usually creates the conditions for deeper discussion. As someone else suggested you could make new friends. Just keep in mind that the older you get, the less options you will have. As you age you have to learn to be more accepting of people as to where they are at in their level of personal development. Open-mindedness and acceptance is the way forward.

Move to Portland Oregon. I went through a stage like this. Now I find myself enjoying conversations with just about everyone. You're going through a phase we all do. You just want to find like minded people. And that's normal. But I believe the more you grow, the more content you are in almost any situation.

My therapist Rupert Spira Nisargadatta Maharaj

I find that the key to meditation is to balance alertness with relaxation. I used to meditate in a recliner chair but now I meditate sitting up with my back straight and just notice any tension that may arise in the body. The recliner made me prone to sleepiness which wasn't sustainable after a while.

I suffered from really low self-esteem. The most powerful practices I discovered was loving kindness (metta) meditation combined with therapy, journaling, and meditation. The thing about healing is that it's really counter-intuitive. An experienced therapist has a lot of insight into the journey of healing and can aid you on your way. You might like Tara Brach's book Radical Acceptance.

I've been in therapy for a while and I love it. The main thing that was helpful for me was to learn to be more accepting of myself. I learned from an early age that I was supposed to be a certain way, achieve something, or becomes someone important. Now I'm fine just being totally normal. My life is much more peaceful and I don't really give a rat's ass what anyone thinks of me. I chose my therapist because he was really experienced and had worked with a shit ton of people. In my opinion, a good therapist is going to help you work towards acceptance, responsibility, and self-awareness.

Is it necessary to do some concentration exercises first, like following the breath to calm the mind? Or do you just go for it?

@winterknight If I understand you correctly, you are suggesting to find this place where we feel we are located and to stay with that feeling. I feel like I'm located in the forehead. When I meditate on that feeling I notice that this feeling of "I" is an object. It's not the source. So then I become curious of the thing that's aware. But the source of awareness doesn't seem to have any location. That sense of "I" is the closest I seem to be able to get to the source. What are your thoughts?

Today I was lying on the couch. I was just breathing paying attention to the senses. This time things were a little more interesting. I could feel bodily sensations but this time they were arising in space. Not so much in my "body". I shifted attention to seeing and noticed that I could see at the same time that I could feel. It was almost like seeing and feeling were the same thing. Hard to put into words. But as I was breathing, I noticed that my body would appear on the in breath, and then disappear on the out breath. There was some sort of rhythm to it. I'm not sure what the question is, but I feel like this is something I should explore more deeply. I'm very curious to know this experience of seeing and feeling. Again, it's hard to put this into words. I have a feeling though, that there is no body, there are no things, there is just experience that comes in different flavors such as seeing, feeling, hearing. Yet, there isn't really a difference between them. What do you guys think?

Exactly. Soooo... then full enlightenment is what?

How would one measure degrees of enlightenment?

Hmm... you seem associate awakening as a precursor to enlightenment. To me they mean the same thing.