kag101

How long have you been feeling well?

I've tried this sort of strategy in the past, and it only left me feeling exhausted, inauthentic, and empty afterwards. What has worked for me is to embrace my introvertedness. That doesn't mean I only stay in my shell. Whenever I tried to be "extroverted", I'd either try too hard and end up being cringey, or I would freeze completely. So what I've been doing is: • Letting go of all should statements ("I should be talkative, funny, extroverted, etc"). • Stop forcing myself too much • Focusing on making small inputs that I truly want. This way, I get a sense that I'm contributing to the conversation (and therefore get a sense of belongingness) + because I don't speak that much, when I do, people truly pay attention. I doubt there's a hidden hack which will make you feel drunk without the side effects. Some questions regarding drinking: 1) Do you exaggerate? 2) Is it causing you any substantial harm?

Books and information are not enough to treat all those conditions. What has truly helped me is getting treatment with a high-quality psychotherapist and psychiatrist. Unfortunately, they’re not only expensive, but hard to find. But it is, hands-down, the most important investment I have ever made in my life.

Background i'm an undergraduate psychology student. it consists of 10 semesters. i'm in the 4th. i really like psychology. most of my learning comes from self-study though. in the past semesters, my classes were hybrid. it was great. this semester, however, is 100% in-person. ? my introverted ass is getting suffocated by that. it's just too much for me. i'm starting to get aversion to going there. unfortunately, where i live, the psychology major is only offered 100% in-person. My strategy to dealing with that it seems as though my college is not very strict with attendance, at least according to the last semesters. i'm not totally sure about how it's going to be now. it might depend on the professor, idk anyway, what i'm thinking is to miss 1-2 days a week, or whenever i need a break. obviously, i need to be careful with that. but i feel the risk is not very high. my classmates are worse than myself. some of them barely go to the classes. so either more than half of the class will fail the semester, or the college doesn't really care about that. i'm almost half-way to getting my diploma. i'm fairly certain that after i'm done with that, i will have more flexibility on doing things my way. i'm pretty sure there are hybrid post-graduation programs, etc. obs: please no moralizing ("What kind of psychologist you want to be by missing classes??") or cheap motivation stuff ("You should take the hardest path!!!!")

detox don't interact with her ever (not even to say happy birthday), unfollow her on social media. remove (or at least hide) anything that reminds you of her. you have to do that at least for 3 months. the most important step is to stop feeding your mind with thoughts of her. accept that it is over. i know, this is easier said than done. simply put: if you keep seeing her instagram picture, then no advice nor fancy self-help technique will do you any good.

one thing i can say for sure is, this mentality of having a perfect diet go hand-in-hand with craving copious amounts of "junk" food. will power is not the answer to all life's problems i highly recommend the book Intuitive Eating, i finally feel at peace with food.

- fearful - lack of resilience - socially inexperienced (sometimes) - inferiority complex - micromanager - too individualistic - overthinker

when i notice signs that the person is intolerant or extremist, then i dont waste my time talking about politcs. and if the subject comes up, i gently change the subject asap. i think it's better to focus on what the other person and I have in common. apart from politics, do you have meaningful interactions with them?

I agree.

Do you think that's a healthy practice?

welcome to the club lol i struggled with that as well. if you feel comfortable, could you elaborate more on what type of memories you cringe? anyway, i've come up with three different strategies to deal with that: 1) just let it pass i guess the worst approach is to react to the memory and start ruminating about it so one thing is to simply let the memory go through its course with as least interference from my part as possible. 2) if the wave of cringey memories is too intense, i might do an affirmation such as: • in the big-picture of my life, those moments are like a grain of sand. • it's been a long time, i was confused and lost back then • it could've been worse 3) use humor finally, i might exaggerate the situation.

interesting testimonial

it's good that you're passionate and motivated about your career. just be careful not to get too obsessed with that pursuit.

Buddha didn't say you should renounce human life. Quite the contrary. After seeing first-hand that neither having all the luxury in life nor renouncing everything produce true happines; he came up with the concept of the Middle Way.

do you like eating red meat?

some background about myself i plan to do an intuitive, random, and intimate type of journal. i have nothing to lose from being open. obviously, i will use common sense. i think it'll be nice to know that people might be reading this and resonating with what i'm going through. just to give you some background: i'm a guy in my mid-twenties. i suffered from moderate depression and social anxiety disorder from 9-23. i finally found a good psychiatrist who prescribed me the correct medication. i've been stabilized since December of 2019. and i've also been going to a great therapist (she's expensive, but really worth it). i feel she really helps me get into the path of reconstructing my life. it's not just a superficial change. it's as if i'm going to my roots. it's the type of progress that nobody can take away from me. after many years, i'm finally in the "right" direction. i'm majoring in psychology, and i'm going to my 4th semester (out of 10). i'm bissexual (with a preference to men). i consider myself attractive. my hair is thinning, but fortunately it still not something that is really noticeable. tinder i've been using it for almost three years. even though it has a bad rep, if you are patience and able to filter the wheat from the chaff, it's worthy. Yes, 99% of people there suck, but i'm really glad i met those 1%. one problem that i used to have is that i only got matches with men. it was frustrating tbh. fortunately, i think they finally fixed that and now i'm getting matches with girls as well. since i started using it, i haven't had a date with girl yet. i'm looking forward to it. but i've been really selective nowadays. i won't go out with someone just to kiss or get laid. there has to be a connection. a hack to get automatically better at organization i used to struggle with that a lot. i had a powerful insight that was to simply focusing on (literally) aligning things and making them more aesthetically pleasant. just this simple change has been giving me awesome results. when i align things i immediately start to get into the right mindset. it sounds like it doesn't make a difference, but it has been life-changing for me. unconsciously, i used to resist to that due to the incorrect notion that wanting things to be aligned = ocd. want to get back into teaching portuguese i'm brazilian. i used to tutor portuguese for non-native speakers. i got fed up with it. but lately i've been wanting to get back to it. but now i will only accept intermediate and advanced students. i don't enjoy teaching beginners. it demands too much effort imo. i've applied on a site. i think i'll get a response in the next few days. i really hope it works out. i've been able to make a habit of working on creating activities everyday. in fact, i'll do this right now lol. i think that's enough for today. bye =)

I really liked that sentence

If you are prone to compulsive eating, how would fasting help you? I think it'll only intensify the problem. People tend to overeat after they fast. It's a biological response.

Just look at how humans have selectively bred apex predator wolves into chihuahuas, pugs and sausage dogs over only 30,000 years. If you can go from wolf to sausage dog in 30,000 years you can go from giraffe with short neck to giraffe with long neck in 50 million years. You are underestimating just how much time a billion years is. A turtle doesn't just spontaneously generate a shell. It happens very gradually. Maybe you had a population of something that looked like a lizard, then the members of the population with the hardest skin survive more. Once you have a population with hard skin, eventually one of them has a mutation that very slightly infuses the bone and the hardened skin, giving it even greater defense. And then over time the members with greater degrees of this bone/skin infusion survive longer, and eventually you have a shell. The reason I think these things seem unrealistic to you is that it's so difficult to process these timescales. It's also difficult to process just how much life there is on earth at any given time, all of which is evolving and mutating. In a relative sense, from your POV, the universe is very very mechanical and operates pretty much like clockwork. From an absolute perspective reality is mystical and intelligently designed. It is possible for both of these things to be true at the same time. God could conceive of a reality that is mechanical like clockwork That makes sense. I didn't quite understand the nuance that evolution doesn't happen overnight. But instead, it's usually small changes that happen over a veeeery long period of time. And, yes, we humans have a very hard time grasping how much a billion year actually is. Anyway, you explained all of that well and clearly! Thanks

why have you stopped playing video games? i've had friends like these. it's really tiresome. in my case, the thing that would push me to do was weed. i'd hang out with them at their house, and every time they'd smoke. and they had a stupid unwritten law that if one person stopped smoking, everybody else also would. and they'd take copious amounts. this friendship really pinpointed a flaw that i had, which was an intense difficulty with setting boundaries.

because if the only thing you have in your life is your morning routine, then it's natural that your energy falls after you're done with it hobbies can also help

do you work or study?

have you considered the possibility that the only thing that would happen is that you'd cease to exist? that you'd be the same that you were before you were born? no fancy spiritual experience of either God embracing you in his Infinite Bliss, nor getting stuck in a spiral of hell. just complete and utter nothingness.

YES, you did! you were being yourself with her. that's 1000x more attractive that entering a fake alpha-male mode and be completely artificial. i'm really glad you did that. you have to respect your natural desires. it probably hasn't. my only suggestion is to not try anything sexual with her again.

be more selective of what you make notes "is this super meaningful to me?" > if not, then let it go