kag101

Dude, you are way too hard on yourself. Btw - if you don't take the antidepressant every single day, it will not work.

Sorry, but the human psyche is much more complex than that. You will not overcome mental illness by "stop judging".

It sounds like clinical depression. Have you ever considered going to a psychiatrist? A good one can certainly help you.

Do you love her? That is to say, are you as interested in her as much as she is interested in you?

Dude, there’s a huge difference between being “orange” and being an inconsiderate asshole. Also, being “green” does not imply that you have to be this goody-goody. So, I think you should say no to him in a clear and unapologetic way.

I think it depends on the perspective. We all need emotional bonding so that we have a sense of belongingness. No man is an island. However, the idea that friendships or a romantic partner will -- by themselves -- fulfill you is bullshit. If my life is empty (no life purpose, hate my job, don't have any hobbies), I can have the best friends in the world; but I will still be unhappy. What relationships (romantic or not) can in fact do is "multiply the happiness and divide the sadness". By sharing great moments with other people, the level of fulfillment is amplified. I love being by myself, but it is definitely not enough to have a fulfilling life. I think you got hurt, and now you have retreated into your shell. While I was reading your post, it actually reminded me of a song by Paul Simon. Take a look and see if it resonates with you, hehe: Another thing: IMO, the idea that "true friendships last for a lifetime" is a myth. One of the teachings of the Buddha is impermanence. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end. When we say good bye to someone, a lot of times another person comes up. It's like the seasons... fall, winter, spring, and summer... In regards to romantic relationships, I'd suggest you keep open to any new possibilities that arise. Sooner or later, someone who is really interesting and is interested in you will appear. It's just a matter of having patience, not creating big expectations, and in the mean-while focusing on your self-development. "The secret is not to run after butterflies, is to take care of the garden so that they come to you..." -- Mario Quintana

how to stop caring about the opinoin of others

Well, I'd say that actually the universe doesn't give a fuck about me, lol.

Have you seen Leo's video on this topic?

Say that again, lol

I don't think I've fully understand what you wrote. You had promised that you weren't going to smoke anymore, and you ended up doing it?

@Oliver Saavedra Yeap, it was a very powerful insight. Thing is, most of the times, it's not even a painful pain (lol). It's just some minor discomfort. Then I get fearful about whether it will evolve to be a serious or maybe chronic thing... And I'd say that what helps the most, in my case, is to do the opposite of focusing on the sensation. I try to distract myself as much as possible so that I forget about the discomfort. This helps to break my fixation on it. Does that make sense?

"The surest way to go to hell is by running away from it." —Garbor Maté Here's my realization: I have a phobia of feeling pain. I have come up with the term "painphobia". Every time I have some discomfort in my body, I can't let go of it and my monkey mind goes wild:"What if this becomes chronic? What if it gets worse? What if it is something more serious? What if there's something fundamentally wrong with me?" Thing is, virtually always, it's something temporary. Or at least, it's not so bad. Here are my insights on how to overcome it: Insight 1: Simply becoming aware of this tendency. The moment you name the dragon, it begins to lose its power. Leo has a very good episode on this (awareness is curative) Insight 2: By being so aversed to pain and trying to suppress all discomfort, this paradoxically creates more pain. A going full-circle kinda thing. Insight 3: Refrain from brute forcing my way out of it "Fuck you, stupid fear. I will expose myself to pain as much as possible, and I will overcome this shit no matter what. I'm sick of it!" >> I've tried this in the past, and not only is it useless but it ends up amplifying the problem. Repression creates obsession. Solution: By noticing over and over again that those fears are pure illusion, I gradually start to overcome this phobia. Example: "OMG! My right shoulder is aching. It must be tendinitis. This will go on forever, and I will never be able to play the piano again without pain. Ohhhh... wait a second! Painphobia is present! Let's observe how this pain will be in 3 days." 3 days later... >> I have either found a solution or the pain went away on its own. Note: The mind is very tricky. If I don't consciously pay close attention to the pain, when it does go away, I will forget that I had it. Conclusion: By going through this gentle process of observation over and over again and realizing that I was overreacting, the next time a wave of painphobia comes up; it will be less and less intense.

Contemplate if he is a good company at this time in your life. As hard as this might sound, sometimes we have to let a person we have affection for go...

One thing's for sure: you can't love yourself if you haven't been loved by someone else before. Have you ever done psychotherapy?

I see it more as entertainment. But lots of people take it way too damn seriously. Even companies rely too heavily on this test. It sounds scientific, but it is not.

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I've been doing this as well. But I am just cutting off people who I clearly don't have anything to lose from. The trap here is cutting too many people at once, because chances are, you'll cut someone who you might regret later. I've gone through that, and it sucks. So now, I'm doing it in baby steps. And feels good.

Awesome! Feel free to DM me if you need emotional support or something.

@Codrina Here's my question to you: are you giving this love and attention to yourself as well?

Forget about the crown and third-eye chakra for now. And focus especially on the root chakra. You have to come back to planet Earth. Sleep deprivation is a very serious thing. If it doesn't normalize, you will have a mental breakdown sooner or later. Keep us posted!!

haha, wtf is this journal

You just answered your own question... "Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground." — Theodore Roosevelt

Idk, bud, that sounds kinda cringey tbh. Maybe they were laughing at you...