kag101

First of all, it's hard for anyone to help you if you don't give more detail. Second, if you're not seeing any kind of progress whatsoever, then it's a waste of time to keep pushing it.

evidence?

Well, I think it's important for you to exert self-control so that you don't have a neediness attack. This is a sure way to repel someone. How are the other areas of your life?

Why do you have this need of telling people what you realized? Maybe you're not as evolved as you think you are. Check out this episode: I agree. He's way too arrogant. That's airy-fairy. I can see if I read this years ago (when I was spending way too much time alone), I would use that to rationalize my social anxiety by telling myself: "Oh... you see? I don't need anybody. I should feel content being with myself 24/7. I am connected to everything." We do need emotional bonding with others. There's no other way around it. It's basic Psychology.

I find this relatively recent episode to be truly motivational: It's not that Tony Robbins high-energy motivation (which I personally don't resonate with). Instead, it's a calm explanation on how to live wisely.

I do like to chant "OM". I find it very relaxing and it's good to quiet down the mind. As with tapping, I'm done with it.

If you can afford it, I highly recommend you go to a good psychiatrist. Depression and social anxiety are treatable illnesses.

This is nothing but placebo. If you change the tapping points, the effects will be the same. I attended a workshop on EFT once. I thought it would be the answer to all my emotional problems, that I would be immune to depression, and that I wouldn't need medicines ever again (as if it were a secret ultra-powerful self-healing technique). Needless to say, that was a completely unrealistic expectation. I don't use this technique any longer, and I don't recommend it. For me, it was a waste of time and energy.

Unfortunately yes, I do. There you have it.

Congrats for being open-minded. Why are you in this "truth hunt" in the first place? This is not a valid reason to continue doing something. Is your spiritual seeking bringing you any benefits?

Do you eat a lot at lunch?

I agree, namely a psychiatrist. It can be really transformative! I doubt that this has to do with your diet tbh, Wanting to sleep forever and escape reality is a classic sign of depression.

NO! There is nothing loving about killing oneself. Do not romanticize suicide. I do feel compassion for those who take their own lives away -- because it means that the pain was so intense that the person could not put up with it anymore. It is a tragedy. Seek help! Feel free to PM me if you feel like talking. How can you be so sure about that?!

What an asshole. Good! “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. Don't be a damn fool about it.” ― W.C. Fields You deserve someone better! That said, letting someone go is definitely not an easy thing to do. But you'll survive!

Writing classes can be really useful.

Indeed, crying can be comforting, or it can be literally painful. Excessive crying is actually a common sign of depression. I had a depressive episode a few months ago, and as soon as it kicked in, I started to feel a lot of self-pity, hopelessness, and I really felt like crying. It was awful. I’m glad my psychiatrist and I figured out what triggered it.

Haha, relax... I would guess this one. I didn’t really get why you cut ties with him. Being very similar to each other was a bad thing? Or did you broke up out of fear?

Obviously.

Do you smoke weed? Do you take sleeping pills?

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There is no director.

So you had experience with only one psychiatrist? How about psychotherapy? Have you ever done it?

Yes. But she has a doctorate in psychology. There are a lot of “psychoanalysts” Out there who get a certificate without Making effort. My doc told me it is hard to tell whether it was mania or not. But anyway, I was heavily agitated. I felt superb in the beginning then eventually I started to get irritated af. Awful feeling... No! It helps deal with my neurosis, excessive worry and fear, etc. Basically, it helps strengthen my emotional intelligence what made me “change” (in reality go back to my natural self) was the medication

"Psychotherapy is a sanctuary; it is a battleground; it is a place I have been psychotic, neurotic, elated, confused, and despairing beyond belief. But, always, it is where I have believed–or have learned to believe–that I might someday be able to contend with all of this." - Kay Redfield Jamison Background I have suffered from depression, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety since I was 12. I have always avoided the traditional ways to healing (psychotherapy & psychiatry). I thought it wasn't effective. I had gone to a few of them, but none were actually good. No psychotherapy > bad psychotherapy. So instead, I tried all the unorthodox approaches : Neuroliguistic Programming, veganism, Yoga, Tai Chi, theater classes, hypnosis, family constellation, hardcore meditation, cold showers, Tapping, Ayahuasca ceremonies, etc. Some of those things work in the short-term. But sooner or later, I'd fall on my ass and be worse off. This would make me feel very frustrated because I felt it was working because of me. "I am done with unorthodox approaches. I want the traditional!" A year ago, I was going through a major depressive episode. I was waking up at 5 PM, would only stay in bed, watch random stuff on the internet, was heavily socially anxious. Sleeping and eating was the most exciting things in my day. So, I decided to try a psychiatrist a friend recommended. To sum up, he was very blunt, arrogant, and incompetent. After six months of treatment, I had a hypo-maniac episode (which is a negative type of euphoria). This was caused by being prescribed the wrong medication. Then, last June, I found a psychiatrist online that had very good reviews. And I also started going to a really good psychologist. She has tons of experience, and is very empathetic. She never once told me something like: "You're being lazy", "You're too sensitive", "You need to push yourself more." She does not tell me what I "need" to do. Instead, through dialogue, I come to the conclusion by myself. And because she doesn't scold me, I feel safe to open up to her. And btw, psychotherapy is not just a conversation. Far from it. Results It's been about six months that I have been with this psychologist + psychiatrist, and here's what I have accomplished so far: 1) My mood is finally stable. A year ago, I'd have a good day, and then 6 very depressed days. Obviously, I am not 100% everyday, but I can actually function, live life with its ups and downs. It is a great blessing to not feel debilitating and unreasoning emotions. I still feel bad sometimes, but now it has a cause, is manageable, and is not overwhelming. 2) My psychiatrist gave two medications that fit me very well. One of it gives me energy and will-power. And the other one helps me shut down my mind and go to sleep. Each medication cancels the side effects of the other one. 3) My sexuality is much healthier. 4) I have stopped smoking weed, drinking alcohol, and using any type of psychedelics. Although I didn't admit, I was pretty much addicted to those things. And in my case, nothing that alters my normal state of mind is good for me. 5) I am proactively finding new things to do. Instead of being in bed all day or just mindlessly use the internet; I actually want to get out of the house. (I am not neurotic about always being outside doing stuff though). 6) I have started to take keyboard and Spanish classes. I practice yoga and soccer by myself daily (I don't have to force myself; it's organic). And I also walk my dog with a dog trainer twice a week. So my routine has more meaningful and exciting things. 7) My relationships are much more healthy. Regarding friends, I can now set healthy boundaries more easily. Regarding dating, I am actually going out with people! (which was something unimaginable a few months ago). I am learning how to deal with jealousy, rejection, and so on. And finally regarding my family, it's all getting very harmonic. 8) I am more laid-back. I used to be very tensed up and neurotic about stuff. Instead of thinking about existential, deep and shadowy stuff all day (but having no results), I now direct all of this to my weekly 1-hour of psychotherapy. This way in my day-to-day life; I feel lighter, less tensed and overly-profound, and more playful. 9) I can trust that I will naturally do what's best for me. I am more in-the-moment. I don't hold very strong and inflexible decisions. Instead, I flow with life. > If I am being too stubborn, I identify that and let it go. > If I am being lazy or passive, I negotiate with myself so that I can actually do what I want to do. 9) I am losing weight effortlessly. Or as some self-help authors like to put it, "I am getting back to my natural body form". Because of the depression, I was eating copious amounts of food - which made me gain weight. But now I don't crave for food anymore; and I don't have to starve myself to lose weight nor eat stuff that has no flavor. Oh, and I am also sleeping less (from 10-12 hours daily to 7-9 hours). 10) I am taking more care of my appearance and well-being. I use moisturizer; I use a type of shampoo that covers my white hair; I am shaving some parts of my body. It is not something "over the top". It's healthy. I am not abandoning my body; instead, I am taking care of it. Important: Boy oh boy, did I wish I could accomplish all of that through reading self-help books, watching videos, meditating the shit out of me, talking with a "spiritual" friend; or using psychedelics. I learned the hard way that I cannot depend on those things to be healthy psychologically - they are just a complement for high-quality face-to-face psychotherapy and psychiatry. If you liked the quote at the beginning of this topic, check this out: https://www.beliefnet.com/columnists/beyondblue/2010/10/kay-redfield-jamison-on-psycho-1.html.

Wow, that’s a very nice thing to hear! Thanks! I’ve been doing well. I feel stable. And I feel I’m getting better at dealing with life’s challenges. In the state that I’m in right now I feel like life is neither easy nor hard - but just on the right Level. I am now able to have consistency, which is something I’ve always struggled with. Depression is still tamed, fortunately. I hate that bitc*..., srly... I wish I had gone through a good psychiatrist before. It pisses me off how I arrogantly tried to heal my mental health by myself. There is a whole Scientific field of study Focused on those problemas, but I thought they were all wrong and “low consciousness”. Unfortunately psychiatry has a bad rep, because there are a lot of shitty professionals... However, High-quality psychiatric treatment can be literally life-saving. Sometimes I’m glad that my mental illness was intense, because it made me dysfunctional and therefore forced me to seek help. If it were softer and Manageable, I would very likely never go to a psychiatrist office. It’s not an easy thing to do. I wish I had written the title of this topic: “The power of psychiatric treatment”. Because what really made me go to the next level was not psychotherapy. If I were still feeling like an anxious zombie, therapy wouldnt be so effective. that said, it does help a lot. Thanks for the comment