kag101

Nice

How long have you been feeling well? For how long did you feel depressed and suicidal? Where did you about learn about all of this hormones replacement?

Well, it might have done some damage, but it probably is something temporary. A bigger problem would be if you were still using psychedelics... They are known for triggering paranoia, for example. A similar thing happened to me. But, unlike you, I was in denial. That is, I was interpreting the whole thing as something spiritual. As if I was entering the energy field of the collective unconscious. I thought I was waking up spiritually. Little did I know, I was going mad. I had to hit rock bottom to go to a psychiatrist. And let me tell you, dude, it really helped. I was getting "flashbacks" of that state of insanity regularly, even without using any type of mind altering substance. That shit was scary af. So I ended up having to take an antipsychotic for about 3 months or so. And it was crucial to my mental health.

Finances: it's hard to make progress Finances is something that I kinda suck at. I don't have a proper control, and this can be a big source of anxiety. I don't want to solve this problem by being neurotic. Sometimes I don't feel like I deserve to get a lot of money, success, etc. People I have been talking with I haven't talked much with people (through messaging) lately. I am pretty minimalist. If I don't feel like talking with someone, I will not. Breaks are important so that the relationship gets fresh again. I have started to talk with a girl who is interesting. I don't know about other countries, but where I live is really hard to get matches on Tinder with girls. It's pretty annoying and frustrating. But I'm glad I have finally started to talking with one who I find attractive, nice, and who is also interested in me. Hehe... Everything good except one thing There's a person who I've been talking with who really resonates with me. I've been talking with him over the last 5 months, but we haven't met irl. I have been trying not to have too much expectation. I know that any type of bond – romantic or not – takes time to consolidate. It's a matter of having experiences with the other person, and seeing how he or she treated me. It's kinda tempting when meeting with someone I resonate with to create way too much expectation. In this case, I think it's a reciprocal thing. Whenever we talk he is always sweet. The only thing that kinda annoys me is the fact that I am always the one who sends the first message, I haven't sent any over the last week, and neither has he. This is frustrating. Sometimes I think, "What's the difficulty with sending a freaking 'hi'?" Honestly, this is making me kinda lose interest in him. It's not an egoic thing. I'm fine with starting the conversation most times, but not all the times. Let's see how that goes... Self-love On the other hand, I am in a phase of self-love, and I have been thinking about romantic love as something lame tbh. Just a stupid illusion. I'm glad I'm not one of those people who are addicted to romance/relationships. For the most part of my life, I was on the other side of the spectrum. But now I am beginning to learn how to allow myself to have feelings from someone -- but to also counterbalance that with self-love/life purpose.

Have you been diagnosed with clinical depression?

Are you taking Adderall under medical supervision?

What have you changed? Exactly. Do you like them in general?

Have you removed everything that reminds you of him (his social medias, presents, etc)?

Obviously not.

Good. I think you have to be strategic. I know that it can suck to go back living with your parents. But getting neurotic about that will not help. So I think it's important to be resilient, understand that it is something temporary, and find ways to not freak out (for example, limiting how much time you spend with them). Can you explain in greater detail what does it mean for your "ego" to be wrapped up around the notion of being smart? Very good ?????

Are you still taking psychedelics? Forget about spirituality and just do mundane stuff. Spend time with your family, cook, watch a movie, etc.

https://www.additudemag.com/oppositional-defiant-disorder-in-adults/

Why are you trying to dissolve your ego? I think that focusing on Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a good way to create stability.

I think that you were the one who was stubborn for insisting. In other words, you went into desperate mode, lol. I think it's okay to text as long as it is something reciprocal. If the person seems uninterested, then it's no use trying to force it.

I think you're fooling yourself.

Spiritual-bypassing.

Hmm... interesting. ? How bad is this self-consciousness?

I disagree. Self-help can be useful, but it certainly is not a panacea like some people claim. @SamC Interesting topic. You seem honest and aware. I think that's the first step to overcoming this problem. It's hard to be in a relationship in that way. It will sabotage everything. It's like a virus. I think psychotherapy can really help with that. I don't think that affirmations are enough, because love is not something you can "talk yourself into", it's something you have to feel. And regarding self-love, yeah, it's important. But you need to have received love from another human being before. Did you get love & care from someone as you were growing up?

Mental health is so freaking important - yet so undervalued. What is the point of living if one's neurotransmitters are not working properly? My grandma treated for cancer for like 8 years. This whole thing ended up triggering depression in her. Her cancer was stabilized, but she was like zombie. Fortunately, the fact that I went to a psychiatrist who actually helped me get healthy mentally once again inspired my mom to seek help in that area for my grandma. And it worked for her as well. I feel grateful that I indirectly helped her to live her last months as her "natural self". She was making jokes, she met and played with her grand granddaughter, etc. So yeah... happy world mental health day!

Stop trying to be confident; focus on being natural instead! We live in an extroverted-normative society. Whoever doesn't fit in the "alpha" guy is considered of less value. If you try to be "alpha", you might end up looking like this: In other words, cringey af. For many years, I tried to emulate how my sister is (she's really outgoing and extroverted). It was hell, because I had to force myself way too much and I was inauthentic. I recommend a book called "Quiet - Susan Cain". This sounds like a (hypo)maniac episode. I would also recommend you go to a psychiatrist to treat your mental illness. I had never thought about that earlier, but in my case my social phobia was caused by my untreated depression. As soon as my doctor found the right medication for me, social anxiety simply vanished. Nowadays I do get insecure at times, but it's manageable.

Good point! I'd add that many spiritual teachers who act "saintly" often have skeletons in their closet (sexual abuse, corruption, etc.)

This! Share your experience with those who ask for your input. You can't shove your "deep opinions" down other people's throat. There are few types of people who are more annoying than those who try to be philosophical and deep all the time!

I started to get interested in personal development because I had unresolved emotional traumas (that ended up triggering depression & anxiety). During college, I was meditating a lot, pursuing enlightenment, etc. It was an overly inward kinda thing. I was basically withdrawing myself from the world. And truth to be told, my practices were not giving me results. I was half-assing self-actualization, It's as if I was trying to self-medicate my depression through self-help. It didn't work. Only when I started to treat this illness through the traditional approach did I actually start to feel like I was truly self-actualizing. You mentioned that you did therapy. How did that go? Do you still do it?

So you're saying that this technique can treat cancer?

Are you ok?