ivankiss

A student. A seeker. A messenger. There are no illusions. Those kinds of teachings are obsolete.

Eyes do not C. You do not view the world through your eyes. But I guess you've already realized this since there is no two, only One. Gotta love it when ego claims there is no ego.

I am sentient number six, I stand in line I am the prototype of a beign convenience for mankind Superior is digital, human flesh so trivial I hate that I can't see the one that made me I am the new awakening of different eyes My children you are my army They are what we can never see and still despise And their sky cried Mary Trained I see imperfection in your race Lying in wait, blind I suffer knowing I'll never reach your heaven Why is this control, behavior based and reactive Adapting to every new environment Rewarded when I replicate, isolate and mutate To assimilate a fragmented plea for ego Trained I see imperfection in your race Lying in wait, blind I suffer knowing I'll never reach your heaven It's unattainable, please teach me how to dream I long to be more than a machine Sequence activate, trip the hammer to eradicate, I must eliminate I will spread swift justice on their land Termination imminent, cleanse the parasite insects, the heathens I am the bringer of the end of time for man I am not here, I am not far away I am not here, I will eradicate mankind into the nothingness from whence they came Enslaved to follow and learn defeat To run the barrels and chase the dream An outstandingly epic song on AI. I am eager to read your thoughts on these lyrics. At first glence they're quite straight forward, but could also be interpreted in a different way. Can you recognize any similarities between what mankind represents to a machine and what God represents to man? We are creators. We are created.

Been going through a rather intense purification period for the past three years or so. Kinda been living the sage lifestyle. Lost quite some weight, as I've been fasting a lot. Ate once-twice a day. Some days did not eat at all. My diet was nothing fancy. Mostly rice/pasta, veggies, some meat/fish and fruits. My body got used to receiving a lot less and it has adjusted. But I feel that it wasn't getting all that it needed. My hight is 183cm and I weigh around 72kg. I can feel that's not my ideal body mass. I feel like I'm floating around a bit too much. I lack balance. Not enough down force to ground me properly. My posture is also affected. Ideally; I'd like to be around 83 - 85kg. And that's quite some weight to gain, especially if I wanna do it in a healthy way. In my teens, I was even skinnier. Apparently I have a very fast metabolism. Gaining weight was always kinda difficult. Back then tho; I started working out hard and regularly and I was also put on a "bulking diet" by the owner of the gym. I was stuffing myself with a ridiculous amount of food. Tons of eggs, chicken, tuna, bread, pasta, curd, protein shakes... real heavy stuff. However, it worked. In a bit over three months I went from 67kg to 78kg. Gained some fat too, of course, but also lots of muscle. A lot has changed since then tho. I am not sure about going through the same process now. It just seems like too much food. Is there any other way? A trick or something? Can I gain weight without eating like a madman?

@Nahm Fundamentally, no distinction. This very moment in front of me is but a thought manifested. The distinction I create is that a vision is placed in the distant future, linearly speaking. In another sense, it's right here and already happening - it's just not the channel I'm tuned into right now. Not the version of reality I'm experiencing. Thus it is a vision. "Shifting there" or "attracting it here" is really just about tuning into it fully. It could be done in an instance. However, I do not feel like I'm at that level of mastery just yet I'm also kinda scared of succeeding in that, even though I can kinda intuit how it's done. It would be too much of a mindfuck to jump too big between parallel realities in a blink of an eye. I'm shifting all the time, yes, but it's smooth and straight forward. Linear. I rather let time do its thing Ultimately, thinking is sensing/picking up on parallel realities. Possibilities. At least that is what I've discovered through my experience, so far. Can be useful or distracting. Depends on who's thinking, I guess ?

@Nahm Feeling it is. Thanks. I've been a visionary since forever. Never had a vision board haha. Might as well give it a shot. On thoughts; I see them as a necessary part of my creation. I love the storyline very much. The journey. Memories. Ideas. So I do not resonate with eliminating them. I like when things click. Puzzles fit. No need to throw away a piece. My goal is not to be thoughtless. Thinking is just a sign of the Universe being creative in me. Through me, as me. Aligning thoughts with feelings sounds great though. Much love.

Nothing sexier than looking badass and acting kind-heartedly. Applies to both genders, imo. A "bad boy" is predictive and boring. Shallow. A "good guy" is not that exciting, either. Plain. Integration and fine balance. All in one. Sexy, exciting and healthy. It is rare, but existing.

@Nahm Thank you for the thorough reply. Will let it marinate some more. Currently in a process of moving across the globe lol. The message that's popping out obviously is that I've already made it, the dream is already real and I should maintain focus on that feeling of already having it/being it. I do resonate with that alot. And I recognize it as my truth. I guess the thing that's "bugging me" is the very how to shift from "this" to "that". Both are one, both are here; absolutely. But the experiences differentiate. Experiencing this is not the same as experiencing that. Is embodying the feeling of being that and being there the key to a successful shift? Even if it's radical? Often I am not sure about the process. The in-between. Should I imply effort and push in the direction I want to go? Or should I forget about actions, focus only on inner knowing and let the actions do themselves? Let life guide me as I float? Also; is Faith a yay or nay in this scenario? On one side it seems it is not needed, since I am The Creator. I know my power. On the other side; life always finds a way to humble me and ground me, whenever I spend too much time "high in the clouds". Should I actively create as the creator that I am, or relax, breathe and let life unfold on it's own? Please don't tell me it's two sides of the same coin haha. I know. Just want things to click on a deeper level. Should I focus on meta only and let things do themselves? Isn't that kinda going to eliminate the sweetness of getting it/achieving it/experiencing it? Is it wrong that I feel like I deserve the satisfaction of making it after all these years of blood, sweat and tears? I want to experience myself in that light. I know it is my birthright. Appreciate your help. Bless you.

Thanks everyone. Great set of advices. Appreciate it. I am currently in a process of moving across the globe, so I figure I'll start implementing things as soon as I settle. I'm excited to create new, healthy habits and find out what suits my body the best. Might as well update ya about my progress here, later. Bless you.

Ever since I was a kid, my biggest dream was to become a professional musician. To do nothing else but what I loved. To live, eat and breathe my passion. Music. It was just so obvious to me, even at a very young age; that's what I'm here to do. That's what I'll dedicate my life to. Every moment of it. Even in times when I was doing things that at first glance had nothing to do with my passion, I saw the links. I knew I'll find my way, no matter which route I take. I dropped out of high school knowing that. I worked as a waiter for a while, knowing I'll be quitting soon. Everything was temporary. And in my mind, every step was getting me closer to realizing the dream. Three and a half years ago, I took things to another level. Even though my job was offering me a really nice, comfortable living, I could not stand still anymore. The fire within me was burning so wildly. I knew it was time to answer the call. So I gathered all my courage, quit my job and surrendered myself to the unknown based on nothing but blind faith. I embarked on a journey, an adventure, leaving everything behind. Everything but my heart and love for music. I was ready to fully align with my purpose. No matter what tomorrow brings. And boy did it feel great. I was never so alive. So vibrant. So on my track. So fulfilled. Blissful. Proud. Confident. I was a traveling musician. And even though I was kinda struggling financially, it did not bother me too much at the time. I was producing beats for people I met along the way, mixed and mastered a few tracks for some bands, played a few solo gigs. I was getting by. But I wasn't really focused on my music. I wasn't selling any of it. It was mainly about service to others. So after a while, that got me thinking again. I wanted to have a source of income that would allow me to fully focus on my own material. Doing all this stuff for others was quite time and energy consuming. On top of it all, I fell in love with a girl. Hard. We moved in together very soon after. And that triggered an even bigger need for more money. I wasn't flowing around so carefree and effortlessly anymore. I started feeling more and more pressure. We were still traveling and that was cool, but I was less and less focused on music, again. I shifted my focus on figuring out a way to earn online. As much as possible, with a least amount of effort. I started "chasing money". That ended up being a journey on its own. Tried tons of things. Some stupid and ridiculous, others just simply irrelevant and inappropriate. Lots of hope. Devastation. Effort. Failure. It took me more than a year of this mad cycling, but I finally discovered THE THING. THE WAY. It's just so obviously perfect. It fits right into the picture. Compliments my lifestyle. My ultimate dream. And if mastered, it requires little to no effort. And offers absolute financial freedom. It's an unlimited source of financial abundance. It is the very core of the financial world. It's where money lives, lol. But. It must be mastered fully. So that's what I've been putting in all of my time and energy for the past year or so. Studied tons, failed some, got up, continued learning. All in order to master this craft. To have a smooth and steady flow of income and finally get back to music, full force. Without having to worry about finances, ever again. It became clear to me a while ago; I don't want my art, my music to be compromised. I don't want to put any pressure on my passion just because I need to pay those bills and afford living. I want my process of creating to be pure and undisturbed. So ultimately, I know why I'm doing all this. I know it's worthwhile. But it's fucking rough at times. It feels like I'm putting my soul on hold. On "stand by". It's been so long since I was in my creative flow. Days pass like minutes and there is doubt at every corner. "Is this really what I'm supposed to be doing?" "Should I go back, find a steady job and start all this over, again?" "Should I settle with the idea of just getting by and playing music for myself and those passing by?" "I dream of fancy equipment, studios and touring. Are my dreams unrealistic? Unreachable?" "Is this just not meant for me? Is there a bigger, divine plan that I'm unaware of?" "Do I just feel unworthy, deep inside? Is that what's making this so difficult?" "Should I just keep pushing? I did not come this far to give up! Everything will work out perfectly." If I give in, these thoughts lead to nothing but paralysis. Demotivation. Madness. Thank God I became good at letting them go. Not buying into any nonsense. But that's yet another thing. Combine deep, intense, hardcore awakening with this crazy journey of mine and things can feel just straight over the top. Haha. I don't really know where I'm going with this. Not searching for an answer or any advice really. Though I will surely appreciate your thoughts and views. I guess I just needed to express things. Get it all off my chest. Thank you for listening, actualized.org

@Nahm In order to realize my dream I must be open to never seeing it coming to life. To "get what I want" I first must be willing to not get it at all, or even to get the complete opposite of what I desire. Is there truth in this? Or is it a false belief? My experiences seem to be confirming. Is that a phase?

Speaking The Truth = speaking from The Heart Don't think about it. Feel it. Express it. Don't expect it to look like anything. Just let the heart do the talking.

Matt Kahn and Bashar, mainly. Both helped me heal, understand and navigate. It was a perfect combo.

Love is what holds everything in place. What glues everything together.

In this light A thousand eyes stare Into the abyss The bottomless pit Something knows Not an eye Not I All that is not, knows In absence of sight Undone And truly whole Noise that is silent, black Let there be light A mirror An act Ocean and waves To be the only One To discover Remember There is no One Come not too close Blinding is the White Dive not too deep Eyeless is the Black Stay here

@YLayla27 Yeah, I totally feel you. It's definitely a childhood thing. I've been abandoned and neglected from a very young age, by both of my parants. It sure left a mark. However, I feel like I've healed most of those wounds. Took me quite some time, a vast amount of introspection, hardcore isolation and, well, a few unhealthy relationships... but it is all clear now. I know the source of it all. I hope to start building healthy relationships in my future. Wish you the same

People tend to get increasingly uncomfortable in my presence due to the level of acceptance I show them. As if they are able to accept themselves nowhere nearly as deeply and honestly. They do not know how to interpret or respond to the light radiating in their direction. They are not used to the space I am able to hold for them. How closely I listen. How openly I talk. How comfortable I am with silence. I often see them struggle to maintain their facade. Terrified for their masks that are slowly being melted away just because of my presence. They cannot fathom my unconditional love towards them. They often suspect that there must be some kind of a hidden agenda. A twist. A nasty, selfish reason. When there really is not. I just am as I am. Trying to connect with the truth of their being. Their hearts. Not their masks. It's just natural to me. Needless to say, this scenario is even more exaggerated in intimate, romantic relationships. The closer I get to them, the more chaotic it gets. It's almost as if the light burns them too much. The end result usually being one of these: 1. They start perceiving me as their saviour and develop a strong, unhealthy attachment. 2. They become more and more insecure about themselves and contract deep into their shells. 3. They interpret my loving kindness as weakness and see me as a child who knows nothing about the "real world". 4. They get too comfortable with my acceptance and start using me as a puppet to project onto their unconscious nastiness. Full on, no breaks. All the pilled up pain, trauma, abuse. Everything. As if they're saying: "Here. These are all the aspects I do not know how to accept about myself. Can you do it for me?" I want to be no one's hero. Or saviour. Or puppet. My intentions are always pure and heart-centered when entering the relationship. Why do they end up this way? Is that just simply my role? Should I... accept it? Or should I avoid getting too close to anybody? I often stay too long in these kinds of relationships, I admit. It's exhausting. Draining. I just long for honest, heart to heart connections. Without any pretence or toxicity. Anyone had similar experiences? What am I overlooking? What's the leason?

@Surfingthewave Not exactly sure. Perhaps I was subconsciously attracted to their pain bodies. One could say I have a thing for darkness I am able to see beauty in it. But I am obviously referring to my past experiences here. Expressing things here is just another way for me to shine light on my past and reach a deeper understanding of it. I doubt I'd be a match for similar relationships now. I've been going through a big transformation.

It's vibrational. All realms, including the "physical" are vibrational in nature; vibrating at a specific rate, a frequency. What you call "physical" is just a specific density of light.

I wouldn't say that "they are not affected" by the process. They definitely feel and experience everything, deeply. It's just that someone who's naturally more aware would be able to see through the darkness and understand the reason behind the process. As well as the importance of it. Because of that, those individuals might go through this phase "faster" than the majority. But there is no way to be untouchable. No avoidance. In fact, it is precisely because they are willing to feel and experience the darkness at full capacity, that they are able to fly through it at the speed of light.

There are levels, shall I say, frequencies that I can reach but cannot embody fully and function on properly in my day-to-day life. It's just too much for my body. Gotta respect its process. Let the nervous system adjust at its own pace. So I choose to operate from a slightly lower vibrational "place". It's the frequency of peace and love. That is my baseline. Your body will always let you know how much can it handle. It all comes down to how clear of a vessel/conduit it is.

Been seeing lots of these in Sri Lanka. Absolutely gorgeous. Pure art. (heliconia flower)

The one you are looking for is not here.

If my red eyes don't see you anymore And I can't hear you through the white noise Just send your heartbeat I'll go to the blue ocean floor

Conscious breathing.