Azrael

I occasionally have meditations in which this happens very directly. Meaning, that I see flashes of memories (very vivid) or hear voices from my friends and family. I have this on a daily basis but just as normal thoughts and as I described sometimes in great visual or auditory detail in meditations (very often late at night when I'm merging with the hypnagogic state). This is perfectly normal and yes it's part of the purging Leo talks about. The shit get processed and needs to go out of your brain - so it takes the route of thoughts and emotions. Just watch and enjoy the show as if you would sit in a big cinema all alone seeing your life in 16k right in front of you. If you develop this kind of perspective over time everything seems to be just marvelous to experience. Cheers

Ok, that's a point I agree. But in my experience it is more how to approach these things. They can definitely hold you back if you handle them as 99% percent of the society that just is completely sucked into them (Leo made a whole video about that). But I think - and that's just my opinion - it's more about how you deal with alcohol, coffee and sweets and not about them as substances. I can for example use alcohol very effectively to alter my state of mind and see different perspectives (what I tend to do when I drink). However, you can get just shit-faced drunk and if you do that regularly, yes this will probably fuck you up. Same with sugar and coffee. I can see beauty in the taste (if consumed consciously) but I can see great danger if consumed as I liked it in the past - just getting as much of it in me. So - and I can just talk for myself on this point - I think there are different ways to go about it. If it really hinders you - maybe get rid of some of it or consume it with greater pauses. Great point, though!

From all I have learned during my journey so far, the most progress is made when you lay crying on the floor, completely shattered, not knowing what is happening, wanting to stop, being out of your mind and thinking you are mentally ill. That's when you make real progress. No kidding here. See it this way: Depending on how old you are you've been fed years with bullshit social conditioning about who you are and how everything works. Now you are trying to get this out of your system with meditation and contemplation a.k.a. self-inquiry. This has to go out - so it takes the route of thoughts and emotions. You are progressing like nuts I'd say. Normally, this comes in cycles. So you will feel shitty for some time and then you'll maybe have the greatest time of your life (that's how it works with me). If you have the later just try to remember that feeling so that you can ground yourself in it when you feel shitty as fuck. From my experience these cycles get longer and more intense with time. So prepare yourself and have a good time. It'll be worth it any ways.

Yep, especially with strong determination sits. Also my legs begin to sleep, can't sense my feet after some time and if I meditate in the night this can come over my whole body (I love it). It's normal, just relax and feel good. Sometimes it feels for me that I'm stuck inside my face - kind of like a mask. It is a very strange but interesting feeling. I guess this "not feeling parts of your body" is similar to a sleep paralysis. if you lie down on your bed and not move for 30 minutes, not even a little bit, your whole body will just go to sleep. You will have the urges to move (as you have in meditation) and than everything gets numb. Some people use that as a starting point for an OBE (out of body experience). I never got so far. However, it's just normal. Have fun with it, I'd say.

Great post @Pierre. I think this is one point that a lot of folks get completely wrong when it comes to spirituality and enlightenment. This has actually nothing to do with the way you handle your business. Whether you are a meat eater, vegetarian, do drugs, kill people. Has nothing to do with that. It is all about to get in real contact with yourself and not to live ethically or like a monk. I handle it this way basically: I try to cut from time to time a little bit of the real bad stuff out of my life. So, I stopped smoking a year ago. Started meditating. Moved to the greatest city in my country. Study the major that I love. However, I still keep some shit periodically in my life and I really enjoy it as much as I can. So, I'll still go partying from time to time. I have a festival planned for this year. I'll still drink alcohol sometimes - have fun and do stupid shit. But I keep it out of my daily loop and more as exceptions. This way (I think) I can live quite long and have good fun. However, I also do this cleaning process of my life very slowly and consistently. So I'll basically get rid of 2-3 things that are not good for me per year. This year I started eating better for example, but I still go crazy on Saturdays if I want to. But all this has nothing to do with my enlightenment journey. This is more of a personal attitude that I have for my life. Have fun and experience it as deeply as you can. That's what I would say

Yeah, I know this fear. Had it a long time as well. What was game-changing for me was one meditation in which I inquired very deeply the question "What is my next thought?" and I had this deep realization that I am not in control of that. Really, not even a little bit. But that there is just a stream of consciousness and the feeling of "I" is just a by-product of that. If this sounds confusing maybe watch Leo's video about Free Will. if you investigate that deeply you can find some great wisdom that will erase that fear because in the end... there is nothing what you could do about it (even if it looks that way on the surface)

Actually, I'd invite you to observe not only your criticism but everything you think. Not actively observing it all of the time, but putting some awareness in it. This way you really learn how you manipulate yourself and others. Be careful with stopping it. I know, it seems like a noble goal. It also seems like a noble goal not to eat meat, to be kind and forgiving. However, seems that this doesn't work to good in the long run with most people. Why? Because you let the devil know. You say, I'm going to observe my criticism and then I'll just stop it. Won't work. And as it won't work you will feel shitty because you see how you are not in control of yourself. And then the Jo-Jo effect kicks in. If you really want to stop something, you completely let go of it without even the intend of letting it go. You just let go and never come back because there is no need to do so. However, this takes some real deep understanding of yourself. Cheers to you!

Yes, there is a lot more then body sensations and thought. The thing is, you cannot simply sense awareness as you want. You have to give yourself some time. From my experience these deeper realizations and this delving into reality kind of happens very spontaneously and randomly. I cannot force it and I also meditate for a good year now. You can probably be awareness consciously if you have seen through the illusion but this also happens spontaneously. So, just go on and give yourself some time and enough practice. You will definitely feel when you enter some deeper territory. Trust me, you will. It's like, when you begin to cry begin because it is so nice to just breath air, then you know that you're going deeper (this actually happened once to me). Cheers to you and keep it on!

@Emerald Wilkins such a deep post, thanks for sharing your wisdom. Since I went on my enlightenment journey a year ago I noticed a similar development. At first everything became better, I was more grounded, highly concentrated and relaxed and thought this enlightenment stuff is really working great with me. What a trap.. As I delved deeper into it, did more work and made it my number one topic in my mind I noticed how my self-confidence would go, how I feel more unsure, how I have completely unpleasant and compulsive thoughts all the time. I had times in which I seriously doubted whether I'm mentally ill because of that. I just couldn't grasp it. It was too much. What I then later realized (similar to you right now) is that this is just the purging process and your ego trying to hold onto itself. We are actually really trying to kill ourself mentally with this journey and your number one instinctive goal is not to die. So kind of a challenge, isn't it? Now, this purging (letting the shit out of your system through thoughts) seems to come in phases (for me). So, right now you are probably very happy and enthusiastic to have this insight and that is perfectly fine. Actually, I would really encourage you to deeply sense how you feel right now and try to remember it. Because in my experience this will just pass and you will feel even more up and down ... up and down as you did before. It's just the process. And I find it very helpful to know this and very deeply sense this realization if I feel shitty. Thanks for your great story and good luck to you, Arik

I agree, also I can understand if you don't want to put the time and effort in it right now. It gets exhausting from time to time. But as @Emerald Wilkins also mentioned you would probably just need a glimpse of the show and the possibility of giving up wouldn't even be a topic anymore in your head. Even if you think right now that everything is good in your life - and cheers to you that's great - be open to the possibility that society puts so much social conditioning in your head that neurosis will develop over time (it probably have been and you don't notice it) and that will generate anxiety and fear. Just look at most elderly people. Here in Germany you either have complete neurotics, narrowed minded and totally closed or the very open people (that always did their shit different). Just telling, you can have a great life w/o enlightenment - I'm sure - but be aware that it's just your ego doesn't want to commit to the work anymore because it's hard. Cheers to you and good luck, you are always welcome to come back (we will be sitting here for a good number of years - hehe)

Oh yes, Shinzen Young - the meditation teacher Leo has these techniques from - sees strong determination sittings as the maybe quickest way to enlightenment because of the directness of the technique. Check out this video in which he explains it a little bit. Stay dedicated, I found these techniques to be highly effective and especially strong determinations sits can - in my experience - lead to immense relaxation and concentration throughout the day that are just beautiful to have. You can actually feel how the shit is purging out of your system. I do a 60 minutes strong determination sitting every day combined with the "Do Nothing" technique or a self-inquiry / contemplating death. On good evenings I try to push my limits and so far I'm able to do 120 minutes, but still with a lot of pain. I'm working to get better and better at this. Cheers to you,

Ahh, that's bad. Safety first in any case. I had knee pains when I deliberately wanted to sit in a half lotus but wasn't ready yet. However, this pain didn't last too long and I found the Burmese posture is working fine with me. What you could try is sitting in a chair, very erect and not lean against the backrest. But be careful, it is always better to do this in the best state of mental and physical health you can be in because it'll take everything apart from you.

@Sigma Sounds like a plan. Don't go to hard one yourself though. One needs some time to understand how to go about the technique. Personally, I failed a lot practicing strong determination sitting in the beginning and when I'm pushing the limit I always fail a couple of times. But what is going to happen is that your relationship to pain will completely shift and after a few sits you begin to feel a strange sense that nothing can really harm you. I always had this feeling especially in the beginning for a few weeks. I think it is the result of purging so much bullshit belief about pain. Another very interesting thing is that you actually transcend a certain time span after some practice. Meaning, that if you sit 20-30 times for 60 minutes without moving you will not feel much pain anymore in future sittings in that time span. Just when you go further you have to transcend this again. I love it, it shoots my meditation through the top!

I'm currently studying computer science and I love it.

If I sit for 120 minutes doing a strong determination sitting I need a good minute just to get my legs untangled and then slowly standing up. I also experience laughing sometimes but what for me is even more remarkable is that for a good few minutes my mind is totally off. No thoughts, no nothing, the weirdest feeling I can think of. And also sitting comfortably after the sit feels like heaven. Everything that I have experienced in comparison to this practice is not really serious pain because with strong determination you put the pain on yourself, you keep sitting in pain and are accepting not to know when it stops. This breaks me completely. Love it

That's a very interesting question. I actually merge with certain tasks. I completely get lost and have no sense of self sometimes four hours. I am the task in this moment and I love it. For me that's an experience of flow and an expression of my ambition, focus and curiosity. Awareness has a lot of faces. I think merging is one of it and there is a place for this in life.

Welcome to the other side. Take a zip, have some fun and see where it can take you. The peace that you feel right now can be the birthplace of a lot of realizations of what is and what is not. Use this ability to empty yourself so much that your focus starts to surrender to what currently is and stops searching for trouble that is not.

See it this way. You are a great system that can put out all kinds of different patterns. You incarnate things, let them exist and then let them die. But it just seems to be the case that we actually define ourselves in some of the arising pattern, deny other parts of it and cannot see that we are actually the great machine that allows all the pattern to happen. Now, how do you really remove a thought when all you can do is put shit up and then let it die. Well, you just put up the next one. Silence, thoughts, an inter-mingle of both. However you want to conceptualize what actually happens in the present moment inside your skull. You are not given the ability to remove. You are given the ability to create, let it be and then let it die. So that's what you do to get rid of a thought.

Yep, found this out a few years ago. A friend of mine who is a psychologist and is also highly sensitive mentioned this and then I took a few tests and it seems to be a good illustration of what goes down with my sense experiences. What helped me the most is: Long, daily meditations (60 minutes in the morning just gives me the best ground to handle my business) take time off, consciously take off a lot time just to process long and good sleep, I need my 8-9 hours every day having enough fun aka using your tuned senses to experience cool shit being focused on my work (which is highly pleasurable for me) I sometimes feel trapped because of this. But it is just the way your body does its business. Respect that, give it the time and resources it needs and you can have some great fun with it. Cheers!

I'm so deeply inspired by the forms consciousness incarnates itself. I can never absorb all its patterns, variations and rhythms. Just take music, acting, poetry, public speaking, comedy. These things inspire me on a foundational level.

I know the problem of having a lot of pressure in your head while meditating. Basically you're forcing to much, just let it go. I can really recommend the "Do Nothing"-technique that Leo discussed in one of his videos. This should let you relax a little and just give in.

Such a nice question, dude! I see it this way. If the whole population would be enlightened we would have a world with integrity. We would all have a party. I picture people having a lot more fun, creating cool creative projects. Incarnating the possibilities that consciousness presents to you. I see politics having a great game, having some fun, but seeing it for what it really is. I see some great art. Some great public discussions. Just think about what the mainstream press could be putting out there. New ideas to the world. Sharing new projects, new ways to see things. In the end it comes all down to integrity. If you would have people around that share a kind of integrity the world wouldn't be ass frantic as it is today.

That's an very interesting question. I'll answer it with an analogy that hopefully answers all kind of similar questions around this topic: The one thing our mind seems constantly focused about is not to screw to things up. To do it right. And so it always will do that with the "Do Nothing" technique because that's natural to do. "Do Nothing" - as I presently see it - shifts your mindset from being always problem-focused to seeing the nature of things as they presently present them to yourself. So @Ayla once brought me to the realization that all we do is "comfortably laying in our own bed, frantically trying to decipher a map that leads us back home". What does all of this say? All there is is this huge stream of consciousness that sometimes gives you the feeling of "doing it right", sometimes being very quietly, sometimes making you feel very bad, sometimes filling your head up with all these thoughts and then again silence. Let it happen. If you want to stay in that silence you mentioned, stay in it. If you want to shift your attention to your body, do that. Allow it all. Because all you want to do is create space for the this "great" stream of consciousness to do its thing, and it'll take you to a place where you are aligned with everything it wants to do. So drop the possibility that you can do something wrong here, just let it happen as it does and it will present itself as everything you currently know. Expect that. And after some while you will start to see that this is okay and there cannot be another way. Cheers to you,

For the first 8 months doing enlightenment work I didn't change my eating habits or my sport routine. Going on this path doesn't mean you stop all your negative habits, be all good and live like a monk. However, for me it just seems that if the time comes where you want to make some changes it is way easier because you can see through your addiction, you can see that it is shallow and then it's maybe easier to stay on track. I personally try to tackle one to three healthy habits a year, so that I develop over time a very good lifestyle. However, I always keep space for the real bad stuff so that I can just overeat with crap sometimes, to stupid things and see it's beauty on the one hand but also it's shallowness on the other. Meditating a lot will increase your "will power" like nuts. I stopped smoking, biting my finger nails, following a sport routine with not much problems and so on.

No, don't try to maintain awareness. You actually can't, there is no one who could. There is just a stream of thoughts that sometimes projects some clean awareness, sometimes awareness with some other thoughts and other times just stories over stories and then ... a blank. And then again. Just let it happen, if you do so after a while a ability seems to develop that lets you watch your thoughts and emotions completely detached and calmly. If that happens you don't actually need silence any more in your head because you don't have to resist any longer and it is not bothering you. It's just weird sometimes