White Monk

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  1. So about a 3-4 days ago I decided to sit with about 2.55 grams of Golden Teacher mushrooms, magic mushrooms obviously. It was quite the learning experience. For context, day to day I am a pretty motivated and very clear guy. Im doing Kriya yoga everyday as my practice, workout out at least a few times a week, running my own business, investing, overall very busy and somewhat successful, mostly due to spirituality. Still that says nothing about who I am, but it's a good context for where I am in life as a 28 YO male. Nonetheless over the past weeks at least one time a week I have been experimenting with psychedelic mushrooms. Trying to be a bit more mathematical and calculated in my approach as well as respectful to them as a medicine. So slowly Ive been going up from 1.2 Grams, 1.5 grams, 1.8 grams , 2 gram, now 2.3grams. Its also funny because some of my trips with less weight have had a deeper effect overall, and induced deeper experience of oness and getting to know the universe. This trip was very contemplative and I let the Mushrooms handle alot of the brunt work for me, because thats what they do if you let them. SO the first part of the trip was very mellow and light on the come up I was just watching g the mushroom energy work its way through my chakra system so to speak and seeing it work around my heart area. Next I seen the idea of resentment arise and began to be open to it and play with it, because for the most part I see myself not to be a resentful person for the most part (im not perfect lol). Buttttttttttttt, I started to see flaws in how true I was about that topic. For started I seen my mother and father as obvious subjects to my resentment. But what was underneath the resentment, was pure heartbreak, I was angry at them because it didnt feel like they even tried, and not trying at something produces much much much more suffering. I was angry at them for their suffering. I was angry at them for their terrible choices. but underneath that was just heartbreak, of them and mostly my father not giving a single shit about Love , Truth, ABOUT LIFE. Part of me could have killed him scolded him. But I digested what felt like his karma full of deep sorrows, years of sorrows that he fails to deal with. Felt it all. The trip was beginning to get very deep especially emotionally this time. Feelings went very deep, and my understanding of karma also very much increased, and what feels like a very embodied way. An overall knowing that I need to pull myself out of that situation and any resentful altercation and things that are causing me resentment that otherwise are completely within my control. This moment was quickly interrupted by a phone call which I thought was relatively important, I rarely take phone calls or texts while deep in a trip, especially an emotional one. I was going to tell my friend about what I had just gone through but instead listened to what he needed. He was having trouble because he didn't want to pay for a contractor that recommenced him, and wanted it to be cheaper, but the truth of that situation was that you get what you pay for in almost every industry. Then I simply told him that I could feel his underlying karma, and beliefs around money on a cellular level of not enough ness. It actually taught me allot about money that I already kind of know anyways and that is you get what you pay for, and causing yourself unnecessary headaches, to save a bit of money is never worth it. Never worth it. Theres just too many cheap, lying, indecent, people and especially companies out there. Stick with decency, integrity, fairness. another good piece. That moment passed rather quickly and back to contemplation I went. I dove back into my trip, returning to my spot with my father and felt like I had mostly digested what I needed here and maybe gotten a healthy dose of both reality and empathy. What happened next was the word strength began appearing. Became a topic. I see the need for strength both within myself but also for myself within the current world. From my perspective personally I feel the world, is somewhat of a hell hole filled with many bad things, and heaping, unimaginable amount of unawareness and people who frankly truthfully dont give a shit about awareness. SO for me I see strength being a very necessary thing to be here. Its important for me that the people around me be strong, consistent, integrous, in order to support me in being who I want to be as well. Strength and integrity set in for a while, I began just feeling into those topics deeper and deeper for my own self and how our society has also kind of set up alot of false expectations and false realities for what both of those things mean. What it means to be strong, is definitely not what society deems to be strong, ITS WHAT YOUUUUUU deem to be strong and whole. Begin making your own rules. I also began getting different ideas. I am a musician but I approach it very intuitively, my music is the best when I am the best, so I focus on becoming the best version of myself and my music happens when it feels ready. I composed a few good songs I really liked. It felt natural it felt good also, so I shared them( which I usually do anyways). Creations are meant to be shared and put out there and I am sure about that. The next contemplation was about what I wanted to do in my life. Like, what is the impact that I am wanting to have here, and strength was also tied in with this. I had an idea pop into my mind to form a mens group or at the least create a mens groups that focuses on strength, attention, conciousness, TOGETHERNESS, helloing each other out, and also just being a man. I see a-lot of men who have been robbed of or just completely lost there edge and are lost without it. I then had an image for the logo in somewhat of a animated fashion of an archer pulling back a bow and arrow and releasing it to set on target, which I personally believe I think has most to do with being focused and committed to staying on target, and strong in that. This was one idea that felty like it could work. Another idea that I pondered for a bit was my music and becoming a content creator, with most of out being music. I usually just post voice recordings of my music, ts quick, its easy, and it records in pretty good quality as well. But it's not the highest quality that people want to see. Its like Leo pre-actualized.org. I seen how I could make the quality better but also got a more accurate reflection of my appearance. Overall I feel stunning but there are small pieces of my appearance that lack marketability and put-togetherness. I don't think I was overthinking this piece either. There is ways I could maintain my image a bit better and maintain my external health a bit better. mainly just doing more with my hair. Some days I dont do anything with my hair I am just lazy so I let it go. But I see the effect that can have for how I perceive myself, then obviously how I perceive myself through other. SO I could use some adjusting in that area. I began getting urges to eat and it was between red meat and tuna. I chose tuna, only to reflect on how magnificent a creature the tuna fish is and it pretty clean relatively speaking. Very strong fish and I believe it has a certain kind of strength to it intelligence as a fish. Began seeing images of it jumping and swimming through the water, and boy oh boy did I see how disconnected from the food sources we eat are. Humans live in damn near complete disconnection with anything outside of themselves, as if its not also a valuable or intriguing thing. Beautiful incite and imagery here as well. Tuna=Great fish. Great meal. Tuna sandwiches. I also ate an orange which was deeply nourishing for my system as well. The rest of the trip was relatively smooth and easy nothing too deep just a relaxing comedown and some integration happening. Also began looking into archery because I think there is something there for me as well. I shared this mostly to show people all trips aren't the same it doesn't always have to be some big blow your life away, I am that I am type shit. Sometimes the trips that have real life implications and integrations are the best ones especially for changing your real life. I have literally done every technique spiritually that Leo has shared, psychedelics are by far the best that I have come across, just be willing to face the Truth, at all cost. Theres probably still some work for me in this category, undoubtedly. Keep it grounded, go deep. As for my parents.......I have been around them lately more than I have in years, mainly by choice, because I moved back home for only a few months. But then I started to see the topic of what resentment truly is, and get a deeper understanding of the whole thing. My mom and dad have a VERY, VERY, VERY , toxic relationship, I will leave it at they, of course they aren't alone, alot of people, probably the majority of people have a toxic relationship, wether it be friends or family. My mom loves my dad, my dad is an abusive, alcoholic, pill popping somewhat of a scumbag to keep it concise. On one level I love them, but on another level I can no longer bear to be around their passive aggressive behaviors and inability to digest the TRUTH. I have to go on my own way in order to cut some karmic ties that weigh me down in this area at home.... working on it asap. All of this stuff I have been presently aware of but it just seems so minor I kind of brush it off as , ahhhh it doesnt matter that much, but alot of little stuff ads up to one pain in the neck. Literally.
  2. Do you have a video about selfishness, or rather selflessness and what that truly means? Im curious how you define it
  3. @Leo GuraLeo is this the best one you've found? Ive been using Holosync for about 1 year or so but if there is one better Im intrigued?
  4. what do you think America is Lol
  5. One of the best statements so fa. Also, Im curious if you think socialization has that affect or just the type of mindless, spineless, shallow socialization that has this affect?
  6. LET Leo do his own thing. Jeeze lol. The man isn't doing anything crazy
  7. Yeah Id look into Leo's psychedelics, and use deep discernment when choosing to follow any of these new age teachers and their teachings to be honest some people have no idea what the hell they are talking about and live a life of lies and lack of embodiment. Touch your innermost self and stay with that thread, from here on out. Psychadelics are a good route for that, enlightenment intensives are alright too, if you don't want to use psychs.
  8. Hello, Lately my relationship has seemed very unhealthy, a ton of arguing fighting and int always seems like an upcoming fight, where I find myself not even wanting to relate to my girlfriend because there always seem to be some negativity and reactions. I have been doing my end to uphold my responsibility and being more present through my interactions, but sometimes my heart doesn't feel in it anymore. I don't feel respected, valued, or like I want to play a part in this relationship where the dynamic doesn't feel healthy. I don't know if I can fix it, but my heart is just feeling like ehhhhh.... idk about this, its not on the end that seems flowing, equanimous and easy. I don't know what is goin one but I would like some reflections and input. Relating to her seems to be feeling like such a hassle and not like I am looking forward to it in many ways. Almost looking past it sometimes or questioning what I am doing in it. I think at one point it was very authentic for me but I am not sure that it is anymore. Thanks, White Monk
  9. Hmmmm that’s a good one to sit with for a while, going to retreats that expensive can be pretty tricky with only having that much income every week. go with what feels like is going to pay YOU back the most. Comsiousness and sovereignty over oneself will do that better than anything else can. New apartment could be essential for establishing a safe space for yourself to grow, and 5 MEO could change your whole perspective on life, and the nature of your self. They each have upsides to them.
  10. https://sonmusic7.bandcamp.com/releases My favorite songs Reasons, On my Way (Leo might like this one) , End of the World P.s. what album isn't about enlightenment, it all is it all is New one Lemme know what you think or what you feel, all feedback appreciated, thanks
  11. https://sonmusic7.bandcamp.com/releases This is a song I made about life and my spiritual journey I loved every part of it. I recommend the songs Reasons, End of the World, and On my Way
  12. Listening to dude like Jim Newman can get you in quite a bit of trouble lol.
  13. I’m at feeling like a 2-3 year old in a grown mans body. But baby mode sounds optimal, the less I know the better lol