flowboy

@xxxx I'm just parroting what I remember from the video. I think if your dad and brother function similarly, and they thrive in that way without any of the side effects commonly associated with chronic lack of sleep, then maybe them and you have that gene Walker mentions. I suppose you could test it by sleeping only 5 hours a night for a month and seeing if you are fine. That would confirm it Another thing you could maybe do, is organise a retreat for yourself without any devices. Get a cabin in the woods, only take books with you, don't use laptop or phone. Then go to bed whenever you feel like it, get up whenever you feel like it and see how your sleep pattern naturally adjusts, and what it balances out to. What do you think? How many hours would you get? Just brainstorming here.

@r0ckyreed I did 5am for a while, but that meant I needed to go to bed at 20:30. Then I did 6am for a while, going to bed at 21:30. Because I need my 8 hours, and it takes about 30 minutes to fall asleep too, which don't count as sleep. Now, I'm going to try 8:00 - 23:30. Reason being that I seem to notice that I work better later in the day, so I want to try it out and see if I feel better on it. There is no sleep schedule that gives you more time. It makes no sense. The amount of sleep you need is constant. To optimize productivity and health, the bedtimes should be the same every day. But what they should be is really a matter of personal preference. If you live with people who are on a different schedule, and you feel pressure or temptation to hang out with them past your own bedtime, then it's going to be very hard to get enough sleep consistently. At least, I have noticed that I succeed in the short term and fail in the long term, because at the end of the day, willpower is lowest, and I need willpower to stop a conversation and say "I'm going to bed" on time. In that case I would prefer to align my bedtime with that of the people I live with, at least somewhat. I think Matthew Walker said that anything under 7 hours a night is so bad for your performance, that you might as well be drunk. There is a minor percentage of people who have a specific allele that allows them to function perfectly on 4-5 hours a night. If you don't have that genetic variant, then you are in the same boat with the rest, who all should get at least 7.5 hours a night. People who say they can train themselves to require less, are either genetically gifted, or kidding themselves and compromising their health. At least, that's what I remember from this interview. Men who sleep 5-6 hours a night, will have the same level of testosterone of someone 10 years their senior. So a lack of sleep will age you by 10 years in that sense.

@neutralempty It still is name calling, regardless of your rationale.

@Michael569 Here's an exerpt from the forum rules that disagrees with you there. I think the highlighted rules were broken by several people of both sides in this debate. The sarcasm and overall childish attitude of both sides is disgusting and below what I assumed the quality standard of this forum was. I think mods have failed to do their job in this thread, given that someone was definitely name-called a sociopath multiple times, and no warning was issued. Very disappointing. @Forestluv You had an opportunity to tell both sides to cut out the childishness and communicate in a mature way, but instead you told one side to stop communicating his side of the argument. Instead of addressing the abusive behavior, you mixed yourself into the debate with a bias. Also disappointing.

why just drop her off instead of have sex with her at her home?

Perhaps he sampled a lot of them ?

@meow_meow If the handful of clients were happy, you can still make it work. It sounds like you went to facebook ads too quickly, before refining your marketing message hypothesis and getting 2-5 clients through organic methods. Have you looked into sam ovens's Consulting Accelerator course? I'm doing it right now. I can get you the 25% discount

I wouldn't want my teeth worked by a dentist who was only in it for the money. That's a scary thought. Just think if that were a surgeon! Teeth are still a very important and precarious part, that you only want handled by someone who gives a fuck. However, it is possible to develop a passion, this can happen after you get the experience of helping people. That's the reward that keeps you in the game after your bills are paid. So if your initial motivation was to make money, and then you do it and you start to like helping people by dentistry, then it's all good. There is really no telling whether you would like it or not, until you try it. That's one of the shitty aspects of today's school trajectory, they ask you to make a choice by overthinking instead of experiencing. My recommendation: go through your personal network to get as much experience of actual dentist day-to-day as you can. Interview a couple of them. Why do they do what they do? There some amazingly passionate dentists. Do you resonate with them? If you find passionate dentists and you think they're great, but you still can't see yourself in that position, maybe it's not for you. If they manage to inspire you, and you would like to be like them, then maybe it is for you. But really, in-person experience is king. Get creative and find an opportunity to 'shadow' a dentist while he's doing his work. Perhaps through your personal network. Perhaps your school can help you. Without that, how do you really know what you are signing up for?

T+5d: Yesterday, cleaned up the mess. Today, I did a run in the park, which was my first workout in at least 3 weeks, possibly four. I also managed to stay away from coffee, and just drink green tea. Feeling very bleh and unmotivated - but chill. Possibly I'm unintentionally giving myself a sugar detox as well, I should take it one step at a time. So this has been day 1 of 3 where I will just cut out coffee and alcohol. Then, I will cut out youtube and content. Because I am consuming content like a maniac, and am using it as an escape from facing the amount of work I feel has been piling up. I still feel depressed and not quite right in the head. Approached A Girl In Sweaty Workout Clothes That did not stop me from doing something awesome, however. During my run I spotted several women I found attractive. And then I just noticed the excuse-factory starting up, and then grinding to a halt: "I'm in a relationship, it would be wrong." No I'm not. Fuck. "I'm busy right now, I need to finish my workout." No I'm not, I am taking these days to recover. "I'm not in the right headspace. My unbalanced neurotransmitter situation will fuck up the conversation flow." So what. If I came close but chickened out, I will feel worse. If I do it, regardless of the outcome, I will feel amazing. And that will make me feel better about myself in the next days, and is also acting from a more empowered self-image. So I approached a perfect 10, a tall 1.82m blonde gorgeous girl wearing a leather jacket and plateau boots, while she walked through the park with her friend. And you know what? It really was not that scary. I suppose I have become cooler over the years Observing The Flinch It started with me jogging along, excited to be almost done with the workout, when a pretty face made strong eye contact with me, that belonged to a girl jogging in the opposite direction. I realised that was a sign of interest. "But too bad, I'm going in this direction." I heard myself think. Then I stopped and realised how dumb that was. I could easily catch up to her, say hi, see how it would go, and continue my jog. Life is only rigid and boring if you make it so. Who says I need to run my regular route without any interruptions? No one! I'm walking slowly, paralyzed with doubt. Because I can't sell myself on the need to skip this opportunity, I finally decide to jog in her direction. Hoping to catch up to her, but also kinda not hoping. I realize fully this is a self-sabotage strategy I have employed often. Doubting, wasting a tremendous amount of time, then finally making the bold choice, but of course it is too late. And that was really the goal. It being too late, and being able to tell myself "I would have if I could have". Sure buddy. This entire pattern of being faced with a bold choice, then shying away "thinking about it" until the opportunity has passed, it is a bullshit ego strategy that needs to go. In the past, it obviously protected me from getting more emotionally challenging feedback than I could handle. Thank you. But now I need to live on a higher frequency. I jog through the entire park. Of course I don't see eye-contact girl again. That's great, so I get to go home. Right? But now I've already opened up the opportunity in my mind. An extremely pretty, petite blonde girl puts on her facemask. I instinctively turn away from her and keep jogging. Why not her, though? Because she looks too pretty and well put together, and I expect her to be mean? I expect her to be mean, because the pretty popular girls were mean to me in high school. Not even that mean. Just the popular chicks never resonated with me. I think about it while I turn the corner, and decide to go back and talk to this blonde chick. As long as I'm already here doing something ballsy, why not make it really ballsy? When I get back to the place I saw her, she's gone. Of course. Relieved, I set course for home, when I see a glimpse of a really attractive face unlocking her bike. Wait, is she attractive? I go back to make eye contact with her. She is, but not exactly my type. I walk away again. Then she catches up to me with her bike. Or should I? I go towards her. Then change my mind. She may have been a bit creeped out by my walking back and forth. It is what it is. I have to break this pattern. I jog back through the park while I contemplate this pattern of hesitation, and how I really should break it. Then I see two women talking on a bench. I pray: "please don't be pretty, because then I have to make myself talk to you. Please, can I just go home?" The blonde is a real stunner. I realise this while I panic and keep walking. The same exact pattern repeats itself: I keep "thinking about" it, I keep imagining what it would be like to go for it, while I walk away. But this pattern has to be broken! I turn around. These girls are stationary. I have a good chance of seeing them again. There is no excuse. When I get to the bench, I am relieved to see that the 10 and her friend are gone. But then I see them walking. I walk towards them and catch up to them. I fail to say something and just keep walking, like they were just in my way. Realising my mistake, I stop at the end of the path, and pretend to stretch while they catch up to me. They walk past me, and I again fail to say something. Man. I'm too deep into this now. If I quit here, this would have been a very strange waste of time. I catch up to them once again. I say hi. To my surprise, the friend and her stop instantly and smile while I talk to them. I feel very put on the spot and blurt out some random shit. She lets me know that she appreciates my approach and is seeing someone. I am cool with that and we wish each other a great day. It's not that hard!! I know that if I were to do three of these short conversations in a row, I would get into a flow where my words make sense and I could really have fun and attract some people. And indeed, it makes me feel great about myself afterwards. I look at some women in the street and think: "That's right, I have the power to talk to you now!" I just feel really cool.

@tsuki I'll come back to you later. This is what every surface in my house looks like right now. I also have not showered in multiple days. I have work to do ?

Yes, stresses may make it worse. They may not. Actually I don't know of many entrepreneurs or high impact people who smoke. But I see people with call center jobs smoke away every day. I'm not going to base my life decisions on the effects it could have on my nicotine addiction. I'm also not saying I have to become humanity's savior. You just asked for things I wanted to do and I listed them. First, I listed things that I would enjoy having a lot of time for. Then you asked for things with a more concrete end state. They are the motivators for me improving my financial situation: that I get to live like this, and get to have impact like that. I would if I could, but it wouldn't be enough. Often, the causes I want to contribute to, are more in need of funds than people. I did ask. If you're asking why I am not content working for someone else in general, it's because that feels like a waste of my time. I have a massive flood of creative ideas, and no help in executing them. Countless times I have seen someone else execute something I thought of 10 years ago, and it has worked. Or my predictions have panned out. Or my boss ignored my suggestion and failed miserably. So it's painfully obvious to me that selling time for money, executing the ideas of other more limited minds, is just a huge waste of my potential. I know this sounds arrogant. It's not. It's my experience. Would I work for really great people who are actually a lot smarter than me and have a cause I can get behind? Yes. Are they likely to hire me currently? No. My resume is not impressive. I quit college 3 times after a couple of months. I'm better off proving myself first by making something happen on my own.

I disagree. Whilst it is true that I don't think like most people, that does not mean I don't value them. You are hyperbolizing for some reason. What I am describing is a reaction that is common when I tell people this line of thinking: they start to give me their rationalizations for their lack of ambition. It is true that this strikes me as inferior: simply because their circle of concern is smaller. If they have enough, then screw the world. Also, most people are in the same incredibly powerless position as me, but they do not see the same problems with it. They don't know that one weird accident or malicious lawsuit could ruin them. They don't know that they can't even afford to homeschool their kids if they wanted to. They don't know that their parents will rot away in a terrible care facility, unless they pay for a really expensive one, or take them in in a big house. Which they are not planning for. I'm just naming things from my life that make me feel like I need more power. It also does not mean loneliness: I have always thought very different than most people, and whilst this does make it more difficult to make friends in a small pool such as high school, in life you attract people who think similarly or complementarily. I have plenty of those, who I talk to and see often. Why do you assume I don't? What if --insert hyperbolized projection that serves me--? You named Trump as what I think is a terrible example, but I guess you needed a strawman that was the epitome of evil. Actually, people trying to do good for others while not doing arguably enough good for themselves, are more like Elon Musk. He is truly giving everything to save the human race in multiple ways, whilst not giving himself the time to have a love life, or even eat properly. And you know what? We need more people like him. He's single-handedly making himself responsible for huge world problems, and solving them, like how to get the world off fossil fuels. But there are more problems that we need people like that to take responsibility for. The waste problem. The need for a new economic paradigm. Pollution of the oceans. The decline of the rain forest. I'm not saying that I or anyone else has to go to that extreme. I don't have that sort of drive, and not that level of brain power. I'm not even saying that I or other people shouldn't try to do good for themselves first: that's exactly what I'm trying to do! Not sure where you are getting that. I definitely need some materialistic upgrades for myself so I can be more comfortable, and think bigger, without small problems like rent or the cost of a latte distracting me.

T+3days 19.5 hours: I wake up feeling quite depressed. It shocked me how far I have let this go. All because of a nicotine withdrawal and a breakup, I let my entire living space get dirty and messy, and did not provide any structure for myself. It's a miracle I don't feel worse, actually. But enough is enough. No craving for a cigarette this morning. I think I'm ready to remove coffee and alcohol. They go together for me as crude state management tools where abuse of one encourages abuse of the other. I bought green tea, that I am letting myself drink for these next 3 days.

@dharma-shishyah please don't spam my journal with low-value contributions like that. I welcome in-depth discussions and constructive feedback of course.

I want to understand what you mean, but it's very hard. Of course it is possible to be free to do things, I'd say. For example, I am currently free to spend half my days working on a project that does not pay my bills, whilst living in a tiny studio apartment. But I am not free to spend all my days working on a project that does not pay my bills, whilst living in a large apartment and travelling to different places without worrying about money. I don't know about the no consequences. Yes, I want the power to do whatever I want, but I'll accept the consequences. Wouldn't everyone? Why? You could be right but how, what does this have to do with loneliness? I would rather think it would enable me to hang out with other people who do much more interesting things with their lives than work a job. Help adults with ADD cure themselves by becoming a great coach and researching every possibility to find out what works and what doesn't, and distill it all into a method that revolutionizes how psychiatry and society even look at this, and thus eradicates it. Write a book about it, if that helps. Invent a revolutionarily better type of high school education and start a school. Write a book about that. Donate millions to Paul Stamets's efforts to save the bees. Start a private equity fund Establish a new kind of spiritual living commune/community with like-minded people Create a franchise new kind of co-working space. Become great at business and try out the many more ideas I have saved up. By the way, everywhere it says "new kind", I mean I have pages and pages about the idea, but I don't want to go into that much detail. Don't they? At least enough to cover my living expenses, I would think. I can't currently do any 30 day retreats for example, my employer would not allow it. Plus, I am only one man. There's many talented people currently working on missions that I want to support. I want to be able to support the causes that I find important, with substantial donations as well as putting in work. I don't need to be perfect, but I do want to unlock what I know is my potential. And right now, that is being blocked by silly earthly constraints. Yes, I think everyone does, that's nice, right? I'm sorry that I don't fit into the stereotype of achiever who is secretly only looking for acceptance. I often encounter people who give me this argument: "you can be happy with less, what do you really need money for, happiness doesn't come from money". In fact, my parents are that way. And I'm sorry but I'm not buying it. Those people are selfish and small-minded to me, because their fantasy is limited to doing things for themselves. The only possible reason to want money that they can think of, is to get themselves a new this, or a new that. They can't even conceive of wanting to impact the world and help people and animals out in a big way, and so they project that small-minded self-interest onto me, thinking I must be materialistic and selfish in my quest for power and prosperity. No, in my view, people who do not try to become rich are the selfish ones. They could be helping to save the Amazon rainforest, save the bees, revolutionize education so that our next generations don't suffer the same indoctrination that we did. But instead, they simply work their dumb job, come home, drink their tea and masturbate on the idea of how good a person they are because they are happy with less. Donating a measly 4,50 a month to a charity of their choosing. Cancelling after 3 months, because they want to upgrade their phone plan. Need I go on? ? Sorry for the rant, but you really asked to understand me, so I assume you can handle it

I think we're on the same page... However I feel that if I had more time, I could let God express itself through me playing various instruments and doing art projects

That seems accurate. I do work actively on what I dream of, but when I skip my visualisation exercises for a couple weeks, such as now, the discomfort overshadows everything.

Not a strange question at all It is a constraint on my expression. The external appearance effect would be nice, but after gloating to my entire friend circle, I imagine that pleasure would fade quickly. The freedom would not.

It's a stepping stone. I used to think it was the first. But actually I just dream of being free to spend all my time in which ever way I please. Such as going on month long retreats, travel, learn different musical instruments for hours a day, meditate my balls off.

No. You'll make enough mistakes already, doing what you think is right for you. Don't add the things that you kind of already know are not, on top of there. Said as a person who did that often

Yes, I feel like my life is a race right now. And I see myself as trying to quit the race within 3-5 years, so that I can stop racing and start enjoying and admiring. I honestly haven't even raced much yet, though. My default tendency is towards a combination of hedonism and deep contemplation. So lots of deep thoughts, little production. I'm very frustrated and often feel jealous of people who seem to be naturally driven to make things happen. I wish that would be my natural configuration, I would not have to fight myself that hard every day.

That is what I hope to do after I achieve prosperity. Partly. I don't like being a wage slave, living in a tiny space, and being financially constrained. I want out of that situation, and I do not have faith that creative expression will get me there. So I am applying discipline now, to later have the opportunity to let creative expression blossom. Perhaps that's the wrong approach, but if I would focus on creative expression now, I would be a wage slave having fun in his free time tinkering with many different projects, not really finishing any of them, because that is my tendency. So I don't see how that would help me to not be poor and I really hate being poor. When I try to see around the corner, I think the highest way of living would be to train your own character to be highly skilled in the art forms it prefers, so that then God can come and express itself as freely as your physical constraints allow. To be a perfect vessel. So I can not be at peace having to spend 40 hours a week on someone else's dumb agenda... what a torturous waste.

@Grapevine This goes in the direction that you want. I just watched it and found it very satisfying. Although only a hypothesis.

@tsuki To quote Joe Rogan: it's entirely possible I definitely am intense. Am I pushing myself too hard? That question brings up some fears though. Because I have achieved hardly anything yet. So I feel like I actually need to push harder. Finding out that this is my limit would seemingly mean the death sentence for my dreams.

@tsuki Without it, I experience stresses and worries much deeper. I'd say it comfortably closes me off a bit, and makes me a bit more worry free and emotionally stable. And numb. So it's been great for a person with SAD, like me, who gets anxious and depressed for roughly half of every year. I think getting more sunlight would work just as well. Unfortunately, since I combined both of those in the past week, I have no good data.