flowboy

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Everything posted by flowboy

  1. Seconded! Do this and take your time. Put on music. Use oil or lube. But don't fantasize. You'll find that it will satisfy you even if you don't ejaculate. (Which has the added benefit of not lowering your testosterone levels) It's called tantric masturbation.
  2. I used to think this too. It's usually more benign than that. The feeling is more like: "Hey man, come on, shape up, be a man, don't take yourself too seriously. Solve your emotional problem so that you can joke around with us, and come up with a good comeback." The problem is that when you are depressed, you are taking yourself too seriously so it will hurt. Or rather, you will hurt yourself using the other person's words. I've been bullied and humiliated and even had my ass kicked while a girl I had a crush on stood there laughing. Multiple times, basically. So I do think that I get it.
  3. It works! After 5 days of not being able to brain properly, I finally feel like I have adequate dopamine levels. I'm focused on what I'm doing, motivated, not easily distracted and not tempted to go get drinks or food all the time. Just feeling strong and productive. I have 20 grams of chocolate a day now, which I think is very minimal. Not doing the supplements currently. They work kind of, but not when I use them every day it seems. Being more physically active definitely has helped. I'll have some more ups and downs probably, but I'm glad I powered through and didn't start back on coffee again. This already, what I have now, is a better quality of focus than I have with it.
  4. Had a wonderful angry run this morning. It's an orgasmic sort of rage that tends to propel me forward when I do a run and listen to music. Eminem is great for that. I had a feeling this was going to be a very masculine day filled with self chosen pain and challenge. However, the rest of the morning was very smooth finished doing my taxes early. It was such a big thing in my mind, but I'm becoming way better at simplifying and doing things efficiently. I think in my next place to live there is definitely going to be a heavy bag to hit. Really enjoy that masculine rage energy when working out. But not before I get one of these...: Brain is coming back online slowly! Even before I've eaten, I can already read and process information at reasonable speed again. Huge improvement since a couple days ago. Is it the running that helped? Had a very pleasant coaching call with @Eva, who is going to help me declutter digitally and physically. Such a nice vibe. I'm excited!
  5. I don't trust the animal communicator from this particular video because she only seems to be telling the owner what she wants to hear, and just typical general dog things. I think she's cold-reading the owner more than communicating with the dog. I don't know though! However, I am a believer. This documentary is what convinced me. What a great lady.
  6. Having a back-up plan is a good way to undermine your resolve. When things get hard, on track for your life purpose, and the next step seems impossible to figure out, the person with the back up plan will choose the back-up plan and choose to fail. The person without the back-up plan will figure it out somehow and succeed. Screw back-up plans. Really. It's self-sabotage. Unless you're starving in a third-world country.
  7. I too have many different dreams within my vision: travelling here to live like this, living there and do that, create this kind of business, and this, and then this... It's not a problem. But those are just a bunch of ideas that I really would like to realise at some point. And maybe they will change over the years and that's okay. I had to pick one thing to start with, and I did. Shamanic breathing (leo has a video on it) is great to get in touch with your intuition. Have you tried it? The way I did it was pick the wrong thing first, work hard on it for a few months, and feel burnt out, then smoke some weed and realise what I want to do instead. So picking the wrong thing will still lead you to picking the right thing, faster than the person who doesn't pick at all.
  8. If dating were food, this is the most nutricious, complete, filling and delicious meal that I could ask for. And I'm not gonna spoil my appetite.
  9. Look at that perfect looking breakfast. I didn't even plan for it to be a triangle ?
  10. Still felt extremely groggy and unmotivated upon waking, but it's nothing some Wim Hof Breathing, a freezing cold shower and a tiny bit of 1P-LSD won't fix And before I knew it, my bed was freshly made and my floor was vacuumed and mopped Interesting how I attached I was to the frustration that usually came with household tasks. This time it was just enjoyable. None of the usual stress at all. Is it possible that these judgments, complaints, criticisms, resentments are meaningless mechanisms whose sole purpose is to help me avoid feeling tremendously good, loved, valued, inspired? - Carolyn Elliott Getting a sense for the depth of that question. I walk to the store with some happy, peaceful tunes in my ears. I get a bit of an intuition for the vastness and expansive joy that would be, if I allowed myself to enjoy every particular experience. Even the ones that conventionally are regarded as uncomfortable. I love to look at all the different people. I contemplate how everything is perfect the way it is.
  11. Caffeine Withdrawals Roughest caffeine withdrawals since I last quit. When I quit everything but dark chocolate (not realising how much that still contributed), I was already getting tired and headaches. Now that I eat very little chocolate too, it's just rough. Nothing feels fun. Everything is bleh. Admittedly, not going cold turkey (using dark chocolate) makes it more bearable?. But it also draws out the bleh time. My attention doesn't get absorbed into tasks like it normally does. So today I struggled with some hard programming problems that I barely understood, but I got past them. Normally I would have enjoyed that. Now, it's like whatever, let's go for another walk. I have SERIOUS trouble understanding graphs, hierarchies, schemas, and visual explanations. They just go over my head. It's a problem. I thought I could have coffee once a week, so I went ahead and bought some. Today I changed my mind. It's just a clever way of the addiction to work itself back in. Just going to power through. In 2 weeks, I'll feel better every hour of the waking day, than on the peak of a caffeine high.
  12. Posting on social media actually works! Someone just contacted me and asked to pour her heart out to me, because what I had written sounded so familiar. She's going to try out the tip from my video, and wants more. We set up a video call date. She could become my client, even! I'd feel weird asking for that much money with a friend-of-friend, maybe. But in any case, this is a great opportunity to get to know my market better Already got two chats set up. Haven't even finished the website yet. Can hardly believe my luck.
  13. I can tell that working on my business 5-6 days a week, even if it's only for an hour, is much better for me than forcing 2-3 fulltime days. The context sticks better. Because I'm immersed for some time every day, I know all the next things that need to happen. Additionally, sitting down to work after work is still a bit of a drain on my willpower. Not much, but I tend to be tired after a day of programming and would rather chill. I'm intelligently expanding my comfort zone. I get a feel for what I could easily do, what would be stretching it, and what I could do but then as a result would feel entitled to all sorts of destabilizing rewards, and will probably also take a multi day break and have trouble getting back in. So I find the sweet spot. I stop when I feel like I could still do some more. That way, I also have some willpower left to reward myself in a healthy way. Maybe today I only do 1.5 hours of working on the website / social media profile. So much to do, but I have to take into account how much I don't like it and still have to get used to it. So 1.5 hours is fine. Perhaps tomorrow a bit more. Perhaps not. Consistency is much more important. My new schedule is awesome. I suddenly have a built-in daily time to focus on what I'm trying to accomplish. I can now see how important that is. So funny, when I researched how people managed to start businesses while working a job, I found that most of them spend about 2-4 hours a day. And my perfectionistic brain thought: "That can't be enough for ME", and invented a different, more complicated scheme. Turns out the more complicated scheme isn't usually the best one, especially when it doesn't come from experience.
  14. Reactions To Video Your method works super well by the way ? (with picture) - Friend D. I really like this way of working. - Friend J. the psychologist I advised your method today to a patient with ADHD - J. the psychologist
  15. Fasting until 14:30 today. I really like being fasted. It makes me sharp, energetic, and aggressive. Especially the surge of energy is what I appreciate. I usually get hunger pangs a couple times before ketosis kicks in. Then I feel great. Very alert, clear and intense. I find that ginger tea with a little magnesium and curcumin helps. My hands and whole body are tingling and buzzing with energy. Feeling a bit similar to after I do Wim Hof breathing. Which I still do every morning. Will post habit tracker progress soon. Honestly, for work I'm going to have to tone it down a little. ("It's nonsense. This solution is just wrong. It's BULLSHIT!") Extremely disagreeable. But it's a trait I value anyways. It's not the same as being in a bad mood because I'm hungry. I feel great. The bad mood thing is for sugar addicts. The only catch is that there's a lot of physical energy as well. A small workout helps. Did a tabata of sit-ups.
  16. 1 "tablespoon" (retarded metric, supposedly 5 grams) of cocoa powder contains 11 - 20 mg of caffeine. Let's go with the worst case. A 100 gram chocolate bar of 85% purity then has 85 grams of cocoa. Which then has 85 / 5 * 20 = 340 mg of caffeine. Which is like 3 cups of coffee Yeah, no surprise they don't advertise that I've been eating half of these daily, sometimes even most of it. Guess I wasn't fully caffeine free yet, even though I wasn't having any coffee or tea. I'll keep it to one tiny square a day then ? Like some kind of civilised person
  17. @Farnaby That's probably where the work is, for you. By not fully accepting that it may be over, you are paradoxically attracting that outcome, with your fear. So work on that fear. I'll give you this exercise, a powerful fear buster: 1. If the relationship ended, what would be the first 20 actions you would take? List them all here. Number 1 till 20. 2. In 2 years' time, where would you be in that case? How would your life purpose be doing? How would your living situation be? How would you be doing on relationships and passion? 3. Compare that situation to your current one. ?
  18. If you are showing up this way, then that's good. Make sure you are happy with your life independent of her. Do the emotionally hard thing. If you are, then relax and let the chips fall where they may. Either the passion comes back, or she's not the right woman for you anymore. Accept and be at peace with either outcome
  19. Do or do not, there is no try. Been there? Many times. Truth is though, you need to be able to sustain the effort for longer than 10 days if you're going to be successful. Try 30 days without porn, you'll calm down. Or maybe you are just not ready. Or maybe you don't really want this. And that's okay too. In any case, recognize that people's opinions on things are self-serving and biased. Regular porn users will tell you that it's healthy and necessary. Coffee drinkers will tell you about the antioxidants, not about the accelerated aging and anxiety. Crack smokers will tell you that crack helps you get shit done.
  20. Wouldn't you rather be in a relationship with passion? Possibly with someone else who you are more passionate about? What do you want, passion-wise? Some people really don't want passion. That can work, but only if their partner also doesn't want it. Most people, knowingly or not, do want it. Which type are you? And she?
  21. IMO, this is almost over. She will break up with you in a couple weeks to a couple months, depending on how decisive or impulsive she is. That's where you are, so wake up. I've been in a similar situation (the repeating pattern that she didn't want sex and I was reactive to it and got very needy) and I was able to fix it that time and restore the passion, at least for 8 more months. I could only come up with that fix because I had read the book I referenced. It saved my ass there. So there may be a possibility to recover, but only if you are willing to take action and radically change course. What they are, depends on the specifics of the problems you say you have been neglecting. (In my case, I fixed it by finding a new hobby that connected to my purpose which made me less dependent on her approval, and more centered and grounded) Then again, maybe it's for the best that it's over. Maybe she can't be what she needs to be to make this work. Maybe you can't be what is needed to make this work. That is totally fine too! Trust in that, if that's the case. It will enable you both to reflect and grow a lot, and get you out of complacency to learn some lessons that you are not willing or ready to learn while in the comfort of this relationship. A breakup merely means a growth spurt and more happiness down the line, don't you forget that ?
  22. @Phyllis Wagner Yeah, if you're not "right in the head", regular-people-advice will not work. Is that a surprise to you?
  23. I remember you posted about the same thing a couple months ago. But apparently it worsened - your sex life is suffering now. I'm sorry to hear that. It's very hard for her to feel sexually open and relaxed with you, if she can feel that not being sexual with you, will trigger you and cause you to withdraw in order to "work on yourself". Withdrawing is one of the worst things you can do to the feminine. Are you sexually attracted to you? This seems important. Wanna expand on that? Since your relationship is really in crisis from what I read here, it's time to look where you don't want to look. You don't get many of these warnings man. It's possible that it's objectively better for you guys to part ways. You said that 3-5 months ago, that that was your strategy - but that is coping, not transforming. And since then it's become critically worse because she's losing sexual attraction. So clearly that strategy doesn't work, even though it's the most comfortable. Have you read The Way Of The Superior Man? If not, do. If yes, give it a re-read. How's your purpose doing? ?