flowboy

Cool beans! Love you too. How would you feel about picking up girls in this state?

If you've got it all so figured out, sir, and you are writing this from your hammock under a palm tree, then surely you wouldn't mind elaborating? Since this is what OP asked for, and your arrogance has piqued my curiosity, why don't you explain your current situation with those companies, and how you got there? Did you start these yourself and then make yourself obsolete Tim Ferriss style? Are you a VC? Do you own a minority share or majority? What steps can OP take to be able to put up their hammock next to yours and live the laptop lifestyle?

What sorts of companies are they? How come you don't have to put in any work? I still think you'd be better off with 1. Can't get laid off from a company that you control. Thousands of customers would have to fire you at once.

Why the hell would you want multiple streams of income. Sounds like a nightmare. Much better to have one big stream of income. More than enough headache from that.

I would say don't do things that you wouldn't like to have done to you, because it does come back around.

There is no next. This is it. This is all you're going to get. Some people would say: screw this, I'd rather find someone to love who will actually be with me. But you are actually quite fine with this. And that's alright. Enjoy it as long as it's enjoyable. Say goodbye when it doesn't serve you anymore.

Sounds like you are happy with this situation. What do you need advice for? Just enjoy it

That's too bad, because I really think that going on some sort of therapy retreat could do a lot. I've had good success with primal therapy, which was only 7 days of intense work after which I just felt permanently better. But there's other retreats you could take, some specific for men, others mixed. Family constellation retreats exist, I hear good things about that. Healing is best done in groups, I really believe that. Meditation is good, but you need something stronger, it seems. Have you tried breathwork? Leo has a video on "shamanic breathing", I recommend to do that, but a bit slower than in his example, and breathing through the nose, and put on the right music. 30 minutes should be enough. Also, his trauma release exercise might work for you. Give it an hour and report back what happens for you.

That's some tough stuff. Good thing that you're insightful about it. This is in my opinion not trauma that you can just move on from. Letting the past be the past, is not the right approach, because the past is controlling your present and your future. It needs to be revisited and reprocessed. Preferably with professional help. Once you lift some of that baggage, finding and feeling deserving of a healthy relationship will be a lot easier. What kind of therapies are you looking into?

Niceness and attractiveness have an overlap: authenticity. The part of niceness that doesn't overlap with authenticity, should be discarded.

I read all kinds of books, from cringy pickup stuff to good reads like David Deida, and it all helped a little... But eventually, after going through different therapies, workshops, coachings, psychedelic trips and adventures and just a lot of trial and error, I realised that being attractive is not about adding anything, but about removing. Removing layers of conditioning, removing filters, removing inhibitions, removing unhelpful beliefs, removing manipulations, removing protection mechanisms, removing self-judgment, removing other-judgment, removing lies you tell yourself and others. If women are not naturally coming to you while all you do is just be yourself, then you've got more stuff to remove. That's not to say that that is easily done, or that it won't take years, or that you won't need help. It just is what it is. Simple, but simple doesn't mean easy.

@FlyingLotus Hahaha! Sorry

Try really hard to relax. If it doesn't work, try harder. Try reeeeeally hard to relax. Then give up. ✨

But Leo! Yeah so that's a great thing of a community, usually someone has time to create extra stuff. Like the video summaries guy. Perhaps you or someone else can collaborate with him to create more worksheets

Kundalini makes technology glitch too. Or perhaps the heightened states of consciousness cause it. Happens to friends of mine. Songs will start skipping like an old CD, bluetooth stops working, lightbulbs break a LOT.

Understandable. As a defense mechanism against being affected by too much negativity, it's totally working. It also defends against making connections with people, and being relatable to girls, though. Doesn't have to go away overnight. Just knowing that that is what you eventually need to develop out of, is enough. Take it one step at a time.

I feel you man. I couldn't read social cues for half my life. Awkward was part of my nickname. Totally possible to develop yourself out of it.

Let's not forget that you've never met this person. She never met her "boyfriend" - so it's not a real boyfriend. These people are living in fantasy land. She's single and has two friends who she facetimes with. That's all. The rest is just fantasies. Focus on real people.

Nightmare I was going to get fired!! For not working hard enough. My manager confronted me with doing nothing and starting too late on my tasks. He showed me screen recordings of my screen, had been watching me for months. I had to beg for a last chance. So funny because I always fear that I'm not working hard, that I'm not contributing enough, et cetera. That's kinda my thing apparently. Even though I'm perfectly able to complete my work, and I contributed something really essential yesterday that no one else in my team is able to do. Still, the ADD shame. I don't have a robotic sheeplike focus like the rest, so I deserve punishment and shame right? Hah. I see shit coming that others don't. I make improvements before others can even conceive of them, in ways that most people can't. Because I don't think linearly, I am the source of breakthroughs.

@Preety_India So that's what was blocking my door! I'll put it inside before it gets wet. Thanks for saving my head

Yes, we love that. It's especially nice if we still get to make the actual plan, but you do all the sweet stuff around it to encourage us

Phew, I'm not out of the game

No, that one was mine!! Did you remember to pick it up for me?

I may have misrepresented a bit how I actually tend to do it. The "let's do X and you can buy me a drink" move is something I employed situationally, with a wink, when I wanted to be a bit cocky and give an emotional spike. And send a signal that I value my own company/time highly. Timed correctly, it often gets a laugh. I end up paying about 2/3 of the times on dates. Usually I pay the first "thing" we do, and often the second, then we start alternating in who takes care of the bill. Again, because otherwise it is interpreted as pressure to put out, and also, we're Dutch and to us that's more fair. I don't split, because that produces a vibe that money is an issue, which is not conducive to sex. But girls will insist on paying at least sometimes, and letting them, is a sign of respect here. Again, because they're eager to show their independence. It's nice to have an atmosphere of abundance, where money is no issue. But we don't like the balance being way skewed towards one person. At least I don't, and most people I've met who are Dutch. We have cultural differences, but where we agree, in my view, is that we don't tolerate the leechy vibe, where our date is trying to get something for free. I'm okay with being generous unless I'm being manipulated into it.

@StarStruck True, but it's not really about the informational content, rather the emotional content. I can talk about IT in a way that is entertaining to girls, people rather, who don't understand the subject at all. Because I talk about how it makes me feel, I express a wide range of emotions in the stories I tell. So following along is like an epic adventure, even if you have no idea what those words mean. It is necessary to not just share your information, but also (most importantly) share your emotional experience. Being stoic is not helpful. The range of emotions you talk about should be a healthy mix of exciting, cool, heart-warming, and some sad, and some scary, et cetera. If you fail to express feelings that are connected to stories, you won't have a lot of successful dates.