flowboy

Hi Seed, If you've been doing the same kind of personal growth work for years and you don't feel much progress, it's time to switch it up and try another method Or combine it with something new, to get you a little growth spurt. I'm sure people on here would have more suggestions for you to try. So would I. Also, be patient with yourself. It's okay to take years and years to grow out of most neuroticisms. Just make sure not to poison yourself too badly in the process. But also don't be perfectionistic about it. It's a balance. ?

Your inner child and teenager won't disappear when you heal your relationship with them You'll team up with them. They will always matter. A good exercise to do, is to get into a meditative state, and have a direct conversation with your inner child. You can do this by writing the conversation down, or by talking in your head. Listen to him. What is he going through? What has he been through? What does he want to tell you? What does he need from you? A lot can be healed with the words: I love you I'm sorry Thank you Forgive me You can keep repeating those sentences to your younger Raphael and have some interesting conversations with him after that.

Such healthy things to strive for! Very inspirational.

It doesn't harm anyone... except you? If you don't feel like it does, I would guess that that is because you're in your early twenties and your body will put up with whatever crazy shit you want to do for a couple years until your late twenties/early thirties. Doesn't mean it won't make you age faster today already. If you want another reason that could motivate you: how about being able to feel kinder, happier, more energetic and free spirited during the entire day, not just the evening? Now wouldn't that be cool? You could do personal growth work to accomplish that, then you don't need wine anymore and you get the benefit for most of the day. @Seed It doesn't have to feel like a sacrifice. I reckon you could even keep having wine in moderation until you naturally don't feel the need anymore. Provided you are actively doing the work, and your habit is not escalating. By doing the work, I mean on a very high level that you start with the premise that that kinder, happier, more energetic and free version of you is already inside of you during the day. There's just a bunch of conditioning and unresolved issues on top of it. So you start pulling at whatever worries/anxieties you have in the top layer, and working with those, until the kinder, happier, more energetic and free version of you starts to shine through.

Finally Admitting Defeat: Screw Big Habit Trackers They don't work. My friends and professionals have been saying it for years, but I wanted to verify it for myself. If habit trackers work, then they only work if only one or two of the habits is new, and the rest is already ingrained for at least a month. I've been working with over 15 habits at a time that were not fully automatic yet. Thinking: I could do them, it's not that hard, and when I do, I have a great day. So why start small? Well, I must conclude that my already ingrained good habits have been getting dragged down by the weight of the new ones, and everything turned into a mess over and over again. At some point, I must simply admit that this doesn't work. Only 1 thing should be new and challenging. Maybe 3 at the most. The rest should be so automatic that I don't have to think about them at all. That does mean that I need another list of "habit reminders" or "good behavior ideas" for throughout the day. They would remind me of things I can do to make my day better, but not feel like an obligation. Because I'm not focusing on them. Because focusing on everything means focusing on nothing.

As a slow caffeine metabolizer, I relate to this. I used to metabolize it quicker in my earlier twenties. Now, that's over. My solution: don't drink coffee as a tool to get work done. I have found that after a week of abstinence, I'm good to do most work again, and after 40 days, my cognitive ability and energy during most of the day is better than at the peak of a caffeine high. Do I still go back to it? Sometimes. It's enjoyable. It goes like this: Day 1 I drink some coffee, get some benefits, and have worse sleep. Day 2 I wake up tired. Have some coffee. Get diminished benefit. Have even worse sleep. Day 3 I really need that cup to even feel normal and productive. To get back to that awesome level, I need multiple cups, because I accumulated a lot of sleep debt. After day 3 I usually quit again, because the accumulated sleep debt becomes a problem. So my advice is to not use it as a crutch to be productive. You don't need that, unless you have a dependency. People who don't drink coffee are more productive for a larger portion of the day, than coffee drinkers. And they sleep better. There are some uses that still work for me. When I have to get up super early with little sleep, for a day of travel. It can help me through it. And after that, I better let it go again.

Yes - your life purpose course did wonders regarding this. For me it’s not freedom for freedoms sake, it’s leaving the world s better place by not wasting my existence and capabilities as a human with unique talents Is that a visceral reason for you right now, that makes you feel things? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I know of people who needed more immediate and visceral reasons, like "I want to be able to play with my kids - and be able to spend more energy and time with them than whatever scraps is leftover after a long day at a draining job"

This is because the artificial light in laptop screens, phone screens, LEDs, street light and other electronics is throwing off our natural circadian rhythm. Using your phone and laptop at 17pm is already confusing for the body, because it has frequencies of light that would not occur naturally around that time. So if you want to have a consistent rhythm, but also live in a city and use technology, you have to force it a bit. With alarms and stuff. This is why people have blackout curtains and blue-blocking glasses. But it doesn't catch everything. To verify this, spend a week in a cabin in nature, where there's no glare from street lights coming in, and don't turn on any devices the whole week. You'll sleep like a baby after 9pm and be up and ready at dawn after a couple days. Disclaimer: I haven't personally done this, this is what I hear from people who have.

Catalysts to say what has never been said, to SEE what has never been seen. To draw, paint, sing, sculpt, dance and act what has never before been done. To push the envelope of creativity and language. And what's really important is, I call it, the felt presence of direct experience, which is a fancy terms which just simply means we have to stop CONSUMING our culture. We have to CREATE culture. DON'T watch TV, DON'T read magazines, don't even listen to NPR(Radio). Create your OWN roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are NOW is the most immediate sector of your universe. And if you're worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered. You're giving it all away to ICONS. Icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that, you want to dress like X or have lips like Y... This is shit-brained, this kind of thinking. That is all cultural diversion. What is real is you, and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told: "No!" "We're unimportant, we're peripheral" - get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that, and then you're a player. You don't even want to play in that game. You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that's being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world. Where is that at? -Terence McKenna <3 <3 <3

@Javfly33 This book would be perfect for you If what I'm saying doesn't make sense, consider reading it. My interpretation: you are lucky, because you are aware of an enjoyment that most people would be unaware of. This humiliating thing used to happen to you. Why? Because your subconscious enjoyed it. The solution? Make the enjoyment conscious. Your body is helping you transform it by making you hard. Enjoy it without judging it or yourself for it, as much as you feel like, and it will fade away after some time.

This is just neediness masquerading as virtue. You can say this because it sounds cool and makes you feel righteous. Until you actually date a suicidally depressed person. Then you won't say it anymore, if you survive it. I've only had the experience of dating a manic-depressive for awhile, and God, never again.

What you're not telling us is what really matters. Is this new job a position where you can blossom? Would you be able to do a lot of good for the world by using this job as a stepping stone? Would you be on purpose, or on the way to be on your purpose, by accepting that? You're so busy with your principles that you fail to think of the greater good. If you align your own evolution with Nature's evolution, and your highest interests with the world's best interest, you don't have to worry about things like favouritism. Because it's either meant to be, or it isn't. ?

Go to your YouTube history right now, and tell me what are the common themes in there. What interests do you have that not all of your peers have? What are the oddities?

@Animo Apologies for judging too quickly then. You can find a wealth of different success stories on thefastlaneforum.com

Hey if you think that's cool, go for it! It's not the idea, it's the execution.

Okay, sure but then why are you limiting yourself to online?

All these problems go away if you just approach people face to face. You're getting shit output because you don't put in. Texting a stranger on instagram takes no balls. Therefore, your results are trash. Chatting someone up face to face and asking them out, takes balls. Therefore, you get more interest back just because of that.

There a misunderstanding in you, which makes you judgmental. You assume: because people talk about shallow stuff, they are shallow. Actually, they do that because people first connect on a shallow level, before they get to the deeper stuff. You are not respecting the process. If you give people a chance, you will see that many people around you are able to talk about what you want to talk about.

You're coming at it from the wrong direction. Your first question should not be: what business model seems easy to make money with. It should be: what group of people am I interested in helping? Then: what do they need? What is a painful problem or a powerful desire I can help them with? Then, if the solution is a physical product, you would use shopify to sell it. If the solution is advice or training, you create an information product and sell that. Or write a book about it. Or provide coaching sessions. Or if you can solve the problem with software, you create that for them and sell that. Et cetera. It doesn't even have to be online, that's not determined until you know who you are helping and what they need. It pays to think further than your own desire to make money somehow. Money you made is a representation of how many people you've helped, and how important it was to them. People who just look for any way to make money, never get far. Because they are only looking to help themselves and no one else, they fail to do deep research and do hard work to provide real value, and they fail to create something that others would want to pay for.

I'd sell it out of a vintage camper van, and drive it from festival to festival. Cause it's a nice environment and you'd definitely have lots of customers day and night. I've seen it happen.

Yes, someone I personally know also says that mushrooms cause them a slight headache. A headache is not a migraine though. Very different things. There are reports of people suffering from actual migraines, who just take a good dose of shrooms every 2-3 weeks, and they stay away. Maybe it will work for her, maybe not... Just take a good trip and find out

What an insight! Congratulations. This is a great example of how karma works. It's often not that what you do, somehow causes others to do it to you. Sometimes that's what it comes to, but more often, the fear of someone doing the same to you is the actual "punishment". I've experienced a similar difficulty to be relaxed about my girlfriend visiting an ex. When we inquired, it turned out that it was not that I did not trust her, but rather the cause of my discomfort was my own ideations of being able to "trick" any woman into sleeping with me, if I applied the right tricks. Some of the more undeveloped pickup artists like Mystery teach that this is possible, and my young needy self latched onto that, to compensate for the deep sense of lack, missed opportunities with women, and unfairness. "Right now, I can't get what I want, but later, I will learn these tricks and get any girl I want, single or not", I would think. I needed to believe that that was possible, because I had felt so beaten down by my experiences and unsuccessful attempts, that it was the ultimate nerd revenge to envision this ultimate dominance. Also, in the past I've viewed girls I slept with as "resources", easy to get into bed again if I felt needy, and didn't feel confident enough to find someone new. I don't have to stress that this is a terrible strategy that doesn't work on healthy women, and also a waste of energy that can be spent finding and being with someone I actually like. Point being, this belief that I could always manipulate someone into sex, was not true, but I used it to feel better in dark times. And it came back to bite me indeed, when at a party with my girlfriend, or when my girlfriend wants to visit an ex. Dating a girl who had shown me that she could be manipulated into sex, against the agreements of our relationship, just anchored that belief as truth. Even though the conclusion should have been that this was just not the right one, and finding someone you can trust _is_ possible. What helped me, was to practice monogamy and learn that I can actually trust myself around exes and available girls. Discovering what it's like to value a relationship more than an opportunistic experience. As within, so without. Me being able to stay true in the face of temptation, made me able to believe that it can exist again.

I wish I had this level of balls when I was that age. So funny to see how everyone is projecting their fears onto you and reacting so negatively. Similarly, I'm projecting my regrets onto you and am biased in the opposite direction. @Noahsteelers34 But alas, here's my tip: watch "Undercover Billionaire". Both seasons. People get sent to a random town with only 100$ and a car, and build up a successful business within 3 months. I found this show to be more educational than the last 3 business books I've read combined. Learn as much as you can from the mindset of those people. Write down their habits and discover patterns in their actions. If you aren't going to be resilient, relentless and a fast learner, or allow yourself to have even the least bit of victim mindset, you chose the wrong path. I could not have handled this when I was 21, because I didn't embody those qualities then. Sidenote: why Miami, and not somewhere with a cheaper cost of living?

Hmm, this Cordyceps is some strong stuff. As always, I'm detoxing from a caffeine binge, and I had quite a problem with basic cognition this morning. Took 2g of cordyceps. Now I feel quite strong, analytical, powerful. I'm taking the lead in meetings and analyze everything the quickest and everyone just agrees. That's something I normally only see after day 21 of semen retention. But I'm on day 5 again. Or perhaps I kept enough this time to not collapse all the way to zero? There is anecdotal evidence of Cordyceps raising testosterone though. So I'm attributing it to that. The bad news: the quantified-mind website is letting me down. I've been taking cognition tests there after taking different supplements, thinking they would make it easy to analyze performance based on different factors. It seems buggy and unusable, though. No graphs are showing up unless I select multiple experiments. Which makes no sense.

I LOVED this video. On the one hand there is the mainstream perspective of "you went crazy", which is understandable. On the other hand, there are some very helpful insights there, and it is kind of painful how our culture pushes him to disregard them. Also the entities he meets, like shadow people, are not random creations of the brain, many people actually see these and communicate with them. Very uncomfortable but fascinating. What do we think about this? I also get periods in my life where a lot of synchronicities happen. It doesn't feel dangerous to me, I value them. Also feels like I could let go and believe in them even more, and that would lead to more insight, but also deeper waters that I am not ready to get into yet.