flowboy

@ndm678 If it's from a place of not feeling okay without her, you'd be right to worry about this. Perhaps you are less grounded in purpose or having your life and support system together in other ways. Otherwise, it's fine, and it's time to re-examine these beliefs about affection. Did you get hurt by girls in the past, because you were too affectionate? But... maybe when you did those behaviors then, it was coming from a different place, than it is now? Just projecting examples here. I encourage you to find out what you actually believe about affection, and where it comes from.

Are you referring to his open relationship? Sure, when your partner is feeling at their most insecure and vulnerable, and their emotions are bothering you, that's the perfect time to go sleep with someone else. Flawless advice, really. Top notch.

Sounds like hokey to me. Sadhguru is a good source of the most random do's and don'ts in the name of spirituality. I think he just appeals to people who want to be told what to do and feel spiritual about it. A mind-blowing intimate relationship will definitely make your life better. You can believe that and look forward to experiencing it, without it being an attachment that is somehow bad. It's a basic source of fulfillment. Why deny yourself that in the name of being spiritual?

See my last response in your original topic

Interesting, I haven't heard that before. I wonder, does it change based on how much you are in the body vs in the head? E.g. is hunger easier to feel after a yoga session or breathwork / dance / workout? What about after an emotional release? Does that make any difference?

Once upon a time... Later upon some other time...

Seems like a good corrective measure to me. By removing all those legumes you removed a lot of carbs and protein. Are you eating until satisfied? @Michael569?

Hi Seed, If you've been doing the same kind of personal growth work for years and you don't feel much progress, it's time to switch it up and try another method Or combine it with something new, to get you a little growth spurt. I'm sure people on here would have more suggestions for you to try. So would I. Also, be patient with yourself. It's okay to take years and years to grow out of most neuroticisms. Just make sure not to poison yourself too badly in the process. But also don't be perfectionistic about it. It's a balance. ?

Your inner child and teenager won't disappear when you heal your relationship with them You'll team up with them. They will always matter. A good exercise to do, is to get into a meditative state, and have a direct conversation with your inner child. You can do this by writing the conversation down, or by talking in your head. Listen to him. What is he going through? What has he been through? What does he want to tell you? What does he need from you? A lot can be healed with the words: I love you I'm sorry Thank you Forgive me You can keep repeating those sentences to your younger Raphael and have some interesting conversations with him after that.

Such healthy things to strive for! Very inspirational.

It doesn't harm anyone... except you? If you don't feel like it does, I would guess that that is because you're in your early twenties and your body will put up with whatever crazy shit you want to do for a couple years until your late twenties/early thirties. Doesn't mean it won't make you age faster today already. If you want another reason that could motivate you: how about being able to feel kinder, happier, more energetic and free spirited during the entire day, not just the evening? Now wouldn't that be cool? You could do personal growth work to accomplish that, then you don't need wine anymore and you get the benefit for most of the day. @Seed It doesn't have to feel like a sacrifice. I reckon you could even keep having wine in moderation until you naturally don't feel the need anymore. Provided you are actively doing the work, and your habit is not escalating. By doing the work, I mean on a very high level that you start with the premise that that kinder, happier, more energetic and free version of you is already inside of you during the day. There's just a bunch of conditioning and unresolved issues on top of it. So you start pulling at whatever worries/anxieties you have in the top layer, and working with those, until the kinder, happier, more energetic and free version of you starts to shine through.

Finally Admitting Defeat: Screw Big Habit Trackers They don't work. My friends and professionals have been saying it for years, but I wanted to verify it for myself. If habit trackers work, then they only work if only one or two of the habits is new, and the rest is already ingrained for at least a month. I've been working with over 15 habits at a time that were not fully automatic yet. Thinking: I could do them, it's not that hard, and when I do, I have a great day. So why start small? Well, I must conclude that my already ingrained good habits have been getting dragged down by the weight of the new ones, and everything turned into a mess over and over again. At some point, I must simply admit that this doesn't work. Only 1 thing should be new and challenging. Maybe 3 at the most. The rest should be so automatic that I don't have to think about them at all. That does mean that I need another list of "habit reminders" or "good behavior ideas" for throughout the day. They would remind me of things I can do to make my day better, but not feel like an obligation. Because I'm not focusing on them. Because focusing on everything means focusing on nothing.

As a slow caffeine metabolizer, I relate to this. I used to metabolize it quicker in my earlier twenties. Now, that's over. My solution: don't drink coffee as a tool to get work done. I have found that after a week of abstinence, I'm good to do most work again, and after 40 days, my cognitive ability and energy during most of the day is better than at the peak of a caffeine high. Do I still go back to it? Sometimes. It's enjoyable. It goes like this: Day 1 I drink some coffee, get some benefits, and have worse sleep. Day 2 I wake up tired. Have some coffee. Get diminished benefit. Have even worse sleep. Day 3 I really need that cup to even feel normal and productive. To get back to that awesome level, I need multiple cups, because I accumulated a lot of sleep debt. After day 3 I usually quit again, because the accumulated sleep debt becomes a problem. So my advice is to not use it as a crutch to be productive. You don't need that, unless you have a dependency. People who don't drink coffee are more productive for a larger portion of the day, than coffee drinkers. And they sleep better. There are some uses that still work for me. When I have to get up super early with little sleep, for a day of travel. It can help me through it. And after that, I better let it go again.

Yes - your life purpose course did wonders regarding this. For me it’s not freedom for freedoms sake, it’s leaving the world s better place by not wasting my existence and capabilities as a human with unique talents Is that a visceral reason for you right now, that makes you feel things? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I know of people who needed more immediate and visceral reasons, like "I want to be able to play with my kids - and be able to spend more energy and time with them than whatever scraps is leftover after a long day at a draining job"

This is because the artificial light in laptop screens, phone screens, LEDs, street light and other electronics is throwing off our natural circadian rhythm. Using your phone and laptop at 17pm is already confusing for the body, because it has frequencies of light that would not occur naturally around that time. So if you want to have a consistent rhythm, but also live in a city and use technology, you have to force it a bit. With alarms and stuff. This is why people have blackout curtains and blue-blocking glasses. But it doesn't catch everything. To verify this, spend a week in a cabin in nature, where there's no glare from street lights coming in, and don't turn on any devices the whole week. You'll sleep like a baby after 9pm and be up and ready at dawn after a couple days. Disclaimer: I haven't personally done this, this is what I hear from people who have.

Catalysts to say what has never been said, to SEE what has never been seen. To draw, paint, sing, sculpt, dance and act what has never before been done. To push the envelope of creativity and language. And what's really important is, I call it, the felt presence of direct experience, which is a fancy terms which just simply means we have to stop CONSUMING our culture. We have to CREATE culture. DON'T watch TV, DON'T read magazines, don't even listen to NPR(Radio). Create your OWN roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are NOW is the most immediate sector of your universe. And if you're worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered. You're giving it all away to ICONS. Icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that, you want to dress like X or have lips like Y... This is shit-brained, this kind of thinking. That is all cultural diversion. What is real is you, and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told: "No!" "We're unimportant, we're peripheral" - get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that, and then you're a player. You don't even want to play in that game. You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that's being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world. Where is that at? -Terence McKenna <3 <3 <3

@Javfly33 This book would be perfect for you If what I'm saying doesn't make sense, consider reading it. My interpretation: you are lucky, because you are aware of an enjoyment that most people would be unaware of. This humiliating thing used to happen to you. Why? Because your subconscious enjoyed it. The solution? Make the enjoyment conscious. Your body is helping you transform it by making you hard. Enjoy it without judging it or yourself for it, as much as you feel like, and it will fade away after some time.

This is just neediness masquerading as virtue. You can say this because it sounds cool and makes you feel righteous. Until you actually date a suicidally depressed person. Then you won't say it anymore, if you survive it. I've only had the experience of dating a manic-depressive for awhile, and God, never again.

What you're not telling us is what really matters. Is this new job a position where you can blossom? Would you be able to do a lot of good for the world by using this job as a stepping stone? Would you be on purpose, or on the way to be on your purpose, by accepting that? You're so busy with your principles that you fail to think of the greater good. If you align your own evolution with Nature's evolution, and your highest interests with the world's best interest, you don't have to worry about things like favouritism. Because it's either meant to be, or it isn't. ?

Go to your YouTube history right now, and tell me what are the common themes in there. What interests do you have that not all of your peers have? What are the oddities?

@Animo Apologies for judging too quickly then. You can find a wealth of different success stories on thefastlaneforum.com

Hey if you think that's cool, go for it! It's not the idea, it's the execution.

Okay, sure but then why are you limiting yourself to online?

All these problems go away if you just approach people face to face. You're getting shit output because you don't put in. Texting a stranger on instagram takes no balls. Therefore, your results are trash. Chatting someone up face to face and asking them out, takes balls. Therefore, you get more interest back just because of that.

There a misunderstanding in you, which makes you judgmental. You assume: because people talk about shallow stuff, they are shallow. Actually, they do that because people first connect on a shallow level, before they get to the deeper stuff. You are not respecting the process. If you give people a chance, you will see that many people around you are able to talk about what you want to talk about.