flowboy

@Focus Shift Peopled Darkness: Perceptual Transformation Through Salvia Divinorum https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4459250-peopled-darkness I haven't read it yeat but I'm awfully intrigued.

@Phoebe Excellent point. @melodydanielluna I'll record an even better one today

Did you have any complications with your birth? Was your mother in distress when she carried you inside? Was there an unsafe situation or were you mistreated when you were between 0-5 years old?

@PurpleTree Wanna get rid of those feelings blocking you? Can't get around them. Gotta work through them! Maybe now you're motivated enough to go deep

Her girlfriends probably told her that she shouldn't rebound that quickly, or something like that. Reminded her that her trap is to get attached too quickly. And maybe it is, and you got caught in the crossfire. I'm not sure what the most effective text would be to get her to respond again. Perhaps accusing her of being a player and having used you for sex, in a one-sentence joking way, would be my best guess for something that would work. The healthy advice is to just leave it alone because her questions on the second date indicated that she gets attached too quickly, and her having been in an abusive relationship means she's got issues. That's two red flags. Keep in mind that people will say all kinds of things in the heat of the moment. She may have felt very attached then, and ask you whether you're seeing others, and the next day she's in a different mood and doesn't feel attached. Maybe she needed to create that feeling of attachment and intimacy to be able to have sex, and that prompted her to say those questions. I'd probably say "I have neither the time nor the inclination to put up with these games." and just leave it at that. Delete her number if she doesn't respond within a day.

She/he should never have dropped you that quick. Watch my video on what makes therapy effective and how to ask for it.

??? These are not friends. Friends don't do that. Have some self-respect and don't engage with people who treat you like that. My honest advice to you is to do get a good therapist. Your behavior (engaging in conversations, and even friendships, with people who put you down), indicates a lack of self-respect, boundaries, self-esteem, self worth, self-belief, all the good stuff. You have none of that, and the only way that would happen, is if your parents also treated you with little respect. There must have been some abuse or neglect in your relationship with them. You don't get past this simply by learning a different mindset or following somebody's advice. You do deep inner transformation, emotional labor, preferably guided by a professional. If you can pay out of pocket for that, I can point you to some people. Otherwise you're dependent on insurance. Hence, get a good therapist.

I wouldn't do dates that take a lot of time investment for you to organize before you've had sex. So yeah, if you had sex on the first date, you can get fancy if you want. Although I wouldn't. Most of these are more 4th -and-beyond type dates, and a scavenger hunt that you have to organize is just a really bad idea unless you've been dating for months or something else special is going on. I'd recommend at least 3 low investment dates and having sex before you get fancy. Don't forget that if you invest a lot of effort (or money) into a date before having slept together, it makes the girl uncomfortable, because you might expect something in return for all that effort, and she hasn't figured out whether she wants to sleep with you yet, and she wants to figure that out in a low-pressure setting. What you can and should do, is already talk about these plans during the simple dates (create a future storyline together) The ice-bath-hike thing WAS a first date, it was high-investment, especially because I had to book a flight to her country, but we're engaged now, all of which goes to show that you CAN break the investment rules but you better be sure that she's very emotionally invested on her end. (actually it doesn't matter whether you've had sex, it matters whether she's emotionally invested enough to already have decided that she would have sex with you, and the fact that you've had sex is just an easy heuristic)

If you want to get laid but not get drunk, go shopping for food together and then go to your place to prepare dinner together. You can probably even start this off by just saying "help me shop for food" and then turning it into "now that you've helped me, let's go cook something together" It helps if the recipe is your idea. It does NOT need to be an impressive recipe, you just need to be in charge of it and instruct her how to help. If you don't lead, you probably won't have sex that day, but it's okay at least you had a helping hand in the kitchen. (don't get neurotic about it, she can have ideas too) Also you can already touch her and play with the sexual tension in the kitchen, because you're standing so close together. Forgot to mention that one, but that was my go-to when I was single. If you did all of those, you just finish eating and then kiss her. I've literally never had that kiss rejected after going through the above sequence of events. I don't think it matters what it is, except that you must like doing it. I don't think that picking a date is more complicated than just doing something you would have done without her anyway. And coffee dates suck, caffeine puts people in a logical state, don't do it. The girl will be in her head, thinking of reasons to not go too far, you will be in your head, missing all opportunities to escalate, it's the WORST. Also, sitting down together and talking is not a good date, there needs to be doing something together in which you lead and she follows / learns from you. Don't worry about what it is, girls know how to play their part, if they like you then they will just play along and follow your lead, even if it's not actually new to them or they would have done it differently. This is why picnic dates lead to sex if she helped with the shopping (dynamic, doing something together, you lead and she helps), but less often if you prepared it for her (investment balance is way off, less opportunities to lead). Don't forget we're primal beings, and she wants to have sex with someone who can lead an adventure.

No all of these were different people

@NoSelfSelf just some basic Wim Hof breathing, or generally being Dutch, helped to survive that Especially in the long hike back through the snow, we really needed the breathing technique to warm back up. Way to add some memorability and intensity to a date though

@Emrie Some nice ideas! I like the idea for the thread too. However, it's going to be most useful if you list the ideas that you have a good personal experience with, so I'd like to know which of those ones you listed have you tried out personally? I will submit a few that I had a good experience with: Punching a hole in a frozen lake and doing an ice bath, then having frozen sex in the snow after, that was like the best date ever Walking in the park Hanging out in the park Swimming in the lake next to the park Doing a picnic in the park Petting zoo! which is also located in the park Hmm, common theme here...

@mmKay Well said

@Someone here You need to go longer than 24 hours. Like any dependency. It gets worse before it gets better and the cravings go away. For sugar it's about a week, if it's your first time. Caffeine 2-3 weeks. In your case, I would strongly recommend just focusing on quitting smoking, and not wasting your will power on other things.

Just take Mind Lab Pro, it's affordable, has only verified (brand name) ingredients and works really well without side effects. (except if you count the side effect that my fiancee thinks I'm too overintellectualizing on it and it annoys her)

https://www.healthshots.com/intimate-health/feminine-hygiene/top-7-foods-for-a-better-smelling-vagina/ I used to ask girls on Tinder whether they like pineapple as an opener, then they'd say sure why, then I'd say ok what about cinnamon, then send them this link Can't say all women appreciated it but it made me laugh.

and what's your impressive job? aren't you a work in progress when it comes to socializing either? does that mean you're past your prime / a bad apple?

No, I slow down and relax my body: This is the simplest way. I'm giving you a condensed step by step. You can also practice it by yourself. Just when you're at 90%, practice relaxing your entire body including cock and ass, and let the tension flow up the spine. You'll see that your arousal level is "reset" after that.

Ok so do you want to cum out of your belly button? Or maybe out of your eyes, while you look her in the eyes? As long as we're doing surgery, may as well have some fun with it.

@Emrie I just like to stick to my basic principle that I don't mess with nature if I don't have to. Whenever people think that they are smarter than nature, they create nasty side effects. Especially when the tech is new. Drugs to make birth easier creates a life long trauma for the child. Painkillers that were safe to use during pregnancy have caused horrible disfigurement ("sorry guys") Aluminum in deodorant (anti-perspirant) "innocently" blocks up your pores and adds more toxicity. Silicone nets that were put inside women's bodies to uphold their organs after C-section caused horrible problems when pieces broke off and moved throughout the body. And then there was no way to remove them, ("sorry again guys"). I see the pattern now: people think they're smarter than nature, invent things that people have a need for, make a lot of money from it, and only 70 to 100 years later find out what a bad idea it was. Don't even get me started on lobotomies. And every generation thinks they're cutting-edge compared to a few decades ago, they really have everything figured out now, sure sure. We're still living in the stone age compared to 50 years ahead. The female pill creates nasty side effects, for example changing their taste in men, and overall personality. So I don't believe in messing with hormones if you don't have a dangerous deficiency. The guy in the video doesn't even know if his sperm count is going to come back! Probably it is, but he doesn't know. And clearly the hormones are affecting him, because he's getting chubby. In my opinion he's insane. He'd rather recklessly risk becoming infertile than practice some self-control. The body is a delicate balance, everything affects everything, messing with anything will cause unknown side effects. Blocking up passageways can't be healthy. Silicone inside my body? No thanks. For all I know a piece could break off and cause a blood clot somewhere. If I don't want to impregnate her, I don't shoot inside her + use a condom when she's fertile, and that's good enough for me. In fact, I don't shoot a lot at all, maybe once or a couple times a month, which is why that's easy for me. People are too addicted to cumming to properly enjoy sex. But I digress.

@ivankiss Sex is great and I can relate to a lot of what you're saying... I've basically made most of my twenties about sex. I sort of regret that now if I think about it, I realise that if I had just first done more trauma release, I wouldn't have had to work so hard and bend over backwards to get laid, also if I had buckled down sooner I could have been financially independent already and then there's always time for sex later. Anyways, I had some great times and more to come. Here's what I learnt: I symbolized heavily on sex and the girls I had sex with. Symbolizing means unconsciously trying to get old needs fulfilled through present means. So if I for example lacked belonging in my teen and child years, which is a core need, (I never was popular or accepted), I could sleep with a girl and make that mean that now I was a worthy, cool guy who would be accepted. It sound illogical but the subconscious works in strange ways. You can also symbolize with other needs, for example people who had a cold or stressed mother who didn't touch them enough as a young child, will try to seek that Symbolizing makes the experience way more stimulating, addictive and important than it really is Sexual transmutation is real. The more I'm in action mode with my life purpose, the less I'm thinking about sex, it actually feels like a distraction to me. So you might also ask yourself if you are doing something with your life that you are so obsessed with, that is so meaningful that sex is a joke compared to that. If not, find it.

@Eternal Unity Yes you have to actually believe that it's normal and proper for a woman to buy you a drink. You believe on some level that it's too narcissistic, therefore it can't work

Sounds like you can already start the first one. Then you could give some workshops about what God really is, take that money and travel to the next place, hang up some flyers, repeat? Probably that experience will help you write a better book.

@Someone here what happened, did you relapse or something? Edit: oh I see you did. Yes, I've been there, I have tried to quit smoking off and on for 10 years, since I was 19 or so. I have written pages and pages in my diary about how it undermines my willpower, my self-esteem, and how it makes me depressed that it will make me sick, and still I'm not stopping. It's a really bad thing for your self-image, because you're doing something you don't believe in, thereby constantly contradicting your integrity. Are you desperate enough to open up to the possibility that you might have to heal some childhood trauma in order to become less prone to addiction?

Anything is better than saying "I'm broke" like an asshole. That's like a girl saying "I've got crusted period blood on my pussy lips" and expecting you to take her home.