flowboy

@Pallero Like stick to a heathy diet? Go to the gym? Are you seriously suggesting to not push past resistance and give up? Or do you secretly have a problem with cold approach and your agenda is to try to get people to stop? By trying to convince them that they don't want to in the first place? I'm really struggling to view this comment as something constructive, given that this is a self-improvement forum.

No, not at all. I've never heard of that from any man. Personally I feel sleepy or hungry and emotionally quite cold and nonattached right after.

The Universe is joking with me a bit, and I can kind of see the humor. My door handle broke. It took 5 (!) attempts to lock my bike. My regular girl is becoming doubtful and flaky. The girl who I was looking forward to seeing the most, and who I thought was very solid, cancelled permanently for mental health reasons. Universe: Do you get it yet?! Me: "I think so...? Ha, ha." *stealthily wipes tears* The ego-mind has once again found something to attach itself to. The having girls around thing seemed permanent, so the ego said: "MINE!!" and slapped a label on it with its name. And it started protecting it. Stressing about keeping this new status quo. But I'm still here. There is some sadness, some anger, some frustration. Some relief. Monday was also weird. Universe was like: "You think you're good with girls now? Here, have a night of falling totally into someone's frame, being milked for validation and having your balls handed to you." Alright, I get it!! Nothing is mine, about me, or because of me. There are no good and bad events. And the ones I happen to like exist by the grace of the Universe. No use building an ego around them because they can be ripped away at any time. I've been a fucking narcissist. And I've lost my sense of humor, I noticed. Too busy stressing about girls flaking me. Better RELAX

I was going to write all sorts of negative sounding musings here, but then I realised that they don't matter. Let's just say that I stopped meditating and I'm looking forward to starting again. What Went Well I had someone over who ordered a delicious looking and smelling pizza and ate the whole thing in front of me, and I didn't have one bite. Just a loose piece of pineapple. She also drank 3 beers in front of me, and kept offering because she had picked it out just for me! A month ago I wouldn't have been able to say no to that. This time it was quite effortless. I had one very tiny sip, just to taste it. I bought a sleeping mask as part of my continuous efforts to improve my sleep. I feel like it helped a bit. Got up at : 9:00 Morning,Evening,Night routine streak: 0 One Approach A Day streak : 0 Eating within 9 hour window streak : 0 Number of women approached : 25 Total infield time : 12h20 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : (168/232) Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 80 alcohol : 15 caffeine except tea : 17 TV : 0 grains : 28 sugar : 18 dairy : 34 peak orgasm : 0 porn : 37

The chaos aspect of dating is getting to me a bit. Hot girl that I connected with on every level, made out, was super down after the first date, randomly decided to ghost me. I was really getting my hopes up. (Maybe she made a deal with her friend?) Woman who I had set up an explicit sex date with (it was her being so open with those desires) cancelled on the same day, for the second time. I decided to tell her off. In hindsight, that was not necessary, could have just ignored. It was the sign of "it getting to me" Unattractive girl who I gave a chance anyway because her personality is fun, flat-out rejected me because I wasn't gentlemanly enough to walk her to the door/bus stop. Well I stand by that, I had stuff to do. But still. I thought it went really well. Extremely hot girl who I exchanged numbers with, clearly has a low opinion of me and is now mocking me for pursuing her My regular managed to cancel-and-postpone a date 4 times on the same day. Clearly losing respect for me, or testing. Extremely hot girl who I had a very solid dinner date and makeout with, responded nicely (although late) to my messages, never had time to meet up and now flat-out told me that she's not looking to date and not to get any ideas. Just many other girls who I had high hopes of randomly stopped responding. Some got offended/turned off by a vulgar joke that I thought was very funny at the time So I realize all this is part of it, and the more I can appreciate that and let go, the better things will be. But yes, it's a roller coaster. Constant getting my hopes up, thinking I have it in the bag and it's going to happen, then getting those hopes crushed. I'm learning... that you never know what's going to happen. A great time and great connection afterwards doesn't mean you'll see or hear from the person a week later, apparently. I know I'm sounding a bit like I'm complaining. I'm not in full self-pity mode: actually I'm happy that I'm learning. Just venting a bit about the unexpected harshness of the reality of dating

Girls do this when they see their friend is getting attracted and might do something "slutty". So could be a sign that you were making headway. Great persistence man!

@SunnyNewDay This is a totally different question. Belongs in your own topic.

I'm about to walk into the grocery store when I see her, standing outside. Smoking a cigarette. Blonde, freckles, tall, slim. So pretty that I feel like I don't even deserve to take up her time. I panic and continue into the store. Then something in me goes: "FUCK IT. You have to learn this. Yes, it's going to be awkward, possibly even humiliating. You have to learn to tolerate that." I go back outside and hesitantly approach her. Now she must know I don't feel high value compared to her. But fuck it, that ship has sailed. I mutter something about seeing her in my instagram feed (??), she says she's seen me around the gym. She works there, in the store. But she's studying to be a lawyer. Criminal law and sensational stuff fascinates her. I joke that she can defend me later. I ask her name. We shake hands. She says she has to go into work now. I ask: "what's my name?" and she goes: "Oh, dunno, I don't remember shit like that" ? During the whole conversation I feel like I'm using a fake voice (a weird, bitchy sounding one apparently) and I'm pretty (not completely) blocked in what I authentically want to say. I do manage to say something about her freckles, because I was honestly thinking about them, and state that I think it's cute. It doesn't land. By that time she's too weirded out. Plus there was never really a hook point. The whole thing was a an awkward mess, but a beautiful awkward mess. Because it's my mess. I feel a bit surprised in how hard it is to be myself and flow freely with people I think I don't deserve. But overall, I'm very, very proud that I saw a stunner and just went up cold. Got up at : 8:30 Morning,Evening,Night routine streak: 0 One Approach A Day streak : 2 Eating within 9 hour window streak : 0 Number of women approached : 24 Total infield time : 12h20 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : (168/232) Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 77 alcohol : 12 caffeine except tea : 14 TV : 0 grains : 25 sugar : 15 dairy : 31 peak orgasm : 4 porn : 34

Just came back from a friend's going away party. Just before I went there, I felt suddenly my energy drop and like I had these bags under my eyes, which I did, and needed to sleep. This was around 9/10 ish. Decided to go anyway. Had a good time. So 3.5 hours of social interaction when I'm dead tired... Still, it was nice and met a pretty girl who I had decent interactions with. Actually, I had great fun with everyone there. I'm a pretty social guy for a few hours, even when zombified. It's like because I'm conducting my emotions more efficiently, and worrying less about bullshit, I still had energy left to be social. I realised: I need to organise things with groups of friends. Have a more active social circle. Yes, it will cost me time, but it's a very relaxing element of life to have friends you can just banter with. Maybe once a week is plenty. It will bring balance to my life. Not just girls are important.

I'm peacefully catching up on email, and I feel efficient and focused. Nice flow. Compared to Ritalin: less stressful less euphoric more sustainable just as motivated even more efficient, because distractions don't boundlessly interest me like on amphetamines Ingredients: Working out every day this week (running + gym today) Mental peace from having done my daily approach already and being 'on track' in general 1tsp magnesium, 1/2 tsp lo-salt, 1/2 tsp salt Green tea Dark chocolate Fish fried in much coconut oil

@RawJudah I feel ashamed for being so unnecessary harsh on you man. Kind of want to delete my post, but that would be inauthentic. Back to the subject. Yes and no. My working theory is that your green and yellow thinking will help you avoid the toxic parts of Orange, and keep a more mature view while working through it. The wisdom will also help to not get stuck in it too long, and avoid some pitfalls. So I think it's a benefit. But in the end, it simply is. I'm in a similar position, 26 and just starting to admit to myself that I need to go get some material success and fulfill some basic needs, before I can go meditate in a cave or whatever. I was confused for a long time. Yes, I've been pissed off at myself for taking action so late. The being pissed off was ever present for the past year. I can tell you, taking action is freeing. I'm nowhere near on track, but just the fact that I'm making time for these things regularly was so cathartic for me. The self hate quickly dissipated. Now I'm just humbled and motivated. I think and hope you will have a similar effect pretty soon. You can go meet strangers in a mindful way. The flow you get from it can be a spiritual experience. So you don't have to put everything on hold I think. Plus, to be good with women you need to have a purpose, or an interest that you will choose over women. If spirituality is that, great. So the fact that you will not cancel your meditation for a date for example, will actually help you massively. I think if you look for synergies, there will be plenty Short answer: yes. The information itself is mostly true, but the bitterness behind it is what's toxic. Read/watch with a double mental condom, if you must. Although I recommend learning from sources that have a positive energy behind their message. RSD for example has the same info, but zero bitterness. They love women.

@RawJudah My sincere apologies then, I'm having a bad day because of text game trouble. Guess I couldn't see you were joking because of that. Congratulations on your action taking! Really impressive how quickly you pulled the trigger. Exciting stuff!

@bejapuskas That's true and has nothing to do with my point. I am objecting to @RawJudah asking for advice, receiving advice from dozens of people, and then arguing against it. What's the point of asking then.

@RawJudah What, we're supposed to convince you to do pickup now? If you don't like the answers you got from the people here, you are free to do whatever you want. Did the Buddha go on internet forums for advice about his repressed sexual desires? Did Gandhi go on internet forums for advice about his repressed sexual desires? Did Jesus go on internet forums for advice about his repressed sexual desires? My take is you're scared to go meet women, and would much prefer to just sit at home, meditate and physically and mentally masturbate while you compare yourself to the Buddha. Have at it. I'm out.

Caffeine unaddiction complete. I feel like I took a limitless pill, crushed it up, snorted a few crumbs and flushed the rest out of fear for addiction. But I didn't. I drank magnesium water. What the fuck. I suppose I'm just happy to be working in a good flow with reasonable focus and clarity, without having to drink coffee until I'm twitching all over. This is what was possible all along?! Not even green tea today. Not even spirulina. I noticed that the dark chocolate I ate (like 1/3rd of a bar) was followed by a half-hour dip in focus and willpower. Perhaps that's a little hard on my digestion the same way gluten is. I should limit it even more. Had a thought this morning: everyone seems to be assuming that everything they eat or drink has to taste good. Like, how naive is that. Why, after decades of stuffing yourself with bread and pastries would you think your taste buds would even recognize healthy food? "If I don't like it, I'm not doing it" You know what, I will judge whether I like something by how it makes me feel after, not during. [/rant] In other news: I'm sleeping better. I think. The nighttime ritual is helping, no devices on is helping, the magnesium is DEFINITELY helping. And the not ingesting a stimulant that takes forever to flush out, aka coffee. I'm pleased

Got up at : 7:05 Morning,Evening,Night routine streak: 0 One Approach A Day streak : 2 Eating within 9 hour window streak : 0 Number of women approached : 21 Total infield time : 12h15 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : (165/232) Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 74 alcohol : 9 caffeine except tea : 11 TV : 0 grains : 22 sugar : 12 dairy : 28 peak orgasm : 1 porn : 31 There was a bit of cheese on the carpaccio I ordered at the restaurant two days ago. I am not resetting my dairy counter for that. To clarify: I try to not go out to eat a lot When I do, I pick the dish that seems to fit in my diet. If none, then I don't eat there. I don't force myself to ask the waiter for ingredients. There maybe some sugar in the sauce here, some starch there. I don't worry about it. Any side dishes that clearly don't fit, I don't touch. For example potato chips and bread, sides of cheese, cookies you get with tea. I draw the line at picking stuff out of my food. Or asking the staff to do that. And if a dish is meant to be eaten with sauces, I will try some of them. I suppose this is my version of a cheat day. I don't eat outside my diet on purpose, but if it happens by accident, fine. I'm not going to make my life extremely difficult to prevent that.

@tsuki Bookmarked and saved That's fucking insightful wow So it's a game of "Let's practice distracting ourselves from what we don't want to see, together"

I can feel my neurons firing faster. My thoughts are fast and to-the-point. My movements are efficient and effortless. I've been feeling all morning like I'm in some superhuman state of functioning. But I think I'm just catching up to my potential, by eliminating foods that cause me depression and brain fog, and working out in the morning AND getting my minerals balanced. Wow. Intermittent fasting I started drinking my mineral water with lemon juice and maca powder, without realising that that counts as food. Any nutrients count as food, that's why when intermittent fasting you don't drink tea or coffee outside the eating window. Because that too activates your metabolism. MAN I'M TYPING FAST I will count it this time as a beginner's mistake, and tomorrow only do water until 12.

@ShaharA Oh my, that's really impressive! Congrats man. Also in my experience the practice of renunciation can lead to some unexpected insights.

I've been increasingly aware that debating people is a very addictive waste of energy. * On this forum * With my ex girlfriend, whom I like but she disapproves of everything I do lately, and can't help herself but express her condemnation harshly when I share something Of course turning this into a debate takes two. Today, I feel very aware of how much energy I'm putting into a conversation and where it's coming from. In this case, one moment the motivating energy was "sharing", we were catching up and it's fun to share. Then the energy changed, she expressed disapproval and now the motivation for me to speak was the drive to defend, convince, debate, correct, TELL PEOPLE HOW DUMB AND HYPOCRITICAL THEY ARE! But I said to myself, let's not. What's to be gained? The carrot dangled in front of you is to convince the other of your views. To feel understood, validated, safe, after the other admitted that you are right. But does this ever happen? Once you get into debate mode, and the energy changes from curious to combative, it's too late. I suppose it happens frequently enough to addict us. But this is like a rare dog treat in a conditioning experiment. Like winning big in the casino, rarer even. As a rule of thumb, I will strive to voice my opinion once, and when there's contradicting opinions, and I feel like engaging that debate energy, just not to say anything more unless asked. I suppose this fits in with the recent development of me being more aware of the energy behind what I'm saying. I'm pleased But also, like with any paradigm shift, I'll probably start seeing it everywhere now, and will have to refrain from pointing it out to people. Like the resolution of my vision got an upgrade, and now I'll probably have to restrain myself from attempting to wipe all the tiny spots from other people's glasses. Maybe this was catalyzed by not drinking, alcohol also tends to blur your 'vision'. In other news, I have never felt to focused and effective at work without coffee! Ever. I believe. In a meeting I was decisive and leading. I didn't set out to be, but I felt it was necessary. I felt so clear-minded, that it seemed in comparison that everyone around me was very cloudy and saying a lot of unnecessary things that didn't help progress. Just a very good decisive dopamine rush. I think I succeeded in helping the group make a decision quickly, so that everyone could get back to work and not waste anyone's time. Somehow almost nobody is aware of how much time they are wasting by going into unnecessary stories and detours in a meeting. Also, it used to be that when I interrupted someone, or cut their story short, I would feel guilty and worry about it a bit. Not this time. I still blushed, but didn't even waste energy on second-guessing myself. My fingers are typing like crazy. Forceful, like they really WANT to type. Knowledge is more quickly accessible, but I don't get lost in it. And I've not even had tea. All I had was water with spirulina, magnesium, potassium and sodium. Probably a little too much sodium, it tasted like sea water and my eyes kinda felt pressure like when I've been swimming in salty sea water. I'm still experimenting. And for lunch I had a good portion of fatty trout and herring. Couple avocados. Some almond butter. The clouds have parted!!! I'm referring to ADD symptoms. I want to save this state as a savepoint, so I can load it later when I have brain fog. Ingredients: minerals, lots of water, spirulina, wheat grass powder, lemon juice, running in the morning, fatty fish, avocados, almonds, 99% dark chocolate. And clearly, I can feel this great even without two weeks of saved up semen. Interesting. Got up at : 9:15 Morning,Evening,Night routine streak: 0 One Approach A Day streak : 1 Eating within 9 hour window streak : 0 Number of women approached : 20 Total infield time : 12h15 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : (162/232) Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 73 alcohol : 8 caffeine except tea : 10 TV : 0 grains : 21 sugar : 11 dairy : 27 peak orgasm : 0 porn : 30

I still have a few hours to do my daily approach. Looking forward to the report!

What have you tried? Leo has like 6 videos about the topic. Did you study them?

Trusting your own judgment over that of some girl would be a good start Do you think you need more confidence, or do you think you're actually fine like this? If not, what do you mean by confidence?

@NoSelfSelf Sorry, how do you mean?

I think the supplements are helping. When I woke up, I felt like I had slept ENOUGH (I hadn't). Went for a run around 7:30 aaaaand did my first approach while on the run! I saw a girl with long red hair. I started making the excuses: I have all day, I'm busy working out, I don't have to start today yet ... Then she turns around. This is meant to be. I introduce myself to her. She smiles and we talk for a bit. Part of me can't believe that such a beautiful girl is being so friendly and open to me. She must have been in a good mood too. After rambling a bit about festivals, I feel like there is nothing left to say. Couple factors: - The fact that I promised to be back in 20 minutes is disturbing my thoughts now, I feel I should continue running - I'm really sleepy and I just had sex half an hour ago, I'm actually not super motivated to hit on her - Proving that I could have a pleasant conversation with an attractive stranger was all I set out to do. This goal was accomplished. - I'm not warmed up and can't think of a next step But she apparently walks there every morning, so I say "see you tomorrow then, maybe, ha ha" She affirms. Next time I meet someone in the morning, I will propose a coffee date later that day. I get back home and make my girl breakfast. Said jokingly "sorry I'm late. I met a girl at the park. I think she's gonna be my next girlfriend." While looking for her underwear, she finds some other girl's underwear behind/under my bed. I say "Oh right, I think I know who lost that. Stop judging me!" She must think I'm a slut AND a slob. Not sure if good or bad. Just had a great dinner and lovely deep conversation with a friend. Now, I'm beat. No "evening routine" for me today. Straight to bed. When I'm fresh tomorrow, I can think about how to handle a situation like that: going out to eat right after work is from 18:00 to 21:00. Yeah, probably meditate right after. But I feel like sleeping would be more beneficial right now, or I might get sick. Got up at : 6:45 Morning,Evening,Night routine streak: 0 One Approach A Day streak : 1 Eating within 9 hour window streak : 0 Number of women approached : 20 Total infield time : 12h15 Total meditation time : 13h45 Speeches given : 2 Books read : 0 Currently reading : (162/232) Stealing Fire - Steven Kotler et. al. Days without smoking : 72 alcohol : 7 caffeine except tea : 9 TV : 0 grains : 20 sugar : 10 dairy : 26 peak orgasm : 0 porn : 29