flowboy

Why do you think this has anything to do with you? From a written question without a face or any behavioral cues, there is not so much metadata to be gleaned that the concept of these people being attracted to "you" makes sense. What would drive the "smart" people away? Your phrasing? Two guesses I can think of: You're a perfectionist and none of the responses seem smart to you, because in your mind you are sure you know better anyway. If this is the case then making threads doesn't even make sense to do The other forum simply doesn't have the "smart" people you are looking for

I have no doubt that he knows everything about life in Syria. I do doubt, however, that he is an authority on: Helplessness vs taking action Inner game of making sacrifices to go for what you want "Changing people" Leaving Syria (as I understand, he still lives there) ...any more than the rest of us.

By seeing multiple people casually. Currently 3. It does work, because you're independent of any particular one. You can be non-needy without doing that, but then you have to be developed to the point where sex is not important to you and you don't need it at all. Most of us aren't there.

No you cannot. As a general rule, you cannot change people. And it's a huge trap to think that, and waste time hoping for that. Maybe you were a lucky exception, but that doesn't mean that it will apply to someone else.

You're right on point. How they talk to you is how they talk to themselves. Their own negative self-talk is what you are hearing. And indeed, it's contagious. They probably absorbed that negativity from someone else, too. It helps to realise that. How that works. You come to the conclusion that it has nothing to do with you. I have tried to argue in the past, but I find that that accomplishes nothing. You can't solve someone's negativity problem for them, they will just get defensive and double down. I find it best to avoid these people. You can't fix them, and they expose you to their toxicity. However, don't make the mistake of lumping constructive criticism in with negativity. You want a circle of people that catch your mistakes and provide advice. That's more useful than friends who just affirm everything. Nowadays, this is an automatic reaction in me: I just feel disgust when I detect an attitude like that, and it makes me turn away.

@Truth Addict Actually, your comments are toxic and dangerous. Telling someone they're weak and vulnerable, and that they have to "just accept that their situation, there is nothing you can do right now" is just not the right answer. I don't know why you're trying so hard to be disempowering and patronizing, but that's no way to help someone solve a serious problem. What is this "experience" you speak of?

Either that or the western world is about to collapse under its own weight due to complacency, just like the Roman Empire did.

Man, I feel you. When I'm working hard on things for myself, the urges get strong and I feel like I'm wasting time and should be fucking girls now that I'm young. And then there's times where I do that and the purpose gets ignored. @SFRL is right. Do one, then the other. Which one is more important first is your (hard) choice to make. Mixing hasn't worked so well for me either. I'm currently trying to keep a rotation going of a couple girls who I can meet every now and then but are very low maintenance and low-bullshit. So they don't require any attention, dinners or even texting in between. Less distraction for me. The ones that do require chitchat just fade the fuck out of my life, and I don't try to stop them. So I'm saying if you choose purpose first, you could try to get the bare minimum amount of sex to survive on, and screen HARD for low-maintenance.

@Sidra I want to show some respect by admitting that I have no way of imagining what it's really like to live where you live. A friend of mine left her country of very strict religion and lives here in Europe as a free girl now, pursuing her passions and having many friends. She never talks to her parents anymore. For her, this was totally worth it. Here's my honest and best take on this, given aforementioned disclaimer: What you need is for people to tell you that it's okay to leave your parents, family and country for good. I'm not kidding. I know how hard it is to give yourself permission for something when all day you are in an environment where people tell you that what you want is sinful and wrong and you should be ashamed to want that. That influence is just really hard to break through. You need to offset it with different voices, if you'll have any chance of breaking free. I have no idea on the practicalities of escaping your situation. But I do know that if you can let go of the judgment from your environment, and actually give yourself permission to go for what you want, then you have a chance. So, here's my contribution: It's okay to want freedom. It's okay to be selfish for once, so you can be a great person later on. It's okay to break up with family. It's okay to desert your whole environment and never look back, if that is necessary. Sad, but good. Give yourself permission. Be nice to yourself. Want the best for yourself without shame. Think of the person you could become, and how much more good you would be able to do for the world, if you were more free. I'm talking to you from the other side of the fence. I want you to go for what YOU want. We all want you to climb over that metaphorical fence, and we'll catch you with open arms when you make the leap. You'll have more loving friends than you thought possible, and will meet your new, self-chosen family. Waste no time trying to make your friends and family understand. They won't. Ever. Ever. Let that go. I don't agree with the people recommending to stay in the same place and just meditate a lot and start an online business. Your environment is toxic and too strong, it will drag you down eventually. It is poisoning you, and you can't win by staying. If you want to get the fuck out, do it now. Climb over, we're waiting

Take pleasure in the fact that you are working on your concentration skills by reading. It's an exercise on multiple levels.

You could take notes while listening on the way to school, and work on the exercises for that same video on the way back. This way you can still be involved with the subject on every bus ride, which is apparently what you want, and still actually get something out of it. Not much value in listen-and-forget.

Some problems with this question: How are you defining "highly conscious"? Are you defining it in terms of Green values for example? Because that would make your reasoning circular Assuming you have come up with a clear criterium, how would you be able to judge objectively how conscious any other person is? I find that it's hard to see far above our own level. What seems low-consciousness to me could actually be too high-consciousness for me to understand. To give an example so you know I'm not just arguing for its own sake: if I were a politician in a democratic country, and had many high-consciousness well-intentioned plans, I still have to be elected by the masses. Which means I have to appeal to a relatively low-consciousness crowd, in order to be elected and actually be able to do anything. So I will have to present myself as much more low-consciousness than I actually am, otherwise not enough people will relate for me to get a chance to execute on my high-consciousness ideas. I may even have to hide those from the election program, because the masses just wouldn't understand.

My take is that many people were brought up with a lack of strong guidance, rules and clarity from their parents, and are craving that. So JP is a surrogate strong father figure to those who had a weak or absent dad. I know that's the case for me, it's why I like listening to him.

@ZZZZ Thank you, I clarified indeed that I'm talking from the perspective of a 1st world society. And yes I'm definitely projecting. I'm talking about some symptoms in myself, and it's very possible that I'm in a bubble of similar people, which would distort my experience.

Another example: the generation just before me (gen X? Not sure) was given the option to go to college for 10 years on full government funding. No requirements. You could stretch one bachelor's degree out over 10 years, not graduate, and not have to pay anything back. Many people lived as perpetual lazy students. Unfortunately for me, this option is gone now.

So for the past 4 days, I have been ignoring my weekly schedule. My daily scores went from 3 out of 7 or 5 out of 8, to 1 of 8, 0 out of 10. The weekly success score was 33% in week 17, and 40% last week. So, I'm doing better but still there's a huge gap between what I think I will do and what I actually do. Observations: I got overenthusiastic and put too much shit in there. 3 things a day I can handle, on a good day. Not 10. So gotta ease up. My plannings started with "1. Wake up at 7. 2) Go to gym" But I'm unfortunately still in the pattern of sleeping till 9 or 10. Which I want to fix, but right now is causing my day to start with failure before I even woke up. This kills my motivation, because it's already impossible to follow the plan. How will I do better this week: I shall take the morning stuff and getting-to-work-at-certain-time stuff off the schedule. Even though I want it really bad, it's too much for me to have it on there right now I shall limit the total list of things to do to 3 a day. No matter what. I want to become a person who does what he says. An important step towards that is to stop saying that I will do so many things. To others and to myself. This will also develop my self-trust. So I shall make my next schedule EVEN MORE minimalist. Cut until it really hurts. Metaphorically speaking.

So you don't want it bad enough. That's a problem. Also a problem I can relate to. I'm waay too comfortable in my 9 to 5. Sometimes I think I would do better if I quit my job and worked under the fear of becoming homeless, but I don't think that's wise. Rather, I think I have to invent some compelling goals that make it feel urgent, I think. I was a salesman for some time. So I have investment bias, but I would say that anyone would benefit from having that experience. I wouldn't say I had great communication skills when I started, but they were put to the test. Many beliefs and expectations about how people actually respond were shattered. I still feel like I gained invaluable understanding about customers and marketing thanks to that (shitty) job. For example, when you start out, you expect that explaining the advantages of a product to a person, will warm them up to buy. It's quite shocking to find out that that is the part that matters the least. And then it teaches you about yourself. People like to believe that they themselves make decisions based on logical information (bullshit), so they try to sell others that way. And then you wake up: FUCK, I don't even make decisions that way!!

I mean, who am I to say. If someone is that successful and able to help other people be that successful, then it kind of doesn't matter whether I think he's nuts. I have no money and he consistently creates wealth, so whatever he says on the subject that sounds crazy to me, is probably due to me having incorrect beliefs. Yeah, he's a character. I don't care for his political opinions, nor his rants about violence. But he checks some boxes that many others who speak about business don't, even MJ DeMarco: He didn't get his success by teaching how to get success. He has nothing to sell now. Rich beyond imagination and retired. Gives away his material for free He says a lot of things I don't want to hear. (there's no such thing as work-life balance if you want to succeed, you have to look professional, etc.) These things make him IMO more credible than many others, who made their money with a book on how to make money (think Kiyosaki), and selling the dream that you can get rich without sacrificing or investing a lot of time. Which people like to believe. Tai Lopez is also an example of that. He started making books and podcasts about how to get rich, in which he tells you to read lots of books and listen to lots of podcasts, all the while not being as successful as advertised, driving leased expensive cars and living in rented expensive properties. Peña tells people to stop reading so much self help, because it's a way to procrastinate, and just do shit. I find it refreshing.

I've felt much the same way. It seems nice but feels so unreal at the same time. We don't clearly see ourselves doing it, and don't know many others who live like that. And our environment discourages us. It took me 26 fucking years to admit to myself that I want to be financially independent. I don't have the self esteem for it (yet) and there's a lot of shame around wanting money. I know one thing though. If something doesn't excite you, it's not a good idea to pursue it. A traditional career doesn't excite me, although I could pull it off living quite well. The idea of being a successful entrepreneur seems impossible for me, scares me to death but it is exciting. Which means I have a chance of staying motivated. I'd rather try to do that almost impossible-seeming thing, that actually excites me, and fail all my life, than go for attainable, socially acceptable goals that bore me to death. That's where I am right now. Maybe you can relate. Don't know when, don't know how. But clarity of what you want is crucial. Read some of thefastlaneforum. I'm reading Unscripted right now. And if you have guilt about riches being a less "noble" goal than taking care of people, think of how much more you could change the world for the better if you had money, like Bill Gates is doing with his foundations. Dan Peña talks about that, I like listening to his talks.

@Zigzag Idiot Interesting thought there! I wouldn't guess sleep deprivation and cortisol are conducive to enlightenment, but what do I know really Conflicts of Interest Or: confused motivations. I'm seeing them everywhere now. Earning wages with helping people can be seen as a hidden conflict of interest. It's not that obvious, because most of the time, what you're being paid to do is what the customer needs. But what if someone you're trying to help needs something that your employer won't let you do? For example, euthanasia. A doctor is not allowed to help someone end their suffering, whether or not they agree that's the right thing. Or, for a less dark and controversial example, a doctor may not be allowed to prescribe you something you could benefit from, because it's not officially indicated. (think modafinil) Or, your symptoms are not serious enough. If this hypothetical doctor had "helping people" as his goal, that goal didn't pass the money test: actually, it's keeping your job first, then helping second. In the doctor example, the source of the conflicting motive is the employer or framework in which he operates. But the source of the conflict can also be the customer himself. Suppose you're fat and lazy and need to get your fitness back on track. You could pay someone to be your personal trainer. But if that personal trainer guy ran into a situation where the only thing that would help you is tough love, giving you what you need may cause you to dislike and fire him, and pick someone who tells you what you want to hear. So his ability to help you is sevelely limited by his number one need to have a job. This is why hedge funds structure their deals with client in such a way that their interests are aligned: if the clients' portfolio makes money, the hedge fund makes money. If the client bleeds, the hedge fund bleeds. It's the only way to stay honest, and make sure that no human faults cause the business to suffer from corruption. You express trust in a relationship by aligning the financial interests. How come hedge funds do this, but doctors don't? Well, they have in the past. The example of the Chinese village doctor comes to mind. All inhabitants pay him a monthly wage, as long as they are healthy. When they get sick, they stop paying the doctor. This way, the doctor is financially motivated to keep everyone in good health. The beautiful thing is: suddenly, it is no longer "dirty" for the doctor to be motivated by money! If the doctor wants to be rich, that is now a noble thing. To do that he has to take good care of a large number of people. Compare that to a modern psychiatrist. If he wants to be rich, many people have to have problems that don't go away, for that to happen. And he has to prescribe them lots of drugs. Preferably the ones that he gets paid the most to prescribe. It's the complete opposite. Wanting money feels dirty again. How good would it be to live in a society where the interests were aligned on every transaction, in all businesses? I bet the judgment around wanting to be rich would vanish completely. There is no longer the connotation of making money at the expense of people. If you have lots of cash, that can only mean that many people are happier or wealthier thanks to you. No more "money was invented to divide people and pit them against each other" Imagine that.

The three items for today are done. But at what cost... I smoked and drank wine again to calm myself down... Ketosis is causing me a feeling of being constantly underslept, and having to breathe consciously, otherwise it's very irregular. Overall a very stressed feeling, exacerbated by the coffee I drank to get some dopamine, trying to compensate for my short sleep. Overall pretty yuck feeling. That's not an excuse though. But I promised myself I would focus on one thing only: following my plan. I don't know how many more dances with the devil it will take, but I have faith that these bad habits will melt away. Maybe I shouldn't blame it on keto. Maybe being so focused on prioritizing and getting things done, and fantasizing about getting rich, all that is just causing me stress? I'm really not sure...

Believing in Goals versus Hedging Bets I'm becoming increasingly aware that I never truly believed that it was possible for me to start a business and have success with that. If I would truly believe it was possible, like, if I could look into the future where I've had success already, and then look back on this moment and know for sure that I would do the work, I would get there, then that changes everything. Suddenly, it's worth it to be lonely and without sex for a few years, if that's what it takes. It suddenly is worth it to not have time for the hobbies I want. I could never sacrifice before. Kept getting stuck looking to have the perfect balance of everything. Right now. I see now that this is stemming from an assumption that it is always going to be this way. From a non-belief in the desired end result. How will I ever make it if my bets are hedged so heavily? I was living a delusion that I would be able to start a business without having to compromise on short-term enjoyment. I still needed an active social life, because not seeing friends/not partying would trigger my memories of being an outcast in high school I still needed to have a very active sex life, for much the same reason: I would feel like a loser otherwise I was simultaneously wanting to have a prestigious career of some sort. Like going for fancier jobs that pay better, take more time and energy, to avoid feeling like I failed in life because I didn't finish college or whatever I was simultaneously wanting to study. Have my self esteem supported by my degree of knowledge in many subjects. I really ached to go back to college, too, but couldn't really choose between that or working (talk about first world problems, haha) I'm glad I'm untying this knot. How would I ever get anywhere, all scattered like this. Keto is back Being in or not in ketosis is not important to me anymore right now, that was a distraction. But, it's back. I can tell. I've been following my salad-and-fish diet for a few days again, and here I am. Not even sure that I like it: I'm feeling speedy, irritated and like I will never be able to sleep again. We'll see. Handling tasks 3 at a time So I've been suffering from enormous-todolist-syndrome for at least 10 years now. This is the dysfunctional cycle: Collect stuff in my head until I'm always feeling like I'm forgetting everything and totally overwhelmed Be very overwhelmed and escape in binge-watching TV while the bills pile up (this phase has taken up to a year. Prolonged if there is the distraction of a girlfriend) Finally empty my mind and make a big list Not be able to accept not getting to something, so failure to cut things and trim the list down Also not be able/willing to deprioritize anything, so unable to distinguish priority Quit working on the list, if I started at all, because it's just a huge unfiltered list of equally important things Go back to 1 Also here, I'm detecting that I never actually believed I could get stuff done from a list. I didn't believe that I could finish a list, or operate from any other paradigm than urgency and panic. So if I don't believe it, it doesn't seem worth it to try. Blatantly obvious, in hindsight. I'm seperating them out and assigning 3 of them to a specific day on my weekly schedule. This lets me not worry about the rest. And be more motivated to focus on these specific ones, and actually get them done. I really like it so far.

The fact that only a small percentage of web shops actually support PayPal as a payment option would indicate: no

@Angelo John Gage Did you even have biology in high school? Do you know what vitamins are and what that means? You're basically disregarding all science because sometimes research is contradicting and that's too complicated for you. Just...don't encourage people to harm themselves with dangerous uninformed advice like this. Please.