Joshe

I suppose for me, if I attract a woman or not, I'm fine with that, even if I wished I could have pulled one that night. I don't go home and think "man, I really gotta step my shit up because I want to be a man who gets what he wants when he wants it." For me, I either get attraction or I don't, and that's that. So that could be a factor. When I consider the cost-benefit of spending thousands of hours in trying to minimize those instances where I don't pull a girl, the reality of those instances is not so painful that I'm willing to put in the thousands of hours to minimize them. It mattered in my 20s but attraction wasn't so sparse that I needed frameworks and tactics.

I get doing all that, but there's something odd about how much energy and thought is put into it. And why would you need another guy to tell you how to charm? Charm has to be unique. It's like when I come across some porn and I hear girls making the same stupid noises over and over, thinking they're being sexy. When really, they're just copying what they think works. It's cringe af and I have to turn the video off every time I hear some girl saying "yes daddy, yea, yea, yea" It's like, STFU!!! lol It's 100x sexier for the girl to just make noises as they come to her. That's the basic idea behind what I see pickup accomplishing, if that makes sense. Don't get me wrong, it will work, but it's so tired and boring. I don't want to be posturing like every other dude because then I'm offering her the same shit every other dude is offering, which isn't much. No right or wrong here, just my opinion.

@Emerald Has your position changed any on this or are you still confident in your initial assessment?

Yeah, most likely what happened is she was planning on committing suicide after taking her kids out, but then was too chickenshit and failed at cutting her wrists, throat, and jumping out the window. There were "hesitation cuts" for both knife wounds and then when she jumped out the window, she couldn't do it and was hanging from the ledge before she dropped. I don't think she was in a temporary psychosis. She just botched her plan and for some reason never took herself out afterwards. But it's weird because if I was going to take myself out after the horrific experience of killing my kids, I'd make damn sure I didn't fail at my own suicide. Like, if I had just killed my kids, I would slit the fuck out of my wrists and throat, not just superficial cuts, and I'd jump head first out the window, lol. But people are different I guess, and maybe she couldn't bring herself to do it properly, even after having enacted something horrific. It's odd to me that the same mind that strangled three children failed to complete its own suicide. But I get it:

IDK why this is so hard to see. It seems like easily attainable knowledge. Maybe pickup is coming around to this though? I've heard Leo say something like "women aren't driven by beauty because they don't need it", or something like that. But it seems like they're still missing something, else they'd drop pickup. I think it's the chad wound.

Gold!

I love your perspective and hope to hear more from you.

After a certain point, when I saw clearly how unethical I was being with women, I just couldn't do it anymore. It took a few years to stop behaving like a selfish prick once the realization set in. Basically, I knew that women didn't just want to have sex with me and that they wanted something more. So if I knew that I didn't want to be their boyfriend, it was shady of me not to tell them that and string them along for my own satisfaction. But when you tell them you don't want to be their boyfriend, it often backfires because they often want you even more for not wanting them. So that becomes another game. So then, you have to be blunt as fuck, which basically means, as a man, you're ending your own fun. I remember the last girl I did this with. One night, I finally got up the balls to tell her and I just came out and said "You know I'm not going to be your boyfriend, right?" And she just stared at me like I was a total asshole (I was, lol), turned around and walked right out and got a cab, and I never heard from her again except when she said "it's all good dude" when I apologized to her over text. And it sucked because I did enjoy hanging out with her, and she enjoyed hanging out with me. But I knew she was expecting something I knew I didn't want. So, I had to tell her. And this isn't easy for a man to just send some good sex out the door. It's discombobulating. Like, what the fuck did I just do? lol If you're like me and truly don't want a gf because you just don't like the lifestyle/commitment, or you know with 100% certainty you don't want to be her bf, how can you just string her along and be ok with it? If you actually are looking for girls and entertaining a serious relationship, then I don't see a problem at all with sampling the market. But if you know you don't want to be with a girl seriously, you gotta let them know. And that comes at a high cost. I reframed it as a developmental challenge.

🎯

This is the shit my soul most resonates with. Something about a cello just takes me away. As soon as I hear it, I'm captured. Violin is similar but not as powerful. Probably because the bass.

One of the things I like most about music is how it takes me back to a time in my life where I was blind to many things. Making me remember the coal I've shoveled. For example, I used to listen to this when I was a teenager. And when I hear it today, it's just as good, if not better. So when I love this jam today, it's for reasons you can't tell from the song itself. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

lol. Classic.

Great song. I love some Skynrd. My favs:

That's awesome dude. You're on your way! I did some phenibut the other day and had insanely deep insights into how to be more socially likeable. I worked a lot of it out and started systematizing it, but then abandoned it because I just really don't care, lol. Your socializing is very good for an INTP. It seems totally normal, so props to that. If I were you and wanting to maximize, which you seem to want to, I would figure out how to effect any interaction in the way that you want. You can systematize affect while also being authentic. It was some deep shit that I came across and would like to share at some point. If you've never done phenibut, you can get some from nordic chems and try that out socially and see if/how that changes things. Good shit bro!

Sweet, looks interesting. You're still young and full of zest. That might not always be the case. I do like the idea of planned, minimal meetups though. That could work for me. What do you do? Just social media outreach invites? And what is the stated goal of your meetups? I could only get so far into your profile without an IG account.

I thought the same. All this fleshing out of God leads to some strange realities.

@LordFall Thanks! That's cool about helping the community. I'm too introverted for all that, but I do like helping people and it's definitely good for the soul. What exactly are you doing, if you don't mind?

"Chad wound", lol.

I've known many women in my life and they all basically operate this way. So if your manual doesn't see these viewpoints as representative, it's a bad manual. I was best friends with a couple of serial fuck-boys and it was insane how easily they got laid. Once had two hotties (or is it "baddies" these days?, lol) in the car and I already knew the 10 was going to my buddy and figured the 8 would be mine. Nope, they both wanted him. Crushing! I could have interpreted the experience as "This is unfair. Women are shallow sluts. Fuck them, and fuck guys like him". Or "Well, this motherfucker is producing an effect that I'm not producing". Notice the second interpretation allows for agency. "What do I have to do to compete? Obviously, I can't rely on my looks here." So yeah, on the whole, women are more likely to fuck guys like that, because who wouldn't go for the most attractive person if given the option? You can't allow that fact to make you resentful toward women. You are the same way. In my 2-girls 2-guys car story, everyone wanted the most attractive person, lol. That's just how it works on short horizons with little history. Both girls from my story used to called me regularly and the 8 eventually did come around and the 10 grew a little attraction toward me over time as well, which only happened after I talked to them a good bit. Luckily for us, women actually do care more about deep connection with an ordinary dude more than they do about shallow connection with Chad, even if Chad gets them easier and they're willing to put up with shallow connection for a time because he's attractive. It's an interesting idea that pickup is an attempt to be an antidote not just for getting pussy, but to deal with the emotions of not being wanted the way Chad is wanted.

When you haven’t eaten for 3 days, you desire food. If you run intensely, you will desire water. If your member gets hard, you will desire release. This means that non-acceptance or transcending desire doesn't necessarily make sense. It’s about survival, but it’s also a driving force for evolution. Also a driving force to comfort the human organism. Comfort is important. It seems the question is best asked from multiple angles. What is the evolutionary function? What is it phenomenologically? What does it produce individually? Is there really a difference in the desire to eat when you’re hungry vs a desire to accomplish some goal, aside from your stomach growling? IME, they seem like the same thing. The mind identifies something it wants and fixates on it. It’s hungry for something. The only reason to transcend the hunger is if you don’t want what it will produce. Spiritual people don’t say a desire for God is bad, because God is what they want. Don't let spiritual people gaslight you that all desires except for spiritual desire are pathological or should be transcended. Desires for non-immediate physical survival are preferences you can drop or maintain, depending on what is best for you, and the extent to which you can set them aside.

It’s a preference that AO treats like the one cosmic mission. Some prefer a cosmic mission. After years of spiritual work, meditation, inquiry, and putting in the “work”, and we experience the so called fruits and are just like “so what?”, and we struggle to see why that way of living is better, it’s because we have a different preference. And of course AO will gaslight you for having a different preference, because it is blind to the nuance of its own trait psychology. “You don’t want what AO wants? You’re a fool.” That message is implied all over the place. “This work is the ultimate thing a human could do.” = a preference dressed up as the one universal goal any intelligent human would pursue. AO doesn’t understand it’s own trait psychology and preferences that stem from them. Which is a bit interesting given how it likes to understand everything. The machine never probed itself with the same depth and intensity it applies to everything else.

Please, do tell!

@Leo Gura what is being done to improve the quality of this community? Imagine if you had 20 great posters (you've currently got like 4). A lot of people are looking for higher quality engagement.