Joshe

Ain't no pussy like new pussy

swing dick like no other, 😂

Saying a guy is responsible for what he knowingly does to someone isn't a hero complex. It's just pointing out the obvious. If anyone thinks the guy in my story was justified in continuing to use this girl for sex for 2 years, all the while knowing what she wanted, and all the while knowing he was never going to give it to her, you've got some work to do. Or I guess because she didn't have her shit together, that makes her fair game and him the adult.

Haha. I was just thinking "this pattern exists everywhere, you can even observe it in TV shows and movies". Like, it's not something hidden. The nature of women is right there!

I think it's basically what @Apparition of Jack said, with an addition. She was living in a hell and wanted out, and had some strange belief that her kids should go with her, then was successful at taking the kids out but not herself, then woke up traumatized in a whole new world that wasn't her typical hellhole, and had to come up with some reasonable thing she could believe to be true, so she deceived herself that that's actually what happened. Just think about what the first 2-4 weeks would have been like afterwards. The average human mind in that situation would be so malleable/suggestible that it could buy any culturally acceptable story. I'd wager she was actually largely talked into believing it from those around her trying to make sense of it, while sympathizing with her.

Lol, that's an interesting interpretation. See where others have already labored to articulate how the ego justifies it's bullshit in this domain.

perfect analogy

Yeah, I've seen that a lot as well. This one girl was head over hills for one of my friends and she kept having sex with him anytime he'd call, which was once or twice a month. She acted like she wasn't interested in a relationship because she didn't want to scare him off. Of course, she got tired of him calling just to come have sex, leave, and ignore her the rest of the time. So when she finally started complaining about it, my buddy would tell her "I don't want a relationship and if you don't want to have sex, then I won't call you anymore". So she continued having "casual" sex with him and he thought he was in the clear because he stated his intentions. And he told himself that if her feelings got fucked, it's not on him. Exactly. It's rarely an emotionally detached transaction like it often is with guys. If she keeps coming back to have sex, unless she's a nympho or something, she wants something more from you, or is seeing if there's anything worth pursuing, and you're bullshitting yourself with all this talk of clearly stated boundaries and healthy casual sex.

To me, what seems like casual sex with no strings attached is mostly an unconscious evaluation phase to see if you're someone worth pursuing. And when they figure you don't make the cut, they "casually" part with "I wasn't looking for anything serious, it was just casual fun, no hard feelings". To me, it's a weird idea for two people to be mutually attracted, repeatedly have sex, spend time together, joke around, become comfortable with each other, anticipate seeing each other multiple times, and that just remains "casual". Strong immediate sexual attraction + little further interest → one-night stand / brief fling. Sexual attraction + continued interest, but discovers disqualifying characteristics → casual arrangement may persist, but he's effectively excluded from the serious-partner category. Sexual attraction + continued positive discoveries → increasing intimacy and attachment → relationship becomes increasingly desirable. So, if it truly is just casual sex for her, then FWB is basically: "I like having sex with you, but I've already determined that you aren't my ideal"

Not quite full-circle but getting close. I don't need full and total control over reality. Not because I'm "passive", but because I'm not neurotic about controlling reality. Here's something to consider far into the future: right now, you're operating on an unconscious script that is driving you. When you accomplish your goals, you will realize they will not do for you what you're telling yourself they will. Then you will realize the purpose of the script, and will relinquish the reins on reality. In the meantime, don't assume your approach is superior, because you might find out otherwise.

Oh yeah, I totally see the importance of it if you're out in the world actually trying to herd people toward a cause. But that's the main reason I don't do that. Because it necessitates being in environments and around people I dislike. I can find other ways to be impactful, around the types of people I actually like. I don't necessarily want high quality connections, but I enjoy them when they happen. I'm not chasing after them, the same way I'm not chasing after women. If it happens, it happens. I don't want to prove anything to the world at large.

😂 Fuckin great!

@LordFall I gotcha. That makes sense if that's how you prefer to live. I myself don't enjoy seeing people based on their value to me. Not that there's anything wrong at all with wanting to cultivate a high-value network. I just don't get into it. I can spot a transactional motherfucker from a mile away and I get that "ick". I like connection as an end in itself. Maybe there's a bit of naivety in that sentiment regarding worldly success, but it's just my natural preference. Always has been.

Yeah, that's worth thinking about: toxic fuel is better than no fuel, lol.

I think you could have gotten the same thing without pickup. I slept with over 50 women and have had around 10 girlfriends, IIRC. I stopped playing the game because it was no longer worth it. I could be out here getting a girl a week if I wanted, but I don't wanna live that life because I've already done it and the thrill is gone. I've had sex probably 5k times. That tends to burn the candle out, lol. At least for me. So, if you're implying I'm speaking from scarcity, it's not the case. Your dick would get hard looking at the trophy collection I deleted years ago, lol.

I suppose for me, if I attract a woman or not, I'm fine with that, even if I wished I could have pulled one that night. I don't go home and think "man, I really gotta step my shit up because I want to be a man who gets what he wants when he wants it." For me, I either get attraction or I don't, and that's that. So that could be a factor. When I consider the cost-benefit of spending thousands of hours in trying to minimize those instances where I don't pull a girl, the reality of those instances is not so painful that I'm willing to put in the thousands of hours to minimize them. It mattered in my 20s but attraction wasn't so sparse that I needed frameworks and tactics.

I get doing all that, but there's something odd about how much energy and thought is put into it. And why would you need another guy to tell you how to charm? Charm has to be unique. It's like when I come across some porn and I hear girls making the same stupid noises over and over, thinking they're being sexy. When really, they're just copying what they think works. It's cringe af and I have to turn the video off every time I hear some girl saying "yes daddy, yea, yea, yea" It's like, STFU!!! lol It's 100x sexier for the girl to just make noises as they come to her. That's the basic idea behind what I see pickup accomplishing, if that makes sense. Don't get me wrong, it will work, but it's so tired and boring. I don't want to be posturing like every other dude because then I'm offering her the same shit every other dude is offering, which isn't much. No right or wrong here, just my opinion.

@Emerald Has your position changed any on this or are you still confident in your initial assessment?

Yeah, most likely what happened is she was planning on committing suicide after taking her kids out, but then was too chickenshit and failed at cutting her wrists, throat, and jumping out the window. There were "hesitation cuts" for both knife wounds and then when she jumped out the window, she couldn't do it and was hanging from the ledge before she dropped. I don't think she was in a temporary psychosis. She just botched her plan and for some reason never took herself out afterwards. But it's weird because if I was going to take myself out after the horrific experience of killing my kids, I'd make damn sure I didn't fail at my own suicide. Like, if I had just killed my kids, I would slit the fuck out of my wrists and throat, not just superficial cuts, and I'd jump head first out the window, lol. But people are different I guess, and maybe she couldn't bring herself to do it properly, even after having enacted something horrific. It's odd to me that the same mind that strangled three children failed to complete its own suicide. But I get it:

IDK why this is so hard to see. It seems like easily attainable knowledge. Maybe pickup is coming around to this though? I've heard Leo say something like "women aren't driven by beauty because they don't need it", or something like that. But it seems like they're still missing something, else they'd drop pickup. I think it's the chad wound.

Gold!

I love your perspective and hope to hear more from you.

After a certain point, when I saw clearly how unethical I was being with women, I just couldn't do it anymore. It took a few years to stop behaving like a selfish prick once the realization set in. Basically, I knew that women didn't just want to have sex with me and that they wanted something more. So if I knew that I didn't want to be their boyfriend, it was shady of me not to tell them that and string them along for my own satisfaction. But when you tell them you don't want to be their boyfriend, it often backfires because they often want you even more for not wanting them. So that becomes another game. So then, you have to be blunt as fuck, which basically means, as a man, you're ending your own fun. I remember the last girl I did this with. One night, I finally got up the balls to tell her and I just came out and said "You know I'm not going to be your boyfriend, right?" And she just stared at me like I was a total asshole (I was, lol), turned around and walked right out and got a cab, and I never heard from her again except when she said "it's all good dude" when I apologized to her over text. And it sucked because I did enjoy hanging out with her, and she enjoyed hanging out with me. But I knew she was expecting something I knew I didn't want. So, I had to tell her. And this isn't easy for a man to just send some good sex out the door. It's discombobulating. Like, what the fuck did I just do? lol If you're like me and truly don't want a gf because you just don't like the lifestyle/commitment, or you know with 100% certainty you don't want to be her bf, how can you just string her along and be ok with it? If you actually are looking for girls and entertaining a serious relationship, then I don't see a problem at all with sampling the market. But if you know you don't want to be with a girl seriously, you gotta let them know. And that comes at a high cost. I reframed it as a developmental challenge.

🎯

This is the shit my soul most resonates with. Something about a cello just takes me away. As soon as I hear it, I'm captured. Violin is similar but not as powerful. Probably because the bass.