Akemrelax

@Emerald Do you have advice on focus or concentration work? I really suck at that.

Leo has sex with people. That's someone giving him value. And you have no idea about stage green relationships. Relationships can have tremendous value. If you don't need friends that's great, no one care's dude. You might as well give up all worldly desires. What you're saying is so one dimensional, it lacks nuance even if it's true. I am pointing out traps here, there is no need to feel personally attacked. Why are you even arguing with me? Take your own advice, I can't give you anything of value. You clearly haven't transcended the need to start arguments on the forum. Alright, Imma stop now. I said everything I had to, can't argue with Thestarguitarist14 stuck one point.

@7thLetter I did not attack you. I was generally making a point. Lonely people don't admit that they're lonely, just as depressed people don't always admit they're depressed. On the contrary, they'll get angry and start attacking others for being weak for having friends. Transcending your need to socialize is a tall claim, I don't buy it if they're ranting and arguing about it on the forum (don't mean you) or claiming they're alone cause everyone sucks. That's not something someone who transcended their needs would do. They might be using the internet or the forum as a coping mechanism for loneliness. Again, this is just my opinion. I don't mean you or anyone in particular, I think keeping these points in mind can be helpful when talking about this topic. Whether or not "you" are lonely or not can only be decided by you, and frankly it's irrelevant to the discussion. A person may be using their isolation as a way to escape from society. In this case, counter-intuitively, they have a need for isolation. A person who has transcended their needs would be comfortable with people and in isolation. Depression can have multiple causes. Making friends can help people get out of depression for sure, that's basically how they get hikikomori's out of their bedrooms in some documentaries, they hire people to be their friends. There is point about being needy in friendships that needs to addressed, but you can still have friends without being needy. Regardless of whether you "need" friends, IMO you will miss out on some experiences if you chose no to have them and IMO it can be a strategic blunder in the long run. This is a good video on loneliness, it has some links to academic studies as well like this one. This is good too.

@Eph75 Yes, you summarized my point well. We have to be nuanced here, it’s not a binary either/or. In addition to that, not making any friends is not a strategically wise decision. It’s short sighted and bad advice. Are we really going to tell high school and college students to not make friends? Regardless of whether they “need” them or not, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity. That’s a huge part of learning and growing, you’ll never have those experiences again. What if this “I don’t need friends” attitude is a one time thing? What if you regret it later? What about when you get old? Are you overestimating your abilities? People who say they don’t need friends might end up like the guy who goes to Himalayas to meditate but dies two days later. We need to think strategical about these things, it can easily become a massive blunder. I would add that this attitude of “I don’t need anybody, other people are a waste of time, and I only have transactional, business relations” is stage orange attitude. Stage orange does not know any other relationships other than transactional ones. There’s nothing wrong with these relationships but there are much more fulfilling relationships out there. Stage orange wants to be independent, but really they’re being arrogant and don’t know what they’re missing. Also, we don’t need to deny our humanity to be spiritual. I think most self actualizers want a life filled with a variety of experiences, success, and quality relations. Letting go of everything is not for everyone, people want to enjoy their material existence while it lasts.

Yes, and the same can be said for people who say they don’t need friends. If you want to live like a monk with no friends, then live like a monk. Don’t rant about how you don’t need friends cause everyone is a jerk and you’re superior. That just shows how you haven’t transcended your need. If you go and ask depressed, isolated people, they won’t tell you that they’re lonely, they’ll tell you how they don’t need friends, how they’re so independent. It’s the same with how people addicted to video games say they don’t need to go out and work, they have transcended their materialistic desires. But they’re getting their fix from things like video games. They haven’t transcended their needs, that’s bullshit, they don’t even have the self awareness to realize they have a need, that they would be more balanced having friends. That’s the trap I was pointing out, make sure you’re not bullshitting yourself about transcending your needs for stuff like sex, money, friends, community, whatever. Have enough self-awareness to know if you’re being a monk or a frucking depressed dude with addictions.

You say that while simultaneously saying success is more valuable to you then human relations. Guess what, a truly developed person wouldn't seek success. A truly developed person wouldn't even have the need to use the internet. I already told you I value friendships for friendships' sake and I also listed some material gains I got since you asked me to. Every time I write something you're just not able to understand it so there's no point in communicating further. Wait what? You interpreted that literally as "no friends = financial poverty"? Lol Wait, you work in Hollywood, I think it's starting to make sense why you don't like friends. Hahaha

Do you consider eastern traditions like Yoga to be above science since they are at least concerned with sharpening one's ability to perceive (raise consciousness/connection to infinite intelligence)? Contrast that with today's scientist, who want to improve reasoning, memory, and rationality. We know that these things are highly limited. They see no value in the ability to feel emotions deeply, serendipity, awareness, or any other such faculty, but some of these eastern traditions do.

You don't know the value of human relations? Don't you know of such a time when you have enjoyed a friend's company? Sure there were bad experiences, but these can be more fulfilling than success. The biggest thing for me is having a connection with another person. Talking to them, understanding and sharing each other's experiences. Laughing and joking with them. Being part of a group of friends is itself rewarding. Other than that, I have cherished memories of spending time with friends. I played sports with my friends. My friends have helped me in doing school work. I have done projects with them that would have taken me hours if I chose to do them alone. They've helped me by lending me their stuff for free and giving me advice and information that would have taken me a long time to acquire. Having friends in your workplace just makes those interactions a lot more smoother, as opposed to if they were just my colleagues. My friends are not necessarily spiritual people, I just enjoy friendship itself. And if we include family with friends then they have helped so much I couldn't even tell you. Just the love and support. I wouldn't be where I am without my family and friends. My parents' friends have helped us so many times it's hard to remember all the moments, wouldn't be here without them either. The point is not what I have gotten out of my friends, the point is why don't you see the intrinsic beauty in friendship? Human being are social creatures, we are designed to feel good when we are together. Society is based upon love between humans. You don't feel love and connection? Maybe you're stuck in stage orange. Notice the framing of the question, "what have you gotten out of your current friends?", as if they are suppose to pump out coins. You work in Hollywood, so your life purpose must be to entertain people or to enrich their lives. Isn't it weird that you don't want to be friends with the same people you want to help/touch with your work? You have such low opinion of them... you call them "jerks", why even produce art for them? They didn't make friends! Lol I mean, you can go through life living in poverty like those monks. Also, how do you know having friends wouldn't have helped them? What about all the people who got somewhere in part because of their friends? @Arcangeloabove literally said his friend saved his life. Lol

Most people are way more fucked up in their personal lives. It's usually double or triple the amount of fuckedupness from their public persona. It can be good know. Like if someone shows mild signs of depression in public, chances are that person is a lot more depressed in real life.

All your points are based on a strawman. I said you won't just miss work opportunities, but of course you missed that part. But of course you will miss work opportunities too. According to you, me saying, friends can help you = being lazy. Go read my posts again. I said most people need friends and even if you don't need friends they can be incredibly useful and amazing to have, not to mention if you chose not to have them it can be incredibly hard, if not impossible, to have them later in life.

This is an important topic for guys. I think you just have to accept it and not fixate upon it. You just have to accept the fact that women don't like short men. It sounds harsh but it is the truth and the only way to deal with it is to make yourself better in other domains. Wallowing over it won't help, getting negative over it won't help. (The feminists' will never talk about it. So much for gender equality... Sorry I couldn't help myself.) Life is unfair, and you have to learn how to deal with unfairness. Having perspective helps, know that there are people much shorter than you, people living in much worse conditions than you, and people much more unattractive then you for no fault of their own.

I use to go for 40 minute jogs, but then my IT band started hurting. It turns out I need to have stronger glute muscles and stronger muscles overall so I am trying to focus on that. Some people say jogging is bad, it takes a toll on your joints, but personally I love the feeling.

No! Are you kidding, your stance is the short sighted and arrogant one. What your saying won't work for majority of the people, and doesn't take into account all the missed opportunities that will come your way if you chose not to have friends, not just work opportunities mind you. Strawman. That's one ridiculous strawman. If you don't need to have friends, I don't care man. Just don't be surprise when you miss opportunities or want company when you get old but there is no one around. That's why you got to be strategic about how to make the right kind of friends. There is a small window of opportunity, after that meeting people and making friends becomes extremely hard.

Joe Rogan is not being responsible here. Introducing his audience to Alex Jones is a bad idea. He might as well sit with KKK members at this point.

Most of the time you need a reference to get a job, to even start working. You need to make friends in your workplace if you want to use them to advance your career, a non-friend might not help you. Of course, you need to balance individual work and socializing, but if others have friends they would spend their time and energy helping them and not you who is not a friend. If you are at the extremities of your career, you would need to talk to people from other departments to combine ideas and get inspiration, the best way to do that is by making friends. Outside of work, friends can provide you with new ideas, new opportunities, and inspiration. If you want to find a date, friends can be useful, if you want to know about things without spending hours Googling them, friends can help. If you want to live and work in the material world, have big dreams (not a boring job), then having at least some friends can be very beneficial. If you don't want to participate in the material world and your life purpose is to be like a monk, then that's a fine. It's a valid way to pursue enlightenment. However, make sure it's clear to you that you are pursuing your life purpose and not just wasting your time. Make sure you have planned ahead about the possibility that maybe in the future you may have a desire to have a robust social life and that your current actions will make it harder for you to make friends in the future. Make sure you have enough self-awareness to know if this is what you really want and know what you are missing.

This is not a science question per se. It's a practical question. You said one is not capable of knowing if witchcraft is a valid way of gaining knowledge unless you study it deeply, but same can be said about phrenology or any other "pseudoscience" (racist or otherwise). So how would one determine if these methods of knowing are correct, given that one has limited time and energy, and your high standard for trying to understand these methods? Would you allow discussions about phrenology just as you allow users to post about astrology? After all, we don't really know if the structure of the skull can determine one's personality, just as we don't know if the month of birth can determine one's personality. If you say we can rely on the experience of people who have gone into these things, then maybe scientists in the past have tried things like witchcraft and have discovered it's not a valid method. Not to mention there can be conflicting opinions, so do we just take the average of these opinions? Not to mention it what someone else tells can never be trusted.

People can be friends without having similar interests. In fact this is a good skill to have, try to make friends with people you disagree with, it can open your mind to different worldviews, it also makes you a better communicator. Having friends is important for your mental health, your need for social approval and respect. Having a network of friends also helps you financially and in your work and career. Please don't ignore Maslow's hierarchy! The strategy of not having friends is so naïve. It's a horrible long-term strategy. People overestimate how much they have overcome their needs, when in reality they haven't. Even if you don't need friends for emotional reasons, they are necessary for work and career. When you are young you think you don't need any friends, you can do it all alone, but the misery drips on your brain overtime (using Leo's imagery). Then after some years, you are a bitter person not knowing why.

That's your response when someone criticizes the left or feminism.

Changes I would like: All the featured threads should be pinned to make them easy to access. A stricter policy or ban on non-scientific/occult/pseudoscientific topics. If conspiracy theories are banned, and users who deny enlightenment or promote that reality is not love are not allowed, then this is not a far fetched idea. A stricter policy on such topics may promote a more grounded discussion, discourage wild speculations and claims, and save gullible people from going down belief systems. Besides, many for these topics are not about self-improvement or spirituality.

@ivory I completely agree with you. I know a lot of people will be anger at me for saying this, but many people on the forum seem to be dysfunctional. That is because spirituality attracts dysfunctional people who want to solve their dysfunctions. Counterintuitively, it is better to take the slow road and build a functional life for yourself before you get into spirituality. Dysfunction + spirituality = disaster. People can use spirituality to escape real world problems, ignore dysfunctions or to justify their laziness. This type of thing usually happens when you take Leo too seriously. I know I make that mistake without knowing it. We have to realize the truth in the principal of not believing in authority. Ultimately what you know matters, arguing and convincing people will not get you any closer to truth. You are the ultimate judge. You will never get the truth by listening, convincing, or arguing with someone. Noticing if you are exerting emotional labour can be a great indicator of whether you are on the right path. Emotional labour is what you feel when you are trying to meditate and resisting temptations. Dangers of spiritual work was a good video that talked about this trap. You need to have enough self-awareness to make sure spirituality is right for you and that you’re not using the forum or the videos as an escape.

Was Rumi blue then?

@Leo Gura Nah man! I wouldn’t flirt with a girl so much younger than me, and doesn’t he have a relationship already? He was getting too close, he was getting touchy. He went in her bedroom and asked for her number and address, that’s a dead give away. He was trying to get laid. It’s completely unprofessional for a politician to do that. The guy’s a pervert. The guy’s a cheat. I would not want an unrestrained horn dog to represent me. That’s a great use of free speech, expose these Christian family guys.

Many of my friends are very close to being that and are very weird. I could never imagine some of them having girlfriends. Even among hikikomori they are mostly men. 80/20 ratio. I use to think girls had no problem with dating then I thought about all the girls I thought were average and below average. The ones I wouldn’t date, the ones who get ignored and don’t get approached. Then I realized both genders have this problem. But most men IMO are non-serious jerks in early 20s, girls seem more mature That means you’re good to go. You will figure it out. I am more worried about girls who don’t get approached at all.

I mean the ones who are unable to make any friends when they leave high school. Hikikomori, extreme introverts, anti-social, whatever you wanna call them. It’s just been my experience, yours might be different