Giulio Bevilacqua

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Everything posted by Giulio Bevilacqua

  1. Hi evryone. I've put my self in a hard situation 😅. I'm in a long relationship 4 and half years now . In this period I've met a girl during a theatre project where some silent interest has grown between us . Last day me,she and other people spent the night together. The day after every body has left except me and she . She brought me to the train station. We where talking and in the meaning time I've lost the train so we decided to go to a park and talk . We have openly talked about our interest and attraction ,she is also in a relationship. After out talk she brought me to the station and during the way to the train she asked me if she could give me her hand . I was literally confused but I did it and it was beautiful . The days after we texted us a bit. Now I do not know how to move forward , I've my girlfriend on one side. I would be open to leave her to experience and learn about this things, I'm excited . But on the one side I do not wich actions should I take with the new girl, she is also confused like me . Should I continue to text her ? Or stay silent and wait to see her again to talk about our situation ? Sorry for the long message. Thank you
  2. I'm confused if it is just an ego game
  3. Thanks man
  4. Hi everyone. I've done a list of life areas in which I would like to work as a life purpose . I'm very felxible in many areas and have a very little sense of discrimination towards different things . So the problem is choosing . If I choose something I refuse to let go the other options . My list consists of : Tai Chi , Drums and percussions, and University . I'm wondering if it is really necessary to choose one thing . Maybe one can start doing those things together and in the future see what to prevail the most . What are your ideas? . Thank you very much
  5. Yes you are right, it's like the phisical death you can not avoid it.
  6. Hi everyone. I've noticed that i often find my self in a limbo of fear to hurt someone psychologically with my decisions. I do not have the courage to go foward , i stay stuck with fear to hurt. I've also thought that the fear to hurt someone is basically the fear that i will suffer making a particular decision. What can you tell me about this mechanism? And what do you think is the correlation between this and the EGO ? Thank you very much . Sorry for my English . Blessings.
  7. I'm doing it but nothing changes that much
  8. Thank you all . Many blessings . So warm answers form you. Thank you
  9. @Keyhole Yes could probably be . Be it is more with important decisions like ending a relationship and so on
  10. How was it in your childhood ?
  11. Yes sometimes it is just a question of time and patience . Thank you for your attention
  12. I've reached a point of total confusion, I really don't know what to do in my life. All this spirituality has brought a lot of confusion. At the moment nothing matters, only my inner journey. I have to come to make a decision about how to move forward . At the moment I do not have a social occupation I often have this idea to leave everything and live somewhere in nature or in a monastery, but I also doubt this . I do not have more this feeling where I can say "this is what I must do now" everything looks flat, empty without colours . I told my parents that in September I would start a Percussion Music school, I have great skills in it, but I feel it is a forced decision, only just to do something and try to see how the situation would change. If I where alone without parents, I would know what to do, just trusting this not knowing and wait what happens . It's a total block. The spiritual journey is going quite good , I feel lot of moments where I'm totally empty, maybe this creates some turmoil in the external life. Is this a normal phase and will pass ? Have you had similar experiences ? Thank you very much. Sorry for my English
  13. I feel to do nothing and wait , but this feeling is in me quite long .
  14. Yes , the situation is temporary, that makes me feel more grounded. My spiritual journey consist in witnessing, it has done a lot . Also doing nothing technique. I have taken lot of things from osho, sadhguru and eckhart tolle . I feel lost because I can not feel what I have to do , it"s a not knowing , not knowing what action to take , everything that comes in my mind is forced just to escape the confusion. The areas in which I would like to step in are Tai chi, Yoga in India in sadhgurus ashram and music. I have a band, but it is very ego oriented, so I do not even know if I have to leave them . My main occupation in this time is spirituality, and this brought to a huge lack of interest in external things.
  15. Hi everyone. If enlightenment is your life purpose, what do you do with the "material" "external" activities ? Does it mean you have to live in an ashram or in so called spiritual places? Can you persue enlightenment and at the same time becoming a great musician or businessman ? Eckhart tolle has a view about this. There is a internal purpose (enlightenment,presence) and a second purpose that is your material aspect. What do you think ? Thank you
  16. Hi everyone . Now it's quite long that I'm stuck in this situation . I'm struggling with the idea that I would like to do more things contemporary , but at the same time I've heard many people saying that it is better to follow one path . I would like to go to university and study a subject just for knowing and enjoyment, not for career and so on . At the same time I invest lot of time in practices like tai chi, yoga , different kinds of meditations and in playing drums. I've heard lot of people that can handle different activities . But is it worth ? Maybe one can arrange them into one path, and make one thing out of all those . My fear is also that if I choose one thing I have to give up the others . Sorry for the English . Have you any tips ? Thank very much .
  17. Could someone explain me what is Karma Yoga about ? I've read something but I didn't understand It well . Thank you !
  18. Hi everyone . I'm experiencing doubts about my relationship . I'm in a relationship for 4 and half years . In these days I've know a girl during a theatre project that i' m working on . There is a strong connection,attraction between us, and I have a big pull to speak with her and spend some time together. So what to do ? In my actual relationship I don't have strong emotions towards her, and also with physical contact sometimes I get a little bit contract . I've often tohught to break up , but I think deep down there is a fear to hurt her . She is very fragile , I feel more to be a brother to her. But there are moments where i"m relaxed and not too judgentmental , i feel very good with her . Sadhguru says that there is not best person to live with , it's only involvement My mind is getting very confused. In a bigger view I think that you can live happily without discrimination and judgment with everyone , so there is no best decision . Is this only a trick of the mind ?
  19. No at the beginning I was a bit skeptical . I didn't have a strong emotion , but I decided to go with her . After some months I had big crisis , with big doubts , maybe because It was my first relationship . I didn't felt the beginning" emotional storm". There was always this fear to hurt her in thinking about a break up
  20. Hi everyone, I feel very embarrassed writing about my actual inner problems because they are really absurd and foolish , but in the last time they really took possession over me , so I try to write about it. I think they concern excessive perfectionism and mind categorization about everything . I can not enjoy the simplest things in the last time . I always want all the cake and never a portion. I explain better with examples. If I read a book about nutrion or nature (or any possible field) I get irritated because I want to know everything about the subject, I want a degree in it , I want a profession with it . My mind says " you are not a professor of botanic or nutrition do not read this " My mind want to maximise everything. Or a walk in nature watching flowers " you are not a student of botanic so do not watch them" A philospical discussion " you are not a philosopher you don't study philosophy so do not discuss" Listening to music " your life career is not concerned with music so why listen to it " Or meditation " you are not a meditation teacher you can't meditate " I can not study or read something for my self, I want always everything about it ,I'm not content with a portion . I do a thai chi course but I feel frustrated because I want to a have a super professional school where they teach all about it . This mechanism is invading a lot of things , also coocking. I do not know what to do . I know it is crazy and stupid Sorry for the English
  21. Hi , i'm experiencing strong head preassures . I'ts like a bubble that is expanding inside the center of my brain and sometimes between the end of the spine and the brain . It is not hurting , but sometimes it gets very uncomfortable . Have you experienced something like this ? Has it to do with chakras ? Thank you very much
  22. Hi everyone. When I practice self enquiry I come to a feeling/sensation of "i" that I indentify with, but that also can be seen . I think it's the I thought that Ramana Maharshi spoke about. It so a subtle feeling like a little energetic cloud very small that appears on the field of awareness . What is that ? Because it has no content like a thought. It's strange . Do you know what I'm speaking about ?
  23. @Rilles diaphragm throat and head. I can't understand it . Its too strange No it is not the Watcher . It's a little energy wave that refers to be the i . I can observe it so I can not be that
  24. No it is not the Watcher . It's a little energy wave that refers to be the i . I can observe it so I can not be that