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And around and around it goes, I hear ya, and I think you hear me, so lets leave it at that....

Do you not see the irony and hypocritical nature of your own post? Lol let Leo be Leo, let nature be nature, let God be God. Celebrate his place and yours. Let life run its course with or without your interpretations, speak as you may and let Leo be....

Just a simple video on something a lot of us thinkers and perfectionists go through. If you have a hard time seeing this in a way that is compatible with being "God", then understand as "God" operating like so can cause more disease then is necessary.

Don’t be so narrow minded and judgemental. By your own standards highest acknowledgment of truth and seekings, you sound kinda shallow and short sighted. Much love hahaha. Remember you didn’t relate to rich people. You related to the one and only Self.

You may enjoy a couple of video's I made that are in tangent with this question you ask and may provide some fundamental answers about reality and thus this question. If you have any questions, or objections, please bring them up, its useful for stuff like this and understanding Truth and yourself.

Haha, I can totally sympathize. I don't think there is a sure shot one way to fix this. You may have to try a bunch of different approaches throughout your life. I've been going through my own version of this at the moment and have encountered it before. Sometimes you just gotta be with it, and let it be there, like a person on the street shouting at you as you walk by. You can't make them stop shouting, but you can accept and not judge and not blame and not shame and not hate and lash back, or at least try to. Meditation can sometimes help train this tool of being able to let things pass on their own without judgement or let them be there while your attention remains on your breath or something else other then the voice or emotion in your head/body.

You sound like an intelligent person with a sound mind and open enough perspective to see into the subtleties going on there. It actually sounds like a interesting place to work, and I'd wager its probably a good place for some of the people there, maybe it even turned some of their lives around, gave them a goal and some discipline. No one here can ultimately tell you if its a cult and if you should be there. If its working on some level for you, keep going, and keep questioning. When you feel its empty of anything for you or goes against you in some fundamental level, move on. Till then, keep exploring and growing from it. Not all lifes adventures and experiences are pleasant, this doesn't make it any less worthwhile or usefull. It may provide something you seek on some level and will learn from.

I'll give a little different of an answer. All there is is a mysterious Existingness, which never came from somewhere, has always been. This Existingness is literally this conversation. It appears to be able to understand concepts of past, present, future, and now.... right? If you don't understand, then it appears to also be able to not understand, but it also Knows this as well...right? But again, your still probably wondering if past is real and leads linearly in a connected fashion, like cause and effect to a future, and yes it appears that way, but it also doesn't appear this way as well, but again all of this is Existingness/God.

But there is also ultimately no "self" for self-bias... Love, chaos, discomfort, peace, bliss are all aspects of the journey that God is and has been and remains as, but again these are just good approximation words to point to suchness...... Perfect, imperfect? Well.......

Hope everyone is doing well. Here is something I thought some of you might find beneficial in your own journeys, since its a knot or confusion that can arise in this journey, especially for the thinker types like myself.

How are you convinced of things being this negative way if there is no free will or someone in control or there to do so? Not to say that there is not something truthful at the root of your understanding, but look into my question and see your seeing it all with negative glasses that are not the whole picture. Is the birth of a child a negative event if the mother goes through pain in the process? Is a flower sprouting a horrid event because it may die or be eaten at one point? Are video games horrible because you there is a chance of getting electrocuted picking up the controller one day? Are blow jobs unenjoyable because you might die 20 years down the road? Are waterslides evil because there's a chance a person can die on one? Is life horrible because stars explode and aliens that you never met die? Is your life horrible and stuck because your feeling and thinking certain things atm and what appear to be most moments..... It could be different in the next second..... You ready? Or stuck on a belief its going to continue?

Ya I think that is a healthy space to be. But there is also a paradoxical realization that it is Perfect in so called imperfection which can defiantly shift and orient things internally as well.

Ya felt the same, he's even said a lot of strange stuff in my eyes about fun and happiness, they are like super low on his scale of importance. But I do like his lessons on overcoming. Sometimes you do gotta dig deep into darkness to overcome current moment situations, and its not pretty, no matter your "high good intention" views or "lower conscious no matter what you must overcome" view.

Thats an interesting take on Davids motivations, I could see that. I know when I listened to him, I felt something similar, he just seemed to hate that other part of himself so much that he would never let it get the better of him. But I could see it being both fear and hate intertwined in some sorta unique way to him.

I think you should read his post again, there is a lot more meat in that then I think you got out of it. Now don't get me wrong, if I want to build a house I'm going to go to a builder, plumbing a plumber, electrical work an electrician, that said, I think you need to consider some things when you ask about objectivity and "science". You think thats air your breathing Neo, think again. Lets go down a rabbit hole..... Is there a consensus of what objective or science even is? Now if you can even get close to answering this, it may start to occur at some point that there is no consensus even among humans what any given words mean, but lets say you can nail down objective, and science. Do these line up "objectively" to anything "objective" lol, perhaps the consensus and the agreed upon what your talking about isn't even real, but you've come up with all these sciences and measurements proving something that doesn't even prove what you think it does. It may, feel and seem like it makes sense to all those involved, but does it even equate to Reality. Now lets say you do determine objective things by the was your using the word. Now what, there is data, but what does it mean? Sky blue. Apples drop. Fire burns. Birds fly. What is this data without making anything out of it, or about it? Or another way to say it is, without being consciousness of data and meaning made out of it, what exactly is it? Do you see the subtly here and how it ties to a question about "objectivity"? What if consciousness of such data and the meaning that is drawn from it isn't consistent or even personally controlled? And if so, what would objectivity or even data even mean, especially if its just a universal mind unfolding and being? I want a little of everywhere, feel free to ask me more specifically what I mean if your not following.

Perhaps contemplate "what is language without awareness/experience/beingness". It may reveal some of your inner dualistic notions of what "You" are and thus what anything is. Could there be "language" without the latter?

For what ever reason I feel like sharing this story, perhaps you all will find it fascinating. Of course it will be met with a lot of "its probably your mind playing tricks on you", which I totally understand, but it is what it is. So anyways, if you've seen the movie Yesterday, its about a man who has an accident and wakes up, but at some point during the movie learns that the Beatles don't actually exist in the world he woke up to, even though everything else is the same. I remember when I saw this movie I was like wow, cool, perhaps thats possible, but didn't think much of it after that. Well, during the pandemic, I was walking with my wife and I was like, oh we should watch Tank Girl, since we had been talking about Gwen Stefani, and wanted to show her something Gwen acted in when she was younger. Problem was, GWEN STEFANI IS NOT IN THE MOVIE when I went back to watch it. Now probably a lot of you haven't seen the movie before, and those of you who have, are like, ya, she's not in the movie, but my whole life its been one of those random memories that I've kept track of and thought of off on and on enough, since it really stood out to me when she did it. I remember when the movie was about to come out, and people where talking about it on the radio about how odd it was that the girl from No Doubt, was chosen to Tank Girl. I remember reading about it in the paper, I remember seeing it with my friends in High School and talking about it. I remember over hearing about it at other places during the course of my life. But again, she's not in Tank Girl apparently. Now whats interesting is there is a phenomenon called the Mandala Effect, which talks about things like this event with other things in the world and how people, large groups of people remember it differently. Apparently theres other things that groups of people remember differently. To me this really points to the possibility that part of the universe and perhaps the human experience is somehow being transported into alternate realities, without any hitch in the system where everything is the same and you don't even know it happened. Like my experience, everything in this world is exactly the same, except that moment, which I know I didn't dream up or imagine, since I have way to many reference points of it happening. Perhaps there's other explanations, but to me I find this really fascinating and makes the world all the more interesting. Hope you enjoyed the story.

What the hell is the bottom right thing... Oh its the hand of god going to catch the guy/god God is flicking off the mountain?

Nothing makes someone a "God". God is already and has always been whats taking place. There isn't anything but "God", so there for everyone, everything and everywhere you could say is "God".

I can definitely relate to this phenomenon, at times its so hard feeling, and at others its so strange. In the end I find it is what it is, and to just let it run its psychological and emotional course. Perhaps in time you will get less concerned with it when its happening, perhaps it will become a background sorta thing, like the wind. Your always free to put your attention somewhere else and not worry that this process is going on, its not a sign of a problem, being on the wrong path or doing something wrong that caused this (these are ones that I notice catch the attention and create a great deal of confusion and going in circles). You sound like a good person on the right track, perhaps some of my words have been helpful.

It really depends if you see division and contrast to begin with. If there isn't one, then there's nothing to do, but if there is, I find that being warm hearted towards what ever that is can lighten the moment or create ease with the division and contrast. It helps to realize through deep spiritual moments that there isn't any real division to begin with. But even without those, softening the edges, say in your judgements, emotional reactions, and perhaps rigid feelings/beliefs can create in the moment ease. Perhaps even doing so more often will create a natural softening, or habit of softening that will create more pleasantcy more often.

Doors still open, always open for a conversation.

Were you diagnosed with some sort of addiction or is this self diagnosed? Whats the problem with having some icecream and cake a couple times a week?

@ardacigin Its interesting you mention VR on this forum. I recently got a occulus 2 and have found it pretty profound. I don't know if you believe in different spritual bodies such as light and what not, but I found that VR has allowed an access to a Self sense I don't think I could of connected with as deeply without VR. I've found being in VR outer space and meditating with eye's open to be uniquely liberating.

You had a momentary glimpse into a real truth.