Shadowraix

You'll probably find some relief apologizing for it. Otherwise, just feel the guilt. Feel it as it occurs in your body. The idea is to feel your emotion without responding to it. You can take this deeper to help you not have kneejerk reactions to things. Why did you react that way? What did you feel? What about you got threatened from that joke?

Socializing is an activity. They appeal to some and not for others. Different strokes for different folks. Is a lack of socializing hurting you? Why do you wish to change this lack of desire? Its perfectly fine if you lack it. Do you think you will be happier desiring socialization?

Might affect you differently but I found MDMA to be far better as it allows me to connect with my emotions and process all the negative feelings without actually feeling traumatized by it. You have to be much more careful with LSD because if you aren't ready to handle those emotions it will get amplified and could potentially cause your mind to spiral downward quickly.

Yes, I agree with this. I was just saying anything can be an expression of love if you want it to be and there are people who feel marriage to be such an expression.

You don't know if you will or not. Don't act like you know what the future holds for you. If you want an actual stable relationship then you need some form of confidence and security in yourself. Insecurity is an easy gate to many problems down the road. You'd likely end up worrying about them cheating on you or leaving you all the time. And controlling and manipulative behavior won't solve that. Security in yourself will. You want sex and a relationship but you don't seem to be willing to put in the effort in yourself to get out there and get it.

Definitely not the case for everyone based on people I have talked to getting married to show their feelings of great love. One single expression of love doesn't hold a marriage together either. I live in the US

I've found great use from MDMA. It can really help you deeply explore your emotions and how you are feeling. MDMA helped me realize some really fundamental trauma that prevented me from connecting and loving people as deeply as I wanted to. When I figured that out, I was just crying in happiness. My first candyflip (LSD + MDMA) experience also was very beneficial. The colors and feelings and my way of thinking was so mind fuckery. Seeing the paradox and I felt like I experienced a glimpse of being absolute infinity. You probably will want to be around people but I did most of my MDMA doses alone and called a friend if I really wanted to talk. You haven't read up on it enough. If you aren't doing high doses, you stay in cool temps, and wait like 3 months at least ideally between doses its no more dangerous than your classic psychedelics. Its a very unique drug in its capability to let you access emotions compared to psychedelics. There is concern for neurotoxicity, but use the drug sparingly and you won't have a problem at all. Treat it like a vacation.

Attractiveness is RELATIVE Let that sink in. Nothing can factually tell you you are beautiful or ugly. In fact I would say everybody is both! Thats exactly what makes it relative. You're trying to derive self worth in what other people think of your attractiveness level and how many/much boyfriends and sex you have. If you don't ever have a boyfriend that is FINE If you don't ever have sex that is FINE NEITHER are necessary for a happy life. Your own fear over this stuff you are creating. Do you see this? You create your own suffering. I doubt the person who called you the ugliest woman in the world has seen every single woman to exist on this planet. This is enough to 2nd guess on if you should really consider who is telling you that. And if they are telling you that then they likely have some ulterior motive. People will call other people a bitch and ugly even if they find them smoking hot if they have something against them.

This is exactly my point. I'm trying to get some idea across to you and the perspective you are seeing it in is making it increasingly difficult to do so. If you can't match the perspective of the person talking then you will likely end up in a downspiral of confusion. Its like looking at the nondual paradigm from the materialist paradigm. Looking at a 1 sided window from the blind side. There is no right or wrong. No should or should not from the nondual perspective. But when I say you aren't looking at it from the right perspective I am trying to convey that to understand what they are trying to get across you may need a perspective shift.

"How can i trust Leo" You don't. Thats why you have to do the work for yourself. To validate. "when he always contradicts himself?" They likely happen at surface level interpretations. Remember what he says is getting filtered through your lens.

Your questions seems to be due to not looking at it from the right perspective. We're using language and so often times we use words to try and get a point across that may not make much sense from a nondual perspective.

Will it? Maybe. Likely? Not without the contemplation component.

Life is not static from what I see.

I don't see this at all. Having such a reply doesn't inherently imply a lack of wondering just because it might not be directly expressed in the post. This seems to be an assumption of intent.

How many times are you going to make a new thread about these problems? This is like the 5th time now. In which none of them truly expands on the problem more. You've been given a lot of advice but you hardly engage. Are you here to vent or get advice? If its advice, you need to apply it. Leo has many videos on improving self-pessimism.

Infinity wouldn't be infinity if it excluded something. All is possible is not making a definite claim of something being present in our experience of reality though.

Why would you assume you (the ego) can do whatever you want?

The only thing separating you from infinity is perception. Can infinity be infinity without immortality present?

DUDE This has happened to me several times. It really trips me out.

Yes, from what I understand marriage is an expression of their love. But it seems to be a very culture-based practice. You can express love in a indefinite amount of ways. I often shrug aside culture to try and find my most authentic expression of such affection.

You don't give people much to work on. You make these threads, give very vague and undetailed replies to them, then make a new thread to a very similar degree of the previous thread. If you are trying to seek advice and help you gotta engage in the discussion.

Rationality is based on pattern based thinking with rules. Thats what "reason" seems to be at its core. And so rationality is conforming to reason or such rulesets. So as SoonHei put it, its entirely relative. The conclusions people come to here are actually using rationality to contemplate things. To say if the separating of things is something you artificially create the result must be that there is no actual separation. All is one. This is using rational thinking to come to such conclusions. A better application is to contemplate what rationality is and even reason down to its core.

Existence/nonexistence is also a illusory duality. I want to go to vipassana or whatever but my nearest one is a couple of states away. I'm probably go in my early 20s as im just turning 20.

Its a distinction between consciousness and its contents which such a distinction doesn't actually exist.

You claim people abandoned reality yet you are comparing that to your own perception of reality. The thing about infinity is that all perspectives represent some facet of truth.