Identity

@seeking_brilliance Yeah indeed. Attaching too much meaning to whether it is a past life or not isn’t the way to go I guess. Could discuss that till the cows come home ? Cool experiences though, especially if they can point us to the right direction.

@Leo Gura That is quite crazy indeed. If so, you seem to be doing a good job resolving that ?

@seeking_brilliance Looked at your links, interesting stuff! Ill give that a shot. The descriptions are very similar to my experiences. Have you experimented with this, gotten any results? @Leo Gura Interesting, you got me curious about what they said, but I can imagine you wouldn’t want to share. I might explore that in the future, but have other priorities atm. @SirVladimir Cool, I’d love to hear it if you get any traction ? @Baotrader Haha ? @Nahm Thank you ? My sister has done some reiki courses when she was young. I went to some reiki healing sessions a while back, and the woman also recommended it. Im also into massage. Definitely keep that in mind, or better, Ill stick it on my dream board ?

@UDT ???

Ever since Leo made that video on authority, it had been very interesting to me to see the authority games unfold in practice. Most of all, I see how I am playing the game myself. I am in a kind of in between space, where I am going from being a student to being an authority figure. Instead of being a student, I now teach at the university. I have my own business and am starting to give workshops and coaching, as well as a massage business. At university, because I am the “tutor” students have my opinion in high regard. Yet I see how some students grasp certain topics at a deeper level than me. However, admitting that would threaten my position within the group. Same goes for my businesses. At my massage practice, it seems like I have to put on the mask of being a “massage therapist”. On my website I talk about the courses I have followed. At my training/education business, I have to be the trainer/entrepreneur/coach. Hey, Martin what do you do now? There again goes the salespitch for who I am. And it does seem to matter a lot what that salespitch contains and with what confidence I bring it. Some other authority examples: Today I was at a manual therapist. When I started to engage in a conversation that did not match her normal “Therapist-client” dynamic, she got defensive quickly. It started of by me just walking in and asking her how she is doing, to which she responded she is the therapist. Than later on when I made some suggestions as to why I have back problems, quickly she started making statements about her 45 years of experience, science, education and more. The training company I work with, is also largely pre-occupied with creating an authority position. I helped to develop content for a training on leadership. Guess what the first 10 minutes where about? Citing all the references and theories, all the people that are behind this workshop, all their phd’s and experience and bla bla bla. “It helps for the participants to take us seriously” was the reason. It seems that authority limits openness and creativity. Because there is someone who “already knows how things are” and this belief system and position needs to be defended. The defending of the authority position becomes a corrupting factor in looking for the truth. Even if a relative truth. Yet it seems crucial to have a sense of authority to survive in the world. People won’t hire me for workshops or coaching if I don’t appeal to certain credentials or experience or whatever. Just dropping a certain term, a certain positional status, makes all the difference. How to navigate this game for authority in an authentic way? Is it possible to drop the game and still survive/thrive? Or is it more of a trade off? Education interests me. One of the concepts that came to me was “do you know?” Where it would be a platform for open discussion. Where participants look for their own understanding and take responsibility for their own understanding. Where they learn to think for themselves instead of sucking on the tit of an apparent authority figure. Anyhow, went on a rant here ? let me know what your thoughts are if you made it this far ?

For a while now I have these thoughts where I imagine myself in different scenarios bursting into uncontrollable crying. In the imaginations it feels like a surrender and relief. There is this feeling I would describe as no longer having to pretend. For a while I have been aware of sadness I carry on my heart. I think it has to do with mystical/awakening experiences. I have cried from time to time. Last week I had quite a breakthrough where I cried in front of others at a mindfulness training. We were given an excercise to imagine ourselves in 5 years. Whilst writing down “I am fully Awake, fully seen through all illusion and have reclaimed authority as GOD...” I had tears in my eyes. When we had to share our vision with others I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Although this felt good, it feels like there is a lot more sadness left. Like a conservative cry won’t do it. Like I need to fully let myself go. Perhaps it needs to be around others as well. any suggestions? ?

@mandyjw Oke, if you say so. Nice video’s btw ?

Yes I know, at some times... and then I forget. That game must have been hard for you to play also, the spiritual teacher authority whilst being on the awakening journey. Do you still feel a need to defend something, or can you be fully authentic? How do you balance this need for being a perceived a certain way for your position to maintained and authenticity?

@zeroISinfinity Pretty sure it already is a tread. Also, I have posted my vision board like 5 times already ?? Perhaps I should stop ?

@mandyjw On it! Now I am curious to see yours ? This is my full board. Whenever something comes to mind I write it on a piece of paper and put in on there. Than when I am more sure about I make a drawing out of it ?

@Jonac On it! ??? @mandyjw Yess, Ive got a huge board right in front of my bed ?. Do you mean the desire for God, or the desire to cry? This is part of the board. Yeah I actually have a journal, but haven’t used it for a while. Will pick it back up, thank you! Its wierd though, because when I cry there usually isn’t a particular image or event that arises. It’s just sadness that wants to leave my body. I can feel my heart in my chest ”shaking” it out @cetus56 Funny you say that, because after I posted, I had a little crying sesh. And right at that time a guy who I never talk to sent me a “funny video” of a guy crying through Facebook messenger. I’m hardly even on Facebook. LOL And wait a minute! The video was about how he had been “a bad boy, and thus not receive any presents for christmas”. ?

Thank you for all your efforts and amazing advice. I was just reading some replies and was hit by the wisdom behind it. Not just the quality of advice, but the genuine care behind it. Crazy, if you think about it, to have this resource where you can ask questions and personalized high quality advice is given for free! Its like google on steroids ? ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

Hmm I have two start-ups. I get flashes of doubt quite often. These things help for me: - Think long-term. Be in it for the long haul. Making a 5 year commitment for example, to this endevour. It helps to see setbacks in the bigger perspective. - Focus on the process. See whether your daily habits are in line with your bigger vision. Think this out, would someone taking the actions I take end up where you want to be? If the answer is yes, than ground yourself in that. Remind yourself in moments of doubt that you are on the path. - Related to the focussing on the process, is tracking process. If you have an overview of things you have done, small achievements you gained, you won’t be swapped away by a flash of anxiety as much. - Develop self-esteem. This one is huge, but is a longer project. 6 pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Brandon, with some of his stem-completions in the morning? Oh boy. Thats powerful. You can do it my friend ?

+1

6 pillars of self-esteem - Nathaniel Brandon. Life changing book. Read it multiple times and did the stem completion excercises every morning for a year or so. It is such a deep dynamic that spreads out into every aspect of your life. Can’t recommend it enough.

“How to make people like me” might be the wrong question. It implies an internalization of external expectations. Even if you mold yourself into something that is others approve of, you won’t be happy. how about : “how can I be my authentic self around people?” An inside out approach will work better I think. Connect to yourself. Accept yourself. Shine yourself out into the world. See who starts to resonate with you.

Paul Chek is an amazing teacher when it comes to health. He talks about nutrition and fitness mostly. However, he is all about holistic health, therefore he also branches out to other personal development/spiritual topics. His teachings are build on a deep spiritual embodiment and turquoise level Spiral development. He has a youtube channel where you can watch free videos. He also offers online courses and is a writer. I just ordered his book; How to eat, move and be healthy. Excited to read it ? Here are a few short video’s that give you an impression: A lot more practical workouts and stuff to be found also. These are just to give an idea what he is about.

I used my gap year to install good habits. Then, when uni starts, you will build on top of a good fundament. A lot harder to build habits when most of your energy goes into university. Also, figuring out what you really want, your purpose, creating a vision.

The Netherlands rocks, walk into any smartshop, get yourself a bunch of shrooms, and you are ready to roll ? Looking for an appartment atm, when I have one Ill host you ?

The fearless man

Check out “no more mr. Nice guy” - Robert Glover

Last week I was laying in bed after somewhat of a slow day. All of a sudden I felt the urge to shake. For a minute or two I started to shake quite heavily. At some point the shaking was more happening to me than from me, if that makes sense. After the shaking I felt a burst of creative energy. I started drawing out models and insights like a mad man for the next hour and a half. After that the creativity faded and what I was left with a sense of unease, causing me to not sleep for a few hours. Over the last half a year I have had around 5 of these type of experiences. It’s not a major theme, but just curious whether its kundalini energy or something else.

Cool, thank you! Ill order the books and go from there. Otherwise I know where to find you ?

@Dumuzzi Oke thank you! Well, my life had been disrupted for a while ? Ive felt third eye openings before and I remember an instance a few years ago where I felt my entire spine “lightning up”, as well as the top of my head. and more such stuff. A good idea indeed to read up, because Im mostly in the dark atm. I see he has a lot of books, any recommendations for where to start?

That video also hit me in the balls lol. Yeah, overal it just becomes increasingly hard to weene of societies tit as you get older and take on more responsibilities. There is no artificial line at 22 where you are at once fucked. However, when you do get yourself into that first 40h/week job you’re on a certain trajectory. I’m 23 myself and for the last years a big focus has been to develop something for myself, my own business. Really happy Ive been chipping away at this whilst studying, so now I have some momentum. I imagine if you start out cold after your studies its an uphill battle. Everyones situation is different though, and definitely don’t turn it into a limiting belief.