Devi Shanti

Interesting... But what would be a concentration problem, then?

You are talking about yourself, Leo, I'm sorry you had so shallow experiences with relationships. But it's not the truth for everyone. I've seen couples of elders who love each other and it's so beautiful and inspiring. Most relationships end, it's true, but exactly because most people have so egotistical motivation to get involved with others. I believe that what comes too easy, usually goes away as easy as it came. Sometimes you have to fight for love and then, when you conquer it, then it's yours, unless you make a real mess. That's what I believe. If we can't tolerate one's differences, if we can't give up of our own will for someone when it's necessary, and learn new perspectives and behaving from our partners, then we can't know what love is, and without love, there is no enlightment nor fulfillment. Loving yourself without the hability of loving the one next to you is not love, it's narcissism and self-centereness.

@Rasheed thank you very much! I'm gonna check it out. By lack of concentration I mean I have been forgetting things all day, like I am going to take something in the kitchen, but then when I arrive there, I don't know what I was about to do anymore. And when I am studying I spend a long time until I can finally concentrate in some subject and start learning something, for example.

@Finland3286 go ahead and send the message! Any woman would be flattered by such a sweet act. I would recommend you to put with the message some small gift like a little flower. It would be so lovely ?♥️ Then come back to tell us how was it! Older women are still women, and women like kind gestures. There are plenty of older men without enough sensibility to touch a woman's heart. If I was single and a younger guy made me such a kind gesture, it would make me want to know him better, and I would certainly consider giving him a chance. (I'm not a relationships expert either, I am just giving my woman's opinion )

@Annonymous ?❤️

@Annonymous I can't avoid thinking your story of sexual abuse in childhood and also this hormone imbalance are directly related to your sexual and gender issues nowadays. Have you ever tried psychotherapy? I think someone who had suffered this type of severe trauma in childhood would never pass without a psychologist help. It's very important. One thing that has been helping many people (including me) to deal and overcome deep traumas and emotional issues is Ayahuasca. I strongly recommend it. You should check out if you have it in your country. I hope you had stopped thinking about take off your life. If you need someone to talk, count on me.

Oh my, this topic is so about me I feel like I am "wasting time" if I just have lunch, for example, without studying something or cook with listening to a podcast or something like this. I think maintaining my brain busy with high quality information helps to avoid excessive thoughts while I am doing something silenciouslly. Is it the opposite, then? I am also struggling with lack of concentration

@bejapuskas ♥️

If all you guys that feel alone in this forum become friends, you would be a community ?

I am sure you would regret on your first menstruation and hormones fluctuation You know, I think you should not to give so much attention to this aspect of your life. Things grow in our head when we feed it with attention. Enlightenment is about love. Love yourself, practice empathy and autruism, help people around you. Try to make your life simple. ♥️?

What about sex? Do you feel sexual desires for men? What are your instictive wills around sex? You feel masculine on it (dominating, pushing, penetrating) or more feminine (beeing dominated, being penetrated?) (Sorry if it was too intrusive, you don't have to answer if you don't feel like. I'm just kind trying to probe what is it about feeling like a woman you say) You know, other day I saw a couple at a restaurant. They were an "straight" couple, but the man was more produced than the woman. He was wearing a skirt, high heels, using lipstick and had painted nails. It was so weird to me, because I would expect from a person like him to be with another man, not with a woman, but there they were, kissing and acting like a regular couple. People have so many diverse behavior... It's hard trying to put everybody in boxes with designations.

@Annonymous @Annonymous I am following you... I also think like this, that people make a determined relation of behavior to sex, and if they don't identify with certain behavior that for him/her is an attribute of certain sex, then he/she feels like does not belong to that group (sex or gender). But I didn't understand about you... You were born a boy or a girl?

Well, one can "crave sex" as you say, but learn how to manage this energy for not to suffer from it. You know there are many resources for it. And I don't confuse lack of opportunity for sex with celibacy. Actually, due to regular men's craving for sex, almost all girls have many opportunities of having sex. But for some people just any opportunity of having sex does not worth it; it's better to wait for a more complete experience with love, trust, mutual delivery in all levels. Personally I feel like I am physically and energetically "moisturizing" with the person I have sex with. I would not like to go moisturizing around with people I don't even really know, that might have egotistical intentions while having sex (thinking only about his own pleasure and about how he would affirm his ego if gives his partner some orgasms). And yes, I think it's virtuous to be focused in deep connections and solid relationships, because that's an effective way of going further in self knowledge and practicing altruism and unconditional love. I am not dreaming, that's what I live, and I can't see best form of living for me. If I had not this life, I would better be a monk.

Bravo! Totally agree. Specially when you say "they are not about sex, they are about love." You will never have a woman entirely if you don't her her love. And sex with love is a magnific and unic experience in life.

@Serotoninluv thanks. I think I understand now how you think. All these concepts and denominations are confuse, though... From what I understand, sex is sex and it's determined by genetics, and genitalias are included in it because it's a visible expression of our genes. I don't think someone can accept one and deny other. Other different things can be gender and sexual orientation. Honestly, I am glad that to my person all this concepts are one same thing and I am in peace with this simplicity. I hope people in different situations can find peace inside too. My respect to all them human being.

@Leo Gura why do you think there aren't celibate girls who aren't nuns? Do you think there are men, though?

@Serotoninluv I meant, @bejapuskas questioned if the denying of sex (what I understand as the biological factor XX or XY) could be the begging of a conflict, what would scalate to sexuals behaviors. Then you started your response talking about sexual orientation. I just brought this fact that children who deny their sex without even having any sexual maturity to have any sexual orientation. Do you understand now what I mean? Imagine a little boy who doesn't even imagine there is something called "sex" and even less feels sexual attraction for anyone that does not accept being a boy, being convicted he is a girl. He is not denying a sexual orientation, he doesn't know anything about it. I gave this example to say that some people really deny their sex, their physiological condition, since childhood or not. I want to know what you think about this in level of conscious.

Sometimes this denying of sex comes from early childhood, when people didn't even got in puberty, so, it's not necessarily linked to sexual activities. Some people really deny their sex to the point of taking off (or wanting to) their sexual organs. I don't think it's a question of sexual orientation only. What do you think about it?

@Raptorsin7 and @Leo Gura what would you do if you found an amazing girl who is committed to her spiritual development who will only leave celibacy when find a partner to the rest of her life (in other words, be married)? Would you stay in a celibate relationship until be sure you wanna be with this person for your entire life? Would you get out as soon as possible? Would you remain in an afective relationship with her while banging other girls around? I am really interested in your answers.

I'm sorry for your story and all the suffering it causes in you. It's ok feeling angry, sad. You are doing well looking for help and trying to find answers to your concerns. Good job! Keep being honest first with yourself. You don't have to fake anything. What @LeolsMe69 said about forgiving is true, but you have to know it's not easy to forgive. You have a long way to go through until reaching it. But it's a daily work. You have to keep this intention of forgiveness alive inside you everyday, even if you don't feel like it, then you will find your way. Forgiveness heals. One thing that helps on this process is thinking about your dad's story and what made him behave that way. What kind of emptyness and emotional pain brought him to this? Usually, we are victims of victims, until someone get aware of this vicious cycle and breaking it. Maybe it also can help knowing the psychological origins of the addiction to pornography (not your exactly, but what psychologists say), and try to probe these mental patterns in you. A good psychologist can help you with it. Also, do an effort on improving your diet and doing regular exercises. A health body is an important basis for a health mind. Good luck! You can do it!

I am saying exactly what I am saying. We keep looking for what make us different, we keep getting away from oneness. It is simple. No much to explain. Actually I don't like talking about this subject because once people start separating their sex/mind/body this way, it becomes a complex net hard to get out of, and in general they don't want to get out of it. You keep thinking I don't understand you, and you start being ironic and talking to me like I was stupid. I don't really know your real intention on this thread. I thought you were looking for an answer (or at least for different opinions about) for "is thinking you are the opposite sex unconscious?". And my short answer is: yes. It's like thinking you are a cat or an alien, just because you are not. I carefully measured my words trying to be the most polite and compassive I could. I'm sorry if they can't help you any way. I understand it's not easy to consider different points of view about a thing we are so attached to. If you allow me giving you a piece of advice: keep exercising it with truth deep in your heart. You don't have to defend yourself of anything, you don't have to fight. You only have to sincerely consider. Peace.

@Cameron either I didn't say you said it. It's just an example of where things can go if we keep categorizing everything. In short, my friend, I wanna say you don't need to spend your precious life feeling different and misunderstood by society because they don't understand the theory of sex, gender and sexual orientation. Pay attention on what is that isolate a person. This is the ego trap. Reality is one. The closer we get to people around us (in heart level), the closer we are of oneness.

@Cameron I see complexification on what is quite simple. There are people claiming for social recognition for more than 30 different genders. If we keep forking concepts, it will be endless. Simplicity is always the shortest way to find Truth. Why are we always highlighting our differences? Why do we keep labelling ourselves and others? Why don't we highlight our similarities? Why don't we stop creating complexity and just contemplate the beauty of the simple and wide open truth?

@Cameron you can be what you call feminine, but you will still be a man. That's the unavoidable reality. But you can find your way of being a man authentically, in despite of that image of the masculine you don't feel identification with.

In my point of view, matter is condensed energy. So, things and living beings are expressions of the spirit of nature, energy. I really think we are born with the appearance of who we really are inside. But, I know there is too much social speculation about behaving depending on your sex. I think that if we really connect to nature, ignoring many of those social patterns, we can find a real way to be in harmony with our bodies, gentilly flow with it. Our sex says a lot about us. We are driven all the time by our hormones, cicles, form of brain work (all those are strictly related to sex). Many people are investing giant efforts in a war against their bodies and society, destroying their physical health, their relationships and going into a way back where only suffering comes from because they don't accept their sex. I can't see more than ignorance on it, I am sorry. The end of suffering comes from acceptance. Accepting the reality manifested in us is a fundamental part of spiritual development. Maybe you only have limited concepts about men's/women's behaviors. Maybe you have a deep emotional wound that makes you reject the masculine in you. These are my thoughts about this subject. You can meditate about it, considering. I hope some of these words could help you someway. Wish you peace.