SageModeAustin

Anyone else feeling this?

how do u guys maintain motivation when dealing with things like depression and ocd?

whats the point of it all? We all start as innocent children filled with joy and as life goes on it gets taken from us. Our views get distorted and we become rigid and in pain. We die with dreams we once had as kids, some of us fulfilling them some of us not, but in the end its all meaningless. THere is INFINITE SUFFERING its happening everywhere and its fucking bullshit! What's the point of me trying to get a PhD in neuropsychology?! Hah! Me pretending that I can help end this universal suffering by doing so is fucking NAIVE! HAHAHA what a fucking fool I am. A damned fool.

So I woke up today just thinking to myself what is my life purpose what would I want to do with my life? I went on a walk around my neighborhood and just kept thinking about this question. I saw my friends dad smoking outside and he is a successful engineer so I decided to ask him some questions. First I asked him if when he was my age (22) did he know he wanted to do what he is doing today and he said I knew when I was 12. I then asked him if engineering is something he enjoys to the point he would be willing to work for free or even pay someone to allow him to do the work. He then lectured about me how that is too extreme thinking and that you shouldn't follow your passion because you need money. I then told him that isn't that the reason why most people aren't doing the things that they truly want then? He said yes, but you need money it all comes down to balance. I agree somewhat, but now I am about to watch video 30. Concepts: Detach from Money from leos life purpose course. How ironic that I happen to be on this exact video at this exact time.

I am amazed at how much value it is giving me. I can tell Leo really fucking cares about what he is talking about because he starts to tear up. Thank you Leo.

yes

Goal for the summer: Do shadow work everyday to become more accepting of myself. How about you guys?

i am really regretting things i've done in the past and i cannot let them go..It also really bothers me because I couldn't see myself being in a relationship with them knowing what i've done or lying about it.

How do I eliminate the need for a partner?

@purerogue i've been trying to do this too! Wow good tip

How do I string my thoughts into words better? I have ADHD, OCD, (I think slight autism as well) so my thoughts are very scattered/rapid which makes it hard to "catch." I have trouble putting my words into a coherent linear manner at times, sometimes I do really good though it's weird. For example @Leo Gura is excellent at this as well as Jordan Peterson.

@Sahil Pandit Interesting that you say that because I naturally started journaling recently. I will try that.

@Sahil Pandit I guess I am afraid of getting cheated on/break up.

Jesus Christ man I can't imagine. Seek therapy, you're going to need it because this is going to be a long process. Think about what your wife would want for you to do and go do it.

there is so many different ideas of me and my personality that i don't know which one is actually authentic

@Aquarius “just be more assertive.” Why? How is that authentic

@ivory ?

What are some ways to subtly or directly test someones level of mindfulness?

@ivory good point.

@SoonHei Maybe when you are completely present you are being authentic

Would you do this @Leo Gura?

@winterknight I have a therapist (although I haven't seen this one yet) and I do take medication. I'm dealing with a existential/spiritual suffering too not just biological.

@winterknight extreme depression, OCD, ADHD. I've tried killing myself in the past. Life is meaningless. Everything is just a means to an end. Happiness ends. Suffering ends. Love ends. Joy ends. It all ends. We all die. Meaning is subjective. I feel like I am stuck in this body, this life. I want to escape, but I am too afraid to hurt other people for my actions. And yes I am doing all of the advice like working out, eating healthy, cold showers, meditation, self development it all just sucks. I've been this way for the past decade or more and it's only getting worse.

@Arhattobe what if you take stimulants for ADHD, (but i'm going to be moving from adderall to modafinil because of its synergetic effects with antidepressants) it decreases my depression and adhd Also what if u have already looked straight into it, but it has not disappeared? I take Zoloft and welbutrin as well for my OCD/depression/adhd, it is helping a tiny bit, but I am still very depressed every day. I exercise three times a week, eat okay and meditate daily..there seems to be no end to this. I have tried killing myself in the past and ever since then I feel like another person stuck in this body.

How do I get out of the dark knight of the soul?