Cortex

Exactly, there is nothing to fear, I have the opposite even the night after sexual contacts, no matter where I am for example in my high school or at a casting or even at any random place and I see a good looking girl I just can't stop my erection because of my fantasies, especially if some girl presses my fetish buttons, then I usually start to flirt with her or stare at her body part which makes me horny for her to see this, usually it really works pretty nice

Outer posted a very great video about this, it really does explain it pretty great, and btw this therapist is just a tool for me which I use for a drug prescription, so please don't think that some tharapist who is not in my special people category has any power over my psychology, I am just myself very aware of myself and can be honest here because you all don't see me in real life and are far away so you clearly don't present any danger so this is just like my commonplace book or journal so you can be sure that I say the truth about myself in here

And of course I don't put any faith in him, he is just another egoist in a form of some tharapist who only thinks about himself and doesn't give a flying f*ck about anything else, you think that I don't know that ? But he is just there whenever I need a prescription sometimes for a new drug, because all of the negative stuff also are present within my system because of it, like a panic attacks, mostly panic attacks because depression would show up if I didn't get my supply for a longer period of time, but there are some shorter periods, like for example someone see me in a situation which doesn't belong to my self image,

Jesus, I am myself conscious of this long before my therapist, my therapist is just there to listen, it's really high quality therapist, but that's not the point, I myself know who I am better than anyone, and my tharapist is also a source of supply, because I can talk about myself all the time

This is not a problem, this is heaven when I have a lot of narcissistic supply, when I don't well then this is pretty big problem, but I am this way very very long time, there really is no true me inside, even my therapist knows this, because sometimes Narcissism can go so far that there is no such things as true self, it's like the M.C asher painting

Narcissistic Personality Disorder, In the most extreme form, that it is called Pathological Narcissism

If you don't see the world it doesn't exist right ? Well that's what Quentum mechanics says, and it would be great but it's not the case, because if enlightened master would meditate and believed that nothing exists if he doesn't perceive it, and I would shoot him in the head he would die anyway, or if he would meditate and believed that nothing exists but there was an asteroid hitting his head he would still die, everything exists that's how the world can function it can't be any other way

I've never identified with my body, for me body is like a sculpture an object and sometimes enemy for my self image, a year from now I will be having a plastic surgery, a lot of people always say that I am really good looking, and a lot of different types of people say that, from average looking to really good looking individuals, well, maybe I am to the outside world in this form which they see, but I see a 100 times better image of how I could change my body and how would it look like, my body for me is a sculpture, I can make it into whatever I want for it to be closer to my self image, I can't wait for new technology or better genetic engineering which will allow to shape and modify the human body as the owner of this body wishes

Well, I do when to a certain point when I find it good looking or want to be seen because of being great dressed or with very good looking girl or if I am in a great car or place, In other words I identify with it only if it is good for my Ego and self image, If it's not then I hide in a sense in my own mind or distract myself by stimulation and a lot of different things

When you don't care you can do whatever you want, when you try to learn something or do something new you will not learn this or do this if you are desperate, when you approach a new girl knowing that you have a lot of better girls in the background and you don't need this particular girl you are extremely self confident because you have nothing to lose it is win win situation in both cases, so your chances of getting this girl are also extremely higher, if you have nothing to lose when you doing something you are extremely more likely to do it great, because you feel great no matter what will happen, you just don't give a flying f*ck and are free to play the game however you want, not caring means freedom and from the position of freedom you can accomplish anything, so always think positively and bring your accomplishments to mind and abilities and great things which will happen to you and realise that you have nothing to lose when you doing something new, and think about all the great stuff that you have and can always go back to

Dissociation (being split-off from one's deepest truth) mimics enlightenment but is not Enlightenment. People who are dissociated live in great peace. But this is only because they have blocked their negative feelings. The enlightened person resolves his negative feelings, and thus his peace is not false. People who are dissociated do not suffer. But this is only because they have abandoned their healing process and numbed their pain. Enlightenment grows from the fertilized soil of suffering. People who are dissociative call themselves enlightened. But this is only because they have no conception of what enlightenment is. Enlightenment is the polar opposite of dissociation. People who are dissociative are not easily emotionally ruffled. But this is only because there lies a thick wall buffering their hidden, vulnerable self from the sharp edges of the world. The enlightened are much less protected, but have such a deep core of self-love that they can defend themselves gently. People who are dissociated feel they have mastered forgiveness. But this is only because they completely deny the harm done to them - and the damage remaining. the enlightened forgive spontaneously and without effort because they have fully embraced their damage parts and grieved every honest ounce of their misery. People who are dissociated are extremely self-confident. But this is only because their self-deceptive armor is impenetrable to self-reflection. The self-confidence of enlightenment is fed by the universal spring of life. People who are dissociated gravitate naturally toward leadership roles. But this is only because they are experts at leading themselves away from their heart's true course. The enlightened person leads right to the heart of the matter. People who are dissociated have gone through hell to get to where they're at. But they fail to realise that they're still stuck right in hell. Enlightenment is the freedom of emotional integration. People who are dissociated fell they have found their true self. But this is only because their spirits are so buried behind walls of denial that they have no conception of what spirit is. Enlightenment is the passionate spirit of the child held by the consciousness of the adult. People who are dissociated are quite motivated, sophisticated, and convincing. But thus is only because they perennially risk returning to suffering if they do not convince everyone of their lie. Enlightenment brings a motivation to speed the truth that is everyone's birthright. People who are dissociated act decisively. But this is only because the cannot see or question their unconscious motivation. The enlightened person is also decisive, but only because he has no unconscious, because in his healing process it, like a now-useless appendage, has dissolved. Dissociation is contrary to enlightenment. Behind dissociation lies unresolved trauma, and only once trauma is resolved can the light of consciousness enter the core of our being.

If you had a magic button, if you press this button you die, you always have it with you, you can do anything then, because no matter what you do there will never be consequences, you will just push this button and escape if situation becomes too dangerous, how differently would you live your live then

For example you fall in love with some person but when you get to know them you actually hate them, or you plan something you plan entire scenerio of events which can happen on some party or event but then non of this scenerios actually happend and they were very different

When we will merge with AI and transmut our consciousness into machines we will be free to fully experience the world, without carrying around our human bodies, and suffer because of carrying this corpses, there will not be any emotions and any physical reactions and any stupid body rules, we well be having beautiful machine bodies and infinite intelligence and become gods, this can be equivalent of feeding people with 5meo-dmt

Exactly Sashaj, that's exactly what I've tried to tell

Oh no, hundreth knows my secret

If everything is infinetly intelligent and one that also means that this is in a sense a script and everything already happen so that also means that I designed my own life but if I did that then why I choose this life and why not for example my dream life from the beginning

This is very interesting syndrome the idea that you can f**k with succubusses to me sounds remarkable fascinating and interesting beyond any label of human perception and understanding

It must be, because even if there was some sort of a boundarie there must be something behind it, It just goes for infinity you can always go in some direction in the universe for infinity, just as you can break atoms into smaller parts for infinity and it must be broken down for infinity because there cannot be nothing at the end you can go infinitely down and also infinitely up in the scale and our universe isn't in the middle because middle would mean that there is the begging and end but there isn't it goes for infinity and it can't be any other way

But I really want to experience this, it just must be experienced like enlightenment or mystical experience or psychedelic, this is just one of this experiences which just have to be experienced and I will try to do it, maybe while meditating I will start to visualise this even more than before, wish me luck

Ok I am always careful what I wish for, but think how great would it be to have sex with succubus how unique it would be, but I really need to watch out because sometimes when I think about this dark stuff so much I have very scary thoughts and feel really great fear for example I was walking around and felt special and was in my fantasies and then I said "I am a vessel for succubusses" and then so scary thought came to my mind I saw then an image of myself without eyes and without lips but smiling and having big smile, I felt panic attack for almost 10 seconds and then I stopt and started thinking positive thoughts again, but maybe I should really stop

Don't get me wrong I've had many sexual contacts through my life because I've always been pretty horny individual and I am this way to this day, but to me succubusses Is really a new level, read about it you can have experience with this stuff and in some way this can be really spiritual experience

I have decided that my plan B if my big dreams and visions about my personal success don't work out will be to become a Buddhist Monk because I will not physically kill myself even though that may happen if I don't make it but becoming a Buddhist Monk to me there is something so f*cking deep about it that this in reality is the ultimate egoist act to understand reality and everything around me

You can be the mix of both

So get the most pleasure out of life before you die, find the thing which brings you the most joy and pleasure or happiness and focus on that, there is no point so why not get the most pleasure from this pointless existence