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Everything posted by Luna

  1. I lost my ex boyfriend to a meth overdose (laced with fentanyl).. Last time we spoke was just few days before his death he said he does not want to speak to me again anymore and I did not say anything; I decided to reach out few days after and I realized he's dead. we had a really good friendship after our breakup (almost 3 years ago) but it really affected him and made him depressed that we were no longer together; the last few months were really hard for him after his brother's suicide and death of his cat who was his best friend. I know it is not my fault; I know I did not cause him to overdose but I am still overcame and defeated by guilt and what ifs.. what if I had reached out to him sooner what if i had been a better gf at the time what if i had been a better friend. this is the very first death I deal with in my 25 years of life. any tips? words of comfort? anything will help.
  2. @Schizophonia Amen. I hope I can move on from this gracefully
  3. @Princess Arabia The problem is, his brother committed suicide and shortly after his cat died.. and our breakup (which happened way before that) was all so hard on him my heart aches so much for what he had to go through and drove him to the addiction. I try to distance myself from the situation of blaming myself but I cannot.. I could've reached out to him that day and we could've talked it out but I didn't know.. I was his only friend
  4. @Raze Thank you so much for these videos I will be watching them today.
  5. @Princess Arabia Thank you so much for sharing your experience and all the meaningful advice you wrote; I will keep it in my mind when all feels lost. I really appreciate it
  6. I'm not severely overweight or underweight. i weigh around 145 lbs and i am 5'5 but i feel grossly fat. at the same time no matter how much i try I can never have a normal relationship with food. i am not an emotional eater, i dont eat when im sad or stressed out . however, I do not know why i can't just eat normal meals and have a normal relationship with food. every time i eat, every single thing i consume gives me anxiety and makes me hate myself. how i still do it. i can't stop eating sometimes but i can control it enough to where i dont become really obese. i am afraid i will lose that and become really really fat.. how do i sort this out? anyone has a similar experience?
  7. solely because it feels like it was written about me.
  8. Has anyone tried it? is it worth the money? i am a little iffy about spending that much money on meditation but if it is really helpful i would be down please comment about your experience if you had tried it
  9. @snowyowl Thank you so much for your reply ! ! ! I
  10. @nitramadas I have asked a lot of people who have tried TM and 99% of the time they say stuff on youtube isn't accurate and you cannot master it until you go to teacher and pay for it. i just want to make sure i do it the right way i dont' want to waste time doing an incorrect practice of meditation and i know there isnt "right or wrong" in doing meditation but TM isnt like mindful meditation
  11. this will feel broad and cliche but what is the point of anything at all what is the point of living? I've been trying to find my purpose for 5 years now but nothing!!!!!! there is nothing that keeps me wanting to stay alive I don't experience negative or positive emotions anymore everything is numb and pointless. I don't know any other way to say it but I don't want to be alive anymore not because I'm overwhelmed with negative emotions but simply because there is nothing to live for there is no reason for me to stay here and i mean that in the least depressive way I can
  12. i found out that i can actually sing
  13. i used to flirt with old lonely men online to make money lol
  14. oh my god i can't fall asleep if i don't rock myself back and forth i thought i was the only one
  15. @Western Buddha I'm just going to say this, it wasn't your fault and you didn't know. it's HIS fault. he's the one who lied to you from what i read it's a natural response to be angry at a barefaced lie, i would be mad too. you didn't do anything wrong you were fooled by someone don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
  16. @pluto some people need mental help there is nothing wrong with that
  17. I think going to a professional is the best option.
  18. I recently had to cut off virtually all my "close" friends because it felt toxic and forced and I couldn't get a day by without feeling negative emotions from them. I feel cold and alone and I don't know if I made the right choice.. any advice?
  19. lately, I've been spending time with my grandparents and I had a particular conversation with my grandma about being old, senile, unable to help yourself and do basic stuff without needing help from others and it terrified me is it natural to have this fear, I've been thinking about it day and night I know I'm only 20 and I have a long way ahead but it's inevitable and if you do get these thoughts what do you do about them.
  20. I live in Upstate NY and spend the summer in Istanbul with family
  21. @Michael569 I will look into it, thank you.
  22. @Brittany I don't think "death" is a long way ahead. but being old and senile is. a lot of people are commenting as if I'm scared of death but that's a whole another subject. I'm talking about not being able to take care of yourself because you're too old to.