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About Jordan94

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  1. I'm not 100% sure on what really happen, but from what I heard (from some people that are actually close to culadasa and know more), he did not bang any student And the whole scenarie of "he's a sex addict who could not resist his urge to go bang hookers and cheating on his wife, from craving, even if he would regret it afterwards" seems far from reality, from what I've heard his relationship with his wife was coming to an end and even though they were still oficially married, they did not even live together and didn't divorce (yet) mostly to avoid paperwork/stuff like that, and his wife knew that he was seeing other women Which makes a big difference in the whole story
  2. @khalifa I was watching a video where a well known enlighened meditation teacher was answering a question about a student having some simmilar symtoms as yours (heart beat rising and difficulty to sleep, although your case also have some other stuff too), you might really want to check it out as his diagnose and remedies might be really adapted and useful for you too Here's the video, the part I'm talking about start around 6:20
  3. Can you try to identify how this fear/condeming/blame manifest as a physical sensation in your body ? Like trying to locate/identify that feeling/emotion/sensation Haha yea that's always the case, and will be the case for the next girl you really like that you miss, but at the end of the day it's just some thoughts and those thoughts will get less powerful/meaningful quite fast without doing anything with just some time
  4. @Greek-God Yea I know Julien Blanc and yea what he teaches recently is basically the exact same thing Hm yea it seems like you have a ton of resistance to the feelings and to letting go maybe The thing that you should play around is to try to let go of the resistance first, and by leting go of the resistance I mean leting it be, as David Hawkins/Julien Blanc would say, just observe it without jugement and just let it be, to make it more easy to observe the resistance, try to observe physical sensations that are associated with the resistance, tension somewhere for example Good job for the girl and your game progress also and even if it didn't end up perfectly this time it'll get better and better and future can be really bright for you on that regard
  5. I wanna emphasis that it's really normal that your sits are not consistents, and some sits are more focused than other, that's 100% normal and has to be like that, Culadasa even says it in the book, than rather than seeing yourself at a particular stage you should know that your stage will vary from sits to sits, and even in a given sit you might move a bit through a few stages Then Arda advices are really good too, getting more practice time is gonna be the one paramater that you can control that will have the most impact on your progress, and adding some non-sitting practice can be really nice for that as well (personally I really like Shinzen See Hear Feel) Also for more of progress with TMI framework, if you don't already, I highly recommend you to hang around a lot in the TMI subreddit, it's really a goldmine of ressources and help
  6. I would say the first one rather than the second one, the second one is not too likely imo, and also could be third option, you feel depressed now and it doesn't really have much to do with your meditation practice, or 4th, you were depressed for a bit but been distracting yourself/repressing the feelings so you didn't even notice that much that you were depressed, but now meditation is stopping that distracting/repressing and puting some light on the fact that you are feeling a bit depressed now (which is a good thing, distracting yourself/repressing feelings is not solving anything, that's just building more and more a timebomb)
  7. Well I don't think let it go and let it stay are opposite, they might actually be the exact same thing, in terms of pointers, and some people will resonate more about one or the other But they are definitly not opposite, "let it go" does not mean "try to make it go away" or "push it away", that's not the idea at all, it's the opposite of that
  8. So you're not gonna follow the study and graduate basically ? If so why didn't you talk about it with them before hand so you get a different path/not geting into that university ? But more importantly for now, is there an options about changing your scolarship or path for yourself where what your parents pay for could be more aligned with your future career/job plan Besides that, I don't think you should be overly guilty, every parent will pay a ton of money all aded to raise their children, but they chose it and I would doubt that if asked any parent would regret it and say they would rather have get all the money but not the kid, so you're worth it And for paying the university in particular, I guess what they want is to see you succeed and happy, so if you do so even following a path/career/whatever where this university would have been useless, I guess that's probably still fine for them And for your mother in particuler if you feel bad for her, could you help the situation in some way ? like maybe do some part time job sacrificing your time instead of hers ? or helping her in an other way ? or just making it up to her in some other way ?
  9. You can replace let it go by "let it be" / "let it stay" if that's more helpful for you in your practice for sure Another way you could word it that might be useful might be to "drop NN" / "drop the engagement in NN" / "drop the grip in NN"
  10. Go watch leo's "letting go" video
  11. Yea I think the game will be to regulate it and let our kids enjoy it without it turning too much into an addiction/over-use
  12. It goes really in depth in different ways, there's also a lot of illustrations, it's actually quite easy to read and advance in the book But also it's divided by stages and you don't need to read more than 1 or 2 stages ahead of your current stage, so in the first 100 pages should be already most of what you need to read
  13. Youtube/smartphone might have some possitive aspects although imo there are a lot of negatives effects as well (of over-utilising i'm talking), like weakening focus skills and becoming more reactiv to instant gratification/stimulus, amongts other But as @Jonac say I don't think it will be really avoidable, when all the 6yo kids will have their smartphone there probably will be a ton of resistance from your kid if you put a 0 smartphone policy, and even besides that, maybe that might have negative effects on the kid's ability to bound and make friend and whatever when he's the only kid in his class that doesnt have his smartphone and has no idea what all the other kids are talking about Giving the smartphone specifically when the kid cries to distract him is definitly bad though, that's literally given a reward for crying and for sure this patern reinforced because it will be the same all the time) will be picked up by the kid and here you have some really bad conditioning, Eckhart Tolle talked about it in a video as well (not specifically with a smartphone but to give a reward to the kid crying so he stops crying)
  14. It's the same for the Goenka vipassana retreat (although there it's by audio tape, not memorizing) I think it's fine and a good idea, as soon as your organisation/teaching spread massively the only way to keep the teachings intact is to keep it 100% unchanged, if you allow any change in a huge structure like that there will be minor change there + minor change there + minor change there which will make big changes in time, some who would be good, other that will just lose the value of the teaching in the first place, and in the end it's just gonna be a big chaos/random kind of